


Little Dreamer

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 13:29:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 92,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3652110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our story opens with a frightened seventeen-year-old girl on the run- battered, starved, exhausted and nine months pregnant. How this is going to turn out is anyone's guess. Life never does know how to play fair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: SO! I’ve gone back to working fifty hour weeks, and that makes me grumpy. Lol. So as a result, you get a chapter and I get to wake up at five forty-five on my Saturday morning so I can work a ten hour shift. 
> 
> The Oblivious chapter is done, but it needs to be beta’ed, so you get Dreamer a few days early! Because I’m amazing at schedules (or maybe you’ll get another Dreamer chapter Monday. Hmm).
> 
> In any event. Let’s see how this goes down.

Tyler wasn’t usually so clingy, but Bella wasn’t about to complain. His solid weight in her arms and his arms in a vice grip around her neck had always been a comfort to her. That had never been truer than it was today.

She, Charlie, and Karen had just sat down to try to explain to the kids what was going on; mainly the fact she was moving away and why. At eleven and nine, Mike and Angela were grasping the enormity of the situation a bit better than Tyler. He was stuck on one main concern.

“Are you really going to move away, Bella?” His voice wavered and his lower lip quivered. Bella would have thought she’d be used to her heart breaking by then, but no. His expression twisted her up in knots.

She rubbed his back. If only he knew how scared she was, how much she wanted to take all of them with her to Seattle. “It’s not so far away, bub.”

“Yes-huh. Seattle is forever away.” He began to whimper, his grip becoming a stranglehold. “And it’s not fair. You already left the house, and you said it was okay because you weren’t going far, and you were going to come over all the time. Except you’re never here at bedtime or hardly ever except the weekends. I don’t want you to go more far. It’s not fair.”

“Ugh. Shut up,” Mike said, cross as ever. "Don't you understand? Bella's a mom. She has her own little kid. Who needs you?"

"Mike, be nice," Bella said, hugging Tyler tighter. "I'll always need all of you. You're my guys, you know?"

Tyler twisted his head to glare at his big brother. "So there," he said in the age old, end-all be-all argument of four-year-olds everywhere. He looked at Bella, his fierce expression turning confused. "Are you going to have a baby, Bella?"

It was Charlie who answered for her. "Ty, I know this is hard for you to understand." He came to squat in front of Bella, and he squeezed her knee in a comforting gesture. "Do you remember when we talked about not going off with strangers and what to do if someone tries to take you away?"

"Because there are bad people who take little kids," Tyler said.

"That's right. Well, before you were born, your sister had a baby. A little girl. A bad person took that baby away. We couldn't find her."

"Not even the police?" Tyler asked, his eyes wide.

"Not even them."

Tyler ducked his head at Bella's neck. "But why? Why did someone take Bella's baby?”

"That's hard to say. She was probably sick. Sick in her head. You remember we talked about how people can get sick in their heads?"

Bella bit her lip. There were so many things she could have said about the woman who took her baby away. It was still strange to have a face and a name to go with that sickening, vehement hatred that had plagued her for six years. It was an impotent rage. Sasha Chernova was long dead, taking all her reasons and the answers to many of Bella's questions with her.

As near as anyone could figure, Sasha had actually been pregnant. That was likely how she kept Katie alive for the nearly two months she'd had her, terrifying as that thought was. She was a homeless woman based out of Seattle, but she had disappeared for a few months toward the end of pregnancy to find the father of her baby. Whether she'd gotten Bella's baby from someone else or had been the one to come across a dying teenager and her bloody, newborn baby, no one would ever be able to say for sure. One way or the other, she ended up with Bella's baby as she wandered back to Seattle.

When Sasha overdosed on the streets of Seattle, there was no reason for the investigators assigned to the case to think the unnamed baby Jane--a child with no birth certificate--wasn't hers. Therefore, there was no possible way for the baby to be connected with a random kidnapping eighty-two miles away. They went through the usual attempts to find the father, advertising in the local newspapers when Sasha's friends couldn't give any useful information. Of course, no one stepped forward, and baby Jane's foster parents were able to adopt her.

What happened to Sasha's baby was just one of many unanswerable mysteries.

Tyler sniffled and lifted his head to look at Bella. "Okay, but why can't the baby stay with you at your house?" His eyes brightened. "Or you could both come here! I could help you take care of her. Daddy and Mommy would help too."

Bella laughed and hugged him again. "You're so sweet, but it's a little more complicated, bub."

That was the understatement of the century.

"Plus, Katie isn't a baby. She can't be," Mike said, figuring things out. "Did the police have to save her from bad people?"

"No,” Bella said, wanting very much to be firm about this. She wouldn't have anyone thinking Jasper and Emmett were bad people. "No. The person who took her died, and the police didn't know Katie had been kidnapped. The people who had her didn't know either. They're very good people, and none of this is their fault." She took a deep breath. "And you're right. Katie isn't a baby. She's six."

"Six!" Tyler squeaked, sounding awed.

"Bella?" Angela said, speaking for the first time.

"Yeah?"

"I think it's weird you're a mom, but I'm sorry someone took your baby. That was mean."

At that, Bella's heart broke in the best way. "Thank you, sweetie. You're right, it was very mean."

"Hey, guys," Karen said, smiling at all of them encouragingly. "Do you realize that means you're uncles and you're an aunt, Angela?"

"What's an uncle?" Tyler asked, screwing his nose up. Karen only had one sister.

They talked for a while until the kids had finally run out of questions. It was way past Tyler's bedtime at that point, and because he had yet to let her go, Bella was the one to put him to bed. Anyway, as he'd said, he missed her.

"Hey, Bella?"

Exhausted from the emotional drain of facing three inquisitive children at various levels of understanding, Bella dreaded whatever was about to come out of Tyler's mouth. “What is it, bub?"

He yawned, pulling the blankets closer. "I think you're going to be a good mommy."

Bella gathered her baby brother in her arms, blankets and all. "Thanks. I really needed to hear that."

When Bella left Tyler's room, she found Charlie in the hallway waiting for her. He opened his arms to her, and she went to him gratefully. She felt as needy as Tyler for someone to hold her through all these things she didn't understand. She couldn't get enough hugs.

Once, Karen had told her that Charlie had never been very physically demonstrative before Bella showed up. She hadn't said it in as many words, but it wasn't difficult to read between the lines. Bella had been an abused, troubled teenager starved for love and affection. Charlie had become exactly what she needed most.

"Tyler's right, you know," he said against Bella's crown. "You're going to be a great mom."

Bella let out a slow breath, choking on the thought. "If you say so."

He squeezed her once more and let her go. "You're great with the kids. Especially Tyler."

Bella wrapped her arms around herself, looking at some fixed point down the hallway. "I was really scared when Karen was pregnant with him. I was so bitter because I knew no one was going to take him from you." She looked down at her feet. "I almost ran away. I probably would have, but I couldn't decide where I wanted to go. And then I thought Mike and Angela would be upset."

"Yeah, for the record, Bells? Your dad wouldn't have taken that so well either, so thanks for not doing it."

Bella glanced up at Charlie, a little sheepish. It still surprised her sometimes to realize her father loved her-- really and truly loved her. "I was scared of what it would do to me. I was scared I couldn't handle it."

Charlie nodded. "So was I, if you want to know the truth. Tyler snuck up on all of us, but you were so good with him."

Bella rocked on her feet and leaned against the wall. "I used to pretend he was my baby. I mean… I knew he wasn't mine. He isn't mine, but I pretended, sometimes. I pretended he was the baby I lost. Just to try to feel what it would have been like. I'm sorry. I know he isn't mine. I just pretended."

"I know that, honey. I'm sure that's pretty natural, and it’s fine. All Tyler has ever known is he has a big sister who loves him. I'm glad he has you. I'm glad all the kids have you. They love you." He bumped the underside of her chin with his finger. "I think you should remember that too. You didn't always know how to be a big sister, but you figured it out."

"This is different," Bella whispered.

He tucked her hair back over her shoulder. "It is different. But one day, you have to believe that Katie is going to feel lucky her mother found her. I know it isn't going to be easy for a while, and being a parent is never going to be easy period, but you're going to get through all that. We did, right?"

"Yeah." Bella sniffed, trying not to get overwhelmed again.

Charlie was right. Not so many years ago, they'd been perfect strangers, and even though Bella had pinned her very last shred of hope on a father she'd never met, it took her a long time to trust his love was real. Finding Bella had tossed him into the fight of his life, and to this day, she didn't understand why he'd done it.

In the aftermath of her baby's birth, Bella had a brief psychotic break with reality. It was during this time that Charlie went to the mat, fighting Renee for custody of their nearly adult daughter before Bella was capable of having a conversation let alone answering the millions of questions he had. Renee hadn't made it easy. She was possessive and entitled--likely the real reason she hadn't told him about Bella in the first place. The fight was mostly for show, though. When Charlie made it obvious the state Bella was in, her mother had given up quickly enough.

He was endlessly patient, waiting for her to get strong enough to face what had happened to her and her baby before he started asking questions. He'd taken her in, helped her integrate into his family--her family--and pulled her back every time she tried to push him away. He saw almost as many therapists as she did, trying to be what she needed. She'd been skittish, desperate with despair, and angry at the world. He'd loved her instantly and unconditionally, even when love had been so scary to Bella it physically hurt.

Bella went to her father and hugged him again. "If I'm going to be a good mother, it's only because I had you."

~0~

It had been a long time since Edward had been driven anywhere by his father, but he had to admit he was glad for the support. He was, in all honesty, too jittery to drive. Actually, he felt like he'd been too jittery to do much of anything since all of this had started.

Edward took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before he got out of the car. He looked around the parking lot, and though he shouldn't have been, he was startled to see Emmett and Jasper across the way. They were in their car, their heads bent together.

"This sucks," he said, watching the couple. "Is that a horrible thing to say when I get to be a father?"

Carlisle sighed. "Being a father is an amazing thing, but this is the worst way to go about it I can think of." He followed Edward's gaze. "I can't decide if it's better that the one responsible for all this is dead. Would it be easier for all of you if you had a focus for your anger?"

Edward rubbed his eyes. "I don't want to be angry, and I just… There's so much pain.”

“I’m sorry, Edward.”

They sat together in the car for a while, only getting out well after Emmett and Jasper had entered the building. Carlisle went as far as the waiting room where Bella and Charlie were waiting. From there, Edward and Bella walked together into the office of Marcus Bertolucci, one of Seattle’s leading child psychologists.

It wasn’t their first meeting. Marcus had met with all of them--Edward, Bella, Jasper, Emmett, and Katie--before in order to get a firmer grasp on the situation. Edward was surprised to see Emmett and Jasper weren’t in the office, but that was soon explained.

“Follow me,” Marcus said, holding open a side door. “I figured it might be easier for everyone if we had a bit more space.”

Right. While they were cooperating--they were aware they had no choices here--Emmett and Jasper weren’t exactly their biggest fans, and that was more than understandable. He couldn’t imagine what it was costing them not to fight this. Space would be a welcome thing.

Marcus led them to a small conference room where the couple was already waiting. It looked like a group setting, with couches and lounge chairs arranged in a vague circle. Jasper and Emmett were sitting together on one couch. Edward and Bella took another, and Marcus sat in the largest of the lounge chairs.

“Okay, I’m going to get straight to the point,” Marcus said, looking each of them in the eyes in turn. “First, I want you all to realize that you’ve made the first and biggest step, the one that most people never get to. You’ve all agreed to work together, and for three separate parties, that is an amazing, wonderful, and difficult thing you’re doing. My first piece of advice is to hold this as your goal. I know it’s not easy now, and it’s going to get harder before it gets better, but it really is the best thing for Katie that you’re all cooperating with each other.”

None of them replied. It wasn’t exactly praise any of them wanted. Marcus didn’t take offense. He simply continued on. “Now, what you want to understand is that children Katie’s age are, shall we say, malleable. I hope you’ll forgive me for the example, but for instance, what we see in kidnapped children is that their captors are able to warp their perception of reality. They might tell the children that the families they grew up with took them away or that those people are bad people where they, the captors, are good people. They are able to rewrite those children’s reality to the point the children are afraid of their own parents when they’re reunited.”

“What the hell are you saying?” Emmett asked through clenched teeth. “Are you saying Edward and Bella should convince Katie we were the ones who stole her?”

“No. Of course not.” Marcus’s tone and expression didn’t change, and his look was steady. “As I said, it was an example of the mechanism--how the brain works. It can be done with adults too, as I’m sure you’re aware, but it’s easier with children. What I’m trying to say, in this case, is that this whole ordeal may well be easier on Katie than it will be on any of you. The minds of kids her age aren’t yet concrete, and it’s easier to change her reality than it would be with an older child. The ease of this transition will lessen the degree of trauma involved.

“The key here is the consistency with which you repeat the story that is Katie’s new reality. Edward and Bella are her mommy and daddy. Emmett and Jasper are her...uncles. Friends. However you choose to define that relationship, just keep it consistent. Everyone loves her. None of this is her fault.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Edward saw Jasper wince at the idea of being Katie’s uncle. Emmett took his hand, and Edward’s heart ached for both of them.

“Now, as far as telling Katie, I’m a very firm believer in the idea of being honest and open with children. As much as it’s our instinct as parents to shelter children from the hardships of life, there’s often more harm done in pretending they live in a different world than the rest of us. They see and process much more than we give them credit for, and no amount of pretending is going to change what happened.

“This isn’t to say you should dump everything on her with no care as to how you do it. Every child has their own threshold. Emmett, Jasper, this is where everyone will need to lean on you. You know her best. You’ll probably have the best sense of how much she can handle and how to best present the information. I know she’s advanced for her age, so she may be able to understand a lot of the nuances of what’s happening here.”

He looked to Emmett and Jasper. “If it’s everyone’s intention to keep you both in her life, it’s important for you to be her ally, even when the words are difficult for you to say. You’re going to have to repeat that Edward and Bella never wanted to give her up. They aren’t the bad guys. They aren’t trying to hurt her. They love her and they want her.”

The couple looked stricken, but Marcus didn’t give them time to interject. He looked to Edward and Bella. “Similarly, it’s very important that you not downplay how important these two men are to Katie. You’ll want to repeat that you aren’t angry at them. They aren’t the bad guys. They aren’t the ones who took her. They love her, and they will be an important part of her life.”

Emmett huffed. “Yeah. I hope that’s a good enough excuse for her. When we told her she was adopted, we told her we’d be her daddies forever, and fuck you, if you think she’s going to forget that.” His voice cracked, and he looked down at his and Jasper’s joined hands. “We promised.”

Edward looked to Bella. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and when she looked back at him, he could tell they were both thinking the same thing. Marcus could repeat it all he wanted, but they sure as hell felt like the bad guys.

“And that ties in with my next piece of advice,” Marcus said with empathy. “All four of you have every reason to be angry, sad… a multitude of difficult to deal with emotions. This is not something you’re going to be able to handle on your own. Now, in this, you will likely fail every now and again, but as much as possible, you’re not going to want to let Katie see your anger at each other.” He eyed them all to be sure they had picked up on this caveat. “Displays of emotion, in general, are acceptable, even encouraged. It will help Katie feel safe showing her own emotions about what’s going on. But it would be counterproductive for any of you to show your frustration with each other.

“What you want is to make sure you lean on your support systems. Lean on each other, your family, and your friends. And I would strongly, strongly, recommend each of you begin therapy. Now. The sooner, the better. Katie too would benefit from seeing a therapist, and while we’re on the subject, given the situation, you two” -- he indicated Edward and Bella--” would benefit from couples counseling with a child psychologist. Katie will act out, and she will test you. One of the challenges you’ll face will be knowing when to put your foot down and when to let her vent. Being a new parent is hard. Being a new parent to a six-year-old is harder. I’m sure you understand where I’m going with this.”

Edward nodded, his throat too tight to speak.

Marcus waved a hand. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. As far as the actual transition, here’s my advice there. I would recommend a system similar to when a previously absent parent or a parent who had lost custody is introduced to a new custody arrangement with their child. The four of you should sit down and explain everything to Katie as we’ve discussed. Tell her who Edward and Bella are, and what happened. Again, you want to stress that it’s not her fault and no one is angry at her. Assure her she’s safe as the news she was kidnapped will likely be a frightening thing.”

He put a finger to his head as though he’d just remembered something. “Allow me a brief tangent and to contradict myself a bit. Children should be told the truth, but as with everything, there is some limit to that. Edward and Bella, you have a unique situation when it comes to kidnapped children. Because you’ve opted to live together, which is a great idea, Katie doesn’t need to know the gritty details of your past relationship. Keep this simple. She was taken away from both her biological parents as a baby. You both want her and never stopped looking for her. Don’t confuse her with the details that don’t matter. I’m sure you’ll have to come clean to her at some point, but this is not that point.”

“Okay,” Bella said, nodding along with Edward that they understood.

Marcus nodded, satisfied. “Now, as I was saying. When you sit Katie down to explain what happened, you also want to tell her what’s going to happen. Her mommy and daddy want her back. This shouldn’t happen overnight. That’s what I meant before. When a parent loses custody of the child or is allowed to see a child for the first time, the courts most often begin with visitation. This is where I recommend you start. See her Monday evenings, Wednesday evenings, and perhaps a little longer on one weekend day. Start these visits on Katie’s home turf at first, at home with Emmett and Jasper, and then move out to a park, and then perhaps a special outing like the zoo--that kind of thing.

“Then you graduate to home visits. Bring her to her new home for a few hours at first, then overnight. Then a weekend. Then she’s home to stay, and Jasper and Emmett are the ones with visitation.”

There was a horrible silence after that, broken when Emmett pushed his chair back so quickly it toppled over. The violent sound in the quiet room made Edward jump. “I’m going to be sick,” Emmett said before he bolted from the room.

His husband remained in his seat as though frozen. His eyes were closed, and his cheeks were streaked with tears.

Edward needed to say something, needed to do something to alleviate even a bit of the terrible pain that radiated off the man like a physical thing. “Jasper, I can’t tell you how--”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry,” Jasper said, whirling on him with a glare that was pure venom. “I’m so sick of hearing how sorry everyone is. You’re going to hurt my kid. My kid. This is going to be a trauma in her life. You’re going to take her away from everything she knows and tell her we’re not her daddies. You’re not just taking our baby away, you’re making us give her to you with a fucking smile. You’re making us talk hearts and rainbows about the assholes who are ripping our family apart. You’re going to make my baby cry when she’s perfectly happy, and you want us to help you destroy that happiness. What makes you think your fucking sorry could ever be good enough?”

He stood, and Edward couldn’t help but shrink backward. Jasper didn’t come at him, of course. He left the room, presumably to find his husband.

Beside Edward, Bella was breathing in quick gasps. “Is he right?” she asked Marcus, her voice shaking. “Are we destroying her life? Are we traumatizing her?”

As was his way, he was honest and calm with his answer. “By strict definition, yes.”

Bella whimpered. “And if I asked you your professional opinion whether or not we should be trying to take her at all?”

“Bella,” Edward said, but he didn’t have the words to protest. Honestly, he wanted to know too. He wanted someone to give him the answer--was this good or bad, right or wrong?

“The King Solomon scenario.” Marcus huffed. “Perfect altruism is a nice idea in theory, especially when it comes to children, but it doesn’t work in reality. In the real world, if some asshole’s solution to two women feuding over which of them was really the mother of a baby was to rip the baby in half, that would not be considered profound, it’d be considered deranged. The mother of the child would let the child go only long enough to get help.”

He shook his head, and gave both Bella and Edward a kind smile. “As I said, I am a big supporter of reality. You’re Katie’s mother and father. No circumstance in the world can change that truth. Now as a psychologist, I can tell you that people recover from trauma at different times, and also that recovery in and of itself is traumatic. Sometimes the repercussions of what’s happened to a victim of trauma doesn’t hit for years, and I think that’s similar to what’s happening here. Katie went through a very severe trauma, she just didn’t know it, and now she has to deal with it. That’s reality.”

“Reality bites,” Edward said.

 **  
**“Frequently, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *hugs everyone* How we doing, kids?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I am ridiculously excited for this fic. I had intended to let this plot bunny sit and stew until I was done with Nightmare, Oblivious, and Trouble, but you know what they say about intentions. Anyway, I had some news to share with you all (news at the bottom) and thought I would celebrate by beginning this sordid tale.**

**WARNINGS: If I can give you one piece of advice? Don’t assume you know what’s going on. However, if you need me to answer questions for reasons of your personal comfort, please feel free to message me. I’ll gladly answer.**

**Dedication: This is what happens when you (and by you, I mean me...I...whatever) start scheming with GinnyW. So this is for you, dearheart.**

**And as usual...I am not Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

 

**Prologue**

 

Bella hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch the day before.

 

She caught a glimpse of herself in the window of a vacant shop and was so startled, she stopped cold. The reflection was something out of a Tim Burton film. The girl there was skeleton-pale except where her skin was painted in black and blue hues courtesy of her stepfather. Her face was littered with bruises in purple tinged sickly green and yellow around the edges. Her features were gaunt and thin, which made her nine-months-pregnant belly grotesque in contrast.

 

Her stomach twisted with a sharp sting. Bella put her hands on either side of her belly. “I’m sorry,” she whispered brokenly to her baby. “I know you’re hungry. I am too. We’re so close. Just hang on a little bit longer.”

 

She took a deep breath, trying to be brave. The girl in the reflection looked like a pathetic twelve-year-old. But she was seventeen. She’d be eighteen in three more months--adult.

 

Unfortunately, until she was legally an adult, her mother and stepfather were still her guardians. That was why she didn’t stop for help. She knew there were any number of places that would help her, feed her and her baby, but they would ask questions. They would call her mother, and all of this would be for nothing.

 

This was the one chance for her and her baby to get out of the hell they were in. One chance, and she was almost there.

 

Her stomach gave another sharp twist, and Bella cried out. She caught herself on the side of the vacant building. These hunger pangs were getting worse.

 

Everything hurt. When she ran from her mother’s house, she was already battered. Over a week of mostly walking from California to Washington--she’d managed a few short bus rides here and there--had only added to her scrapes and aches. She was hungry, dehydrated, and nearing exhaustion.

 

“Almost there,” she mumbled again, to herself and to the baby.

 

She closed her eyes, breathing through this newest pain and fixing her mind on the bright future she pictured. She knew the popular wisdom was not to put your eggs in one basket. The problem was, she only had the one basket left. One variable that maybe, just maybe, could work out in her favor.

 

For the baby’s sake, she had to hope.

 

Bella had grown up knowing absolutely nothing about her father. Her mother dodged the subject whenever Bella brought it up, except to say he was a nice boy. Kind. When she was sixteen, Renee had given her a name--Charlie Swan. And Bella was smart enough to count backward. She’d been conceived in the fourteen months Renee had spent in the tiny town of Forks, WA when Gran Marie shacked up with a lumberjack.

 

It wasn’t even difficult to find him--just a quick search at 411.com. Charles Swan still lived in Forks, WA.

 

Since then, Bella had a vague fantasy of coming to find Charlie. The man didn’t know she existed. If he was kind like Renee said, it wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility Charlie would be happy to know he had a daughter. Despite what her stepfather always said, she was a good kid. Mostly quiet. Not so much trouble. James had hated her, but James was an asshole. If Charlie wasn’t, maybe he would like Bella.

 

Maybe he would even love her.

 

And it wasn’t like she wanted a hand out. She wanted a place to stay--a safe place to have her baby and turn eighteen and get her life together. She could do it. If only someone gave her the chance, she would do it, if only for the kid. She wasn’t trying to be a burden to anyone. Charlie would understand that.

 

Bella groaned as whatever pain had gripped her finally eased. God, she was so tired. So tired.

 

Catching her breath, Bella looked around to see if anyone was looking at her. The last thing she needed was attention. There was a man across the street with an expression that said maybe he was thinking of getting involved. Bella turned and hurried away as quick as she could down an alley.

 

She didn’t even make it to the other end before the pain grabbed her again. She whimpered, leaning against the brick wall. Her legs refused to hold her any longer, and she sat heavily on the ground.

 

It was summer, and it wasn’t raining. That, at least, was going right. But it was Washington, and early summer wasn’t exactly balmy here. Her feet--her blistered, torn up feet, were blocks of ice. She wished she had a jacket. She wished she had a lot of things, but all she had were the clothes on her back and a purse with an empty wallet in it.

 

Another pain hit her, and that was when Bella realized she was an idiot.

 

They weren’t hunger pangs. This was labor.

 

She clutched her belly, her terror going from the steady eight it had been for days to at least a hundred and forty. “No, no. No, no, no. Not yet.” She choked back a sob. “I only needed one more day. Just a few more hours, probably.”

 

A few more hours, and she could find her dad. Why hadn’t she memorized his number? His address? She could have called him as soon as she got to Port Angeles if she’d known his number.

 

The more pessimistic voice in her head told her to stop dreaming. What the hell would this man, this stranger, want with a pregnant, seventeen-year-old idiot? She was dreaming. She was caught up in stupid fantasies again, and hadn't she learned her lesson?

 

Stupid fantasies were how she ended up sleeping with a guy a few weeks before her seventeenth birthday, and look how that turned out. Now she was a pregnant runaway in labor in some random, dirty alley in Port Angeles.

 

Christ, she needed to get out of there.

 

Labor could go on for a long time. That was what she tried to tell herself as she dragged herself back to her feet. All she needed was to figure out how to get a few dollars. She needed to look up Charlie’s phone number. There were computer cafes, right? Or maybe she could find a library. That wouldn’t cost anything.

 

She was so, so close. “Hold on. Just hold--Agh!”

 

Bella collapsed to her knees again.

 

No. This baby wasn’t going to hold on. She needed help. She needed help right now.

 

That was when Bella realized her head was spinning. It wasn’t just her legs that were too weak--her entire body shook. Her energy, scraping the bottom of the barrel for days now, was rapidly falling into the negative.

 

Her brain got fuzzy, her thoughts thick. She was having trouble parsing out what she was feeling emotionally with what was going on physically. That must have been why it took her so long to suspect what was happening. She pressed her hand between her legs, against her jeans and stared at the crimson that stained her palm when she pulled her hand away.

 

Oh, no. She was in trouble. Her baby was in trouble, and she was scared. She needed to get out of here, out into the open where someone could help, but she was too weak and rapidly getting weaker.

 

No. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Not before she could make everything right.

 

“Help,” she said, and the word came out as a croak, far too quiet to be heard. “Help,” she tried again, but it was hopeless.

 

Another pain racked her, and some kind of instinct took over. She managed to get her jeans unbuttoned and peeled them away from her legs.

 

There was a lot of blood. A lot.

 

Too much.

 

It was the last thing she saw before darkness encroached and took her.

* * *

**A/N: I am endlessly grateful to barburella, songster, Packy 2.0, Capricorn75 and, as mentioned above, GinnyW for their help with this monster.**

 

 

**And now for my news! My newest book, Finding Purgatory, is now available on Amazon! This book is my baby, and I’m really excited to be bringing it out in the open after literal years in the making. Link in my profile, and summary as follows:**

_**Bang!** _

_**In one short moment, Ani Novak’s life is turned upside down. Her beautiful family is destroyed and she is left completely alone. With an unnamed desire, she seeks out the little sister she had walked away from when she was nineteen.** _

_**Tori Kane is barely eighteen, jaded, and reluctantly in need of her sister’s help. While Ani is in the position to financially support her sister, the one thing Tori really needs money can’t buy and Ani no longer knows how to give—trust.** _

_**Neither of them expected paradise, but they want more than the hell their lives have become. There has to be a middle ground between heaven and hell where they can just be.** _

**Thank all of you so much for your love and support!**

****

 

 


	3. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello again, lovelies. Someone asked me for the favor of not posting this fic on the same day I posted Nightmare. Technically it isn’t the same day, right? :D

~Edward~

 

“Welcome, children, to Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters.”

 

Edward’s class of first graders look at him with varying degrees of perplexity and amusement. A few of them giggled. Even fewer glared, unimpressed.

 

“Mr. Cullen. This is Evergreen Academy for the Talented and Gifted,” one of the unimpressed ones, a boy named Demetri St. August, said.

 

Edward fought a smirk. Demetri’s condescending tone was adorably marred given that he spoke with a pronounced lisp. After all, Demetri was only four years old.

 

“It’s from the X-Men, dummy,” a boy, Henry Hale, said. “Don’t you know the X-Men?”

 

“Henry,” Edward said warningly. “We don’t use disrespectful language in this school. We’re kind to each other here.” He stepped over to one side of the classroom and pointed to one of the posters on the wall. “Who wants to help me read this?”

 

Many hands shot up.

 

“Cynthia. Do you want to read the first line?” Edward asked.

 

“How to say sorry,” she said dutifully.

 

“Good. Thank you. Now Henry, Demetri, will you please come up here.”

 

Demetri did so readily, Henry more sullenly, which was understandable. He knew he was in trouble.

 

He walked all the children through what he expected out of an apology: I’m sorry for…, This is wrong because…, In the future, I will… Will you forgive me? It was a good lesson for any kid, but perhaps especially these. Obscenely smart people could be just a little bit too big for their britches.

 

Throughout their first lesson together, Edward tried to absorb as much as he could about the children. Rambunctious Henry. Prissy Demetri. Eager Cynthia. Twins Jane and Alec who seemed to him strangely calculating. Katie, a day-dreamy kid who had to be asked to pay attention twice. Anxious Alistair, a kid who seemed nervous about everything. Adventurous Garrett with the brightest green eyes Edward had ever seen. Benjamin. Tia. Charlotte. Eric.

 

They were a cute group of smarty pants if ever Edward had seen one.

 

The curriculum at the school was designed to keep the kids moving, so it wasn’t long before Edward was directing them out the door. “Katie,” he said, putting a hand on the little girl’s shoulder. “You’re going to be left behind.”

 

Katie blinked at him and then gasped, realizing her classmates were gathering with the hall monitor at the door and she was still by the window. “I’m coming,” she said, running off to join them.

 

Edward shook his head and turned his attention to straightening out the classroom. He jumped when a booming voice broke into the silence of the room. “You’re good with the kids.”

 

On the first day of school, there were always a few parents hanging around. The kids who went to this school were typically in high income households with at least one parent who could afford to take time off, worked at home, or didn’t work at all.

 

The parent, a bear of a man with curly brown hair and a grin that made his face look like a college frat boy, laughed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to spook you.”

 

Whatever tension Edward felt at finding himself facing a parent drained away. A lot of the parents were snooty at best, demanding at worst. Everything about this guy’s body language radiated ease. He wasn’t here to yell or criticize.

 

“I’m Edward Cullen,” Edward said, offering a hand. “Are you new to the school? I haven’t seen you before, I don’t think.”

 

“Yeah. I’m Emmett McCarty.” His shake was firm and confident. “We--”

 

He was cut off by the ring of his cell phone. “Hold up,” he said, digging the thing out. Edward almost laughed. Mr. McCarty definitely wasn’t like some of the hoity-toity parents for sure. “Hello? Babe, why are you calling from a blocked number? Did you lose your phone again?”

 

Mr. McCarty looked to Edward and rolled his eyes in that fond way people did when they were talking to their significant others. He grinned and nodded. “Uh huh. I thought so. Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in a second.”

 

As he spoke, Mr. McCarty was already heading for the door. He briefly held the phone away from his ear and caught Edward’s eye. “Hey, it was nice to meet you. Seems like my kid is in good hands here. Gotta run.”

 

He gave a jaunty wave and was gone before Edward could say another word, his voice echoing in the hallway as he talked on the phone.

 

Edward chuckled to himself as he turned back to his classroom. For minutes, he enjoyed the temporary quiet as he straightened everything and prepared for his next lesson. He ended up by the window, looking out at the water. That was another perk of working at such a posh school. The view was incredible.

 

Strange how life turned out. He’d moved around so much in his youth that he didn’t really consider any place home. Seattle was a comfortable fit, though. After he graduated from Stanford with a Master’s of Education with an emphasis in Learning, Design and Technology, he’d sent his resume to many places around the country. Evergreen Academy wasn’t the only place that had offered him a job, but it was the one that called to him most.

 

Often, Edward wondered if he’d chosen Seattle because of that girl he’d met. It was forever ago. She’d been a freshman at Stanford when he was a junior. They’d known each other for only a few months before she disappeared off the face of the planet.

 

They’d talked about Washington a lot. Neither of them had ever been there. Not really. Once, Edward and his parents drove through Washington on a road trip, but that hardly counted. When she disappeared, dropped out of college and stopped returning his calls, Edward had always assumed she’d ended up here.

 

Funny how something could get stuck in his head so firmly. Random moments in a random life. Edward had learned a long time ago his dad was right. Life wasn’t about careful planning as much as it was playing the hand you were dealt.

 

All in all, Edward couldn’t complain. He was a little lonely, but he was fulfilled. He was happy.

 

Who could ask for more than that?

 

~Bella~

“Hey, honey. You done for the day?”

 

Bella looked up to find Siobhan leaning into her cubicle. She smiled at her coworker and resumed cleaning up her desk as she talked. “My brain was done for the day at least two hours ago.”

 

“I know, right?” Siobhan laughed. “Today was brutal.” She leaned in, talking conspiratorially. “Ms. Mallory was a real pain in the ass.”

 

“Tell me about it.”

 

“Anyway.” Siobhan straightened up again. “I think this calls for happy hour across the street. A bunch of us are going. Want to come?”

 

Bella almost said no automatically, but she stopped herself. All that therapy, and she was still used to shying away from social situations. The idea often made her tired. After a long day at work, she liked going home to her little apartment and her laptop. It gave her a chance to decompress and write.

 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll go,” Bella said. She was reluctant, but it was one of those things where she knew she’d have fun if she went. She always did, and she didn’t have to stay long.

 

Siobhan grinned. “Excellent. See you there.”

 

“See you...oh wait! No. I’m sorry.” Bella ran a hand over her eyes, feeling foolish. “I totally spaced out. It’s my little brother’s birthday. Crap. I have to drive by my apartment. I didn’t bring his present with me. I knew there was something I forgot to do at lunch.”

 

“Ha, oh, Bella. My little space cadet.”

 

“I know. I lost my badge again last week, did I tell you?” Bella shook her head. Her losing things wasn’t exactly a new development. “I swear, at some point I’m going to be working to pay for replacement badges.”

 

“No kidding. So how old is baby brother today?”

 

Bella’s heart gave a pang. “Four.” She made an attempt to smile at Siobhan, trying to tamp down the overwhelming sadness she always felt when she thought about young kids.

 

“That’s fun. It’s not a full-fledged party, is it? Not on a Monday night.”

 

“No. Karen--that’s my stepmother--took cupcakes for his preschool class, but he’s still a little young for a huge party.”

 

Siobhan scoffed. “My sister threw a huge party for her one year old. I didn’t get it. She was so stressed out, and for what? He’ll never remember.”

 

“Yeah. Tyler would probably remember at this point, but luckily for Dad and Karen, he’s fine with just the family, lots of attention, and presents.”

 

“Pfft. Kids today. Attention and presents is the important part.” Siobhan gave Bella’s shoulder a friendly squeeze. “Next time, okay? Let’s do lunch later this week.”

 

“I can manage that,” Bella said with a genuine smile.

 

Good girl, Bella. You can almost pass for human now.

 

Bella shook the thought away. She was beginning to finally accept that she would always feel different; she might have looked like the rest of them but she wasn’t built with the same parts. Her therapist said this was her own version of normal. It was difficult for people who had been through as much trauma as Bella to feel as though they were even the same species as everyone around them. After all, she was still young enough she should have been relatively carefree. But that part of Bella wasn’t just broken, it was missing.

 

That was what made socializing so tiring even though she knew she’d have a good time on some level. It was difficult being reminded she’d never be capable of that kind of lightness and ease. Most people existed in the moment. They engaged easily with coworkers, friends, family. Bella was almost always disengaged--drifting, lost in her own head.

 

Oh, well.

 

Dismissing the moment of self-pity, Bella hurried for the parking garage. She could still make it to Charlie’s house on time to leave with the family if she hurried.

 

Forty minutes later, Bella pulled up outside her father’s house. She didn’t even have a chance to get out of the car before the door opened and Tyler came barrelling out.

 

“Bella! Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella,” he chanted as he ran, and then he launched himself at her.

 

“Oof.” Bella caught him and laughed. “Heya, birthday boy.”

 

As she carried him inside to where the rest of her family waited, Tyler chatted her ear off, telling her about the cupcakes Karen had made for him and how the whole class sang for him. Bella ruffled his hair--a mass of curls the same color as hers--when she set him down. “Sounds like a good day so far, bub.”

 

“It’s the best now that you’re here,” he said, taking her hand to lead her into the kitchen.

 

Bella’s eyes filled with tears, and she smiled, stooping to hug the boy one more time. “You’re the best kid in the world, you know that?” she whispered. “Don’t tell Mikey and Angela.”

 

“I won’t,” he whispered back.

 

“Hey, Bells. Is that you?” Charlie said as he stepped around the corner from the kitchen. “Great. Glad you got here on time.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into a side-hug, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. “Tyler was going to blow a gasket if you didn’t get to ride with us to the restaurant.”

 

“We’re going to Denny’s,” Tyler said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I picked.”

 

“Denny’s?” Bella glanced at Charlie who rolled his eyes. “Well that’s….exciting.”

 

“I’m gonna get the shrimps. They have good shrimps.”

 

“You’re the boss.”

 

“He’s boring,” Mike said, stomping down the stairs. “Denny’s is stupid.”

 

“Mike,” Charlie said.

 

“Hey, Bella,” Mike said, ignoring their father to give Bella a hug.

 

“Angela,” Charlie called up the stairs. “We’re leaving you behind. And where’s your mother?”

 

“Charlie?” Karen appeared at the top of the stairs. “Have you seen--” She huffed as she spotted Tyler clinging to Bella’s hand. “There you are. Where did you run off to?”

 

“Bella’s here!” Tyler announced.

 

“I can see that.” Karen smiled at Bella. “Hello, honey. I’m glad you made it. Tyler really wanted you to sit by him.”

 

“That’s the word on the street,” Bella said, ruffling Tyler’s hair. She was smiling in earnest now. Her father’s busy, noisy house never failed to make her happy.

 

It took another ten minutes but eventually they were all loaded into the van. Mike and Angela were in the very backseat, and Bella was next to Tyler just like he wanted.

 

Tyler had brought a few of his toy cars and was making vroom and crashing noises as he drove them around in the air. “Eeeerrr, kchwom,” he exclaimed, crashing a blue van into Bella’s arm.

 

“Ouch,” she said, though of course it hadn’t hurt.

 

Tyler looked up at her and giggled. “Hey, Bella?”

 

“What’s up, kid?”

 

“Do you want to come back and live with us yet?”

 

“Oh, Ty.”

 

“It’s just that I miss you,”

 

“Yeah, Bella. I miss you too,” Angela said.

 

“I bet she doesn’t miss you fart faces,” Mike said, causing predictable protests from his siblings.

 

“Will you guys knock it off?” Charlie said. “We already had this discussion, Tyler. Bella’s all grown up. She needs her own space.”

 

“But I still love you.” She looked over her shoulder. “All of you. Even you,” she said to Mike. “Fart face,” she whispered.

 

That finally got sullen pre-teen Mike to crack a smile.

 

There was a time when Bella thought being here, surrounded by a happy family who loved and wanted her, was nothing but a pipe dream. She remembered her terrifying flight from her mother’s house, and the tiny light of hope that was all she had.

 

What if her father, who had no idea she existed, wanted her?

 

Bella hadn’t had a lot of luck in her life, and it took her a long time, especially with everything else going on, to accept that her fantasy had become reality. Her father was as her mother promised--kind. Most days, Bella still couldn’t believe any of this was real.

 

It was more luck than anyone who came from where Bella had could ever expect. She was lucky. She was so lucky.

 

Bella swallowed down a thick lump in her throat, tears stinging at her eyes as she looked at Tyler and ached.

  
She was lucky. That was what she told herself over and over. One miracle was more than she ever expected and probably more than she deserved. She of all people knew life wasn’t perfect, and nothing about it was fair. It was useless to feel so cheated when it was one miracle less than what she wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know. Short update is short. But hey, only a couple days apart (You’re welcome, MaritaMtzC- MWAH).
> 
> It might be because I’m really excited about chapter 3. 
> 
> Hmm.
> 
> Anyway. Please remember, if you’re so inclined, that my books are available on Amazon, link on my profile. Finding Purgatory is new. Duplicity and One to Tell The Grandkids are free through tomorrow. :)


	4. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sigh. No one noticed Tyler hit Bella with a van! Hehehe.
> 
> Yes, I’m posting again because I am sick (AGAIN) and moody and having trouble writing and need a smile on my face. But after this, the posts should be more regular. Yes.

Evergreen Academy held a Meet the Parents week three weeks into the new semester--just enough time for the teachers to make initial observations about their students. The meetup wasn’t so much a progress report as an opportunity to get to know the environment in which the kids were raised. The academy only hired teachers who had at least a minor in psychology, which Edward did. Their goal was to personalize the educational experience of every child.

 

Ah, private schools.

 

Edward loved children. From the sweetest to the most difficult, he had everlasting patience for all of their quirks and issues. Parents, on the other hand, were on the list of drawbacks of his profession. They were a unique brand of pain in the ass, most of whom figured they were the only ones who knew how to parent correctly. That was fine, of course; one should believe in the way they were raising their kid. It made it a challenge to be anyone else with any kind of responsibility toward the child, though.

 

Rosalie Hale was a micromanager. “Henry should be spending some of his playtime doing something more tame. It’s good that he’s so active, but he could stand to do something that stimulates his mind more, like blocks or reading.”

 

“Mrs. Hale, I can appreciate where you’re coming from, but playtime here isn’t structured. We offer the children a variety of activities to choose from and let them discover their own likes and dislikes.” He looked over to the window where he could see outside. Henry was tumbling in the grass with a few of the other kids, his brown curls bouncing in every direction.

 

Mrs. Hale grimaced. “Mr. Cullen, I can see what you must think of me and my requests, but Henry is...I went through a lot of trouble to have him. I want his life to be as perfect as possible.”

 

“I assure you I can appreciate that.”

 

After Rosalie were Jane and Alec’s parents, who suggested none too gently that perhaps Edward could keep the twins away from the kids were there on a scholarship. Then, they were flabbergasted as to why their kids had trouble making friends.

 

Not all of the parents were horrible, of course. Katie’s father, Jasper Whitlock, was a pleasure to talk to.

 

“Mr. Whitlock--”

 

“Call me Jasper, please.”

 

“Jasper. Katie has some problems concentrating, but I don’t think that’s really a big deal. She just needs to learn there’s a time to focus and a time to daydream,” Edward said.

 

Jasper’s smile was huge and fond. “My little space cadet. You know what’s great about Katie?”

 

“A lot, as far as I can see, but what specifically?”

 

"People are usually either science-minded or creative-minded--left or right-brained, right?” He gave Edward a sheepish look. “Ah, I’m probably just suffering from proud papa disease; though let’s be honest. My kid is the greatest.”

 

“She’s a beautiful girl,” Edward said indulgently.

 

“That she is.” Jasper cleared his throat. “In any event, it’s probably just her being a kid, but Katie is both remarkably creative and interested in science.”

 

“That explains her latest request.”

 

Jasper laughed. “She told you about that, huh?”  

 

“She wants to run a genetic profile on all her classmates.”

 

Jasper clucked his tongue, his pride unmistakable. “That’s my fault. I’m a geneticist. I showed her all the tests I work with. Karyotyping is her favorite--she loves making up what’s written on each chromosome--but she likes the straight out DNA test too. If the other students’ parents agree, she’s especially curious about the twins’ profiles.”

 

“Well, it shouldn’t be a problem. Parents tend to be enthusiastic when one of the children has a project like this. That’s the nice thing about the school. Something like this will go in her permanent record. You never know what will benefit her in the future.”

 

“That’s a heavy thing, isn’t it? For a kid. This is first grade. Can you imagine the things we did in first grade being part of our life achievements?”

 

Edward smiled. “I can’t personally, but some of the alumni of the academy do accomplish amazing things at obscenely young ages. Or, you know, she’ll have a lot of fun with genes. No pressure.”

**~Two Weeks Later~**

Wednesday night after school let out, Edward drove to SeaTac to pick up his sister. She was thirty years old, but that didn’t stop her from bouncing in place on the escalator when she spotted him. As soon as as she could, she broke free of the crowd and ran, dropping her bags and taking a flying leap at him.

 

Luckily, Alice was tiny. He caught her and gave her a twirl. They’d grown up city hopping along with their mother’s job. Maybe it was lame, but his older sister would always be Edward’s best friend.

 

“Ugh,” Alice said as he set her on her feet again. She reached up and squeezed his cheeks between her hands. “I missed your stupid face.”

 

Edward grinned and mussed her hair. “Love you too, Alice.” He hooked his arm through hers as they stepped over to the luggage carousel. “Now tell me what your luggage looks like.”

 

“R2-D2,” she said with absolutely no shame.

 

He laughed.

 

“Hey. Geek is chic.”

~0~

They were back at his little house after dinner.

 

“So,” Alice said, and she took a long sip of her coffee. “Are you seeing anyone?”

 

Edward snorted. “You know, I’m actually impressed. You got through all of dinner without asking me that question.”

 

Alice rolled her eyes. “Give me a break. We talked about how exciting it is to own your own tiny piece of Seattle real estate. You told me all about those baby geniuses.” She pointed at him, shaking her finger. “You know I think it’s creepy that some of them might actually graduate high school before they hit double digits. That’s just wrong.”

 

“One of the kids? He told his doctor he had an ear infection when he was fourteen months old. He told his doctor he had an ear infection.” Edward shook his head. “I thought we were smart, Al. These kids are something else.”

 

“And you’ve deflected again. So? How’s your love life?”

 

Edward grimaced. “Seriously, it’s supposed to be Mom asking me questions like that.”

 

“Edward.”

 

“Nothing exciting. There was a girl. We had a few dates. It didn’t go very far.”

 

“Uh huh. Did you end it or did she?”

 

Edward narrowed his eyes at his sister. “We weren’t compatible.”

 

“I knew it.” She shook her head, laughing. “Did you at least get laid?”

 

“A gentleman never kisses and tells.”

 

“Hah. You didn’t even get laid.”

 

Laughing, Edward tilted his head against the back of the couch. “What can I say, Alice? My life is uneventful.”

 

Alice squeezed his knee. “You’re so cute with your dreams of happily ever after.”

 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. A very hard knock.

 

Edward furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“You have friendly neighbors?” Alice asked.

 

“Not as far as I know.” Edward got up. He went to the door and peered through the peephole, pulling back when the knocker knocked again. Harder. “The hell…”

 

No sooner had Edward opened the door than he found himself being propelled backward with an arm across his chest. He hit the wall with a gasp, pinned up against the wall. Alice gave a short scream, but Edward couldn’t look at her. He was caught in the furious glare of Emmett McCarty.

 

“Mr. McCarty, what--”

 

Emmett grabbed Edward by his shirt and pushed him back against the wall. “There’s only one thing I want to hear from you, you sick prick.”

 

“Edward, what the hell is going on?” Alice asked, looking back and forth between them. “Do I need to call the police?”

 

“I am the fucking police,” Emmett said.

 

Edward had his hands up, unsure of what to do. Emmett was a cop, and besides that, he was huge. “Mr. McCarty, I don’t know what’s going on. Is this about Katie?”

 

Emmett shook him, his face contorting in fury. “Don’t you say her name, and don't play dumb with me.”

 

“Look, I really don’t know what you’re talking about, but if  you’ll calm down--”

 

“Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down.. I want to know what the hell you think you’re doing. What’s your plan here? How long have you been stalking us? Because if you think you’re going to take my little girl”--he shoved Edward hard against the wall, prompting another cry from Alice--“I will kill you. I will kill you before I let you near her.”

 

“This is crazy,” Alice said, hovering out of Emmett’s reach only because Edward held his hand up in a stop motion toward her. “I’m going to call the cops. The non-insane cops.”

 

“Emmett!”

 

Emmett’s husband came charging through Edward’s open front door. Jasper Whitlock grabbed Emmett by the shoulders and wrested him back. The man kept his fingers fisted in Edward’s shirt, dragging him forward with him. “Let him go, Emmett,” Jasper said.

 

“Like hell. I want to know. I want to know what he planned to do with our daughter.“

 

“Mr. McCarty, I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Whatever you think I’ve done, I’d never want to hurt Katie.”

 

Emmett laughed. It was an awful kind of laugh that made Edward’s gut twist. “You really going to play that card? Of course you’d never hurt her.” His tone was sarcastic as he shook Edward again, hard enough to hurt. “You’re her daddy, aren’t you?”

 

“What?” both Edward and Alice said.

 

What the hell…

 

“Emmett.” Now Jasper had his hand on his husband’s shoulder, and he sounded wrecked. “Let him go.”

 

Emmett, still staring at Edward, held his gaze for another five tense seconds before he shoved him backward, finally letting him go. He let Jasper draw him to his side. Their fingers twined together.

 

Alice came up next to him and squeezed his arm. Edward, breathless with fear and more confused than he’d ever been in his life, stared at the two of them. He swallowed hard. “I don’t understand what you’re accusing me of.”

 

Another few horribly oppressive seconds went by. Jasper took a shaky breath and raised his head to meet Edward’s eyes. His eyes were red-rimmed, but his expression was just as fierce as Emmett’s. It was a calm kind of fury, even more dangerous. Edward took an unconscious step backward.

 

“Katie knows she was adopted. That’s one of the reasons she’s so obsessed with DNA tests.” He huffed. “She thinks it’s...fascinating that anyone in the world, anyone she sees and interacts with, could be related to her. We would never know. We talk about odds all the time, and if she knows there’s a chance, she thinks anything is possible.”

 

Inexplicably, Edward had started to shake. A cold sweat had broken out all over his skin, and his head swam. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

 

Jasper stared back at him as though he could see the shape of his soul. “You really don’t, do you?”

 

“Bullshit,” Emmett said. “Bullshit. He has to know.”

 

Jasper shook his head, not looking away from Edward. “No. If he knew, he wouldn’t have let us run the test.”

 

“Is someone going to explain what the hell is going on? This is cryptic,” Alice said, squeezing Edward’s arm again.

 

In answer, Jasper shoved a piece of paper into Edward’s hands. Edward couldn’t bring himself to look away from the two men standing in his entryway.

 

Alice yanked the paper out of his hands. After a moment, she gasped. “Edward, this is a paternity test.”

 

Edward stopped breathing.

 

“It says you’re the father of...someone.”

 

“Katie,” Emmett said, his voice just as rough as Jasper’s had been a moment before. “It says you’re Katie’s biological father.”

 

“That’s impossible,” Edward whispered. His pulse was so thready he was sure he was seconds away from fainting. “That really isn’t possible.”

 

“Cut the shit,” Emmett snapped. “What’s impossible is you wanting us to believe you didn’t know. How could you not know? How could you be here, with Katie, and not know?”

 

“It’s not possible!” Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, willing rational thought to come back to him. Whatever this nightmare was, he wanted out. “I’m not Katie’s father. I’m not anyone’s father.”

 

Emmett ripped the paper from Alice’s hand, shaking it in Edward’s face. “Stop trying to pretend you’re not some shady asshole when we have indisputable evidence.” He shoved the paper back at Edward, hitting him on the chest as he did. “I always wondered what kind of man would fuck a homeless druggie and leave her to overdose on the streets of Seattle.”

 

“Jesus. I didn’t…” Edward shook his head as though he could clear the fog of confusion away. Nothing made sense. He reckoned backward quickly. “I didn’t even live here. Katie was born before my senior year at Stanford. None of what you’re saying is possible.”

 

“The test--”

 

“I don’t give a damn what the test says,” Edward snapped. “I don’t know what the hell you’re trying to pull, but--”

 

“What we’re trying to pull?” Emmett took a step forward, his fist clenched. Jasper had a hand on his shoulder in an instant, and Alice stepped in front of her brother.

 

“Okay. Okay. This is insane,” she said. “We all just need to take a breath. Sit down. Let’s all sit down for a minute.”

  
Somehow, she managed to get them all herded into the living room. When they were all sitting--Emmett and Jasper on the couch together, Edward on his lounge chair and Alice standing with her arms crossed--she took a deep breath. “Okay,” she said, looking at the couple. “Let’s try that again. And start at the beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I told you not to assume. ;) All will be clear...eventually.
> 
> Also last reminder - Finding Purgatory is now available for $2.99 on Amazon. Duplicity and One To Tell The Grandkids are FREE today only. Links in my profile.
> 
> Have a good weekend, my beautiful people.


	5. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ugh. Why is it Monday again?
> 
> Quick note about all my other stories. I haven’t forgotten about any of them. I seem to have a head cold, and it makes it difficult to think. I’m going to try to get back on track this week! Trouble, Oblivious, and then either Fly Away Home or Long Distance are my goals for the week... but Nightmare is also burning a hole in my brain, so we’ll see how that goes.
> 
> Now. Let’s see what answers we get out of this chapter. Or will there be more questions? Let’s see.

**Stanford**

 

“You are pathetic, Cullen.”

 

Edward looked up from his laptop, surprised to find his friend in front of him. None of his friends were in the library this early in the semester. “What are you doing here, Tanya?”

 

She snickered. “You don’t even know what time it is, do you?”

 

Irritated, Edward glanced at the lower right of his laptop and then he balked. “Oh, hell. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was so late. I stood you up for dinner. Why didn’t you call me?”

 

“When you didn’t show up after twenty minutes, I had a pretty good idea where you were.”  
She reached across the table and unearthed his cell from the paperwork scattered all around. “You always put your phone on silent when you’re in the library.”

 

“You calling me predictable, Ivanova?” He snatched the cell back.

 

“Easy. I’m calling you easy.”

 

“Ha, I can’t possibly be that easy.”

 

“Good point.” She tilted her head and waggled her eyebrows at him. “We could go bar hopping instead of dinner. I’m a great wingman. I’ll get you laid, no problem.”

 

“I don’t know where my fake ID is.”

 

“I know the clubs that don’t care.”

 

“Tanya--”

 

“I know, I know.” She laughed, shaking her head. “You’re not here to get laid. Except that’s an especially stupid thing to say considering one, it’s summertime and two, you’re not even signed up for a summer session class. What the hell are you doing in the library, for chrissakes?”

 

“Doing research for that scholarship I’m applying for, remember?”

 

“No. I don’t remember, because I zone out when you’re talking about boring things.” She plopped down in the seat beside him. “Never going to understand you. It’s not like your parents can’t pay for your education. But no, you have to make it on your own, and drive yourself up the wall in the process.”

 

Edward huffed. “Right. Because I’m the one that bought my car, pays for housing, and I fly myself across the country to see them.” He shook his head, dismissing the rest of her argument. “I’d like to do as much as I can for myself. It’s important to me.”

 

“Okay, okay. I get it. No pussy. It’s just a shame, that’s all.”

 

“What do you care? Isn’t that more for you?”

 

“Contrary to popular belief, straight girls don’t experiment in college. Or if they do, it’s with another straight girl.” Tanya craned her head to grin at him. “Though, I don’t know. The kind of girl who would fuck a boy as pretty as you might be thinking of swinging my way.”

 

Edward made a face at her and looked back to his work.

 

Tanya ruffled his hair. “You know it’s true. But maybe I should shut up. It’s to my benefit for you to keep your dick in your pants.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“Because some day, when I give in to the urge to pop a kid out, I’m going to ask you for a donation.”

 

Edward’s head snapped up. “What?”

 

Tanya cackled. “Oh my god. The look on your face is amazing. Can you blame me? Jesus, have you looked in a mirror? We’d make beautiful kids. Kids that would give the Jolie-Pitt kids a run for their money.”

 

“How nice of you to inform me about the plans you’re making for our future.”

 

“Eh, it’s a thought. Anyway, the point is, the fewer bastards you make, the better. I wouldn’t want my kids to be jealous.”

 

“Couldn’t have that,” Edward muttered, getting distracted by an article that had caught his eye. He sent it to the printer and got up to get it.

 

“Oh my god. I’m right here in front of you, and you still can’t stop working.”

 

“I’m almost done,” Edward said, sitting down again. “For tonight anyway.”

 

Tanya sighed in an overly dramatic way. “You’re going to wake up one day, and all that glorious hair is going to be stark white.”

 

Edward mumbled something unintelligible, really distracted now.

 

“Fine. Call me when you’re ready to stop for a meal, you anti-social asshole.”

 

“Ten minutes. I’ll be right there.”

 

“Sure you will.”

 

When Edward glanced at the clock again, he could have sworn only twenty minutes had gone by. As it turned out, he’d been engrossed for over an hour. He rubbed his eyes, deciding maybe it was time for a break and to see if Tanya still wanted to be friends with him. He gathered all his things, stacking his printed out articles in groups relevant to the different parts of his argument. Organization was key.

 

He headed out of the library, down the steps, deep in thought, and only barely caught a glimpse of someone else, someone directly in front of him, stooping. He couldn’t stop himself in time, and ended up toppling head over heels in a storm of papers, books, and his laptop bag.

 

“Ow. Shit,” someone--a girl--said.

 

Edward glanced at her, saw that she was upright and conscious, and scurried on his hands and knees down the steps to where his bag had landed. “Shit, shit, shit,” he said through clenched teeth, opening the bag to check on the contents--his precious laptop. Once he’d established it was in one piece, he turned to the girl and all his print outs. “What the heck is wrong with you?”

 

The girl, who had been gathering papers, looked up at him. Her eyes at first were wide and hurt, but only for a split second. Then, they narrowed. “What’s wrong with me?”

 

Edward yanked the papers out of her hands and started gathering them into a neater pile. “Couldn’t you attempt to watch where you walk?”

 

“Why, because you were watching where you were going? I don’t know if you noticed, but you tripped over me, which means you were walking into me as much as I was walking into you.”

 

He frowned, realizing her logic held up but was too angry to care. “And you bent down in the middle of the steps for what? If I was looking forward, I wouldn’t have seen you anyway. It’s like you were trying to get in people’s way.”

 

“There’s no one else out here,” she said, gesturing around them. “I was stopping to tie my shoe, if you have to know.”

 

“Great.” Edward made a disgruntled noise, frustrated as he tried to remember which articles went together. “Everything is a mess. These were organized. This is going to set me back. I’ll have to reorganize everything before I can get to work.”

 

She chuffed and muttered something under her breath.

 

“What?” he demanded.

 

She looked at him as though she was going to brush it off, but then changed her mind. “I said it must be nice to have such first world problems.”

 

“What?” he asked again, furrowing his brow in confusion.

 

“Nothing.” She handed him another stack of articles.

 

“No. Tell me what you meant.”

 

She sat back on the step and rubbed her leg. She had a bruise, he noted. Not from him--it was way too early for any bruises to show. "I'm sorry. It's just, I was at a shelter this morning."

 

Edward balked. “Are you homeless?”

 

Her eyes went wide and she ducked her head. “No. No. I meant... I meant I was working at the shelter this morning. Volunteering. I volunteer there. Sometimes.”

 

“Oh.” He rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. “Yeah, that makes more sense.”

 

She looked away. “Look, whatever. Sorry. It’s just that you’re stressed out about paper. I get it. This sh-stuff is in some kind of order, and it probably took a long time to put it all together. Just…”

 

“It’s an annoyance, not a problem.” Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. When he looked up at her again, he offered a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m good.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. He offered his hand to to help her up, and when she reached for him, she raised her head. He was struck by how pretty her eyes were--bright even in the dim light of the encroaching evening. He cleared his throat. “I was really rude. Can I… Have you had dinner yet?”

 

Her eyebrows shot up, and a smile quirked her lips. “You want to take me to dinner?

 

“As an apology. For the rudeness. It seems like the least I could do.”

 

She looked dubious but not upset. “I don’t even know your name.”

 

“And I don’t know yours. I’m Edward Cullen.” He noticed then that he hadn’t let go of her hand. He squeezed it and released her.

 

“Bella. Bella Higginbotham.”

 

“Wow. That’s a mouthful. Not Bella, but…” He coughed into his hand. “Anyway. Do you go here?”

 

“I...yeah. Yes.”

 

“So dinner?” Tanya was going to kill him. Or high five him. One of the two.

 

The girl was very, very pretty. Beautiful.

 

Bella smiled. “Okay. Yeah.”

**~0~**

Edward stared at the Washington state ID that was the only photo Emmett and Jasper had of their daughter’s biological mother. He set it down on the coffee table and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, breathing deeply. “If this is Katie’s mother, then there’s no way I’m her father.”

 

Emmett, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face, scoffed. “Are you sure you remember every fuck you had?”

 

His nerves were fried, and Edward couldn’t stop himself from glaring at his student’s father. “You want it bluntly? There was exactly one woman. One woman in a three year period.” He picked up the ID again. “And she wasn’t Sasha Chernova, thirty years old, blond hair, blue eyes, five foot eleven inches, one hundred and thirty-five pounds.” He threw the ID down. “I told you. I was in California. This is a homeless woman from Washington. I hadn’t even been to Washington when Katie was born.”

 

Beside him, Alice rubbed his back. “He’s not lying. I know my brother. He’s not exactly a social butterfly.”

 

Jasper, hand to his chin, began to pace. “We don’t know that much. She was found on the street. No family. No...nothing except a few possessions. The police might not have bothered to do the bloodwork to find out if the baby was even hers. They might have just assumed.”

 

Edward let out a long groan and slammed his head back on the couch. “Why are you so insistent on sticking with this insane theory? Occam’s Razor, right? The simplest answer is the truth. Your story is the one getting the most convoluted. I’m not her father. Shouldn’t that be what you want?”

 

“Of course that’s what I want.” As before, it was clear in Jasper’s eyes that he was a million times more lethal than his husband. “I wish a lot of things, Mr. Cullen, not the least of which is that Emmett had used his head for once instead of rushing out here to confront you. We could have used the time to figure things out for ourselves. But he didn’t, and now we have a mystery on our hands. I’m sure of exactly two things. The first thing is that someday, we owe it to Katie to tell her the truth, the whole truth, about everything we know about where she came from. How she got to us. The second thing I know without a doubt is that the test is right. That’s the part that would be too big of a coincidence. There were too many markers for the test to be incorrect. At the very least, you’re intimately related. The simple answer is that you’re her father.”

 

Edward’s pulse was becoming thready again, so he didn’t try to say anything. He didn’t know what he could have said.

 

Jasper blew out a sharp breath. “If you want me to do the test again, or do a blood test, I will. It would make me feel better too. You can watch me do it.”

 

Edward’s stomach churned, and his mouth went dry. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

**~0~**

The TV was on, but Bella wasn’t watching it. She was laying on the couch, wrapped up in blankets and her robe, still thinking about last weekend.

 

She’d let Siobhan and some of her other work friends drag her out to the club Friday night. It was nice. And tedious. And fun. And trying. Just like most social interactions in her life. She had to learn bit by bit how to become a normal person, and it was tiring.

 

The difference Friday night had been the surprise admirer. Jacob Black from the sales department. She’d never looked twice at him before last night, and had no idea he harbored any thoughts at all about her. But as they drank and ate, he started leaning in more. He laughed at her jokes. He made her laugh. And then his lips had been at her ear, the rumble of it sending chills down her spine.

 

“Do you want to dance?”

 

She had to be convinced, but she’d done it--damn peer pressure--and it hadn’t been bad.

 

It was Wednesday now, and Jacob had made a point of stopping by her desk four times so far that week. She was far from naive, and she knew where his mild flirtation was headed. She was going to have to face the inevitable question sooner than later.

 

Was she ready to date? And if so, would it be Jacob? She didn’t know how she felt about Jacob, and she didn’t know that she wanted to find out.

 

The doorbell rang, shoving Bella back into the present. She grumbled and pulled the blanket over her head. Who the hell could that be? It was seven o’clock at night. Bella had changed into her jammies almost immediately after work, and it had been a long day. She was in neither a state nor a mood to talk to anyone.

 

Whoever was outside knocked again.

 

What the fuck? Rude.

 

“I can hear your television.”

 

Bella froze. That was...unique. Maybe it was a crabby neighbor come to yell at her. She didn’t think her TV was too loud, but neighbors could be assholes. She’d heard that before. That wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have.

 

The knocker knocked again. Much harder. “Please.”

 

Sitting up, Bella reached for her purse. Staring at the door as though the asshole outside was going to burst through like the damn Hulk, she fished out the mace she kept there and slipped it into the pocket of her robe.

 

He knocked again, making her jump. Insistent fucker.

 

One hand on the mace in her pocket, Bella went to the door. She opened it a fraction of an inch, peered out...and then she stumbled backward several steps, the mace dropping to the floor. She backed up until her back hit the wall.

 

The knocker pushed the door open, gently, not moving from the front stoop. He stared.

 

She stared back for thirty of the longest seconds in human history. Then, she closed her eyes as tightly as she could and pressed her hands on either side of her head.

 

This wasn’t happening. There was no way in hell this could be happening. She scrambled for anchors to reality. Was it possible she’d lost it again? That had to be it.

 

“Bella?”

 

His voice was raw, filled with emotion, and it was real. It had to be real.

 

Slowly, Bella opened her eyes.

 

Edward Cullen was still standing on her stoop. He was different and the same. As gorgeous as she remembered, and oh god. As much as her memories of him these last six years had hurt, seeing him right in front of her was devastating.

 

She dropped her hands to her side, trying to pretend she wasn’t shaking as badly as she was. “Ed...Edward.”

 

His eyes twitched at the corners. “So you do remember me.”

 

“I...Yeah. I...What are you doing here?”

 

He took a deep breath, and it seemed to her he was fighting anger. “Can I come in?”

 

Bella looked back and forth between Edward and her shabby apartment. She tried to figure out if she should be scared.

 

No. She was a lot of things right then, but scared wasn’t one of them.

 

“Yeah, um… Come in.” Anyway, if she didn’t sit soon, she was going to fall. She pulled her robe tighter around her and sat heavily on an oversized pillow, leaving the couch for him. She gestured at it. “How the hell...and why?”

 

She didn’t even know where to start.

 

“How did I find you?” he asked.

 

Bella nodded, unable to speak.

 

He ran his hand through his hair, looking away from her. The restless energy between them was unbearable, and yet Bella was frozen too. “You talked about your dad. You told me his name once. I found Forks. I found someone who knew you and your family had moved to Olympia. There were no Higginbothams, so I tried your dad’s name. There was one Bella Swan in the phonebook.” His words got progressively tighter as he spoke, and he had to swallow hard. “So here I am.”

 

“But why?” she asked, breathless.

 

He raised his head then, fixing her with a look that had her terrified.

 

Bella stood up and pressed herself back against the wall. “You know,” she whispered.

 

Fury sparked in his eyes, and he spoke through clenched teeth, but he didn’t move. “You were pregnant.”

 

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she wrapped her arms around herself, turning her head. This wasn’t happening. How was this happening? She had a million questions and none at all. She couldn’t keep hold of a thought long enough to grasp it.

 

“Look, I’m trying not to lose it here," Edward said, impatience coloring his tone. “What the hell? How the hell could you do this?”

 

She shook her head, trying to speak and failing. It was completely blowing her mind that he was here. He knew. He knew and she was going to have to tell him…

 

Oh, god.

 

How many times had she thought of him and what she would say? How could she even begin to apologize. She'd screamed the words once, over and over in an incoherent tantrum when the enormity of what happened hit her. In her fantasies, she found just the right words and spoke eloquently.

 

In reality, her words were a barely there whisper.

 

“I’m sorry."

 

“I thought at the very least we were friends. You knew me.” He scoffed. “I thought I knew you, but apparently, I didn’t. How could you do this? If you didn’t want her, I would have taken her. For god’s sake, anything was better than where she ended up. Did you give her to a homeless druggie, or did you sell her? Did you leave her in a dumpster? What?”

 

Bella had stopped breathing. His words were sinking into her consciousness.

 

She. Her.

 

He said her.

 

Where she ended up.

 

Did you give her to a druggie?

 

Bella flew at him, grabbing him, the fabric of his shirt twisting in her hands. “My baby. My baby. You know what happened to him?”

 

His body jolted and he wrapped his hands around her wrists, but he didn’t do more than that. “Let go of me. What are you doing?”

 

Bella clenched tighter, deranged with this sudden, wild hope. Fear. She had no idea what the fuck was going on in her own head. She needed to hear him say it. She needed to understand. “Tell me. The baby. Our baby. I lost it. I lost the baby.” She gasped in a huge gulp of air. “I woke up, and it was gone. I never saw him. I never even knew if it was a boy or a girl. I never knew. It was just gone.”

 

Her words broke off in a sob, and she reeled, too many horrible memories assaulting her all at once. Why was this happening? Was any of this really happening? She couldn’t deal with this.

 

She let go of him, falling backward onto her ass, her legs no longer able to hold her. “He was gone. He was just gone.”

 

Edward knelt in front of her. She flinched when he touched her hair. “You lost her?”

 

Her.

 

She raised her head, blinking through tears. “Her?” she said out loud. “It was a her? A girl?”

 

The fury had drained from his eyes, replaced by a confusion that went as deep as hers. “Yes. A girl. You didn’t...how could you not know?”

 

She shook her head, ignoring his words. “You know h-her? Is she...she…” Bella swallowed a whimper and tried again. “She’s alive?”

 

He nodded slowly. “Yes. Her name is Katie.”

 

That was too much. Way too much. Her brain couldn’t handle it.

 

“Bella? Oh, hell. Bella. You need to breathe. Look at me. Look at me. Just calm down. Calm down, and breathe.”

 

She couldn’t. Her head swam.

  
Just like it had on the worst day of her life, blackness encroached and took her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *whistles innocently*
> 
> So. Hi?


	6. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Man. I’ve been threatened, called an emotional sadist, spanked, and yelled at. Honestly, I just…
> 
> Well, okay, I deserved it. ;)
> 
> Okay, so, to clear up the timeline, which I realize is confusing. Passages marked Stanford are seven years in the past, around the time E/B met. Edward, who lives in Seattle, found out on a Wednesday night. It took him a week to find Bella, so that was Wednesday night of the following week.

**Stanford**

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Bella crossed her arms, scooting away from him on the couch.

When had they gotten so close anyway?

“A lot of people don’t know their fathers,” Bella said.

Edward made an effort to close his mouth. “I’m sorry. It happens, I know. But usually people at least know who their fathers are. Maybe they only see them every few years, but they exist.”

Bella stared down at her shoes, twisting her hands in her lap, and Edward felt like an ass. “I’m sorry,” he said, sliding over to close the space. “It just took me by surprise, that’s all. It’s weird, isn’t it? That you don’t even know what he looks like?”

She shrugged, still not looking up. “I’ve never thought about it.”

“Yeah, you have.”

He didn’t say the words accusingly, but he knew they were true. “Have you ever thought of dropping in on him?”

Her head snapped up, and she laughed in surprise. “Come off it.”

“Why not? You’re an adult now. There’s no question of child support, and your mom is working her ass off to send you here.” He gestured vaguely out the door toward the campus. “Maybe he would be more receptive to having a conversation when he knows he’s off the hook.”

She looked away again. “It’s not like that.”

“You’re not going to tell me he’s not an asshole for not seeing you all these years.”

“Maybe he’s an asshole. I don’t know.” She smiled at him--a weak smile. “He never got the chance to reject me. Mom never told him I existed.”

Edward balked.

Bella shoved him just a little too hard to be playful. “You’re staring at me like I’m a freak again.”

“You’re not a freak. I’m the one being naive, I guess.”

“Naive?”

Edward shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s what Tanya tells me.” He laughed, smiling fondly. “She thinks my mom and dad damaged me. They have a great marriage. They were loving and attentive to Alice and me. She says that’s why I get shocked by normal things.” He met her eyes and bumped her shoulder with his. “Real life doesn’t look like TV.”

“Yeah, well. It doesn’t look like my life either, I guess.”

“Have you even thought of finding him?”

“Sure.”

“And?”

“My mother didn’t tell him for a reason. He had plans. He had a life.” She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “What the fuck is that face?”

“It’s just...I’d want to know. If I had a kid? I’d want to know no matter what.”

**~0~**

**Olympia**

After he assured himself that Bella had only fainted and he laid her on the couch, Edward sequestered himself in her tiny kitchen. He told himself he was just making tea--she did have tea bags even if she didn’t have a tea kettle that he could find--but really he needed a second.

The last week of his life had been surreal, and this...this was the acid trip of a lifetime.

His hands trembled as he found a small pan and filled it with water from the sink. He managed to get it on the stove, but then he had to lean against the counter or he had the feeling he was going to fall.

He’d been desperate to find her, desperate for answers. Some part of him had hoped she’d tell him he was insane. She’d never been pregnant. All of this was a big mistake.

Our baby. I lost it.

She made it sound like she’d set it down and it had wandered off.

Not it. Her. Katie. Beautiful, brilliant, day-dreaming Katie.

Edward wiped a hand over his eyes, wishing he had an inhaler. He needed something that could open his airways again.

Katie.

Edward would remember the half-crazed look on Bella’s face as long as he lived. He had no idea what the hell was going on. Over the last week, any number of scenarios had played themselves out in his head. He’d been so angry he’d thrown a number of his worst guesses at her. But that look...the unfathomable pain in that look.

He pushed himself off the counter and started opening cabinets. He found a cup, poured hot water into it. He found sugar and, taking a deep breath, he went into the living room.

Bella was sitting upright. When he walked in, her whole body jolted. She rubbed her temples. “Oh god. I thought I imagined all that,” she said, her voice a rasp. Her head came up with a gasp, and she looked at him with wide eyes. “I… baby?”

Edward put the cup of tea on the coffee table and sat on the couch, leaving a comfortable distance between them. “Katie,” he said, keeping his voice gentle.

Her breath left her, and she crumpled slightly inward, covering her face with her arms. “Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.”

“Are you going to faint again? Maybe you should lie down.”

She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes. “I don’t know. I…” She shook her head hard. “I don’t understand.”

“I guess we’re in the same boat then.”

Bella took a shaky breath. “She really exists?”

He didn’t say anything. Something had prompted him to print out the only picture he had of Katie--a class picture. He dug out his wallet and unfolded the picture.

She stared at the paper as though it was going to bite her. She was taking sharp, staccato breaths. He was about to put the paper away when she reached for it. Her hands were shaking. Badly. So badly that he scooted closer to her, holding the picture in his now steadier hand.

His throat was so dry it took several swallows before he could speak. “This is her,” he said quietly, pointing Katie out.

Bella whimpered and gasped, and he watched the tears in her eyes spill over. She wiped them away quickly, still staring at the page. “Fuck. Oh god. Fuck.”

“What?” he asked before he could help it. He couldn’t read her at all.

She put a hand to her mouth and pressed hard. “It’s just… I wouldn’t have known her.” Her voice cracked. “A mother’s supposed to know. That’s what they say. A mother would know her own kid anywhere, but I wouldn’t have.” She breathed in with a gasp, beginning to cry in earnest. “I must have pictured her a billion times, but not like this. Never like this. Not even close. I never…”

It was pure instinct to pull her into his arms. She was so miserable, what could he do but give her a hug?

She came at first, but just as quickly, she shoved him away and stood up. She began to pace. “You are sick. You’re so fucking sick.”

Edward didn’t know what to do but stare. What the--

“I don’t know how you found out. I understand why you’d be angry, but this…” She wrapped her arms around herself. Her voice was ragged. “This is cruel.”

He stood up, not sure if he deserved to be pissed. He didn’t understand what she was accusing him of, but it was clear she was hurting. “Bella--”

“Get away from me.” She stumbled backward, her hands up. That look was back--the look that said that never in his sheltered life had he known the kind of pain she was in now. “You fucking bastard.” She bent at the waist, hands on her knees as though she couldn’t keep herself upright. “Do you have any idea, any fucking idea, what it was like to wake up in the hospital? Empty.” She closed her eyes against her tears. “Why would you do this? Six years. I was finally beginning to accept I’d never know what happened to my baby, as if anyone could accept that. I never knew if she was dead or alive. I never saw her. Him. It. He was inside me, and then I was empty. Why would you make me think I could see her? Hold her? Don’t you understand? I’ve died every fucking day since that day. Every day. I can’t do this. Why would you try to make me think this little blond girl is my baby?”

“Bella,” Edward said, his hands out though he stood still. “I’m telling the truth. I promise you it’s the truth.”

She sat down hard on couch, shaking her head back and forth. “Why are you doing this?” she whispered over and over again.

Edward’s heart was beating out of control. He tried to put the pieces together in a comprehensible picture. “You’re saying something happened when you were pregnant? There was blood.”

She was sitting hunched over, her arms wrapped around each other, crying quietly. After a minute that may as well have been an age, she spoke in a trembling whisper. “It was an abruption. I was on the street.” She flinched. Obviously this story wasn’t easy to tell. “In an alley. Alone. I started bleeding. A lot. And then I passed out.” She pressed her lips together, smothering a whine. “When I woke up again, I was in the hospital. They said the baby was gone when they got there. It was just me. Bleeding out.”

“Jesus Christ. Jesus fucking Christ.” Edward sat down on the floor because his legs weren’t going to hold him up for very much longer.

They sat in silence for minutes. Bella wept, not hysterically, and Edward just tried to wrap his head around her story. It fit with the larger narrative, though there were still so many questions. Maddening questions.

But right now, it didn’t matter what she’d done to him. Hers was obviously the bigger pain, and it took priority for the time being. “Bella… I swear I would never think about telling you this if I wasn’t sure. Katie is… ours.”

Her breath stuttered.

His head spun. This whole line of discussion was making him dizzy. “Her hair is the same color as my father’s,” he said. “She daydreams. Like you used to.”

She whimpered. “How? How could you possibly know she was yours?”

Edward told her the short version. He explained about the school he worked in, and the test. He told her about the second test in Jasper’s lab.

“They showed me a picture of the woman who had her, the woman they thought was her mother. But I knew it was you. I didn’t know how the hell it happened, but it couldn’t possibly be anyone else.” He was staring down at his feet by then. “There was no one else.”

Neither of them spoke for long minutes before Edward couldn’t take it anymore. “What are you thinking?”

Even then, she didn’t answer right away. She wasn’t crying anymore, but she was holding herself in the same stiff posture, rocking slightly back and forth. She sniffled. “For a while after I woke up, I lost touch with reality.  I convinced myself none of it had happened. I thought I’d made up the fact I was pregnant.” She raised her head, looking at him through watery eyes. “I thought you were a figment of my imagination.”

Bowing her head again, she rocked a little more frantically. “I can’t make myself believe this is real.”

“Well, if it helps at all, I’ve had a little over a week to think about this, and I can’t make myself believe it either.” He rubbed the palms of his hands over his knees.

“She’s… happy? She’s been loved?”

“From what I understand, Emmett and Jasper have had her since she was placed in foster care in their home. They adopted her as soon as the courts would allow. They love her very much.”

Bella closed her eyes, her rocking slowing to a more soothing pace. “I never knew what to hope for. If it was better for her to be dead, because if she was alive...what was happening to her? What kind of sick fuck would leave me bleeding to death and take a baby?” She swallowed, shaking her head. “That’s a terrible thing. To wish your baby was dead, but it would be better, wouldn’t it? If she wasn’t being loved and taken care of. It would have been better.”

“She is loved,” he said, because that at least he could be sure of. “They’re so good to her.”

Bella nodded, biting her lip. "I don't want to wake up now. If I wake up and none of this is real, I'll die."

It wasn't, Edward knew, a matter of dramatics. She was simply stating a fact. "This is real," he said.

Another minute passed in silence before she spoke again. “She’s smart?”

“Brilliant. She has to be advanced to get into the school I work at.”

Bella tightened her arms around herself. “I was so stupid.” She drew her legs up onto the couch and rested her head on her knees, still rocking. “I didn’t take care of myself. Never went to the doctor. And then, when I ran, I was starving for days. Thirsty. That meant she was starving too.” She shuddered. “I thought I must have ruined her anyway. I must have hurt her.”

This whole conversation was like being in a heavyweight fight. Edward’s chest might as well have been pummeled for all he could breathe. Again, he had to bite back anger. Why the hell wouldn’t she take care of herself? But other bits and pieces of information stood out. She’d been on the run, which explained how the baby ended up in Washington, and she was starving.

“She’s fine. Better than fine. She’s thriving.”

Bella huffed, staring out at nothing. “And her… her parents. They’re rich. They must be if they could afford to send her to a school like yours, right?”

“There are some scholarship students, but Katie isn’t one of them, no.”

“All this time, she wasn’t only okay, she was better,” she said, processing out loud. “I thought about that too. What an idiot I was to think everything would somehow end up okay. If she hadn’t been taken, what kind of mother could I have been? What could I have given her?  I figured that part out eventually--that I probably couldn’t have given her much of a life. I was seventeen, and--”

“You were what?” Edward asked, his breath leaving him.

She sucked in a breath, looking at him briefly and away. “I was seventeen,” she repeated.

“You were eighteen the day we met. You turned nineteen a month later.”

“I was sixteen when we met.”

“How--”

“Look, I’m sorry. I need a minute, okay? I need to... “ She unwound herself and stood up, cinching her robe tighter around her. “Let me take a shower. You can stay, if you want. You can wait. I need a minute.”

There were a million things he wanted to say. He wanted to demand answers to all his questions--the ones he had before he got to her door and all the ones that had come up since he’d been here. But he was beginning to truly understand the bomb he’d dropped on her lap.

All of this had turned his sedate life into a trainwreck for the last week, but she’d been dealing with a profound loss every day for six years. No wonder she’d fainted at the idea her baby, her kidnapped baby, was within her reach.

He may have been desperate for answers, but they could wait another few minutes. Let her get dressed. “Yeah. Of course. I… I’ll be here.”

She nodded, a stiff jerk of her neck, and hurried away without another word. The walls were thin. Almost as soon as he heard the water go on, he thought he heard the sound of sobbing. He picked himself up off the floor, feeling like crying himself.

Everything he knew about the world had changed, and despite the fact he’d known he was a father for a week now, it was just beginning to sink in.

**  
What in the name of all that was holy was about to happen?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to songster for all her help and for her wonderful fic rec over at the Fic sisters.
> 
> A few more answers for you, yes? Have a good weekend, dear ones.


	7. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Freggin Mondays, man. I have a test I haven’t studied for, so we’ll see how that goes. Anyway. In the meantime, have some angst. I’m going to try not to post for a week, but we all know that probably won’t work. STILL. It’s good to have goals.

Despite the fact she had the water turned up to scalding hot, Bella couldn’t stop shivering. It wasn’t helping her think, but who was she kidding? There wasn’t any chance of her thinking beyond three facts.

 

Edward Cullen was in her living room.

 

Her baby was alive.

 

Her baby wasn’t a baby at all but a beautiful, blond, six-year-old girl.

 

Bella sat down at the bottom of the tub and drew her legs up close to her chest. She sat there, shuddering, and didn’t even realize she was sobbing until her throat was gravelly with the strength of them. She wasn’t processing anything--not grief or fear or rage. There was too much in her head, and her body couldn’t cope.

 

Edward Cullen was in her living room.

 

Her baby was alive.

 

Her baby was a little girl.

 

Each of these facts alone would have been too difficult to process or accept. Together, her mind was a car that refused to start. She coughed, sputtered, but she’d lost any sense of coherency. These were three impossible facts to reconcile with reality, made all the more difficult because she had spent so much of her life wrapped in fantasies about all of them.

 

Somehow, Bella found the strength to drag herself up off the floor of the bathtub. She shut the water off and ran out of energy. She clenched her hands in fists at her side, trying to tell herself it couldn’t possibly be that tiring to lift her leg over the lip of the tub. Like everything else, that thought got lost to the mantra that was chanting louder and louder in her head.

 

Edward Cullen was in her living room.

 

Her baby was alive.

 

Her baby was a little girl.

 

Bella started dragging in staccato breaths. Her head spun, and she fumbled with what little grip she had on her emotions. If she didn’t find control somewhere, she was going to slip into a panic attack.

 

Years of therapy had taught her a variety of coping mechanisms. She knew she needed to find some tiny shred of control if she was going to bring herself back from the brink of panic. That was what this panic attack was about--the fact her life was spinning wildly out of her own hands without any input from her.

 

Start small. Ridiculously small. She needed something she could control without a doubt. Her oncoming panic had given her a small burst of energy, and so Bella was able to convince herself to move. She wobbled a bit as she got out the shower, but she managed to stay upright. With a little more concentration, she dried herself off and put clothes on. It took a little more effort to brush her hair with trembling hands, but she managed to get through it.

 

By the time she was done with that, Bella was calmer. She was by no means completely calm, but at least she was no longer afraid she’d lost her mind. This was really happening.

 

Bella gripped the edge of the counter, weak in the knees as this last realization settled on her shoulders with finality. Edward was really in her tiny apartment, and her baby was safe.

 

One step at a time, Bella moved into her room and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for her phone. She held down speed-dial 2 and waited.

 

“Hey, Bells.”

 

Bella was so relieved to hear her father’s voice, she almost started crying again. For a few seconds, she didn’t even try to speak. She wished it was Saturday morning so she could listen to the bustle of a busy household in the background. She wanted to hear Tyler gabbing away, Mike and Angela arguing, and Karen trying to get them to settle down. Right then, she wanted to be back in her father’s house, gathered around the busy kitchen table, more than she wanted anything else in the world. She wanted to be home where she could laugh at Mikey and Angela’s antics. On Saturday mornings, Tyler would be on Bella’s lap, and Karen would be admonishing her for letting him stick his fingers in her food.

 

“Bella? Are you there?”

 

She whimpered and pressed a hand against her mouth, trying to find the words. “Dad?”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

She closed her eyes, wishing she was strong enough to handle this on her own. Charlie had done so much for her when he’d had no reason. When she moved out of his house, she’d sworn to herself she was done taking from him. But…

 

“I need you,” she said in a broken whisper. She swallowed hard, her heartbeat quickening. “I...he…” How the hell did she begin to explain this. “He found my baby.”

 

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Then, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

 

Charlie was good at knowing when she needed him to do something--no questions asked. Knowing he was on his way did wonders to lighten her load. Steadier now, she took a deep breath and went out to face Edward again.

 

She’d half expected him to have disappeared. A small part of her even hoped she had--a very small part seeing as he would have taken her baby...her daughter’s location with him. Still, she knew she owed this man answers, none of which would be easy. Tension rolled off of him. He didn’t look at her as she came back in the room, but she heard his breath hitch. His brows were knitted, and his mouth was set in a thin line.

 

As overwhelmed and stupid as Bella felt right then, she may as well have been seventeen again. When she moved toward him, Edward raised his head. He didn’t say a word, but his hard eyes followed her as she came to sit on the opposite end of the couch.

 

It occurred to Bella, as she searched for the right place to start, that a normal person, a good mother, would have one goal in mind--to get to her child. But Bella couldn’t wrap her mind around that idea yet. These last six years--more if she counted from the time she knew she was pregnant--her baby had only ever been a concept. She’d had nothing, not even a sonogram, to give her baby definition.

 

So she started with something she could deal with, someone who had always been tangible. “You’re angry,” she said.

 

Edward scoffed and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, fixing his glower there. “I’m...confused.” To his credit, his tone was measured. “I can’t for the life of me figure out why you wouldn’t tell me you were pregnant, unless you didn’t know for sure it was mine.”

 

Bella sucked in a sharp breath.

 

“I’m sorry,” Edward said, looking at her again. “That was…” He huffed again. “Maybe that was rude, but it wouldn’t exactly surprise me at this point. You were seventeen. That means you couldn’t have been a student at Stanford, right?”

 

She had to look down from the hurt and anger sparking in his eyes. “No, I wasn’t.”

 

“Then what the hell were you doing there? Why lie about any of that? What the hell were you trying to pull?”

 

At that, her head snapped up and her eyes went wide. “What the hell are you accusing me of?”

 

He stood up, running a hand through his hair as he paced a few steps away. “I found out a week ago that I have a six-year-old daughter, so you tell me, Bella. Bella Higginbotham. Even that’s changed.” As he spoke, his tone got louder and more cutting. “You lied about your name, your age, what you were doing there. Seventeen! You turned me into a goddamned predator. Then, that stupid line you fed me when you left--that you were dropping out of school to travel. Find yourself. When really, you disappeared because you were pregnant with my baby. Why the hell would you do any of this?”

 

Bella whacked the arm of the couch. “What do you want me to tell you?” she snapped, good and pissed now. He had a right to his anger, and she knew that. But it was too much to handle that, on top of everything, he was assuming the worst of her. “You want to know how my stepfather used to kick my ass from room to room? How I had to figure out for myself which shelters would take a teenage girl for one night, one night without calling the cops or my mom just so I could get away? How sometimes I slept under bridges because that was better than being at home? Is that the kind of shit you want to hear?”

 

The stricken look on his face fed her anger and shame. She’d never wanted him to know these things about her, never. Yet now that she had started, it all came spilling out. “You want to know why I lied about being a student? Because I lived in my fucking head back then. I made up little fantasies and pretended they were real for a few hours at a time, because if I had to live my own life twenty-four-seven, I’d have killed myself.”

 

Her words choked off and she covered her mouth with her hand, fury draining away into something much more painful. “You were the only one who talked to me. To me. To you, I was a person worth talking to. I wasn’t some piece of shit kid or a girl you were trying to fuck. You talked to me and I fucking loved you for it.”

 

She gasped in a breath, trying not to sob, and she was tired all over again. Her shoulders slumped, and she stared down at her lap. “There wasn’t anyone else…no one I wanted, anyway.”

 

“Bella…”

 

His voice was rough with emotion now, and she closed her eyes, feeling twin tears slip down her cheeks. Voices from her past and the ghost of hands on her body sent a shudder through her. “Look, I was fucked up for a long time. That means I got into some really stupid shit and did some really stupid things. You weren’t the first man to touch me, okay? But you were the only one I slept with. There has never been anyone else. Not then and not...not now.”

 

“Then why not tell me?” he asked after an age, his voice quiet again, heartbroken. “I had a right to know I was going to be a father.”

 

Bella wrung her hands in her lap. “Tell you that you’d knocked me up midway through your junior year at an Ivy League school? I couldn’t do that.” She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, shivering. “My life was always a wreck. I grew up with this knowledge, this truth that I would never amount to anything. It was almost inevitable that I got pregnant. I was always going to be a fuck up. But you? You had a plan. You were always going to do great things. I couldn’t be the one who destroyed that for you.”

 

He sat down on the couch again, making a small, frustrated noise. “That doesn’t make sense. My parents are well-to-do. They never would have let me drop out. Bella… we could have helped you. We would have.” He sighed. “I would have.”

 

“Would you?” She dug her fingers into her arms, trying to keep herself grounded. “Or yeah, I know you’re a decent human being. You would have helped me. I don’t doubt that. But would you have done it without hating me? Would you have done it if you knew I had to tell you not only am I pregnant, but I’m seventeen. I’m not some free-spirited art studies major. I tested out of school at fifteen so I could work a few hours. I’m just some stupid teenage brat who had no business coming near you brilliant, Ivy League, blue-bloods. Tell me you wouldn’t have hated me for putting that on you.” She shook her head and swallowed convulsively. “Tell me you don’t hate me now.”

 

He was quiet for a long time. Bella didn’t move, didn’t let her face show what she was feeling, but she was so hurt, taking his silence as confirmation of her long-held fears, that she was surprised she could breathe through this kind of pain.

 

“I don’t hate you,” he said, his voice quiet. “I don’t think I ever could have hated you. I just wish… If you had told me then, I could have helped you. None of this…”

 

She didn’t need him to finish. It was nothing she hadn’t told herself a million times over. None of this would have happened. She wouldn’t have been starving and alone on the streets of Port Angeles when she went into labor. She wouldn’t have had an abruption, and she wouldn’t have lost so much blood that she passed out. Her baby would have been in her arms from the moment she was born.

 

She. A girl. A daughter.

 

Bella’s lower lip trembled, and her shoulders bowed under the weight of her mistakes. “I know that now,” she said, her voice breaking. “But back then, my thought process was warped. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I’d give anything to do it over again.”

 

A knock sounded on the door, and they both jumped. “Bells? I’m coming in,” Charlie called from outside.

 

Bella rose on fawn’s legs. No sooner had her father stepped inside than she was in his arms, letting him fold her into his protective embrace. She wasn’t crying, though she very much wanted to. With Charlie there to support her, it only took another minute before she was calm enough to speak again.

 

“Sorry if I scared you, Dad. I just… don’t know what to do.”

 

“It’s okay. Just tell me what’s going on. Who’s this?” He was staring distrustfully at Edward who looked a little green around the gills. Sure. More than likely it was awkward for him given that he’d just found out he’d had sex with an underage girl seven years before, had gotten her pregnant, and now was face to face with her father.

  
Bella sniffled and pulled away. “This is Edward Cullen.” She took a shaky breath, still unable to believe the next words out of her mouth. “He’s my...daughter’s father, and he found her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Shorty chapter is short, but a few more answers.
> 
> Anyway. Goals for this week are Nightmare, Trouble, and Fly Away Home updates. Much love to you all! Have a great week.


	8. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A couple of you called me out on the fact that Stanford is not one of the Ivy League schools, which is something I was genuinely unaware of. My bad. :)
> 
> Quick announcement. So I did some work for an app (Iphone and Android) called Episode. It’s an app that offers up choose your own adventure stories. If you are interested or you just want to do me a favor (if the story gets enough hits, I get to continue it), hit up the app and take a look at my story, Studio Sweetheart. You should be able to find it under genre: Romance and Drama, then click on Pilots.
> 
> Here’s the summary: Nineteen-year-old Sophia Bardot is the sweet, wholesome America’s sweetheart actress on a popular tweens television show. Think Miley Cyrus the Disney years. The studios are trying to push her on the golden boy of television, Brandon Blakely. But Sophia’s eye is being drawn to one of the grips, the older, not-so-squeaky-clean, very-unimpressed-by-Hollywood Ryder Salazar.

**~The night Edward found out~**

Jasper stood in the doorway of his daughter’s room for a long time just watching her sleep. In the light from the hallway, he could see her features well enough, not that he needed to. He knew every face she made, every pout, every giggle, every smile, every frown.

His eyes stung with tears, but he didn’t want to close them. Not yet. Not if…

Arms encircled him from behind, and Emmett pulled him backward against his chest. He ducked his head and kissed the side of Jasper’s hair.

“I don’t think you understand what you’ve done,” Jasper said in a whisper, folding his hands over Emmett’s but otherwise not turning in to his kiss.

“What?” Emmett asked in his ear.

Jasper took a shaky breath, his eyes still on their daughter. Oh, Christ. Their baby girl. Their baby.

Now Jasper did close his eyes. Twin tears slid down his cheeks. “Em, our adoption is only legal if both parents sign away their rights.”

Emmett stiffened, his arms gone tense around him. “But she’s ours.”

“Not according to the law.” He reached a hand up, wiping away the remnants of his tears, trying not to lose it completely. “He never gave up his rights. If he wants her, there would be no way for us to fight it.”

**~Friday Night, The Next Week~**

Edward watched the chaos going on around him, struck dumb by how much his life had changed in one short week. He’d taken a temporary leave from the school--finding out he had a six-year-old daughter who had been, however briefly, in the hands of a drug addict had been way too much for him to wrap his head around and still go to work. He’d found the proverbial one that got away only to learn she’d gotten away with the a bun in the oven and a story that traumatized him just hearing about it. She and her father were in his condo along with Jasper and Emmett, who only ever should have been the parents of one of his students.

Somehow, Edward resisted the urge to curl up into a fetal ball. Instead, he secured Alice’s hand in his, watching the conversation unfold helplessly.

“I need to see her,” Bella said. Though her voice trembled, she stood up straight as she faced Jasper and Emmett, which spoke a lot about her courage. She was a small woman, and they were very imposing men hellbent on protecting their little girl.

“I can appreciate your position, Miss Swan. I’m not trying to judge you,” Jasper said in a tone that implied the exact opposite of his words. “You’re used to putting your own wants first, but I’m a parent. What’s best for Katie comes first. Always. We can’t agree to let you see her until we know you’re not going to confuse her.”

Edward bristled. Jasper wasn’t speaking to Bella with anything approaching respect. He’d given Edward that much the night he and Emmett came charging into his house.

“Confuse her with what?” Bella asked, managing to look both pissed and uncertain.

“Any of this bullshit,” Emmett said, ever the hothead. “Runaway teenagers who give birth on the streets without even knowing what kind of baby they had. And you-” he gestured at Edward “-telling us you were at Stanford when Katie was born. How is it you were both down there and ended up here in Washington too? That’s a hell of a coincidence. That’s a hell of a story you want us to swallow, and I call bullshit.”

“What you need to swallow is one simple fact, Mr. McCarty,” Charlie Swan broke in, his expression livid and his hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “And as a cop, it should be a fact you’re intimately familiar with. The law has the final word. The fact of the matter is, the baby you adopted was a kidnapped child.” He held his hand up, stopping both Emmett and Jasper’s protests. “We all know that wasn’t your fault or your doing, but that’s beside the point. When a kidnapped child is found, it’s returned to the parents. Now,” he spoke over the two men’s protests, “what you two are failing to see is that neither Bella nor Edward over there is asking you to hand Katie over right now. The point is that either of them could at any given moment, and you would have no leg to stand on. So maybe you want to think about not antagonizing my daughter, because if we have to get the law involved, you will lose.”

Jasper looked at Emmett, his glare hard and accusing. To Edward’s surprise, the man seemed to shrink under his husband’s stare. His shoulders hunched inward, and he stumbled back a couple of steps as though he needed the wall to support him.

Edward felt sorry for them. He truly did. He understood their perspective entirely. They’d raised Katie from infancy. She was their daughter, and yet somehow, they were powerless to keep her, when push came to shove.

But Bella…

And he hadn’t even begun to deal with how confused he felt about the whole situation.

Jasper swallowed hard and looked back to Charlie, Edward noted, instead of Bella. “We’re not trying to keep you away from Katie. Just…” A pained look came over his face, and he bowed his head. “I’m just asking you not to confuse her until you know what you’re going to do. We told her her birth mother died, because that was what we believed. I think it’s best she doesn’t know who you are until we’re all sure what’s going to happen.”

“I think that’s fair.” Bella took a shaky breath, and looked to Emmett. “Look, despite what you may think, I’m not trying to hurt anyone, least of all Katie. Whatever paranoid theory you have, it can’t possibly be as fucked...as messed up as the truth, so can we maybe try to stick to that?”

“That’s easy to say when it’s your truth,” Emmett said.

Bella laughed, and it was a bitter sound. “Easy? Easy? Buddy, you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

Obviously looking for another target, Emmett fixed his glare on Edward next. “What about you, Mr. Cullen?” He said Edward’s last name sarcastically, addressing him pointedly as a teacher. “You’ve been awfully quiet. Where the hell are you at with all this?”

Edward’s throat tightened, and he coughed to clear it. “I think I’m the opposite side of the coin from Bella. I’ve met Katie. I know her." He took a breath through his nose to steady himself. “But I only found out a week ago I was a father at all. Bella’s never seen her, but she’s been mourning a child that was taken from her for six years. I think Bella should get to see her daughter. Other than that, I don’t know what to think or what happens next.”

Alice squeezed his hand.

“I think what happens next is we set a time for Bella to see Katie,” Charlie said. “Today.”

“Tomorrow,” Jasper countered.

Charlie was about to argue, but Bella put a hand on his arm. “No, Dad. Tomorrow’s okay.” She looked quite a bit paler than she had a moment before. “A little breathing room would be okay.”

The look Jasper pinned her with then made Edward want to punch him, though he wasn’t sure why. But Jasper tempered his expression and when he spoke, his tone was almost gentle. Almost. “You know, if you don’t want to meet her, that would be understandable. You’d be doing everyone a favor if you wanted to pretend none of this ever happened.”

Even Edward was taken aback by that comment. “What the hell?” he said at the same time Bella and Charlie started talking.

Jasper raised his voice to speak over them. “Hey, I’m just trying to be realistic here. Obviously you didn’t tell Edward you were pregnant, because the fact he had a kid was news to him. You were seventeen, and you gave birth on the street. Were you even planning to keep her?”

Bella just stared at him as though she couldn’t believe what he was saying.

“I get that you feel responsible that someone took her,” Jasper said. “Maybe you’re acting the way you think everyone expects you to, but Katie is fine. Don’t push yourself into her life just because you think it’s the right thing to do. I’m just saying, don’t feel obligated.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bella asked, her tone biting. “Obligated? You think I only want to see her because I feel obligated?"

“All I know is that if she’d been taken from us, if she was kidnapped, the second we knew where she was, we’d be there. No force on earth could stop us from getting to our daughter no matter what. You’ve known about her for two days now, and you’re still putting off seeing her.”

Bella wrapped her arms around herself, staring at Jasper with a look that was a mixture of hate and pleading. “I’ve thought about her and wanted her with me every single day for six years. I want her in my arms right now. But she won’t know me, won’t even know I wanted her, and I never, ever would have given her up. I want a few more hours so I’ll be calm when I meet her, because I don’t want to scare her. If that makes me a bad mother--”

“You’re not her mother!” Jasper snarled the words at her, his features twisting with fury. “You didn’t raise her. You didn’t make her the person she is, we did. What happened to you was horrible. No one’s saying it isn’t, but it happened. Katie is thriving. She’s got two parents who love her, and she has everything she needs. If you care about her at all, you’d leave us the hell alone instead of disrupting her whole whole world because you want a chance to play mommy.”

Charlie was up and in Jasper’s face in a heartbeat then, and Emmett too leapt up to his husband’s defense. They were three daddies, arguing and snarling and growling at each other in protection of their daughters.

Edward, on the other hand, only had eyes for Bella. Jasper’s words seemed to have had a profound effect on her. She was sitting stock-still; the color drained from her features, staring straight ahead with a look on her face that hurt Edward in the depths of his soul. He had to go to her. He was up and moving before he could even think about what he was doing.

He took Charlie’s vacated seat on the couch beside her and took her hand in both of his. She started at his touch and turned to look at him, her expression the devastated look of a woman whose every fear had been thrown in her face. Her palms were freezing cold, and Edward had to stop himself from bringing her hands to his lips to blow some warmth against her skin.

His urge to comfort and protect Bella was the only thing that made sense in his world right then. Jasper’s words had been cruel, and he could hold her hand through that. In everything else, Edward wasn’t an active participant. Technically, since he and Bella weren’t a unit, he should have been looking out for his own interests. There was Bella’s side, Jasper and Emmett’s side, and Edward’s side. He had rights that needed protecting and an opinion that deserved to be counted.

What that opinion was, Edward had no idea. Aside from his decision to track Bella down, this whole situation was happening to Edward, out of his control. He was helpless to do anything but watch as Charlie argued with Katie’s daddies. It was as though he was a child again, waiting for the adults to dictate the next part of his life.

It was Alice who finally called them all to order. She stood up, put her fingers in her mouth, and whistled to get everyone’s attention. “Sit down. All of you sit down.”

They all looked disgruntled about it, but they obeyed without question. Edward thought about giving Charlie back his seat, but Bella held on. Charlie huffed, but he sat on his daughter’s other side.

Alice nodded, satisfied. “Good. Now look. It’s pretty understandable that everyone’s upset. This whole thing is fucked up, beyond fucked up, for all of you, and it’s no one’s fault.”

Emmett scoffed, casting a glare at Bella that spoke volumes, but Alice stared him down. “Regardless of how you feel right now, you’ve all got to come to grips with this reality. This is happening, and there’s no undoing it. I think you can all agree you can all use a day to wrap your heads around this before you put Katie in the middle. I’m sure everyone wants what’s best for her; you can agree with that, right?”

“If you were really interested in what’s best for--” Emmett started, but Alice wasn’t about to lose control of the conversation.

“Enough. You’re angry. Everyone’s angry. But you don’t get to take it out on Bella or my brother. They didn’t do this to you.”

Emmett seemed to shrink in on himself with those words, his broad shoulders hunching inward.

“We agree Bella gets to meet Katie tomorrow. Accept that’s going to happen, and you’ll all figure out the next step after that. Can you agree?”

One by one, everyone nodded. Jasper was the last. “Okay. You can come to the house.” A shadow crossed his face, and he mimicked his husband’s stooped, broken pose. “Saturday mornings are quiet for us. Family time.”

“Thank you,” Bella said in a shaky whisper. Her fingers tightened around Edward’s.

Emmett stood up, furious all over again. “Are we done here?”

“For now,” Charlie said with a note of warning.

Emmett took Jasper’s hand, pulling him up. “This whole thing is fucked, and one of you is trying to pull something. Whatever. Katie is happy. You just remember you’re the ones who destroyed her life.”

He didn’t wait for anyone to argue. He pulled Jasper with him out of Edward’s apartment and slammed the door behind them.

As soon as they were gone, Bella crumpled forward, finally pulling her hand from Edward’s so she could cover her face. He couldn’t tell if she was crying, but he knew she was hurting. He put a tentative hand on her shoulder.

“Bella, what they said wasn’t true,” Charlie said, rubbing her back.

“Yes it was. At least part of it.”

“Bella--”

“I can’t deal with thinking about that right now.” Bella took a steadying breath, and when she raised her head, Edward saw she wasn’t crying. Her eyes were watery, but she wasn’t crying. She looked at him. “Can I talk to you? Alone?”

The idea made Edward nervous, but he nodded without hesitation.

Alice knew a cue when she heard one. She offered a hand to Charlie to help him up. “Come on, Charlie. You and I should get to know each other. We’re going to be great friends, I think.”

Charlie seemed reluctant to leave Bella, but he let Alice lead him to the door. “Call me if you need me,” he said to his daughter.

They’d been gone for a full five minutes before Bella spoke. “You haven’t said a word all day.”

Edward sighed. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t have any words at all, let alone ones that would help anything.”

“Do you think I’m wrong for wanting to meet her?” she asked, her voice painfully small.

“No.” This, at least, he was sure about.

“I was a seventeen-year-old liar and a runaway. I was careless, and she could have died.”

“The way you told it to me, you were desperate, alone, and scared. It’s true what they say about hindsight, you know. We’d all make better choices if we knew how everything was going to turn out, but that’s not the way the world works.

“Whatever you were, whatever mistakes you made, it doesn’t mean you deserved to have your baby taken away from you. Whatever could have happened is irrelevant. Emmett and Jasper know that too. They’re just defensive right now.”

Bella nodded. She’d started tapping her foot in a nervous twitch. She stared off, away from him, her foot tapping away for another minute before she spoke again. “I’m not going to ask you where you are with this or what you want to do. I’m not ready to deal with that yet.”

Edward couldn’t pretend he wasn’t relieved. He wouldn’t have had an answer for her, at least not yet.

“What I want to ask is if you’ll go with me to meet her,” Bella said.

Edward tilted his head to look at her. “Just us, you mean?”

Bella nodded. “I just…” She wrapped her arms around herself, rocking a bit. “One way or another, this is going to hurt Katie at some point. She’s going to be confused, and I hate that. If I can minimize that even a little bit…”

She shook her head and tried again. “I don’t know how I’m going to handle tomorrow. I don’t know how I’m going to react. I don’t know if I’m going to break down… I just don’t know. What I was thinking was that Katie knows you. She trusts you. Whatever happens, she might be more comfortable if someone she knew was there with me. Am I making sense?”

“I’m following you.”

“I was thinking it might be easier if I go as a friend of yours. I know she’s not going to know who I… who we are to her tomorrow, but we have to have some story. I’d feel better if you were there. For her.”

Though it was ridiculous, the thought of facing that tiny, sweet six-year-old scared Edward more than anything else in his memory. He’d taken an emergency leave of absence from the school, so he hadn’t seen Katie at all since they day Emmett had come barging into his apartment.

He knew exactly what had him so afraid. Science and anecdotal evidence told him he was a father, but he didn’t feel like a father. When he pictured Katie, he didn’t think of her as his daughter. She was his student. He was terrified of what would happen when she was right in front of him again.

 

What if he felt nothing?

What if he felt everything?

Both prospects were equally terrifying, but as Alice said, this was happening. There was no putting off reality.

**  
“I’ll go with you.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So that happened…
> 
> If you don’t mind doing me a favor, check the announcement at the top of the screen regarding some other writing work I’ve been doing. 
> 
> Next chapter Bella gets to meet her baby :)


	9. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: FAQ - Are we going to see Charlie's PoV? A - We're going to hear more from him next chapter, though I'm considering an outtake of what happened six years ago at some point. :)
> 
> I’ve had a frustrating few days trying to write things, so you guys get another Dreamer update. Let’s meet Katie, yes?

Bella had her legs drawn up on Edward’s passenger seat, her knees tucked against her chest in an effort to stop herself from tap, tap, tapping a hole in the floor. If Edward didn’t like that she had her feet up, he wasn’t saying so, just like he wasn’t telling her it was obnoxious to have her face pressed up against the glass. She knew she must have looked foolish, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t get over the fact her daughter had grown up in this neighborhood.

She looked out the window and imagined her little girl playing on these lawns with the other kids, imagined her walking down the sidewalk clasping Emmett and Jasper’s hands. It was an affluent neighborhood--much nicer than where Charlie lived. It was idyllic.

All the years Bella didn’t know what happened to her baby, she’d feared that if it had lived, it had grown up in squalor. Seeing the neighborhood with her own eyes, that maddening, festering wound closed--one of a million punctures in her heart.

The flip side of that coin was the new ache that had sprung to life when Edward reappeared on her doorstep. It was a hole at the center of her chest, a black abyss that was slowly sucking whatever tattered remains were left of her heart into a void.

Bella struggled to take a breath as they pulled into McCarty-Whitlock’s driveway, and she stared at the house her baby had grown up in. She wouldn’t have been able to bring Katie up like this. All Katie’s life, Bella had lived with horrendous what-if scenarios. What if her baby was being abused? Kept in darkness? What if she was getting by on scraps? It was a different kind of horrible to look around and know the people who had Katie all this time had brought her up with more than Bella was or ever could be capable of.

“Hey.” Edward reached across the console and took her trembling hand in his. “It’s going to be okay.”

She exhaled on a gust. “Is it?”

“Yeah.” He offered her a weak smile and tightened his fingers around hers. “I know you asked me to be here because I’m familiar to Katie, but I’m also on your side, Bella.” He took a shaky breath. “If it helps, I’m nervous too.”

“I don’t know if that helps, but I appreciate it.”

“Are you ready?”

Bella laughed, the sound thin. “I’ve been ready for six years… so of course not.” Bella closed her eyes briefly, willing her limbs to loosen so she could get out of this car and find her long lost baby girl. “Okay. Let’s go.”

As they came around the front of the car, Edward offered his hand, and Bella took it gratefully. She thought she could feel him shaking too, but it was hard to tell. She was shaking hard enough for the both of them. With each step, it became more and more impossible to believe this was it. She was finally going to meet her baby. She broke out in a cold sweat, her pulse thready.

Edward knocked for her, which was good, seeing as all Bella’s limbs had locked in place, freezing her solid.

“Daaaaaaaaadddddddddy! Someone’s at the door, Daddy!”

Bella’s knees went weak at the muted sound of the child’s voice. That was her baby. She was real. She was really real. She heard the pitter-patter of quick but light feet coming closer, and she held her breath.

“Katie, get away from there. Go upstairs with Poppa. I’ll get the door.”

There was a short argument Bella couldn’t quite hear. She licked her lips and swallowed convulsively, wondering if she was going to faint before the door even opened. That wasn’t the first impression she wanted to make.

Emmett must have won the argument, because when he opened the door, he was alone. His expression was tight, but his tone was civil when he invited them in.

No sooner had Edward and Bella stepped into the foyer then they heard a gasp from the top of the stairs. “Mr. Cullen. Hi!” an excited voice called. Bella looked up as a tiny girl--God, she was about as small as Tyler--started to rush down the stairs. Her eyes were bright and her smile huge as she looked at Edward.

“Katie, come back.” Jasper appeared behind her, and pulled her up into his arms. “I told you to stay put.”

“But, Poppa, it’s only Mr. Cullen.” She strained in Jasper’s arms, but he’d already retreated, disappearing down a hallway and out of sight.

Bella made a little noise of distress, and she took one step forward without realizing she was doing it. Emmett stepped in front of her, his brows furrowed, his hand out in a stopping motion.

It was too much. Seeing Katie, just glimpsing her, was too much. Whatever composure Bella had, she lost. “What are you doing? Why are you doing that?” she demanded, her voice coming out in lurches as she looked from Emmett back upstairs. “Are you trying to make her scared of me? Of us?”

“No. No.” Emmett stepped with her, as though he was blocking her from going to the stairs. “That’s not what this is about.”

“You said I could see her. You can’t do this.”

“Calm down. I swear we’re not trying to be dicks. Just listen.”

“I want to see my baby.” Bella took a step, this time toward Emmett, her hands in fists at her side. “Right now. You let me see her right now.”

“Bella.” Edward stepped between her and Emmett, startling her. He took her face in his hands. “Bella, listen, okay? Listen to me. You need to calm down.”

“He’s not going to let me see my baby. He can’t do that. He can’t. I’ll--”

“Shhhh.” Edward stroked his thumbs at her cheeks. “Emmett isn’t going to stop you from seeing her. Right, Emmett?”

“I promise that’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“Then let me go,” Bella whispered brokenly. “Let me go to her.”

Edward didn’t let her go. “You need to calm down. You’re going to scare her if you’re not calm.”

Bella closed her eyes and let him gather her into his arms where she cried softly.

“Come on. We’re just going to talk a minute, okay?” Edward didn’t let Bella go, and so they did an odd shuffle-walk into Jasper and Emmett’s living room. To his credit, Emmett was hospitable. He got Bella a glass of cold water, most of which she dropped because her hands were shaking too badly to hold it. Edward helped her sip, and she began to calm down again.

“I’m sorry,” Emmett said. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just wanted the chance to talk to you first. About what you’re going to say to her, I mean.”

Bella laughed, the sound as raw and painful as the lump in her throat. “You mean you want to know if I’m going to tell her I’m her mother.”

Emmett looked sallow, but he nodded. “Jasper and I thought it would be best if she didn’t know all the specifics until we…” He swallowed hard. “By that I mean the four of us know what’s going to happen. It’s just better, I think. We think. It’s not because we don’t want to tell her. I mean... Let’s be honest, you know I don’t want to tell her, but I know we have to. Just not yet. Not today. Kids are… it’s just not a good idea yet.”

Bella wanted to be irritated because he was talking to her as though she didn’t want what was best for Katie. But the way he was stumbling over his words softened her defenses. As much as her world was in a tailspin, she wasn’t unsympathetic to what Emmett and Jasper must be feeling. She had the power to destroy their family, and they all knew it.

“We talked about this too,” Edward said, glancing at Bella as though to ask if it was okay to speak for both of them. “As far as Katie is concerned, I’m still just her teacher, and this is my friend. We don’t have to be more than that today.”

Emmett nodded, looking relieved. “Okay.” He shifted in his seat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you want to see pictures of her? We have a million of them from the day we got her on up through yesterday.”

Bella raised her head. She knew what Emmett was doing, and she understood why. “I want to see her,” she said, her voice quiet.

His shoulders slumped, but he nodded. “Just… please don’t scare her. I know what this is to you, but she has no idea.”

“I promise I’ll let her lead.”

“Okay. Stay here.”

Emmett pushed to his feet, and a second later he was calling up from the bottom of the stairs. Bella closed her eyes, willing her heartbeat to slow as she heard Jasper and Katie coming down the stairs. The three of them had a soft conversation, and tears brimmed over, working their way past Bella’s eyelids.

“Hi, Mr. Cullen,” came a soft, almost shy voice.

Bella breathed out with a shudder and opened her eyes.

Katie was in Emmett’s arms now--she looked even tinier compared to his huge frame--with her head on his shoulder as she looked over at Edward. She was so stunningly beautiful, Bella forgot how to breathe as she looked at her.

“Hey, Katie,” Edward said, his voice unsteady.

The little girl was, for the moment, oblivious of anything except that her teacher was in the room. Bella doubted she had even seen her or registered her presence yet.  She craned away from her daddy, and Emmett set her down looking like it was the last thing he wanted to do. Katie took a few steps forward and plopped down on the ground near Edward’s feet, looking up.

“You haven’t been at school. Are you sick? Why did you come to my house? Did you visit the other kids?”

Bella spared exactly one glance at Edward, otherwise unable to take her eyes off this child, her baby, her little girl. If she’d had any room to register anything else, it might have surprised her that Edward was looking at Katie with an expression that was the epitome of what Bella felt, all awe and terror and a million conflicting things all at once.

“Um. That’s a lot of questions. I’m not sick. I needed to spend some time with my friend.” He swallowed audibly, and Bella jumped when he patted her knee. “This is my friend, Bella.”

For the first time, Katie’s eyes met Bella’s. They were brown, and her face, now that Bella was looking right at her in the flesh, was familiar. She couldn’t have explained how, but there was something in the little girl’s face that Bella simply knew.

Bella sucked in a sharp breath, hardly able to breathe, and Katie ducked her head, scooting back a bit, shy when she realized there was a stranger in the room. Jasper took a step forward, and Katie buried her face against his legs. “Hi,” she said, peeking a bit but bashful.

“H-hi,” Bella said. It took every ounce of strength she had not to fly off the couch and scoop the little girl--her baby, oh god, her baby--into her arms. Already, Bella had no idea how she was going to walk out of this house without this beautiful child who was instantly and completely an irrevocable part of her.

Jasper leaned down and pulled Katie up his body where she hid her face at his neck. He rubbed her back. “Do you want to tell Edward about what you’ve been doing in school this week?”

“Who’s Edward?”

“Edward is my name,” Edward said. “Edward Anthony Cullen. I think you can call me Edward when we’re not at school.”

Katie perked up, and she lifted her head. “Really?”

“Yeah. I think that would be okay.”

“Edward Anthony Cullen,” Katie parroted, testing the name out. She grinned.

“Yes.” Edward patted Bella’s knee making her jump again. “My friend’s name is Bella.”

“Bella Marie Swan,” Bella said. She had to swallow hard before she could speak again. “But you can call me Bella.”

She was desperate, desperate, to hear the little girl call her Mom.

“Can you say hello to Bella?” Jasper prompted her gently.

Again, Katie eyed her and again Bella’s heart skipped a beat. “Hello,” she said dutifully. “I’m Katie. Katie Elaina McCarty-Whitlock.” She pronounced each of her names with care and pride.

“That’s a very pretty name, and you’re such a pretty girl.”

Katie ducked her head again. “Thank you,” she said, peeking at Bella with one eye. “You’re very pretty too.”

Bella smiled, a huge grin as an overwhelming love and adoration swept over her. It was frightening, that love. It consumed her, took over every part of her being until she was sure she would combust. There was too much of it and only a limited amount of her.

How? How was she supposed to live with this inside her?

Bella couldn’t stop her tears. She gasped, putting a hand to her mouth as she tried to keep from flat-out sobbing.

Katie lifted her head again, furrowing her brows. “Why are you crying? Are you sad?”

“No,” Bella said quickly, wiping away her tears. “No, I’m not sad. Sometimes people cry when they’re not sad.”

“That’s true,” Katie said, looking thoughtful. “The other day, I cut my finger on a rose and I cried.” She reached down, and Jasper set her on her feet. She hurried to a toy box tucked in one corner of the room and fished out a frayed looking baby blanket. She walked back more slowly, looking at Bella somewhat uncertainly. There was still a safe distance between them when she stuck out her hand, blanket and all. “Here. This makes me feel better when I cry.”

Bella reached out and took the baby blanket with trembling fingers, wishing she could brush Katie’s hand as she did but not daring. The blanket was soft and blue, framed around the edges with a cool, silky ribbon. “Thank you, sweetheart. That’s so nice of you.”

Katie ducked her head, but she looked pleased. “That’s my very first baby blanket. I like to rub the edges.”

Since she looked so expectant, Bella took a hint and began to rub the edge of the baby blanket between her fingers. It was indeed a soft, comforting motion, and Katie nodded as though she approved. She looked up at Jasper and Emmett. “Can I play now?” she asked.

“Yeah, sugar. Go on,” Jasper said.

Bella clutched the baby blanket hard between her fingers to keep herself from calling out to the child. She didn’t want to let her go just yet, couldn’t quite understand how she could ever stand to have Katie out of her sight.

Somehow, she managed to keep quiet. Katie only ran into the next room where Bella glimpsed a bunch of miniature sized things--a counter and cabinet with a fake sink, a tool bench. She could also see a bookshelf lined with books of all sizes.

Everything a brilliant young mind would need to satisfy a limitless imagination.

“She’s amazing,” Bella whispered, looking up at Jasper and Emmett.

Those two words meant so much to her. They were her thanks, because her baby had been loved all these years. Not only loved, but it was clear, looking around the place, that she’d been cherished and doted upon. In her wildest dreams, Bella had never dared to hope that the child she never even got the chance to hold once had been so well taken care of. As much as it hurt her that she’d missed six years of her daughter’s life, how could she be anything other than grateful that these two men had given her everything she needed and more?

And yet, those two words were also filled with awe. That gorgeous creature was hers. Bella knew it in her heart and soul. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around the idea that someone so amazing could be hers, but it was true.

She was a mommy. She was this beautiful little girl’s mother.

“She’s the best thing that ever happened to us,” Emmett said, stepping over to tuck Jasper under his arm.

Looking up at them, that void at the center of Bella’s chest got deeper and wider. She could read the misery in Emmett and Jasper’s eyes as clearly as words off a page. Everything she felt in her heart, seeing her little girl for the first time, they also knew in theirs. It would be one of the hardest things she’d ever have to do to walk out of this house without her daughter; Bella already knew that. But what would it be like for Katie’s daddies to let her go?

Impossible.

Bella’s eyes filled with tears again, and she had to look away from them. She swallowed several times, trying to calm down before she burst out in sobs. She was only a hair's breadth away from being a total emotional wreck.

“I think...Do you think I can see those pictures you were talking about earlier?” she asked, not ready yet to go.

 **  
**Emmett cleared his throat, his voice thick with emotion as he spoke. “Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So that’s Katie.
> 
> Quick note regarding anyone who looked into that app I write for, Episode. First of all, thank you for your support! It concerned me, though, that some people thought you had to pay for the app. You get two tickets or whatever so you can read two episodes in one go. After that, it takes four hours for your tickets to refresh. You do have the OPTION of buying tickets ahead of time, but of course, it’s not mandatory. I’d never ask you to pay for something just to read my work! (Oh, well...unless you want to buy my books, but that’s another story hehehe).
> 
> The app does make you go through ten episodes of the beginner story (which is frustrating, I know… ten eps is excessive!). Also, my story hasn’t yet appeared on the Android app. SIGH. 
> 
> Anyway. Again, thank you for your support. I’ll let you know when the story is available on the Android platform!


	10. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yargh. It’s Monday. Again. I’m going to try to post this story every Monday because hearing from you pretty people makes me happy. My very first posting schedule.
> 
> Of course...I’ve always been horrible about schedules and deadlines...

How Edward managed to get home after they left Jasper and Emmett’s house, he didn’t know. His stomach was churning, his head pounding, and his heart just ached. Clearly, his body didn’t know how to react physically any more than Edward knew what he was supposed to do now.

 

Bella was quiet on the drive over, lost in her own thoughts, and that was a small mercy at least. If he had to talk, he felt sure he was going to freak out. It was coming anyway, inescapable, but he was trying to get safely off the road before it did. Whatever was going on in his head wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t anything approaching coherent.

 

When they pulled up in front of his condo, neither of them moved right away. Edward took a deep breath, scraping what little strength he had left off the bottom of the barrel so he could say what needed to be said. “Can we regroup tonight? I know we need to talk, figure things out, but—“

 

“Tonight. I need to…Yeah. Tonight,” Bella said.

 

They looked at each other, and he could see she was as lost and shattered as he was. There were so many questions they needed to find answers to and quickly. Five lives were about to be ripped apart, including that of a beautiful little girl who couldn’t possibly know what was about to hit her. Edward’s heart cracked like thin ice, and again he sensed he was seconds away from total destruction.

 

Luckily, Charlie came out of the condo then, followed closely by Edward’s family. Bella got out of the car and stepped to his side. They exchanged a few words, and Charlie turned to say goodbye to Edward’s parents. He and Bella were gone barely a minute later, back to their hotel to regroup.

 

Edward, meanwhile, found himself frozen, gone numb from head to toe because his brain had finally gone into overload. He had no room in his head even for automatic functions like walking and talking. He was only vaguely aware of what was happening as his mother took him by the arm and led him up the walk. Alice walked in front of them, firing questions at him, but he couldn’t process her words. He was grateful when their father hushed her.

 

His parents guided him inside and sat him down between them in the living room. As though his bones were made of sinew and little else, Edward bent forward, burying his head in his hands. He began to shake so hard his teeth rattled, and he couldn’t catch his breath. He grasped at the front of his shirt as though he could find his lungs there.

 

“Okay, son. You’re going to be okay.”

 

Hours could have passed before he realized his parents were talking to him, rubbing his back and murmuring calming words near his ear. He was getting light-headed, and for a few horrifying seconds, he was sure he was going to faint.

 

“Put your head between your knees, Edward. There you go. Good boy. Just breathe.”

 

He just breathed, and that might have been worse. As the vice-grip on his lungs eased, his gasps turned into body-wracking sobs. He was like a sick child crying because he didn’t know what else to do. Everything hurt, and it wasn’t something he would have been able to describe.

 

Eventually, though, even that eased. He was cried out and calm again. His father coaxed him to swallow a few ibuprofen, and after a few minutes, that brought the throbbing in his head to a manageable level. He laid across the couch with his head in his mother’s lap. He was so glad his family had dropped everything to be with him.  Despite the misery and confusion that plagued him, his mother's gentle fingers in his hair soothed him.

 

Edward sniffled, keeping his aching eyes closed as he found the will to speak. "I could see myself in her." He cleared his throat to try to ease the scratchy quality of his voice.  "They showed us pictures. There was one where she was three, and she was scowling at the camera. She looked like you, Dad. In that picture you have of you with Grandpa where you were pissed off. She could have been your sister."

 

"Or my granddaughter."

 

Edward opened his eyes and sat up, his elbows on his knees as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know. Maybe I just imagined it."

 

"She's your daughter, Edward," Carlisle said, sitting down beside him again. "It makes sense she looks like us."

 

"I know. It's just surreal. I saw her every day for five weeks. Why didn't I see the similarities before?"

 

"You couldn't have known to look," Esme said. "She's not the spitting image of either of you anymore than you or Alice looks exactly like us."

 

"I know, " he said again.

 

"So how do you feel about her?" Alice, sitting in front of him on the coffee table.

 

Edward's heart lurched. "I don't know what I feel. Something. And it's powerful. But I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to feel about anything."

 

"But do you want her?"

 

"You understand how weird this is, right?  She was my student. I'm not supposed to want to take my students home."

 

"She's not your student anymore. She's your daughter."

 

"I know that, Alice." He glared at his sister and rubbed his temples. "Yes, I want her, but that feels shitty on so many levels."

 

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" His mother rubbed his back.

 

Edward sighed. "I know Bella didn't see her until today, but at least she always knew she existed. She carried her. I just got told I have a six-year-old, and I don't know what I feel.

 

"What I do know is I don't look at Katie the way Emmett and Jasper do. I don't feel about her the way they do. I know she's mine, and I want to be her father. I want her with me, but Jesus Christ. What if that's just some warped sense of ownership? What if I can't love her?"

 

"You will love her, " Carlisle said.

 

"How the hell do you know?"

 

"Because there's such a thing as bonding. People like to think they fall in love with their babies in the womb, but what they're in love with then is the idea of their baby. When you’ve had a chance to get to know them after they’re born, that feeling imprints on the tangible human being. I'm sure it's the same here. You know you're her father. You'll bond with her, and you won't always feel so confused."

 

Edward rubbed a hand over his eyes and craned his head to look at his father. “Promise?” he asked in a woefully small voice. “Tell me what to do, Dad. Tell me this is the right thing to do, and I’ll believe you. Just tell me, because this is going to destroy her.” Edward choked on a sob and bowed his head again. “What right do we have to do this to her when she’s happy? She’s fine.”

 

His parents held him between them. “There’s not an easy answer here. I wish there was. You never want your children to hurt, but it’s inevitable.”

 

“Like this?” Edward shook his head. “She’s not going to understand.”

 

Esme squeezed his arm. “I know the circumstances are confusing, Edward, but what was done to you and Bella--that your child was taken from you--was a heinous thing. There’s no easy way to recover from something like that. The right thing doesn’t always feel good, my dear boy, and it certainly doesn’t always feel right.” She sniffed, close to tears herself. “You don’t know how much I wish I could make these choices for you, take this pain.”

 

Edward said nothing, but he leaned against his mother and closed his eyes again.

 

“We’re going to be here for you, Edward,” his father said, his voice promising the strength Edward didn’t have. “We’re going to be here as long as you need.”

**~0~**

That evening found everyone gathered around Edward's kitchen table. Before they could get into a family discussion, Edward went to Bella. She was sitting next to her father, her arms wrapped around herself and her posture stooped. She was defensive, and he understood why she would be.

 

"Can we talk?" he asked, making sure his tone was even. "Alone?"

 

She seemed uncertain, but she let him take her hand. He led her to his bedroom where they could have a bit of privacy, hoping she would understand hers was the only voice he wanted to hear right then. They sat on his bed, and he was glad that she didn't try to take her hand from his. The physical connection seemed important given what he had to say.

 

"Bella, I need you to know I'm not angry with you.”

 

She raised her head to meet his eyes, and he could see shame written there. "How could you not be?"

 

"Well, maybe that’s not true. I think I should be angry, and we’re probably going to have to deal with that at some point. But right now, there’s way too much else going on. I don’t know about you, but I’m overloaded with how I should be feeling and how I am feeling, so it's a moot point." Edward raised his free hand to rub the back of his neck, trying to find words that didn't sound condescending or pitying. "Right now, I think we have more important things to talk about than a past neither of us can change. Right?"

 

She nodded.

 

"Okay." He blew out a sharp breath. This the first of many, many hurdles they would face in the coming months and years. "So what I need to know is how you want to handle this. I know you want Katie, and I want her too. I would like for us to be a unit in this rather than two separate people out for our own interests, whatever those might be. It's going to be a fight to pull Katie away from her life with Emmett and Jasper. I just think it would be nice if we could present a stable, united place for her to be with us."

 

“I’d really like that, but how?”

 

“Right now I just need to know we’re going to be parents together. It’s going to take work and compromise, but I’m willing if you are.”

 

She brought her free hand up to clasp his hand between both of hers. “I’m in.”

 

Despite the gravity of the situation, he had to smile. “Damn.”

 

“What?”

 

“We’re parents.”

 

She huffed and looked down at her lap. “Yeah.”

 

He pulled her into a hug. They clung to each other, both of them a little shaky, for a few minutes in relative silence. Edward couldn’t help but be relieved. His family had been amazing, but Bella was in the same boat as he was. There was some small comfort in the idea he wasn’t alone in this crazy situation.

 

“Okay,” he said when they couldn’t delay any longer. He stepped back, but he kept her hand in his. “We should get back to them. There’s a lot to talk about.”

 

They sat back at the table, side by side now with Charlie on her other side.

 

“All right,” Carlisle said, taking control of the table. “So let’s see if we can tackle this one problem at a time. The legalities of getting Katie are a foregone conclusion. She’s yours, so let’s put that to the side for the moment. Correct me if I’m off base, but I think the biggest problem you have right now is simple geography. Bella, you live in Olympia. Neither you nor Edward has the room to take in a child.”

 

He held a hand out to Esme, and she took it, silently supporting him. Carlisle looked back, eyeing Edward and Bella in turn. “We’d like to make you an offer. We’d like to rent you a three bedroom apartment or a condo. Whatever works. Something here in Seattle, near Katie and Edward’s school.”

 

Bella jolted in her seat. “What? That’s… I can’t…”

 

Carlisle offered her a gentle smile. “It’s not a hardship, dear. My son has always chosen to pay his own way as much as possible, so I know this isn’t his first choice either. However, this is an extenuating circumstance. You two are going to face so many incredible challenges. If we can alleviate one, I sincerely hope you’ll let us.”

 

Bella’s brows were drawn together, shock still plain on her face. “But...my job…”

 

“I can help you while you look for work here,” Charlie said.

 

“Dad, I can’t ask you to do that.”

 

“You’re not asking me. Carlisle is right. You’re going to have more than enough to deal with. Take help where you can get it, kid.”

 

The look Bella gave her father was the wide-eyed expression of a frightened child. “But to be away from you and the kids?” she said more to herself than him.

 

“It’s an hour drive. I’ll be here every weekend as long as you need me.”

 

“You can’t be away from the kids every weekend.”

 

“We’ll figure it out, Bells.”

 

She took a deep breath and nodded, squaring her shoulders, visibly summoning her bravery. “Okay. Yeah.” She looked at Edward’s father. “That makes sense, and it’s very kind of you. I’ll start looking for work.”

 

Edward squeezed her arm. This was so much for both of them to handle, but he couldn’t imagine giving up his home, his livelihood, and his support system too.

 

“Good,” Carlisle said. “That’s settled. Now, let’s talk about lawyers. Katie is yours, but it’s always good to have someone protecting your interests…”

**~0~**

By the end of the night, Edward’s head was pounding again. He was alone in the kitchen, his family having absconded with Bella for the moment.

 

It really wasn’t a surprise when Charlie reappeared and sat across from him. Tired as he was, he made an effort to sit up straight, nodding with respect.

 

“I’m going to tell you a story,” Charlie said after a few seconds. “A little over six years ago, I got a phone call from the hospital in Port Angeles. They said that my daughter had been admitted, which was an interesting thing to hear because at the time I got the call, I was sitting across from my three-year-old daughter, the only daughter I thought I had, and she was definitely not in the hospital.

 

“As you might imagine, I was confused. They told me my daughter had begged them to call me and not her mother. They said her name was Isabella Higginbotham, and I did recognize that last name. I remembered the girl I had been with for a few weeks. The math added up, so I went to Port Angeles to see what the hell was going on.”

 

The look on Charlie’s face was pained. He wasn’t looking at Edward, but staring off at nothing in particular, obviously lost in his memories. “What I found in Port Angeles was a traumatized, seventeen-year-old girl, weak as a newborn kitten because she’d lost so much blood and had just gone through seven kinds of hell. She was skin and bones. Beat up and half out of her mind with grief. And she looked like that girl I knew so many years ago except she had my eyes.” He huffed. “The color, anyway. There was no life in her eyes when I found her. All I knew was she was my little girl and someone had hurt her. Badly.”

 

Edward’s throat was tight, his fists clenched beneath the table as he listened.

 

“The things that girl had been through…” Charlie shook his head, his voice tight and his jaw tense. “She lived with a man who was capable of beating up a kid who was nine months pregnant and a mother who let him, let’s put it that way. And they weren’t the only ones who got their hands on her, who hurt her, before she lost the only thing she was living for.”

 

At this, Charlie finally looked at Edward, and his eyes were fierce, burning. “Now, you seem like a nice kid, a good man, but this situation would be trying for anyone. You’ve got a reason to be upset with her, but I want you to realize, she’s lived through things you can’t even imagine. She’s worked so damn hard to get where she is after all the shit she’s had to endure. You have your own battles to fight, so I’m asking you for one thing.” Charlie pointed at him. “Don’t be the next one to push her down.”

 

Edward’s heart was pounding fast and his throat was sandpaper as he stared back at Charlie.

  
“I won’t,” he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to Ginny for all her insight. To songster, packy 2.0, myonlyheroin, and barburella for making my docs such a wonderful place to be in. 
> 
> Goals for this week are STILL Trouble and Oblivious--both of which are being stubborn as FRICKEDY FRACK--with a chance of Long Distance. Have a good week, dear ones.


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oye. I don’t know about this habit I’m getting into about using my updates to regulate my frustrations. HEY, it’s better than binge eating, right? You guys and your feedback are my drug, baby.
> 
> That being said...I’ve been told this is a very hard chapter, and I know for a fact some of you are going to yell at me. Here we go.

Edward had often heard that some things in life were like being on a roller coaster. Now, he understood the comparison. This whole situation was exactly like being on a roller coaster… if you were also plagued with anxiety issues. There was that feeling of claustrophobia as the restraints came down, and then, when the car started to move, the knowledge that he couldn’t get out--not in the middle of the ride. Then the painfully slow climb to the top of the highest peak, each click of machinery ominous as it pulled him forward against his will. The too-long moment of trepidation right before the release and then the fear and adrenaline of the fall making his stomach churn.

 

That was exactly what his life felt like--like he wanted desperately for time to slow, to stop, to let him get out and breathe. It wasn’t that he didn’t want what was at the end of the ride. He had a fairy tale vision that made his heart ache with want of Katie running to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, giggling with joy and calling him Daddy. He wanted that, but not like this. He felt as though if he were only allowed to get off the damn coaster, free of the restraints, if he could only think clearly, he might be able to find a smoother route--one without so many stomach-churning dips. Really, he could do without the adrenaline rush, thank you very much.

 

His eyes strayed from his task to Bella, across the room. If only…

 

If she’d told him she was pregnant, their road wouldn’t have been smooth, but it wouldn’t have been this. As much as the rational part of him knew it wasn’t as simple as all that, there was resentment in his heart. He hated how much of his life was undefined, how he had to give up his home, what he was going to do about his job was uncertain. He hated that he’d have to convince his six-year-old daughter that he was her daddy. He hated that he was confused about how he felt about the little girl, even if he believed his father when he said that would change. He’d always wanted a family, but not like this.

 

Now wasn’t the time to deal with any of that. It was moving day, and there were way too many people packed in Bella’s tiny apartment. Talk about claustrophobia.

 

Bella had painfully little in her apartment, painfully little to her name. But what she had was precious to her. Edward was beginning to realize just how hard earned it all was. That was why, when Alice began to mutter about how they didn’t need two couches, and Edward’s furniture was much newer, he shut her up before Bella could hear her.

 

As he taped up the boxes, Edward watched Bella with her family. When they first knew each other, she’d mentioned a mother and stepfather. She hadn’t said much about them, only nodded in agreement when Edward asked if her mother was paying for her schooling. Obviously, that had been a lie.

 

He had so many questions, so many blank spaces to fill in when it came to this girl, this woman. She’d been the one that got away, the one he hadn’t realized was in his blood and under his skin until she’d disappeared from his life. The tiny part of him that had room to think about such things had almost managed to convince the rest of him that the girl he knew was a figment of fiction. It was all a lie. It was easy to think that when she’d only ever been scared, defensive, or upset in his presence since he’d shown up on her doorstep.

 

Bella, when she was with her siblings, was much lighter, much more like the girl he remembered. The kids had been assigned the task of packing up Bella’s bookshelf. Predictably, they each became much more interested in flipping through the books rather than packing them. With gentle Angela, Bella chatted about American Girl and the Babysitter's Club books she’d found in a thrift store when she was her age. She and Mike bent their heads together, snickering and sharing Bella’s dark humor when he found her Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books. When he used the front of the book--a macabre, frightening looking skull--to scare Tyler, Bella picked the boy up and soothed him by making him laugh, so he forgot his fear in a heartbeat.

 

When Edward went over to them, Bella’s smile got tighter. She ducked her head, looking at him only furtively. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” he said, bashful and awkward for reasons he couldn’t quite figure. “Need some help?”

 

“Um, sure. Ty packed that box,” she said, her smile wide again as she pointed. “Maybe you could fit a few more things in it?”

 

Edward peeked in the box and saw what had her so amused. Tyler’s idea of packing apparently consisted of throwing a few books in there haphazardly. “I’m on it,” he said.

 

The kids, who had been observing them with curiosity, ganged up on him after a minute.

 

“Are you Bella’s boyfriend?” Angela asked, her pretty face the picture of innocence.

 

“They’re living together, aren’t they? And they had a baby,” Mike said, giving Edward the hairy eyeball.

 

“But they’re gonna have different rooms. I heard them say.”

 

“Are you nice?” Tyler said, looking at Edward warily. “Daddy said brothers and sisters should look out for each other, so if you’re not nice, you better watch out!”

 

“O-kay.” Bella put her hand over Tyler’s mouth, drawing him onto her lap. “Guys, take it down a notch.”

 

Edward’s lip twitched in amusement, and he looked at Bella, winking at her to remind her he was used to dealing with children. He looked at Tyler first, because he knew his question was actually the most important. Angela and Mike had to be wondering the same thing. He could see they loved their big sister. “I think I’m nice. At least I try very hard not to be mean.”

 

"And I'm not Bella's boyfriend." He looked over to Bella, speaking carefully. "Not right now, but I was." This wasn't strictly true, but they were children. Edits came with the territory. "When we both lived in California."

 

"Bella lived with bad people in California," Angela said.

 

"I didn't know about that."

 

Mike huffed. "You were her boyfriend, and you didn't know her stepdad was hurting her?"

 

Edward felt a twinge of guilt at that. He remembered seeing bruises on her. On her arms, her legs. He couldn't remember the excuses she gave, or if he even asked. He remembered when they were together--it had only been five times--there was a bruise just below her breastbone. He'd kissed her there, kissing it better.

 

If only.

 

"Mikey," Bella said, her voice soft. "My life was full of really bad things in California." Her cheeks tinged pink, and she was looking anywhere but at him. "Edward was the only good thing. Life doesn't always make sense, little brother."

 

Some minutes later, in the hustle and bustle of people moving in and out of the house, Edward and Bella shared one quiet moment. "I'm glad you found them, Bella," he said. "Your family, I mean. They're protective. The boys take after your dad a lot that way."

 

Bella's lips quirked upward, though she didn't look at him. "Don't let Angela fool you. She's a gentle soul, but if she thought you were an asshole, she'd be after you in a heartbeat."

 

"I don't doubt that."

 

She sighed and looked up, meeting his eyes. "I didn't lie about my name, you know."

 

"What?"

 

"My name, when I met you. Higginbotham was my mom's maiden name. It was my name all my life." She looked away from him, her expression pinched. "They were good to me when I didn't deserve it. All of them. It took me a while to believe they could want me, but they did. When I turned twenty, my dad asked what I wanted for my birthday, and I said I wanted to be a Swan. That's what he gave me that year. His name."

 

"Bella, dear? Is this worth keeping?"

 

Edward started as his mother came wandering out of Bella's room with a shoebox full of truly random items. It looked like junk, but Bella grinned.

 

"All the things the kids gave me," she said. "Mikey and Angela. When they were tiny."

 

Esme put the lid back on and put the shoebox in a larger box. "Definitely worth keeping."

~0~

Bella couldn't stop wringing her hands. She wanted so badly to be stoic, calm. Not for herself. She'd grown up knowing she was a mess; that wasn't a surprise, but it wasn't okay. Not right now.

 

Why, Jesus god, why was her first act as a mother to do this to her baby girl? To tell her that she’d been kidnapped and ripped away from the first person who’d ever loved her? To tell her that setting that right would hurt? When Tyler was born, Bella had been only too eager to get up with him in the middle of the night. How she'd dreamed of doing that for her own child, being the one to hold her and feed her. She'd have done anything for her baby, would do anything now.

 

Would Katie ever let Bella hold her?

 

Edward, sitting beside her, put his hand on his knee palm up in an offer. Despite the fact her palm was probably sweaty with nerves Bella took his hand. She squeezed him. He squeezed back. It hurt. Neither of them cared.

 

Across from them, on the larger couch, Jasper sat, alone for the moment. He wasn't looking at them, wasn't crying, but it was very clear he had been. His eyes were bloodshot, but then, all of theirs were. He looked gaunt somehow, sickly.

 

When they heard Emmett’s step on the stair, Bella gulped, and Jasper closed his eyes, his lips moving as though he were praying for strength. He straightened up as Emmett came in the room with Katie in his arms. She was clinging to his neck, the look on her face wary.

 

Mike and Angela were like that when they were little, Bella remembered. Tyler was like that now. It was as though small children were able to sense the mood in the air. She did raise her head from his shoulder when she saw Edward and Bella. She started to smile, and both Bella and Edward did their best to smile back. It must not have worked though, because Katie knitted her brow. “Am I in trouble at school?” she asked in a tiny voice.

 

“No,” all four of them said.

 

Emmett sighed and walked to the couch. He settled Katie between him and Jasper. Then they both slid off the couch onto the floor on their knees so the could look up at her. “Okay, baby,” Emmett said, his large hand at her side. “Just remember no one is mad at you, okay? No one here did anything wrong, and you don’t have to be afraid.”

 

Katie’s lower lip began to tremble, but she took a deep breath visibly calming herself as she looked down at her daddies. Brave little thing, Bella thought, adding that characteristic to her knowledge bank. It was strange, this notion of soaking up everything she could about Katie while simultaneously dreading what they were about to do to the little girl’s life.

 

“You know when we did the genetics tests at your school a few weeks ago?” Jasper said, his voice tight with emotion.

 

Katie brightened somewhat. “Oh, yes. That was a lot of tests.”

 

“And you remember we talked about how you could be related to anyone, and I always run the tests you take against your genes to check?”

 

“Uh huh.” Again, Katie’s expression brightened. “Does someone have genes like me?”

 

Bella wanted to smile. Katie was so eager and curious, but she knew what was coming. She knew, with all likelihood, they were about to turn her daughter’s excitement into something else entirely.

 

“Yes, sugar.” Jasper swallowed hard. “What we found out, actually, is that Edward is… He’s your father, sweetheart.”

 

Beside Bella, Edward took a shaky breath. His hand in hers shook, and she clasped it tighter.

 

Katie’s eyes went wide, and she looked from her daddies to Edward and back again. She didn’t speak.

 

“I need you to listen, baby, because he told us some things we didn’t know before,” Emmett said. “And it might be a little scary for you to hear, but you’re safe. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.”

 

“Okay,” Katie said in a tiny, quaking voice. She was looking down now, not looking at anyone, as though she were too scared to look in Edward’s direction.

 

“See, the lady who had you, the lady who got sick and died...we thought she was your mother.” Emmett had to swallow several times before he could continue. “But she wasn’t. When you were just a little baby, before you could remember things, that lady did a bad thing. She took you away from your real mother. She stole you.”

 

Katie’s lower lip began to tremble, and she took in sharp breaths. Both Emmett and Jasper got to their feet and sat again beside her on the couch. She turned toward Jasper, burying her head against his side.

 

“You know she died, baby. She can’t get you. No one is going to hurt you,” Jasper said, both he and Emmett stroking her back and hair. “You understand that, right?”

 

“It’s scary,” Katie said plaintively, but she sniffed, calming again. “I don’t remember.”

 

“You were little. It was when you were new,” Emmett explained again. “You remember how small you were in your very first pictures with us?”

 

“Uh huh.”

 

“It was way before that.”

 

Katie sniffled again and she peeked at him. “I don’t remember being a baby.”

 

“No, and that’s okay. But what I’m trying to tell you is, you were stolen away from your mother and father. They’ve been looking for you all this time.” His voice cracked, and he put a hand to his lips.

 

Jasper cupped her cheek, tilting her head up to him, effectively distracting her from the fact her big, strong daddy was about to start crying his eyes out. “Katie. Bella is your mother.”

 

Bella held her breath. For three of the longest seconds, there was a terrible silence in the room. She wondered if she should say something, but Katie wasn’t looking at her, and Edward wasn’t speaking up either.

 

Then, Katie began to cry. It was soft at first but quickly escalated to sobs that wracked her little body. She stood up on the couch and wrapped her arms around Emmett’s neck, babbling something that Bella couldn’t understand in between hysterical gasps. Emmett gathered her close, and Jasper stood up, turning to Edward and Bella.

 

“She wants you to leave,” he said. His voice was soft, but there was a no-nonsense edge that hinted that the idea wasn’t a suggestion.

 

Bella swallowed hard, jittery, her eyes tearing up as she and Edward stood. “Why is she crying? Does she--”

 

“She’s overwhelmed. She’s just overwhelmed,” Jasper said.

 

That made sense, of course. Hadn’t Bella fainted dead away? And now that Jasper said it, she could tell the way Katie was crying wasn’t a normal child’s cry. Overwhelmed was better than a lot of other reasons she could be crying, but it still shattered Bella’s heart.

 

“Can we please have some time with her alone?” Jasper asked. Again, his tone spoke volumes. Bella wouldn’t have put it past him to haul them out of his house with his bare hands if they refused.

 

But they’d already agreed to this. When they discussed with Marcus how to tell Katie, they’d agreed all four of them would be there in case she had questions. In the eventuality she got too scared or confused at Edward and Bella’s presence, they’d agreed Jasper and Emmett could talk to her alone.

 

In Marcus’s conference room, it had been easy to say she would do it. In reality, Bella didn’t want to leave her child sobbing and scared. She wanted to be the one to comfort her and reassure her.

 

“Come on, Bella,” Edward said, tugging her hand. His voice was raw and wrecked. “We can sit in the car a while.”

 

She let him pull her away, though every step she took made her own tears worse. She was ready to sob herself by the time they got to the door. She wasn’t the only one either. As she turned around, she could see tears on Edward’s cheeks, too.

 

It was Jasper she looked to, though. There were tears in his eyes, but also a ferocity, a kind of hatred. All this time she’d tried so hard to be understanding. Now she was terrified of leaving. “Please don’t make her hate us,” she said, her voice cracking. “Please.”

 

“If you tell her to hate us, she will,” Edward said, his voice pleading, too. “You can make her hate us and make her more scared. Please don’t do that.”

 

In this, Jasper and Emmett had all the power, and they all knew it.

 

Jasper’s eyes narrowed, and his breath was ragged. He wanted to tell Katie just those things. Bella could see it in his eyes. He wanted to go back in that house and tell his baby girl that it was their fault--Bella and Edward’s--that this was happening, that she was scared and confused. He wanted to tell her that they were the kidnappers, and they would steal her away.

 

“Poppa! Poppa!” Katie called clearly, and Bella whimpered. She was needy for her daddies. That made sense too, but it did hurt.

 

Jasper breathed in through his nose, stepping forward so that they had to take that final step out of the house. “Let us calm her down,” he said, and he slammed the door in their faces.

 

Bella didn’t miss that he made no promises. She turned toward Edward, trembling too hard to keep herself upright. He wrapped his arms around her, shaking just as much, and they sunk down onto the porch together. They rocked together, tangled up as tightly as possible, crying quiet tears.

 

For minutes, it seemed impossible to breathe and impossible to believe any happiness could come out of this. For the millionth time, Bella wondered if she was doing the right thing. Would it be better to walk away?

 

She couldn’t. She couldn’t. She was physically incapable. The thought alone was debilitatingly painful. To actually go through with it would have struck her dead before she took two steps.

 

After a few minutes, it was a little easier to breathe. Slightly. Her poor, battered heart. She’d lived with a broken heart and perforated lungs for years. Days like this, seeing Katie’s confusion, were only adding to the mess of stab wounds. The other wounds, though, were old and scarred. These were fresh, raw, bleeding.

 

But these wounds were different than the ones she’d suffered before. Before, she’d been both wounded and desolate. The first step was done and over with. Katie knew she had a mother and father who wanted her. This was the bad part--the re-breaking of bones so they could mend right, so they could piece their family back together.

  
Now that the first step was taken, she had hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oye. 
> 
> How are you, my darlings?


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I gift you with...uh… angst?
> 
> Anyway. I want to make it clear that there are no legal authorities involved in this case at this time. No police involvement other than, I’m sure, whatever paperwork is required to close a missing persons case and to dissolve an illegal adoption. In cases like these, the authorities don’t step in unless they have to, and all parties are cooperating (some of them are pissed off about it, granted ;) but they’re all in agreement about what’s happening ).
> 
> I realize it’s easy to see this whole situation as a custody battle waiting to happen, but that is NOT the story I’m trying to tell. No one is FIGHTING for anyone.
> 
> That being said - this chapter is told from Jasper’s PoV...which will be interesting, because I know half of you hate him. Let’s take a look.

After Katie had cried herself into exhaustion, Jasper left her side only long enough to ask Edward and Bella to give them space. He promised them he and Emmett would talk to Katie as soon as she was calmer, and they would call if they were needed.

“Un-fucking-likely,” Jasper muttered to himself as he hurried back into the house, eager to get back to his family.

His family had relocated, but Jasper knew where to find them. He took the stairs two at a time, in no mood to be away from his daughter. He found her in the master bedroom, fast asleep on Emmett’s chest. He climbed onto the bed with them, resting a hand on Katie’s back, so he could feel the rise and fall of her breath. Her head was turned toward him, her cheeks splotchy and tear streaked. He traced the shape of her pouty lips and tried not to start crying again.

A montage of memories flashed across his vision as he tried to memorize this moment. They all looked similar--this bed with his husband and daughter. The memories ran backward like a rewind.

The last year or so, Katie had a habit of climbing into their bed on Saturday mornings. She lay on her back between them and twisted her legs into various odd positions as she talked. She chatted about whatever struck her fancy--genetics, the kids in her class, what her favorite cartoon characters had gotten into that week and what they might be doing right that very minute.

It was in this bed, when Katie was four and noticed most of her friends had mommies, that they explained what adoption was and how they came to be her daddies. “You’re our daughter, our baby,” Jasper remembered telling her. “Always and forever,” he’d promised.

Further back, he remembered how trying it had been when she was a hyperactive toddler. As soon as she was in a big girl bed, Katie would come into their room way too early in the morning. She was restless and relentless, bouncing around their big bed and climbing over their bodies as though they were her personal playground. Jasper remembered more than once, he’d pulled the comforter over his head, far too tired to make good on his threats to take her back to her room. But even when he was annoyed, he almost always took a moment to treasure Katie’s high-pitched, baby girl giggles.

Even further than that was one of his most precious memories. The day they signed the adoption papers, when they got home, they ended up in this bed. They curled up together, their six-month-old daughter sleeping between them, a real family for the very first time.

He’d met Emmett’s eyes, and they’d both grinned so wide it was a wonder their cheeks didn’t split. They’d known going in that adopting through the foster system could be heartbreaking. The system did all it could to keep children within their biological families. Many other foster parents had to suffer the agony of giving a child they’d loved for months or even years back to their parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles. But this baby girl. This girl was theirs. Their daughter.

Emmett’s eyes had shone with tears of unbridled happiness. “We’re daddies,” he’d whispered.

Jasper had twined their fingers together, resting their joined hands on Katie’s roly-poly baby belly. In his other hand, he clutched the birth certificate that listed baby Jane Doe’s name as Katie Elaina McCarty-Whitlock and named them as her parents.

Now that birth certificate was null and void. There was a new one, Jasper knew. He hadn’t seen it, but he knew exactly what it said. Katie Elaina Cullen, born July 1st--over three weeks before their original estimation. Hell, she wasn’t even a Leo anymore. Mother: Bella Marie Swan. Father: Edward Anthony Cullen. There was no room there for the two men who had raised her from infancy; no sign they even existed except that Edward and Bella had kept the name Jasper and Emmett had decided on.

Officially, legally, they weren’t daddies anymore.

“This sucks,” Emmett muttered, his voice rough.

Jasper didn’t need to look up to know he was crying again, too. He rested his arm over Katie’s back, touching Emmett’s side. Finally, he convinced himself to look away from their daughter. He opened his mouth, but he had no words. Not for this.

This was the beginning of the end. Soon there would be no new memories of being here like this; a family of three tucked together in the same bed. When Katie woke up, they’d have to try to explain that soon she would live somewhere else, away from them, and they were supposed to feel lucky that they could be beloved uncles.

Despite his efforts, Jasper’s eyes brimmed over with tears. He scooted closer to Emmett, resting his head on his shoulder and hugging his two most important people as close as they could. He wished with everything inside him that he didn’t have to let this go.

~0~

It was hard to say how Katie was processing what she’d been told. A gifted child’s mind was a conundrum. Mentally, she was advanced, which meant she understood some concepts that would have gone over the heads of most children her age. Emotionally, though, she was still a six-year-old child. Maybe her thought process was slightly more concrete, but that didn’t mean she had the words to say what she was feeling.

She was clingier than normal, but Jasper had expected that much. He hadn’t expected the sucker punch to the gut when she asked repeatedly if he and Emmett still loved her. Beyond that, she’d been unnaturally quiet and moody. She’d thrown a fit the likes of which neither of them had ever seen when they took her to school like normal that morning.

“I don’t like my teacher,” she had claimed, speaking of the woman who had taken Edward’s place permanently in her class.

As near as Jasper figured after questioning her about it, Katie was mistrustful of teachers in general at the moment. Maybe she needed someone to blame for all this confusion, and she’d chosen the person who, to her mind, had been most deceptive. Despite the fact she had technically been testing for this very possibility, she was angriest at Edward for turning out to be her biological father when he was supposed to be her teacher.

But they wanted to keep things as normal as possible for her, so they’d dropped her off anyway. “How was she?” Emmett asked the teacher when they arrived to pick her up.

The teachers all knew what was going on. It was one of a million meetings Jasper resented having to sit in on--explaining to the staff what they wanted and what they thought Katie needed. He was glad, of course, that everyone was doing their best to make this as easy as possible on his little girl, but he hated that it was happening at all.

Ms. Ontiveros gave them a tight smile. “She was okay. She was a little uneasy whenever the children switched classes. I think she didn’t want to see Mr. Cullen in the hallway. And you’re right. She seems to be angry at me, but she was obedient. She followed instructions; she just didn’t speak to me or answer any questions. I didn’t push her today.”

“Thank you,” Jasper said, and he went inside the classroom to call Katie to him.

They were settled in the car, and Jasper didn’t miss that Katie wasn’t herself. She was usually eager to talk about her day, but she was quiet as they started for home.

Jasper cleared his throat. “Katie, your…” He had to swallow hard and try again. “Your mom and dad are coming over tonight.”

He heard Katie gasp, and when he turned in his seat, he saw she looked frightened. “I don’t want to go with them tonight.”

“No. No, sugar. You’re not going home with them tonight. Remember we talked about this? They want to get to know you first, and that will take a while.”

She gulped several times--such a brave little girl--and looked at him with watery eyes. “How many sleeps?”

“You mean how many sleeps until they take you to your new home?”

“Yes,” she said, her voice wavering.

“All the fucking sleeps,” Emmett muttered under his breath, gripping the steering wheel and glaring at the road ahead.

“A lot, sugar. A lot of sleeps.” He knew his daughter. She liked numbers. Usually, when something was about to happen, she liked to cross sleeps off her calendar and count the days remaining. “There’s nothing set in stone. You know this is a unique situation, right?”

“It’s not normal,” she said. At other times, her solemn tone would have been funny. “You said sometimes kids get adopted because the people who made them didn’t make good mommies and daddies.”

“Yes, that’s right. That’s what happened with your friend Peter.”

“The mommy and daddy who made him did a bad thing,” she said.

“Yes.”

“But my mommy and daddy aren’t bad.”

Jasper pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth. He remembered Edward begging him not to make Katie hate them. “No, sugar. Your mommy and daddy didn’t do anything wrong. You were stolen from them. You should--” He had to suck in a deep breath because it would have been less painful to stab a knife into his own heart. “You shouldn’t have ever have been up for adoption.”

Emmett reached across the console to take his hand.

She was quiet for a minute before she spoke again. “Do you think they love me?”

Not like Daddy and I do. Not like us. They don’t know you. They can’t possibly love everything you are. “Yes, Katie. They love you very much. They never stopped loving you.”

~0~

It killed Jasper to see Katie so subdued. His pretty little space cadet was staring off, her expression far away. That was typical. What wasn’t was the look on her face. She was anything but serene, and he doubted her thoughts were pleasant daydreams at present. Her brows were furrowed, her mouth set in a slight pout.

Before he could go to her, the doorbell rang. Katie snapped out of her distraction in an instant. In the time it took her to scramble to her feet, Jasper was already over to her. He lifted her up, and she wound her skinny arms around him in a stranglehold, burying her face in his neck. He closed his eyes, splaying his hand over her back.

“It’s okay, sugar,” he whispered against her hair, kissing the top of her head. It was a lie that burned in the back of his throat. None of this was okay. There was no part of him that wanted to open the door and let this whole process start.

Emmett too was glaring in the direction of the door. He met Jasper’s eyes. “No last minute reprieve, I guess,” he said.

It was in Emmett’s nature to joke even at the worst of times. This was the first time in Jasper’s memory that his words fell flat. It was only what they’d both been hoping--that some miracle would stop this all from happening.

Once upon a time, Jasper’s biggest fear was the day he and Emmett would have to tell Katie how her biological mother had died. He’d harbored some nightmares that she’d want to search for her biological father, but always, he’d known the odds were against that ever happening. This? This wasn’t a scenario he ever could have imagined.

Another knock came, and Emmett blew out a long breath, visibly summoning every ounce of courage he had. He walked toward the door as though he was walking to the guillotine.

It was awkward. Of course it was awkward. The atmosphere was downright oppressive. Edward and Bella were nervous and uncertain. Jasper was well aware he and Emmett were radiating tension. For Katie’s sake, they were trying their hardest to keep things light, but they were only human. The most they could do was keep a handle on the worst of their agony and anger. It was too much to expect them to pretend they wanted to make easy conversation with the people who would ultimately take their daughter away.

So conversation was stilted at best, mostly centered around dinner. They were going to have pizza, which should have been a treat for Katie, but when they asked her to help choose toppings, she wouldn’t look up or answer. She clung to Jasper tightly, her breath hot against his neck.

“How about onions?” Jasper asked, bouncing her in his arms, trying to tease her. “You love onions, right?”

That drew a disgruntled noise out of Katie. She hated onions with the kind of passion only small children were capable of. Emmett and Jasper loved them on everything and frequently delighted in grossing her out, pretending to put them in her food.

“Ugh, onions are gross,” Bella said, wrinkling her nose. Her eyes went wide, and Jasper could tell it was an automatic reaction; not something she’d meant to say out loud.

Katie rolled her head the slightest bit, peeking at Bella. “I hate onions,” she said in a barely audible voice.

Bella smiled as though this tiny similarity was everything to her. Jasper tried his best not to grimace. Some part of him didn’t want Bella and Edward to find any connection to Katie, vindictive as that was.

“I only like onions in soup,” Edward said.

Katie turned her head, hiding again. “No onions,” she mumbled.

They settled in the living room, which also should have been a treat to Katie. Predictably, when the pizza arrived, no one was hungry. Katie had wedged herself between Jasper and Emmett on the couch, wrapped in the armor of her baby blanket. She took a couple bites at their prompting, but otherwise she was unnaturally still. Katie wasn’t a hyper child, but even when they watched TV, she was typically doing something else--coloring, playing with her Legos or her toys.

As uncomfortable as the atmosphere was, Jasper was glad Edward and Bella weren’t forcing interaction. They were keeping their promise to go at Katie’s pace, though Jasper wasn’t oblivious to the fact they kept looking at her. The Little Mermaid was on TV, but he was sure no one was watching it. It was natural for them to look, he knew, though it made him defensive. It wasn’t like they were creepers, though Jasper had the same impulse to scoop Katie up and get her as far away from them as he could.

It took him a while to figure out that Katie was glancing back at them. And that wouldn’t have been surprising really except that Jasper realized Katie and Bella were playing a game.

No. They weren’t playing. They were doing that thing where neither one of them seemed to want the other to realize they were staring. They kept glancing at each other and glancing away quickly when they realized the other had caught them.

It was almost the end of the movie when Katie sat up straight, looking right at Bella. “Do you have other kids?” The instant she asked, she ducked again, hiding behind Jasper.

Bella started. “Me?”

Katie made a soft, exasperated sound that only Jasper heard as her head was turned against his side. She peered up again. “Yeah. Are you someone else’s mommy?”

“I...No. Just…” Bella swallowed, trying to smile. “Just yours.”

“If you’re my mommy, why did you let a bad lady take me when I was a baby? Babies are supposed to be watched extra special good.”

Bella reared back as though she had been slapped. The blood drained from her face, and tears came to her eyes.

“That wasn’t B… your mother’s fault, Katie,” Edward said, his voice soft. “She--”

Katie lifted her head again, and Jasper was startled to see she was glaring. “If you’re my daddy and you were looking for me all this time, why didn’t you tell me at school? Why were you my teacher? Teachers aren’t the same as daddies.”

Now it was Edward’s turn to look as though he’d been punched. Bella reached out, automatically taking his hand--an interesting tidbit Jasper filed away to think about later. Edward swallowed hard. “You were new when the bad lady took you. Brand new babies look very different from big girls like you. I didn’t recognize you.”

Katie grunted and hid again at Jasper’s side.

“I think it’s close to bedtime,” Emmett said, and Jasper was relieved. He was drained. He wanted to be alone with his husband and daughter again. He wanted to forget all this was happening for a few hours.

~0~

In the hour and a half from the time Edward and Bella left to the time Emmett and Jasper put Katie to bed, she hadn’t said a word. She nodded or shook her head at their questions, but she didn’t say anything out loud.

“Daddies?” she said, her voice small and shaky, calling them back just before they left her room.

Emmett and Jasper each sat back down on her bed. “Yeah, baby?” Emmett asked, smoothing her hair back.

She worried her lip between her teeth for a few more moments before she looked at them. “Do you like my mommy and daddy?”

They both winced. That wasn't a question they wanted to answer because, hell no, they didn't like Edward and Bella. Most days, Jasper got pretty damn close to hating them.

“Yeah, baby,” Emmett said, the words coming out thick and wrong to Jasper’s ears. “We like them. They’re nice people. You liked Edward when he was your teacher, remember?”

She scowled but then took a deep breath as though she was trying not to cry. “Do I have three daddies?”

And there it was. The worst question.

For a time, when this all began, Emmett and Jasper had hoped Edward and Bella would consider joint custody. But while they were both eager to keep Emmett and Jasper in Katie’s life, they all agreed it was conducive to Katie’s new reality to make a clean break. Emmett and Jasper weren’t her parents anymore. They wouldn’t be legally responsible for her, and it would be easier for her to understand the situation if the language was clear. Kidnapped children didn’t have four parents--they had two.

It took a considerable amount of strength for Jasper not to react Katie’s words as much as they were a knife to the heart; twisting, twisting, twisting deeper. Emmett opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Jasper closed his eyes, counted to ten in his head, and reminded himself that he needed to say these things for her sake. She would be happy again, content with her biological parents. It didn’t matter that the words were ash and poison in his mouth; he needed to say them for Katie’s sake. “You have one daddy. Edward is your daddy.” He had to stop and swallow hard, watching as Katie’s lower lip began to tremble. His voice was shaky. Close to cracking. “But it’s okay, sugar. It’s fine. You remember how we talked about how some people make a family in their hearts instead of by blood?”

Emmett turned his face away, and Jasper was sure he was crying again. Katie nodded, her eyes glassy as she looked up at him.

“All that’s happening is we’re putting together a new family. Da--” Jasper closed his eyes. Everything in him was screaming. He couldn’t say these words. He couldn’t. They were the blackest kind of blasphemy, and he was sure they would kill him right there. “Emmett. Emmett and I are going to be your uncles. You know what that means?”

Katie shook her head the slightest bit, sniffling.

“It means we’re still going to be here for you. You’re going to see us all the time. When you have plays and exhibits at school, we’re going to be there.” His voice cracked, but he took Katie’s hands, and kept going because he needed her to understand this. Some desperate part of him wanted to beg and plead with her not to forget them, because he couldn’t say that wasn’t one of his greatest fears. “You can still come help me at work sometimes. And Emmett and I are still going to love you. Nothing in the world could change that.”

She sat up, struggling to throw off her blankets, and flung her arms around his neck. Jasper rocked her, hiding his tears against her hair. He felt Emmett’s wide arms around them both, and they all rocked together.

“Can I sleep with you?” Katie asked.

 **  
**“Yes,” both Jasper and Emmett answered together. Jasper was glad. He’d wanted nothing more than to never have to let her go again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope all you mothers are having a great day. Much love to you!


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, everyone! Happy Friday.
> 
> Yeah, okay. I suck at schedules. Whatever. I’m having trouble with the Trouble chapter, and it’s frustrating me. Do me a favor and throw good vibes this way, yeah? Yeah. Okay.
> 
> That being said… *holds your hand*

The last straw was his empty clothes hamper. Not only was his hamper empty, but his clothes had been laundered and put away.

Most people would be thrilled, especially after a long day, not have to do laundry. Edward wasn’t one of those people, at least not today. Today he was frustrated and bitter--two very useless, maddening emotions. The way Edward typically dealt with useless, maddening emotions was to go on a cleaning rampage.

His house was pristine. The floors were swept or vacuumed. The shelves and tables were dusted. His laundry was done, and he was pretty sure the bathrooms had been cleaned too, even though they didn’t need it yet.

“Dinner’s ready,” Bella called up the stairs, and Edward’s blood boiled.

He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to push away the irrational anger. Breathing out in one gust, Edward headed down the stairs. He started to step toward the kitchen intending to help, but then he stopped. Everything was already on the table. Two glasses of water. Napkins. Plates. Utensils. Rice, pork chops, and Bella was already coming out of the kitchen with a salad.

He sat down with a huff and had to work at a small smile. "Everything smells great."

Truth be told, he hadn't eaten this well since he had his mother and father to cook for him. Everything she made was delicious. She'd told him once she'd taken up cooking as a hobby when she was living in her father's house with nothing to do but try to get better.

"Thanks," she said, sitting across from him.

They lapsed into an awkward silence. In the weeks since they'd moved in here, between his parents--who had rented an apartment in Seattle for the duration--and her father, they were rarely alone, and so they were still straddling the line between strangers and… whatever the hell they were supposed to be.

Edward sighed as reached for his water. His movements were jerkier than he wanted, and he ended up knocking over the glass. It fell to the floor; the spectacular crash and splash especially loud in the quiet room.

Bella got up at the same time he did. "I'll get it," she said, already stooping to pick up the shattered bits of glass. He stooped with her and grabbed her wrist a lot rougher than he meant to. She gasped.

"I spilled it; I'll get it." He let her go, wondering with the fuck was wrong with him.

Bella still reached for the glass. "I can help."

"I don't fucking want you to help!" He moved to block her hand, glaring at her. "I'm so fucking sick of this little housewife routine. You're not my fucking housewife. I can cook. I can clean up my messes, and I can wash my own fucking clothes."

He pushed to his feet, heading for the kitchen and the dustpan. He knew he needed to calm down, but Bella was hot on his heels.

"What the hell is your problem right now?"

"I don't have a problem," he said, leaning into the supply closet to grab the broom. He came up short when he turned around to find her standing right behind him. "Can you watch where you're going?" he snapped, brushing past her.

"Yeah, I'll watch where I'm going, when you tell me why the hell you're acting like an asshole," she said, following him back out to the table.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Okay, fine. How about I tell you straight." She reached out, touching his arm so he had to to stop. "Don't grab me like that again. You don't get to manhandle me when you're pissed."

He stared at her, taken aback. This was the Bella who had yelled at him that first night, when she thought he was there to torture her about the daughter she'd feared was dead. Since she'd found out her daughter was alive, Bella had reminded him of a frightened puppy dog cowering in the corner, coming out only tentatively. He couldn’t blame her, of course. This whole situation brought out anything but bravery. This Bella, on the other hand, was a tattered pit bull that had survived on the streets, scarred from alley fights and tough as nails.

It caught his attention, like she’d always been able to catch his attention, and tonight, that pissed him off. “Don’t be melodramatic,” he said, throwing her hand off with a roll of his shoulders. “You think this whole shitstorm needs more drama?”

He started to sweep up the glass, water and all. She stood near him, hands on her hips, and didn’t leave him alone. “What the hell is going on here? What’s your problem?”

Edward threw the broom and dustpan--glass and all-- at the wall. The cacophony of glass was so satisfying he picked up her glass of water from the table and hurled that at the wall too. She jumped, and for some reason, that made him vindictively pleased. He was so angry he didn’t know what to do with himself, and seeing her calm and stoic had only pissed him off more.

“You want to know what my fucking problem is? My problem is I’m teaching third graders when I want to be teaching first graders. I’m dependent on my parents again. I’m living with a total stranger and, oh yeah, I have a six-year-old daughter who needs to be angry at someone, and she’s chosen me. She’ll talk to you. She’s getting better with you, but she doesn’t like me at all.”

Bella flinched. The look on her face, as though she’d been struck, should have been enough to get him to back off. He didn’t want to hurt her. He really didn’t. He knew. He knew damn well she’d been hurt more than enough for one lifetime, and hadn’t he promised her father he would think about that before he did just this?

But he was too angry. Every insecurity, every resentment he’d felt in the last month and a half came flying out. “It’s not your fault, right?” he asked, his tone scathing. “That’s what we keep telling Katie. It’s no one’s fault. All five of us are victims of some asshole woman who left you to die so she could play mommy. Except what we don’t tell her, what we don’t say, is that there was no fucking reason for you to be out there--alone. There was no fucking reason for any of it. Your mom and your stepfather sound like sadistic assholes. Why the hell would you go to them and not me?”

“Fuck you,” she said and turned away from him.

He grabbed her by the arm, spinning her back, and she shoved him hard. “I told you not to touch me!” She stumbled backward a few steps, glaring at him, her eyes full of tears but the look in them fierce with hate. “What do you want from me, huh? Yeah, I can see it would have been a great idea to tell you I was pregnant back then.” She turned away from him with a scoff. “That’s exactly what I needed. More people to hate me.”

“If your mother and stepfather hated you so goddamned much, why the hell did you stay with them so long? Who the hell stays with assholes? If you’d run when you were three months pregnant instead of nine, none of this would have happened.”

She spun around again, her eyes narrowed. “You know, you and my dad and anyone who knows this fucking story like to remind me my mother is an asshole. And that’s great. That’s fine. That might be true, but you know what else she is? She’s also my fucking mother. And she loved me. She was a shitty mother, but she was the only mother I had. There were some happy times, okay, and fucking excuse me if I thought maybe, just maybe, this could have been one of them. Babies change people. You hear it all the time. They make criminals go straight and drug addicts go clean. They’re tiny little miracle workers. That’s what I wanted to believe when I was seventeen years old. It was stupid and naive and… just stupid, but I wanted my goddamned mother.”

By then, tears were streaming down her face, and Edward’s anger had dwindled to a simmer. Really, really, he didn’t want to hurt her. If only he wasn’t aching himself, looking for someone to pin his frustration on. He huffed. “Bella--”

“No. Shut up. You want to hear this story, you think I owe it to you, fine, but you shut the fuck up.” She yanked her chair out and sat down at the table. After a few seconds, he sat across from her.

She was staring straight ahead at nothing; her cheeks flushed, eyes vacant and glassy, and her hands clenched on the table. “It was a cycle. I know that now. Tension builds--that was when everything was horrible in the house, when I was walking on eggshells, when I couldn’t do anything right. That was when they were both screaming at me, telling me what an ungrateful, stupid bitch I was. That was when I kept pissing my stepfather off. I was too stupid and too… bad. I knew something was going to happen, and it always did. Always.”

Edward’s stomach churned, but he kept silent. As horrible as it was to hear, this was knowledge he’d craved, and she’d told him to shut up.

Bella swallowed hard. “After… whatever, things would be okay for a little bit. My mom...when it happened, she always said I deserved it, deserved whatever I got, but afterward she was nice for a while.” She scoffed. “They call it the honeymoon phase in therapy. It’s part of the cycle of abuse. It’s what keeps abuse victims complacent--the good times. She was a good mom for a bit, and things were okay.

“When I got pregnant, after I… When I told you…”

“After you lied to me and left,” he said flatly, not wanting to think about that. It was too confusing to be bitter and feel sorry for someone all at once.

Bella’s eyes flashed to his. She nodded, and looked away again, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I hid the pregnancy for a long time, as long as I could. Six months, I think. Somewhere around there. But then--”

She sucked in a breath, as though she’d been punched in the gut. Her hands clenched into fists on the table. “Okay. I… my stepfather… I guess what you have to know is that he had a bunch of asshole friends over a lot of the time. His friends were… handsy.” She huffed. “My mother always said I must have been egging them on. I don’t know. I think I believed her.”

“Bella--”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” she blurted. “I’m only telling you so you’ll understand the next part. Because one of his friends had his hands on me. I was trying to get away from him. He was trying to put his hands up my shirt, and he felt it.”

White hot rage burned through him. It was terrible--one more impotent emotion he couldn’t do a damn thing about now--but it had the effect of turning the heat down on his anger at her. Again.

“Anyway. When she found out, my mom thought it was one of my stepfather’s friends who had done it. They never got as far as raping me, but she didn’t know that. I think on some level she understood what they were doing to me better than I did. She knew she should have been protecting me, and after she figured out I was pregnant, she tried, to some extent anyway. She would tell me about how things would be better. I’d have the baby, and she’d help me.

“I kept waiting for her to help me. I mean… she kept James--my stepfather--off my back for a while. But when I asked her for help with figuring out doctors, getting to the doctor, buying things for the baby, she put me off. She’d say things like if I was feeling fine, there was no need to rush out to the doctor. And of course we’d get things for the baby, but we had time for that.

“Then she started getting angry again, talking about how I was a bitch and a whore. She worked so hard to feed me, and now I wanted things like doctors and a crib. And then James started hitting me again. Little things at first. He’d grab me or slap me, and that was nothing compared to what he used to do.”

Edward pushed back from the table, the scrape of the chair across the floor grating in the quiet room. Bella flinched, and Edward turned away, pacing to the window, staring out, needing to expel some of this useless energy roiling inside him.

“The last time he beat me was bad, but the thing that got me to actually leave was that he didn’t give a shit that he’d kicked me more than once on my side. I kept screaming that he was going to hurt the baby, and he didn’t care. It only made him hit me harder. And I realized that was how it was always going to be. I thought about him doing all those things to my baby--my tiny baby--and I couldn’t stay anymore.”

Bella sighed. “Maybe I should have run to you, but you were this dream, this fantasy that I’d told myself over and over and over again for months I couldn’t have. When I ran, I didn’t think about you. I ran to a girl I knew, but her parents called my mom, so I ran again. I wasn’t really thinking about anything except I had to get away, get where they couldn’t reach me, because if I didn’t, James would hurt me again. Or Mom would convince me it could all be better, and I’d believe her. I’d believe her, and then James would hurt my baby.”

Her words snuffed the last of his anger out, and Edward hung his head. His throat was tight, and his mouth dry. What the hell had he thought he was doing adding to her heartache when there was more than enough to go around?

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracked and raw. “I didn’t mean any of those things I said.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn’t.” He turned around and walked back to the table, sitting down next to her instead of across from her. She drew back, as though getting as far away from him as she could while she was still on the chair, but she didn’t leave, and she wasn’t looking at him like she hated him. “I really didn’t. Those weren’t things I wanted to say.”

“They were things you’ve thought.”

“Yeah. I’m only human, Bella. My daughter. Our little girl. She doesn’t trust you yet, and she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“No.” Edward bowed his head, but his lips quirked briefly up. The last few visits, Katie had begun to interact with him in spite of herself. She did it almost by accident, answering his questions or going to show him something she was playing with before she remembered she was supposed to be pissed at him. And really, she was displacing. They--Emmett and Jasper--had figured out she was really angry at herself, because she’d been the one who played the genetics game. She’d been the one fascinated by the fact she could be related to anyone.

In reality, since she thought her biological mother was dead, she’d been searching for her biological father all along without realizing what that meant. She was pissed as hell now that she’d caught him, and she was displacing her anger.

Maybe his daughter was more like him than he’d thought.

“No, she doesn’t hate me, and I do believe things will be okay in the end.” He rubbed his eyes, suddenly very tired. “It’s just the getting there. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. We’re supposed to be partners in this.”

“But we’re strangers,” she said, finishing his thought.

He was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out if there was any point to saying what he was thinking out loud. But then, he thought of how much it must have cost her to tell him about her stepfather, her mother, and why she’d willingly chosen to stay with monsters over telling him he was going to be a father. That was a lot to cop to, and he could give her this much. “Are we strangers? I know we’re both different. We’ve changed, but we’re not that different, are we?”

“I lied to you.”

“About going to school at Stanford.”

“And about my age.” Her eyes were sharp on him, so she caught his grimace before he smoothed out his features. “You wouldn’t have liked the real me. You wouldn’t have even given the real me the time of day, let alone talked to me.”

You talked to me, and I loved you for it, she’d said.

“I’m not going to pretend it’s comfortable to think I got you pregnant when you were sixteen or barely seventeen,” he said, frowning. “But even that is beside the point now. The point is you didn’t make up the way we were together. You made me think. You made me happy.”

She ducked her head, but she didn’t argue.

“Bella, haven’t you ever wondered how I ended up in Seattle?”

She peered at him. “You applied a lot of places, you said. You got a job here.”

“Yeah, but I also got a job in Chicago where my family lives. And why did I apply here at all?” He reached out to touch her hand, and she didn’t pull away. “Do you remember when we were… friends we used to talk about your father?”

She looked down again, but there was a smile playing at her lips. “I think you were more obsessed with the idea he existed than I was.”

Edward didn’t think that was true. Even then, he’d thought that Bella was in denial about how curious she was about her father, but now wasn’t the time to bring that up. “Yeah. The one thing you did know, except that your mother said he was nice, was that he probably lived in Washington.”

She looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes. “You looked up Forks because you didn’t believe there could really be a town called that.”

A tremor went through him at the memory. They’d been stretched out side by side on his bed, his laptop in front of them. He remembered he’d never been so aware of another human being. She was warm, and she smelled good. He remembered how much he wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss her, to have her body underneath him.

When he spoke again, his voice was gruff. “I wanted to take you here. To Washington, I mean. I wanted to walk on First Beach and go to the top of the Space Needle. I used to think about it all the time.”

As he spoke, her eyes grew wider. “Really?”

“Yeah.” He raised a hand, briefly pressing the pad of his thumb to her chin before dropping it back down to his lap. “I cared for you. You weren’t the only one who used to daydream.”

She was quiet a moment, looking at her hands before she spoke. “And now you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Yeah. That’s what this was all about. You not hating me.”

He ran his hand over his eyes. “I could never hate you. Not then, and especially not now. You're my daughter’s mother. Even if you were the most malicious person on the planet, hating you wouldn’t be an option, but that’s just semantics.” He reached for her hand again, and he wasn’t surprised when she pulled away, pulling them off the table and onto her lap. He sighed. “The things I said were stupid, and I especially shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. That was what made you angry, wasn’t it? The grabbing.”

She shrugged. “I knew you were in a mood. Once upon a time moods like that didn’t end well for me. You were making me nervous, and when you grabbed me, it was either get pissed or get scared.” She looked up at him, pinning him with a fierce look. “I’m never going to be scared like that again in my life.”

It was a warning and a threat. He nodded. “It’s not going to happen again. It was a bad moment.”

She turned her head, looking out the window. “That I understand.” When she turned back, her look was gentler and more uncertain. “The therapy helps, you know. Anger is harder to control than you think.”

He chuffed, but he nodded. “You’re right. I’ve been putting it off for too long.” Besides couples therapy to help them learn how to best help their daughter transition, Edward had been the only one of the four adults not to start therapy. Obviously that wasn’t going to fly.

Bella gave him a tentative smile, as though she was surprised he’d been so receptive. “I am sorry, you know. I’m sorry we all have to go through this because I made such stupid choices.”

He knew that, of course. He knew damn well no one blamed Bella more than she blamed herself. But she’d been a kid, an abused child who hadn’t understood she had options. A mother and father were supposed to love their children unconditionally. If they couldn’t, why should anyone else so much as care about her? She didn’t dare hope Edward would care for her if her mother couldn’t, so she’d run for the one variable in her own private math equation.

It wasn’t her fault. It all made sense in the warped mess that had been her reality in the time. Every choice she’d made in that vacuum was rational. “I forgive you,” he said. He’d forgiven her a long time ago for everything. It was just hard to say it out loud because he was wounded, and of everyone, he got to express that the least. Still, he said it because he knew she needed to hear it. Sure enough, she closed her eyes, and a single tear dropped from the corner of her eyelashes. “Do you forgive me for the things I said?”

When she opened her eyes, the look he saw there was conflicted, but the corners of her lips turned up in a small smile. She sniffled. “I think I can forgive you. Just maybe not tonight.”

“That’s more than fair.” He looked around the table, at the now-cold meal. “Are you hungry?”

Her expression turned rueful, and she shook her head.

He sighed. “Yeah. Me either.”

She started to grab for the dishes, ready to put them away, but he held his hand out in a stopping motion. “Why don’t you let me?” he asked.

Her lips turned ever so slightly downward. “I’m not playing pretend, you know. Being a housewife isn’t really something I want for myself. I’m just trying to be productive, to bring something to the table.”

“I know that. I’d imagine it’s frustrating to be looking for work when you already had a job. Just let me this once. It helps me clear my head.”

At that, the storm in her eyes calmed. “I get that.”

Bella retreated to her room, and Edward set about the business of cleaning up the table. It had the desired effect of draining some of the terrible energy that itched under his skin. It calmed the maddening frustration that he couldn’t make any of this right with a snap of his fingers.

As much as that whole conversation had just sucked, Edward was relieved. The tension of the words they hadn’t been saying to each other had dissipated. Yeah, he wished like hell it had come out differently, but regardless, it was out. Now they could deal with it, and with luck, they could move forward. They could become what they would be to each other.

What the hell that was, what he wanted it to be, Edward still had no clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay guys. Real quick personal note.
> 
> To everyone who has supported my original fiction, thank you! :) I can’t tell you how much all your support, fanfiction or original fiction, means to me. 
> 
> If you have read any of my books, if I might implore you to leave a review on Amazon. It’s really important to small-time authors like me. Some venues won’t even think about letting me advertise unless i have a certain amount of reviews. Links to my books are in my profile.
> 
> Anyway. Enough of that. I’m making it my goal to update every one of my stories and finish Oblivious by the time I leave on Saturday. I’m going on a cruise. :D Since it’s in Alaska, I’m hoping to manage a few updates from sea, but ya know, I might be too busy ogling whales. 
> 
> Thanks again for all your support. Mwah!


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m sitting here at work with hardcore vacationitis. I was going to update this tomorrow before I leave, but I think I’ll finish Oblivious before I get on the plane instead. I’m in such a fabulous mood! Vacation is looming, and Fic Sisters wrote a great review of Finding Purgatory for me. Oh, and it’s Friday. And payday!
> 
> This chapter made me very hungry to write. Fair warning.

On their first outing away from Emmett and Jasper’s presence, Katie was grumpy. She didn't protest, but she was sullen and quiet. Bella glanced at her in the rearview mirror, watched her staring out the window, and wondered what was going on in that head of hers.

She looked over at Edward to see he too was watching their daughter in the mirror when he pulled up to a stoplight. She reached across the console, touching his arm. His eyes met hers. They smiled at each other, and the weight on Bella's heart lightened. She brushed her fingertips over his knuckles. They were both tired and heartsore, but they were in this together.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to El Pollo Loco, Katie?" Bella asked, feeling brave enough to try teasing.

Katie's head snapped forward, and she narrowed her eyes. "You said we were going to McDonald's."

Bella's lip twitched. "Okay. McDonald's it is." She reached back and squeezed Katie's foot. Katie huffed, but she didn't pull away.

Edward looked over to Bella and winked, a smile playing at his lips.

When they pulled into a parking space, Katie got herself out of her car seat. She was a good girl and waited, letting Bella take her hand so they could cross the street. Bella closed her eyes briefly before they started walking.

Every once in a while, she could pretend that they were what they were supposed to be--a mother and daughter who had known each other all Katie's life.

Katie let go of her hand when they were safely to the door. She darted into McDonald's when Edward opened the door and waited with an impatient pout for them to catch up.

Edward squatted down to her level. "Do you want to go out and play?" he asked, pointing to the play area with his chin.

Katie studiously stared downward and shook her head.

He sighed and nodded, standing. They got in line.

"What a beautiful little girl you are," the woman in front of them cooed.

Katie stared at her for a moment and then lunged at Bella. She wrapped her arms around Bella's waist, hiding her head at the small of her back. Apparently, shyness trumped moodiness.

The stranger grinned. "What a doll."

Stunned by her daughter's first embrace, Bella couldn't answer. She moved as though in slow motion, reaching behind her to pet Katie's hair.

Edward touched her side and cleared his throat. "Thank you," he said to the woman.

They shuffled forward, Katie still plastered against Bella. She was still so stunned, she stared dumbly at the cashier when he asked for their order.

Smiling now, Edward spoke for them. He asked Katie if she still wanted a hamburger and she nodded in response, her nose still pressed into Bella's back. She was so hidden, the cashier couldn't immediately see her gender.

"Do you want a boy or girl's toy?" he asked.

Katie made the most hilarious sigh of exasperation Bella had ever heard, and she peered around Bella's side. "Toys don't have a gender."

All three of them stared at her. Katie took a step to the side, still glaring at the cashier. "What toys do you have?"

He obliged her by showing her, and she chose the car toy. They paid and went to go sit down. Bella sighed, stroking Katie's hair once before she was out of arm's reach again. "Are you sure you don't want to play?" she asked.

Katie shook her head.

Luckily, the food was ready quickly. Edward set Katie's Happy Meal in front of her, and she set about disassembling it. They tried to engage her, and while she would shake her head yes or no in acknowledgement, she wouldn't really answer. She didn’t say much of anything until she took the first tiny bite of her burger. Her brows knitted, and she pushed the burger away from her with a huff, slumping back in her seat with her arms folded.

“What’s wrong?” Edward asked. “Does it taste funny?”

The scowl she leveled at him was almost malevolent. “This is not how I like my burgers.”

“I ordered all of our lunch without onions,” Edward said.

She looked at him as though she clearly thought he was the dumbest person on the planet. “I don’t like pickles. My Daddies know that. They’ve always known that. You’re my daddy, and you should know things like what your baby likes to eat, and it’s not gross pickles. I don’t think you’re a very good daddy.”

“Katie,” Bella said in a shocked undertone.

Katie’s glare softened into uncertainty as she looked between her parents. “Well!” she said, and hunkered down even further in the booth.

Bella reacted automatically, years of dealing with her sibling’s childish squabbles kicking in before she could think. “That wasn’t a nice thing to say, and you hurt your daddy’s feelings.”

The little girl looked uncertain, but her eyes narrowed. Her shoulders heaved. "I'm very mad right now. Marcus said it was okay to be mad."

"He's right. It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to be rude. Emmett and Jasper know all the things you like because they learned them over time. We’re all learning things about each other. I know that’s frustrating, but we shouldn’t be mean to each other."

Katie glared. Bella crossed her arms and stared right back. "I think you should say you're sorry."

The little girl's lower lip trembled, and she looked down. Bella's stomach twisted. She hated being the one to make her daughter look like that. She wanted more than anything for Katie's life to be all happiness from here on out. She wanted to see her smile.

Edward put a hand on her knee and squeezed in quiet support. Apparently, he thought she was doing well, and that heartened her a bit.

Katie took a breath and looked up at Edward, her eyes full of tears, though she wasn’t crying. "I'm sorry,” she said in a small voice and then looked back down at the table.

“Thank you. I forgive you.” Edward reached out, gently wiping the tears that had spilled over away. “Would it be okay if I took the pickles off your hamburger?”

Her lower lip jutting out, Katie just nodded.

“Have you ever tried dipping your hamburger or your fries in barbeque sauce?” Edward asked as he moved her pickles to his box.

Katie said nothing.

Edward put her hamburger back on the wrapper in front of her. “You should try it. It’s really good,” he said, his tone nonchalant. He cleared his throat and looked up at Bella, telling her with his eyes to play along. “You know what I was thinking?”

“What?” she asked. She wasn’t hungry anymore, but for Katie’s sake, she ate a fry anyway, dipping it in the barbeque sauce Edward had left at the center of the table.

“I was thinking there were some things I don’t know about you.”

Bella tilted her head, looking at him. “What do you want to know?”

“Well...how about your favorite color?”

“Brown,” Bella said, and waited for the inevitable fall out.

Sure enough, Edward’s nose wrinkled. “Brown? Who likes brown?”

“Exactly. Brown gets a bad wrap. It’s the underdog, and for no good reason. Brown is the color of earth. What’s so plain about that? And you know what? When people split up their M&M's by color, brown is always picked last. Awesome. More candy for me.”

Edward’s lips quirked up in a genuine grin. “Wow. That is a very nuanced argument in favor of the color brown.”

Bella’s lip quirked. “Well, what’s your favorite color?”

“Blue. For no other reason than it’s pretty. I’m shallow like that.”

Bella couldn’t help but wonder if the fact she was wearing a dark blue shirt had anything to do with his choice. Even as she pushed the thought away as ridiculous and self-centered, she blushed.

Edward glanced over at Katie. “What about you, Katie? What’s your favorite color?”

She shrugged, but she was looking up now, her expression curious.

“Okay.” Edward looked back to Bella. “Are you a dog or a cat person?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had a pet. I think kittens are funny because they’ll climb you with their teeny tiny claws.”

“Ah, yeah. I have to admit, I’m guilty of sharing too many cat videos on social media,” Edward said.

Bella was struck then by a wave of deja vu. Though the conversation was meant to be trivial, Edward had always given her the impression her words were valuable and worth listening to; like he was taking this conversation seriously even though it was light-hearted.

She looked down, concentrating on eating for a moment rather than letting herself think about the past. “You know, this is really good,” Bella said, dipping another fry in the barbeque sauce.

Edward grinned at her. “Ketchup is overrated when you can have McDonald’s barbeque sauce. Though, in a pinch, the sweet and sour sauce works well.”

“There’s a sweet and sour sauce?”

He clucked his tongue. “Oh, man. McDonald’s knows how to do sauces, okay? Not only is there a sweet and sour sauce, but you also have chipotle barbeque, sweet chili, honey mustard, hot mustard, habanero ranch, creamy ranch, and spicy buffalo.” He sat back in his seat with a teasingly arrogant smirk. “They’re all good sauces. Barbeque is just the best.”

“I don’t know if we should take the word of a guy who would get a chicken sandwich when he could have a burger, should we, Katie?” Bella asked, glancing at her daughter.

Katie looked up, seeming surprised that Bella would ask. She shrugged uncertainly. Still not ready to talk.

Well, that was okay. Bella stood. “I’m going to try for myself.”

She went and asked for one of every sauce they had, not even rolling her eyes when they did the chintzy thing and charged her ten cents each. Back at the table, she set each one out methodically and opened them. “Okay. Here goes nothing.”

They dipped, discussing the merits of each sauce. Katie watched them, the curiosity on her face growing the more they talked. Bella had to fight a smile of triumph when she darted her hand out, dipping a fry into the barbeque sauce. She hesitated a moment before taking a bite.

“So what’s the verdict?” Edward asked, having obviously witnessed the small miracle as well.

Katie wrinkled her nose--a stunning replica of the face Edward had made just minutes before. “Verdict like when bad guys go to court?”

It took Bella a minute to remember Emmett was a police officer. She probably had only ever heard that word in association with criminals.

“In this case, it means what do you think?” Edward said.

“Oh. I like it.” And as if to prove it, she dipped her fry again.

“I think I like the sweet chili the best,” Bella said.

Katie looked between her and Edward. “I like barbeque.” She took a careful bite of her hamburger, chewed, and swallowed. “And I like red M&M’s.”

“That’s good. If we buy a bag of M&M’s, I can have all the brown ones, Daddy can have the blue ones, and you can have the red ones.”

She saw Katie look momentarily perplexed at the word Daddy, but she didn’t comment on it out loud. “How about yellow and orange?”

“I guess we’ll have to split those.”

“It’s too bad there’s not another color,” Katie said. “Like purple. I like purple.”

“Purple’s cool,” Bella said. Never in her life could she have imagined that having a conversation with a six-year-old could make her so unbearably happy. She looked over at Edward, and they shared a smile. It wasn’t the first time they’d had a good interaction, but given that Katie had been so grumpy when they drove off with her, it was more than they’d dare to hope today.

“Hmm. How about more questions,” Edward said. “What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?”

“Waffles,” Katie said.

“With butter and syrup or whipped cream?”

“With syrup. Whipped cream is for desserts.”

“Oh, of course you’re right.” Edward nodded, the picture of seriousness.

Katie’s eyes lit up. “But strawberries on your waffles is the best. Or bananas.”

“That does sound tasty. ”

“What’s your favorite breakfast?” she asked him.

“Grits.”

Katie screwed up her nose in confusion. “What’s that? It sounds yucky.”

“Have you had Cream of Wheat?”

Katie nodded.

“It’s kind of like that. It’s really good with butter and a bit of honey.” Edward shrugged. “It’s comfort food.”

“Oh. Okay.” Katie looked to Bella. “What’s your favorite breakfast?”

“An omelette. With cheese, meat, mushrooms, and tomato.”

“But no onions,” Katie said.

“No. Blargh. Onions.” Bella made an exaggerated shudder that drew a little giggle from Katie.

Oh, Bella wanted to make her baby girl laugh as often as possible. It was such a beautiful sound, she almost cried.

“Okay. How about breakfast protein. Are you sausage or bacon girls?” Edward asked.

“Bacon,” Bella and Katie said together.

“Me too,” Edward said, beaming at them. “Well, it’s a good thing we’re already eating. Otherwise this conversation would make me really hungry.”

“We can still have dessert,” Katie said with a hopeful note.

“That’s a good plan if ever I heard of one. What do you like?”

Katie tapped her lips, looking between them. “I think we should get cookies, because we can get three, and then we’ll all have one.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you.” Edward took two dollars out of his wallet and handed it to her. “Do you want to go get it for us?”

Again, Katie perked up. She took the two dollars and hopped down to the floor. “What kind?”

“Chocolate chip,” Edward said and looked to Bella.

“Chocolate chip sounds good,” she said.

“Me too. I’ll get chocolate chip,” Katie said, and she scampered off to the register to order.

Bella and Edward both watched her. Edward put his hand on the table, palm up, and Bella rested her hand in his. He twined their fingers together, and they squeezed each other tightly.

~0~

The drive back to Emmett and Jasper’s house wasn’t nearly so oppressive as the drive away had been. Katie was in a much better mood. Bella glanced in the rearview mirror, watching her as she stared out the window, a faraway but mellow look on her face.

Still, she hated this part--the end of the visit. Every single time she walked away from her baby, the twist in her heart and gut was excruciating. It didn’t matter if it had been a good visit or a bad visit--they’d had both--she still wanted Katie in her arms, in her home, with her.

She glanced over at Edward and saw he was, again, looking at Katie as often as the drive would allow. Home with them, she amended in her head. They were a team. Partners. Days like today, it was easier to believe everything would all work out.

When they pulled into the driveway, Jasper and Emmett came out of the house. Katie unbuckled herself, waiting impatiently for Bella to release her from the backseat. As soon as she did, the little girl ran up and hopped into Emmett’s waiting arms. She hugged him and then Jasper tightly before she looked back to Edward and Bella.

Bella wanted a hug. She wanted a hug more than she wanted almost anything else except to take her baby home. She crossed her arms, comforted slightly when Edward came to stand beside her, his hand at the small of her back.

Katie laid her head on Emmett’s shoulder, but she smiled at Edward and Bella. “Thank you for taking me out.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Edward said. “We’re going to the park after school on Monday. Remember?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

 **  
**When they got back in the car, Katie waved at them enthusiastically, still smiling. Despite the agony of having to leave her child behind again, Bella smiled and waved back, warm straight through to her bones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My girls make my work better - songster, barburella, Packy 2.0, jessypt, and MyOnlyHeroin. 
> 
> And you guys. Have I told you lately that I love you? Because it’s true!
> 
> How are you feeling?


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ermagawd. My brain took a vacation on vacation. I didn’t write ANYTHING except postcards. Which is really weird for me. Usually I start getting really anxious if I don’t write. I guess I was adequately distracted this time around. :) 
> 
> Anyway. This was already ready, so here we go! By Proxy is up next!

“Edward?”

Edward looked away from the mirror, surprised to find Bella peering in the door to his room. “Hey,” he said, turning to face her. “What’s up?”

She stepped into the room, her expression apologetic, and Edward’s breath caught. The dress she was wearing struck him. It was strange. It wasn't even remotely revealing. It was a relic from a time when showing an elbow would have been risque. It was a beautiful, elegant number, and even though it hung off her form oddly, there was something becoming about it.

"There are a million buttons on this," she said, gesturing to the dress. "Can you help?"

"Of course." He stepped to her side as she turned around. Again, his breath caught. The dress was open all the way down the back to just above her ass. He swallowed hard as he pulled both sides of the fabric together and began buttoning. "Wow. Obviously the woman who originally owned this dress had lady servants to dress her."

"Can you imagine? Wait, does that make you my lady servant?"

“See, I knew I should have bought the French maid uniform.”

They both chuckled, and Bella sighed. "It'd be impossible to get into this myself. I just don't twist that way."

Edward's fingers fumbled. Each of the buttons was tiny and delicate. The fabric was old. It felt fragile, and he took special care not to rip it.

Despite his concentration, his eyes kept straying, following the line of her spine. The backs of his knuckles brushed her soft skin. He'd be lying if he said he didn't think about this, about seeing and touching any part of her that wasn't typically clothed.

The handful of times they'd been together physically had been quick, impromptu moments. They were two college kids who enjoyed each other's company and shared an electric attraction; it was no surprise it had happened. But the last time, mere days before she came to tell him she was leaving, had been different.

Tanya was gone that night, out at a party, and so it was just Edward and Bella in the apartment. Bella made him dinner--simple grilled cheese and tomato--since he frequently forgot to eat when he was elbow deep in a project. They talked. They kissed, and he carried her to his room. Afterward, they fell asleep tangled in each other's arms.

He'd awaken in the early morning to the beautiful sight of Bella in his bed. She had rolled onto her belly at some point during the night, and the blankets had fallen down low so her bare back was there under his fingertips. It had been one of the more profound moments of his life, carved second for second into his memory. He remembered the soft feel of her skin, the heady smell of sex, and the cute little sounds she made as she grumbled in her sleep. Her hair spilled wild around her on the pillow and down her back. She was so beautiful--witty and interesting. That was the moment he admitted to himself he wanted this, wanted her. He wanted evenings like the ones they'd spent together--talking, making love, and he wanted to wake like this with her in his bed.

Edward blinked, coming back to the present as he finished buttoning the last button. She'd already been pregnant that morning, as he gazed down at her and wondered how to tell her he wanted her. He hadn't known it, but he'd had so much more than a potential girlfriend in his bed.

Now, she was so changed. He caught glimpses of the girl she'd been, but she was reserved. She was so damaged, but losing a child the way she had would do that, he expected.

"There," he said, patting her back once before he stepped away.

"Thanks," she said, turning to face him. Her eyes swept over him. "You look good. Great. Better than usual. Um..." She flushed.

Edward smoothed his hand down the front of the tux he wore. "Thanks." His lips quirked up. "It's not really a costume. Especially next to yours."

Katie had been insistent Edward and Bella needed costumes if they were going to go trick-or-treating. Bella's stepmother had the ancient dress in a chest in the attic. Katie had deemed it acceptable and had told Edward he could be a fine gentleman and Bella could be a lady "like in olden days."

"As long as Katie is happy with it. I'm happy." Bella turned toward the mirror above her dresser. "I wish I knew how to do anything with my hair, though." She ran her fingers through the long tresses. "It'd look a little more authentic if I could do that coif thing. You know, the updo that sophisticated ladies of yore wore?"

Edward chuckled. "Yore." He walked up behind her, catching her eyes in the mirror to make sure she was okay with him touching her. He gathered her hair in his hands and twisted it up. "I can do it for you, if you want."

Her eyes went wide and Edward huffed, slightly bashful. "Alice," he said by way of explanation. "She taught me how to do her hair."

Bella's smile was amused and gentle, her eyes soft as she watched him twist her hair up. "See," he said. "If you have bobby pins, it won't be a problem."

"Katie will be happy," Bella said. "She asked me just the other day what made mommies different from daddies. She said her friends told her once she was weird for not having a mommy and said that mommies did different things like hair and makeup." She smirked. "She told me that was stupid though, because Emmett did her hair just fine."

"Oh, that's a fun picture,” Edward said with a laugh.

"Yeah. I thought so." Bella turned around to face him once he let her hair go. "Katie was a little upset when I told her I couldn't do much more than a really basic braid. I guess we got that covered after all.”

At her words, something sparked warm at the center of his chest. It was a weird feeling, at once happiness and nerves. Being a father was such an abstract concept. He was only beginning to grasp what being a full-time parent would consist of. Maybe being able to do his daughter’s hair was mundane in the list of parental duties, but as a man who’d never been given the chance to do anything for his daughter, it was huge.

It was also a spark of hope. One by one, piece by piece, he and Bella were figuring out how they were going to work as a team. That little tidbit made him hungry for more.

Taking her hand, Edward tugged her down with him to sit on the bed. He kept his hand with hers, hoping to assure her ahead of time he wasn’t angry. He also suspected what he wanted to ask wouldn’t be easy for her to answer.

“What were you going to name her?” he asked.

Bella’s head snapped up. Just as quickly, she looked back down, her breath stuttering. She pulled her hands out of his and clenched them a couple of times. “I don’t know that I ever decided on a girl’s name,” she said, her voice thin and far away. “I had a few ideas. I thought about Mara for one of my favorite Star Wars characters. The books, not the movie. Because I wanted that for her. For her to have strength and magic.” She glanced up at him, a small, wistful smile on her face. “I thought about naming her Danielle.”

“Why?” he asked, because he there had to be a reason.

“You’ll laugh at me.”

He shook his head.

Bella looked down again and took his hand, beginning to play with his fingers. “One of the first movies I can remember watching was Ever After. You know it?”

“Drew Barrymore as Cinderella.”

“Her name in that movie was Danielle. It was such a great story. She was everything I wanted to be--smart, loyal, kind. She was both strong and clever enough to rescue herself. And her prince…” She shook her head. “She challenged the way he looked at the world. He was richer than her, more powerful. She was a little more than a servant, and she turned the head of a prince. Not just because she looked good, though I’m sure that didn’t hurt, but because she made him think.”

She looked up again, and her eyes held him fast. He remembered watching her one day as she sat on his couch, her legs drawn up, her head resting on her knees as she gazed out the window. He’d drawn the eraser end of his pencil across her cheek, pulling back the curtain of her hair.

“What are you daydreaming about?” he’d asked her.

She’d looked back at him, and he’d wondered if he imagined the tinge of sadness in her expression. “Fairytales,” she’d answered.

Bella ducked her head again, breaking the intensity of the stare. She started to play with his fingers again, flexing them in and out one by one. “To be honest, though, I always thought she was a boy. A little Edward.”

“You would have named a boy Edward?”

Her eyes found is, and there was definitely sadness in them now. “I want to think if I’d made it to my father on time, or if Katie hadn’t been taken, I would have called you sooner rather than later. I know it’s what Charlie would have told me to do.” She huffed. “Really, he might have made that choice for me. I was a minor, after all.” She shrugged. “Maybe I would have waited to name her.”

“Maybe,” Edward said, acknowledging the inevitable pang of regret. He caught her hand again, squeezing her fingers tightly. “But now we have a beautiful Katie, and we’re going to spend our first holiday together.

She snorted. “Halloween.”

“It would have been her first holiday anyway.”

Bella shook her head, not looking up at him. “The Fourth of July.” She swallowed hard, and he thought he felt her shake. “That’s the day I woke up. Well. I guess I’d been awake before. Kind of. It takes a long time to recuperate from losing that much blood. Everything before July Fourth is a haze. I think even when I was semi-coherent, they kept saying I needed to tell them what I did with the baby, and I kept screaming what happened to my baby until I’d get too agitated. They’d dose me, or the lethargy would get the better of me. It was night time on July Fourth. They must have gotten it through their heads that my baby was kidnapped by then. I just remember hearing fireworks somewhere outside while a nurse explained my baby hadn’t been found.” Her body shook in earnest, but only in one tremor, as though she were trying to shake the feeling away.

Edward couldn’t even begin to imagine. He shifted and put his arm around her, drawing her close. She laid her head on his shoulder. “We have her now, Bella. All the holidays for the rest of our lives, we have her.”

~0~

It was a good night, surprisingly. Surprising because Bella knew Emmett and Jasper didn’t want them there. Just as it was significant to her and Edward because it was the first holiday they would spend with their daughter, for Jasper and Emmett, it was the first holiday they had to share her. Once upon a time, Halloween had been their first holiday together too.

Still, the men were civil as always in front of Katie. They seemed to know all the hot spots around the city, and were the ones who suggested trick-or-treating along the waterfront. All the shops gave out candy, and there were games and activities. There was enough going on that they’d been able to share Katie effectively, each of them taking her to a different activity, splitting their time with her while still being able to enjoy an intimate moment.

The only thing that had potentially dragged the evening down had been when Bella went with Katie to one of the trick activities. The children were rounded up and distracted for a minute so that when they turned around, their parents were missing. The parents all jumped out fairly quickly, mostly to the laughter of their children, but Katie hadn’t seemed amused. She’d been clingier with Bella after that, and a little quiet. When it came time for them to part for the evening, she had asked several times if Bella was sure she and Edward would be back for another visit in a few days.

Back at home, after she could breathe again around the devastating pain she felt every single time she had to leave her daughter behind, Bella couldn’t stop staring at the pictures on her phone. With everything going on, Katie had been as hyper as any other child, and her grin in the pictures was radiant. Bella traced her fingers over a picture of the three of them--her, Edward, and Katie--making their best spooky faces as they posed with one of the ghost figures littered about.

Bella jumped as the picture disappeared, replaced by the notification she had an incoming call. From Jasper. She swiped to connect the call and put the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Uh. Hi,” Jasper said, and his voice sounded strained.

Bella’s heart began to pound hard. She could hear wailing in the background. A child screaming. Her child screaming. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Um. Look, I think Katie had a nightmare. A really bad nightmare. We can’t calm her down, and I think…” Jasper took a deep breath. “I think she wants you.”

Bella didn’t need to be told twice. She was already out of bed, toeing on her shoes and looking for her keys. Her throat was tight and her stomach twisting. Her baby needed her, and she wasn’t there.

“I’ll be there in five minutes. Tell her I’ll be right there.”

“The door’s open. Just come up.”

Given that it was Halloween and the teenage misfits were still out and about, Bella had to force herself to concentrate enough to drive carefully. She needed to be at her daughter’s side. She needed it like she needed oxygen to take her next breath. Each minute passed like an eon. Rationally, she knew this wasn’t an emergency, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that her little girl called for her, and she wasn’t there.

Finally, Bella pulled up in front of Jasper and Emmett’s house. As promised, the door was open. She heard Katie’s cries right away. They were the desperate cries of a child who had driven herself into hysterics. There was no rationality at all about them. Bella raced up the stairs. She hardly saw Emmett and Jasper. All she saw was the form of the miserable little girl on the bed. She was curled into a ball, crying in hiccuping sobs, babbling something that couldn’t be understood.

Bella sat down on the bed, her heart pounding out of control, already crying because she couldn’t stand to see her baby in so much pain. “Honey. Hey. Look at me. Look at me, baby. I’m right here.”

To her surprise, at her words, Katie unwound herself from the ball and hurtled herself forward into Bella’s arms, almost knocking her over. She wrapped herself around Bella, her arms around her neck and legs around her body.

“Hey. Hey, it’s okay.” Bella’s voice shook as she stroked Katie’s back and hair, rocking her. “Katie-girl. It’s okay. I’ve got you. Everything’s okay.” The little girl’s body was hot, her face wet where she buried her head at Bella’s neck.

They stayed for a long time like that, Bella rocking Katie while her body shook with hiccups and sobs. But she began to calm instantly. When Bella chanced a glance at Emmett and Jasper, she could see it written on their faces--it really was Bella Katie had wanted, had needed. They were devastated. For the millionth time, Bella’s heart went out to them. It broke her heart just to hear her baby cry so brokenly. She knew it must have been painful to be unable to comfort her.

When Katie was breathing more normally, Bella tried talking to her. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Katie sniffled. She still had a vice grip on Bella, but she began to speak in a timorous voice. “I thought you were gone. I thought you were make believe. Like when the stupid people said you were disappeared. An’ I thought… I thought…”

“Oh, baby.” Bella rocked her. She thought she understood what she was saying. After all, once upon a time, she’d convinced herself the baby she’d carried for nine months but never laid eyes on couldn’t have been real, and that kind of mind-fuck had warped her brain. Broken reality was hard to deal with, even on a minor scale.

As she tried to explain, Katie started to get upset again. She squirmed, as though she was trying to get even closer to Bella, trying to crawl into her skin. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave, Mommy. Please.”

Bella’s breath left her in a gust. Her body jolted and then froze. Her heart twisted, but not, for once, with the agonizing type of pain. No, with that single word, her heart felt so full it physically hurt. She gasped, hardly able to breathe, hardly able to convince her mind to accept this whole moment as real.

But no, it was true. Her baby was in her arms, calling her Mommy for the very first time.

 **  
**Clutching Katie to her, Bella kissed the side of her hair, closing her eyes as she started to cry in earnest. “I’m here, Katie. Mommy’s here. Always. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay. I’m about to board a plane back to California. I’ll see you all soon. MWAH.


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oye. So last week wasn’t a good writing week at all. Brain is still resetting, I suppose.
> 
> Anyway. Trouble is done, with my betas. Fly Away Home is next. I’m going to try to update everything this week. We’ll see if my brain stays online.

Edward was startled when he heard Bella's car start. He got to the window in time to see her drive off. Watching her headlights disappear around the corner, a rush of fear went through him. Something had happened. Something horrible.

 

No. She would have told him, wouldn't she? But she would have told him if she was going out too.

 

Wouldn't she?

 

No. Why would she? They were two single individuals with minds and lives of their own. Just because their world had been so concentrated lately didn't mean she wasn't free to do whatever she wanted. She was a big girl who didn't need to tell anyone where she went or what she was doing.

 

Why that idea chafed, Edward didn't know. He dismissed that thought almost as soon as it occurred to him, his mind on to more important things. Bella could do whatever she wanted, but the fact of the matter was, she had left her family and a handful of friends behind when she moved to Seattle. No, they weren't across the universe from each other, but it wasn't as though she could decide to go see one of them at eleven thirty at night.

 

Twenty minutes later, unable to shake the thought something had happened, Edward pulled his phone out. He sat at the top of the stairs and texted her. Almost as soon as he pressed send, he heard the familiar chime of Bella's cell phone in her room.

 

So she'd taken off so quickly, she'd left her cell phone behind. That was strange. Edward's stomach twisted. She was never without her phone. It was difficult for her to be separated from her family, even this small distance. She kept her phone on her, so every text message the kids or Charlie sent would be answered immediately. And then there was Katie. She was obsessed with staying connected in case something happened.

 

Edward hesitated outside Bella's room. The door was open. He could see her phone on the bed. This was a gross invasion of privacy on one hand. On the other...

 

The last phone call to Bella's phone was from Jasper.

 

Edward was out the door in a heartbeat. He drove to Emmett and Jasper's house and didn't know whether to be more relieved or scared when he saw Bella's car. What was the protocol here? Surely, he couldn't go pounding on someone's door in the middle of the night, but if something was going on, why hadn't anyone called him?

 

He settled on texting Jasper.

 

Come in. The door's open.

 

When Edward entered, it wasn't Jasper he found. Emmett was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, watching him. His eyes were tired. Actually, everything about him, from the look on his face to the set of his shoulders, screamed exhaustion and defeat. Edward closed the door quietly behind him, unsure what to say. The house was too calm for his frazzled mindset.

 

The larger man rubbed at his eyes. "They're upstairs in Katie's room."

 

"Thanks," Edward said.

 

He had no idea what to expect when he looked into his daughter's room. They were there on the bed--Bella and Katie--lit only by the dim light of the nightlight. Katie was sprawled across her mother. Bella's arms were wrapped securely around her. Both their cheeks were tear-streaked, but their faces were peaceful in sleep. It was beautiful.

 

It was painful.

 

Edward watched them both breathe for a moment before he retreated. Downstairs, Emmett hadn't moved. Edward walked past him to the landing. "Pretty sight, isn't it?" Emmett asked, his voice flat as he glanced up.

 

Not knowing what to say, Edward stayed silent. Emmett scrubbed his hands over his face. "I mean it, actually." He huffed. "Katie had a nightmare. She thought Bella… she thought she'd made her mother up, that Bella was a figment of her imagination. She woke up convinced of that, and it upset her so much, we couldn't calm her down."

 

He shook his head. "If I was someone else. If I wasn't..." For the first time, his voice shook. "She's my baby. Mine and Jasper's baby. Our daughter. We were supposed to be all she ever needed. Tonight, for the first time in her life, we weren't good enough. Our baby needed her mother."

 

Emmett scrubbed a hand over his face again and made a low rumbling noise. He stood up and looked at Edward. "I need a drink. Do you want one?"

 

"Hell, yes."

 

Edward followed Emmett into the living room.

 

"Gentleman Jack?" Emmett asked.

 

"Yes. That'd be great."

 

When they were both sitting, sipping, Edward spoke. Not what he wanted to say, not what he was thinking. They were words to fill the space. "Where's Jasper?"

 

Emmett stared down at his drink. "Bed.”

 

“I’m not keeping you from being with him, am I?”

 

“No. This is…” He rotated his hand, watching the remaining liquid slosh around the sides of the glass. “Nightmares are…” He swallowed hard. “Were Jasper’s domain. He’s really good with moods. Like he’s usually able to tell really quickly if Katie’s nightmares are the scary kind--monsters in the dark or whatever--or the real life kind. After we told her about what happened to her when she was born, she had nightmares that the bad lady came back to get her.”

 

He shook his head. “Anyway. Like I said, Jasper’s good at moods. He knows how to handle them. When she’s scared, he can make her feel safe again. When she’s panicked, he can make her calm. But not tonight.” Emmett tilted the rest of his drink back and went to go serve himself another. “He needs to be alone for a little bit. He’ll come get me when he needs me.”

 

Edward looked down at his own drink. He wondered if they realized how intimidating they were. They were such a team, both as parents and as a couple. Meanwhile, Bella had raced over here on her own without a second thought about whether or not he should be included. Granted, it was Bella Katie needed tonight. Still, it was the kind of thing he should have been there for, if only to support both of them. That was what Daddies did.

 

After Emmett refilled Edward’s glass, they sat in silence for a long time. It wasn’t an awkward silence. It was as though they were both struggling, separate yet strangely unified. For once, for at least these few minutes, there was no bad blood between them.

 

“It was always hard to believe she doesn’t belong to Jasper,” Emmett said, apropos of nothing. His stare was far off. Edward doubted he was talking to him. He was just talking, just putting words to the chaos that had to be wreaking havoc in his head. “With her hair and the brains, people always assumed we had her through a surrogate or something. She was his. She was ours.”

 

Edward didn’t know what to say to that. He looked at Katie and saw his father. Because he saw his father, he saw himself. She was his daughter. He knew that, felt that without a doubt, but he couldn’t begrudge Emmett and Jasper the last six years. She was their daughter too, whether or not they could claim her with those exact words.

 

As he’d suspected, Emmett wasn’t looking for him to respond. He did look over at Edward then, his eyes bright with tears. “You know, it’s not like I don’t think about it. Someone literally cut that baby away from Bella’s body. That is some fucked up, heinous shit. I can’t imagine what that must have been like, to wake up and have no idea what happened to your baby.”

 

He pressed his lips together, breathing in through his nose until his breath was steady. “So how would I look at all of this, if I’d never been Katie’s daddy? Would I see the beautiful story? A mother who mourned her baby for six years, who could have gone her whole life believing something horrible had happened to her child, finds that baby against all odds. And that was a beautiful sight, man. I was there when Bella saw Katie for the first time, and I was there when Katie called her ‘Mommy’ for the first time. That is some intense shit. I would have choked up even if it wasn’t ripping my goddamned heart out.”

 

It was strange, Edward thought. The four of them shared this little girl. They were all parents and yet, Edward was the only one who couldn’t say he knew what it was to lose a child. Then again, as of tonight, he was also the only one Katie had never claimed as hers.

~0~

“I’m sorry,” Bella said almost as soon as she came in the door the next morning. “I don’t even remember driving over there. I just knew that Katie needed me, and I went.”

 

“I know it was you she needed, but I had every right to be there. I wanted to be there. It doesn’t matter that I couldn’t do anything.” Edward rubbed the back of his neck, tired and agitated. “We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? That’s the point of all this?” He gestured around them. “Anything involving Katie, anything at all, is supposed to involve both of us.”

 

“It is. I’m sorry.” She gave him a small, humorless smile. “Hey, maybe we should find one of those team building camps, you know? Where you have to do trust building exercises. Work together to build a tower of furniture or something?”

 

Some of the tension that had kept Edward up most of the night let up, and he smiled. “I don’t think we can afford a whole retreat.” He clenched and unclenched his fist, unreasonably nervous. “How about we start smaller? Like dinner or something. Not here. Not with my parents or your family. Out. Separate from everything that’s going on.”

 

Bella blinked at him, obviously startled. “What?”

 

“It’s just that I think we’re making a mess of… us. We’re supposed to trust each other, depend on each other, but how are we supposed to do that? The only thing you really know about me is that I’ve already exploded at you once. And then the very first time our daughter needed one of us, you ran off without remembering I even exist.”

 

Her lips tugged down at the corners. “But you started therapy to learn how to deal with your anger, and this mistake is the kind I only have to make once.”

 

“Maybe.” Edward paused, trying to find the right words. He offered his hand palm up. She didn’t hesitate. She took his hand, holding it between them on the couch. He smiled at that, somewhat reassured. Maybe they didn’t know how to talk to each other, how to be a real team, but they weren’t starting from scratch. There was this.

 

“I know some of this is going to be trial and error,” he said. “We’re both going to screw up, and I think we know how to call each other on it. That’s something, at least. It’s just that all of this… mess. The good, the bad, the ugly; all of it is so much work. Not that I’m complaining, because it’s worth it. Of course Katie is worth all of this, but you and I… I think we’ve forgotten that it’s okay to enjoy each other.” He squeezed her hand. “Assuming we still think there’s something to enjoy.”

 

She ducked her head, cheeks flushing. “So you want to what? Go on a date?”

 

At that, Edward felt his own cheeks heat. “I’m not trying to complicate things even more than they are. I just think we could stand to spend some time together that isn’t so heavy. Figure each other out the way most people do. No more confessions that get dragged out because I flew off the handle or something like that. Maybe something closer to what we were doing with Katie at McDonald’s, you know? Asking the silly questions. That was fun.”

 

“Except without Katie.”

 

He looked up at her, finding she was looking back with a careful expression. “I think there should be more to us than how we are when we’re around Katie. We can’t just continue to tiptoe around each other when Katie isn’t with us.”

 

“So you want to hang out.”

 

“In a manner of speaking. Away from here though. I think right now being at home just reminds us how hard we’re working on everything. It’s the base of our struggles, you know? It’s where we’re trying to make a home where Katie will feel safe and loved. It’s the source of our frustration because we’re dependent on our parents, and you’re miles away from your family and job. We need something that isn’t bogged down by all that.”

 

Bella smirked as she looked at him. “It didn’t take your therapist long to mindfuck you good and proper, did it?”

 

He laughed, surprised at her bluntness. He supposed he was using language his therapist had taught him. “No, I guess not.”

 

She nodded, still smiling. “Okay, sure. We’ll do something fun. I think I could handle that.”

 

“Oh, well. Don’t let me twist your arm,” he said carefully, thinking maybe he could tease her a bit. “If it’s an ordeal to have a good time with me, I wouldn’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

 

“No, no, no. Sometimes in life, you have to do unpleasant things.”

 

They grinned at each other, whatever residual tension had built up draining away again. After a minute, he looked at her more seriously. “Will you tell me what happened last night, and what Katie said when you woke up this morning?”

 

“Oh.”

 

Edward hadn’t really been able to figure out what had happened from Emmett. The man had been too wrecked to form words with any coherence. Edward got the impression Emmett didn’t often go on philosophical tangents. Maybe it was his way of trying to figure out these incomprehensible things that were happening to all of them.

 

Bella explained what had happened as best as she could. The Halloween trick had put the idea in Katie’s head that her mother could disappear, and her nightmare had thrust her into a world where Bella was just a figment of her imagination. She’d thought for years that her mother was dead, and when she woke up from her nightmare, she’d been convinced Bella was the dream. She’d been inconsolable until Bella was there in front of her, touchable.

 

“I thought she was going to choke me,” Bella said, but there was a smile playing at her lips. “And she called me Mommy.”

 

Edward smiled back, swallowing down his jealousy. This was her moment. “She knows who you are.”

 

Bella looked at him, cocking her head to study his features. “She knows who you are, too. When we woke up this morning, that was the first thing she asked. “Where’s my daddy?’”

 

“Yeah. She knows who I am.” It sent warmth through his chest, but it wasn’t exactly the same. Edward wasn’t Daddy, or Dad, or Papa. He was “my daddy.” Katie used it as a title, an acknowledgement that she understood he was her biological father. There was no fondness or familiarity in a title. Still, it made him happy that she’d expected him to be there. And sad, of course, because he hadn’t been.

 

Bella closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose. “It’s getting harder to leave her there,” she said in a whisper. “I hate walking away from her, Edward. I hate it.” She took a shaky breath. “And I want her to call me Mommy when she’s happy. And I want her hugs. Not clinging, like last night, but a hug. I want her to love me.”

  
“I know.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “I want all that too. We just have to be patient,” he said to himself as much as to her. Katie would call him Daddy some day. “We’re closer than you think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to my girls and their everlasting patience with me. 
> 
> Personal note. I’ve started a Facebook page for my stories. You can find it by searching for my screenname, I think. I dunno. I’m trying to figure it all out, haha. Anyway, it’s open for now. :)


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good Monday morning to you, my sweets! I should be asleep. But as I’m not, have an update. By Proxy should be up next.

Jasper and Emmett effectively had no family. Emmett was technically an orphan, his biological parents having been in prison most of his life. Jasper’s parents had disowned him. He had a sister in Texas, but their relationship was strained at best, her having been very young when their parents threw him out.

 

Hearing this and planning far in advance, Esme and Carlisle had invited everyone, including Jasper and Emmett, to Thanksgiving at their rental house. Worrying that so many family members in one setting would be overwhelming for Katie, they’d all decided November was time to start introducing her to her new family slowly, starting with Charlie and Tyler since they were closer in age. Angela had been invited too, but she’d gotten too self-conscious at Mike’s teasing that she was being thrown in with the babies.

 

Bella, who had been squirming in her seat like she was the six-year-old, jumped when Edward reached out to touch her arm. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice low and steady so as not to worry Katie in the backseat.

 

“Yeah.” Bella blew out a breath and closed her eyes briefly. “Nervous. I want my dad to think Katie is perfect, and I don’t want her to hurt him, if that makes sense.”

 

Edward’s huff was wry. “She’s good at that,” he said, though not unkindly. The little girl had a talent for saying the exact right thing to break their hearts, but Bella had it on good authority all children were born knowing that trick.

 

He squeezed her arm before returning his hand to the steering wheel. “You know Charlie will adore Katie even if she was the most difficult child on the planet, and she isn’t. As for Katie…” He glanced in the rearview mirror, checking to see that Katie was still distracted, staring out the window with a day-dreamy expression on her face. “I can never tell how she’s going to react. But grandparents are different, I think. More fun. And another kid being there will distract her too.”

 

Bella hummed, trying hard to sit still. “I know Carlisle and Esme are chomping at the bit to meet her. It’s almost unfair that Charlie gets to meet her first.”

 

“Don’t worry about them. Everyone agrees it’s better to start with the kids. It’s not Charlie’s fault he’s the daddy.” Edward glanced at her and smiled. “She’ll know all of them by the end of the month. Poor little love. What a crazy family she’s being brought into.”

 

Bella was quiet at that. She turned her head to watch the Seattle scenery whisk by, contemplating his words. It was strange to hear him talk about everyone as though they were one family. It was even stranger to realize it wasn’t untrue. Yes, they were still awkward and uncertain around each other, figuring each other out, but there was a sense of connectedness between her and all the Cullens. She even spoke with Alice, who had long since gone back to Chicago, regularly.

 

Maybe they were like a stack of cards that had been thrown together haphazardly, not yet gathered into a neat pile, but they were a unit. A strange but wonderful unit.

 

Not for the first time, it occurred to Bella that she was very lucky. Growing up as she had, as messed up as she’d been when Katie was conceived, she could have made a much worse choice than someone as kind and good as Edward. At times, this whole situation seemed impossible, but moments like these, Bella realized how much else could have gone wrong. Edward and his family could have easily chosen to see her as the villain, or at the very least automatically branded her as an unfit mother. If Edward had gone into all of this only out to protect his own interests separate from hers, things could have been so much uglier.

 

A few minutes later, they pulled into a parking garage bordering Seattle Center. Bella glanced behind her and was amused to find Katie still staring sightlessly out the window, as though unaware the view had changed from picturesque Seattle to dingy parking garage. “Katie. We’re here.” Sure enough, Katie blinked and looked around, momentarily confused.

 

Chuckling, Bella opened the car door to let her out. “What were you thinking about?”

 

Katie shrugged, but grinned up at Bella and Edward cheerfully as she took each of their hands. “In the museum, they have a place where you can build forts. I was thinking if you could make a blanket fort off the Space Needle, you could put the whole city under it.” She peered up at Edward, shaking his hand a bit. “Do you think we could ask the president and he would do it?”

 

Edward smothered a laugh behind his hand and cleared his throat to answer her seriously. “Well, there’s no harm in trying, I suppose. We can write him a letter. Just don’t be surprised if he can’t answer. He gets a lot of letters.”

 

“That’s true. But it would be cool.” She looked up at Bella this time. “I want to build a fort today.”

 

“You probably can. We just have to make sure that’s what Tyler wants to do, too.”

 

Katie screwed her face up in distaste. “This is my trip. We should do what I want.”

 

Bella was strongly inclined to give her daughter anything and everything she wanted, but she knew better than to think that would fly in the long run. No. They had to be more than just their daughter’s playmates.

 

In agreement with that assessment, it was Edward who rebuked her gently. “It’s Tyler’s trip, too, and there’s plenty to do at the museum. I’ll bet you can convince Tyler to build a fort with you, and if you can’t, there’s bound to be something you both want to do.”

 

Katie let out a disgruntled humph, but she didn’t argue. She was only sullen for a few seconds before she started asking questions. “You said my grandpa is coming, too?”

 

“Yes,” Bella said, the idea sending a fresh wave of nerves down her spine.

 

“And Tyler is his baby?”

 

“Yes. My little brother.”

 

“That’s weird. Grandpas aren’t supposed to have little kids like me.” Her expression was adorably perplexed. “Does he have white hair?”

 

“No,” Bella said with a laugh. “He has hair like mine.”

 

“Long?”

 

Edward chortled, and Bella smiled at the mental image. “Brown.”

 

“Oh.” Katie looked down as though trying to glance at her own ponytail. She wrinkled her nose again and looked up first at Edward then at Bella. “I don’t have hair like you or you,” she said, looking between them.

 

“No,” Edward said, his smile soft. “You have hair like your other grandfather. My father.”

 

“But he isn’t coming today?”

 

“No. He doesn’t have a little kid.”

 

Katie let go of Bella’s hand to press the button for the elevator. She bit her lower lip as she looked back to Edward. “Does he want to meet me?”

 

Edward’s expression then was inexplicably tender. He reached down to cup Katie’s face, his large hand to her small head. “Oh, baby. Of course he does. There are so many people who want very badly to meet you.”

 

The little girl was quiet as they descended, but as they stepped out, she smiled tentatively up at them. “We have a big family, huh?”

 

Bella’s heart skipped a beat, and she couldn’t stop the grin that spread across her face. Edward glanced at her, a similar smile on his face. He looked back to Katie. “Yeah, baby. We have a big family, and they love us.”

 

They’d only barely stepped out of the parking garage when Bella’s attention was drawn away from her daughter if only for a moment. “Bella!” She turned to see Tyler barrelling toward her. “Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella.”

 

She let go of Katie’s hand to catch Tyler before he knocked her over. She pulled him up into her arms, spinning him around and then hugging him tightly to her. He clung to her. “I missed you, Bella. I missed you so much.”

 

“Hey, bub.” Bella pushed his hair back and kissed his forehead. “I missed you, too.” He couldn’t possibly know how much she’d missed him. Her little brother with his easy, unconditional love. She hugged him, and she missed seeing him whenever she wanted. She missed Angela, Mikey, her father and stepmother. The home she’d made with them was the only time in her entire life she’d felt safe and warm.

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the look on Katie’s face, and it broke the moment. The girl was glaring, though more with uncertainty than maliciousness. She tugged on Edward’s hand and lifted her arms. He looked stunned, but he lifted her up, settling her on his hip.

 

Bella had to smother a smile as she readjusted Tyler into a similar grip. She knew a jealous child when she saw one.

 

“Hey, sorry.” Again, Bella’s amusement turned to nervousness as Charlie joined them. His eyes were locked on Katie even as he spoke to Bella. “Tyler got away from me.”

 

Instantly, Katie clung to Edward, hiding her face at his neck, shyness taking over again. Edward stroked her back as Bella and the others stepped closer.

 

Bella took a deep breath. “Dad. Tyler. This is my Katie.”

 

Edward kissed the top of Katie’s hair. “Katie. Do you want to say hello to your grandfather and Tyler?”

 

“Hey, don’t be scared.” Tyler reached over and patted at Katie’s shoulder. “Daddy’s really nice. It’s just sometimes his moustache makes him look scary. Like a bad guy in a movie or something.” He sighed dramatically. “But he says Mommy likes his moustache, so he’s gonna keep it.”

 

Drawn out of her shy moment by curiosity, Katie looked up so she could see Charlie’s moustache. Bella watched as Charlie grinned--the same ear-to-ear smile she and Edward had worn just a minute before. “Hello there,” he said, his voice gentle. “You’re even prettier than the pictures your mommy showed me.”

 

Katie flashed a pleased grin, ducking her head against Edward’s shoulder but looking at Charlie. “Thank you. I don’t think your moustache makes you look like a bad guy at all. I think it’s very nice.” She hesitated a moment and then reached her hand out. “Can I touch it?”

 

Charlie laughed. “Sure.”

 

He stood still as she ran her fingers over the bristles. Tyler, never one to be left out, reached out and did the same. Both the children giggled. “It tickles,” Katie said.

 

She tilted her head, considering Charlie. “You don’t look like a grandpa.”

 

“Well, I’ll take that as a compliment. But I am a grandpa. Yours.”

 

Katie looked at him again and, to Bella’s shock, held her arms out. Charlie looked surprised too, but he took Katie into his arms. The little girl kissed his cheek sweetly. “Hello, Grandpa.”

 

“Hello, sweetheart.” He brushed the tip of her nose with a butterfly kiss. He held her only a few moments before he set her on the ground as Bella set Tyler down.

 

Bella choked up with emotion, but she didn’t have time to dwell on it. As soon as he was on the ground, Tyler’s impatience to be in the museum made itself known.

 

“Let’s go,” he said. He grabbed Bella’s hand and tried to pull her away.

 

“Hey.” Katie stepped up. She took Bella’s arm by the wrist and tried to loose Tyler’s grip. “That’s my spot.”

 

Tyler knitted his brow, clinging stubbornly to Bella. “She’s my sister.”

 

“She’s my mommy.”

 

“But she was my sister first.”

 

Katie huffed in her exasperated way. “Nah-uh. You’re only four. I’m six. That’s more.”

 

Tyler’s stare was dubious as he looked her over with a critical eye. “I think you’re not six. You’re littler like me.”

 

“You’re big for your age, Ty,” Charlie said. “Remember we told you that? And Katie is a little on the small side for her age, but that doesn’t mean it will stay that way.”

 

“Yeah,” Katie said, nodding. “It’s genetics.”

 

Tyler made a face. “What’s that?”

 

“Genetics.” Katie repeated the word slower. “Don’t you know? You get genes from your mommy and daddy that make up all the things about you like your hair and your eyes and how tall you are.”

 

Tyler stared down at his jeans. “Huh?”

 

Bella smothered a laugh, and Katie just huffed again. “You should hold hands with your daddy.”

 

“Why don’t you hold hands with your daddy?”

 

Katie thought about this for a moment and reached out to take Edward’s hand, still keeping a firm hold of Bella’s wrist. “I can do both.”

 

“Whoa. Hey. Okay.” Bella was more amused than irritated, and she couldn’t say she wasn’t pleased that Katie felt so territorial over her. “I have two hands. Tyler, get on this side.”

 

Tyler was agreeable. Katie clung to both her parents as they set off and Tyler held hands with Bella. In the manner of children, he forgot the small quarrel almost instantly. He hopped up and down as they walked. “Daddy said you can make forts inside. Can we make forts?”

 

Edward and Bella glanced at each other, sharing another smile as they headed inside the museum.

~0~

“You know, it occurs to me that our kid is an insufferable know-it-all,” Edward said when he and Bella were alone later that evening. He beamed as he said it, ever charmed by every tiny detail of his daughter’s personality. “We’re probably going to have to do something about that at some point.”

 

“At some point,” Bella echoed in agreement.

 

She was sitting forward on the couch, her expression far off. It was an odd look--half happy because it had been a good day. A great day, even. Katie and Tyler had a great time playing at Seattle Children’s Museum and had gotten along well together. But the very best thing had been the way he and Bella blended in seamlessly with all the other parents there with their children. Katie held their hands, dragging them around the museum. She came to them to gush excitedly about new things she’d discovered and had asked them a million times if they were watching when her bubble off the bubble wall grew larger.

 

The other half of her expression was somewhat darker. That darkness could be about any number of things. Having to leave Katie again, thinking about the future, when they would be solely responsible for molding her into the person she would become. It was a lot to think about.

 

Edward realized almost too late what he was going to do. He reached for her and stopped when his hand was nearly touching her back. He pressed his lips together, wondering why it felt so natural to want to touch her like this.

 

Fuck it.

 

He pressed his palm flat against her back and stroked in a soothing gesture. He could feel her sharp intake of breath, but she didn't try to pull away from him. Instead, she leaned back into his touch, releasing a long sigh, as though some of her residual tension had drained away.

 

"Bella?" he said, voice huskier than he'd intended.

 

She didn't turn to face him. "Are you going to ask me another question?"

 

His lip twitched. "I was going to ask why you don't ask me any questions."

 

Bella didn't speak right away. She stared forward, her head tilted in abstraction, but she would move, responding to his touch. “Because I don’t know where to start.” Her voice had a slight tremor to it. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I don’t know how to be normal.”

 

Edward furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean by that?”

 

“God, I don’t even know.” She gave a short laugh. Her words weren’t whining. She wasn’t feeling sorry for herself. She spoke what she believed to be simple fact. “You know, ever since you said we should go out, I’ve been nervous.”

 

“About what?”

 

“You won’t understand.”

 

“Try me.”

 

She chuffed. “Social interaction. It’s kind of an effort for me.”

 

“You have friends. They wanted to visit you last weekend when we were with Katie.”

 

“They’re nice; that’s all. They were probably relieved when I said I was busy.”

 

He hummed and curled a strand of her hair around his finger. “People aren’t friends with you because they’re nice. They’re friends with you because you’re worth it.”

 

She didn’t say anything to that, but nothing was better than disagreeing. “Ask me something,” he said, voice gentle

 

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” she asked after a moment.

 

A generic question - safe as these things went. A good place to start. “Antarctica,” he said.

 

She laughed and finally turned to him, caught off guard. “Come on.”

 

“What? It’s true. I really want to see a penguin, and I feel too guilty going to Sea World after watching that documentary.”

 

“I’m pretty sure there are more places you can see a penguin than Antarctica.”

 

Edward grinned. “There are. South America, Africa, Ecuador. But people have been to those places. Do you personally know anyone who’s been to Antarctica?”

 

Bella quirked a brow, looking amused. “I don’t know anyone who’s been to Africa.”

 

“You know my dad. But the point is, I want to see penguins, and I want to be the smug bastard who’s been somewhere no one else in the room has been.”

 

She giggled, and then sighed. “Well, in this room, that’s not too difficult.”

 

Edward pressed his lips together, not sure what to say, and Bella made a face of self-disgust. “I’m sorry,” she said. “See? I told you. I don’t know how to do this. It’s a social faux pas, right? To bring the room down?”

 

He reached out to take her hands in his. “It’s not that. It was just that the first thing I wanted to say was that everywhere I go from now on, you and Katie will be with me.” He twined their fingers together. “It was a big thought.”

 

She ducked her head, and he could all but see the wheels turning in that quiet mind of hers. There was a storm in her eyes and in the way she tightened her fingers around his. But they’d touched lightness, and he wasn’t ready to let it go yet. He squeezed her hands. “Coke or Pepsi?”

 

“Oh.” She looked at him again with a smile. “Are you sure you want to go there? Wars have been fought over that question.”

 

He shifted in his seat and squared his shoulders. “I’m ready. Lay it on me.”

 

“Pepsi.”

 

“Oooooooh.” He pretended to wince and then he winked at her. “We’ll have to ask Katie, but as of now, we are a Pepsi household.”

 

They smiled at each other, and after a prolonged moment of comfortable silence, Bella suddenly surged forward. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him. Startled, it took him a moment to settle his arms around her.

 

“Is this okay?” she asked, finding a space at the crook of his shoulder.

 

“Yeah. This is okay. Hugs are almost always okay.”

 

“You were a cuddler. I remember.” As soon as she said the words, she stiffened slightly, but she didn’t let go.

 

Edward chuckled. “You smelled good.” He ducked his head, and breathed in her scent. “You still do. Tanya used to tell me to stop and smell the roses--you know, when I was going a mile a minute with all those projects that seemed so important at the time?”

 

“I remember,” Bella said, the sound vibrating against his skin.

 

“After I met you, she said she should have told me to stop and smell the Bella.”

 

Bella hummed in acknowledgement that she’d heard him. “How is Tanya anyway?” she asked after a moment. “Do you keep in touch?”

 

“I do. She lives in Alaska. How random is that?”

 

“Random as anything, I guess.” Bella lifted her head to look at him. “Do you have friends here?”

 

“I...Yeah. A few.” He’d lived in Seattle less than two years, and he was somewhat anti-social. “Why?”

 

“Do they know about me? And Katie?”

 

Edward shook his head slowly, hoping that wasn’t going to be an issue. “I don’t know if this sounds pompous, but...you know, our story is very unique. It was bad enough I had to tell the school about it. I feel like the more people know, the more likely we’re going to get media attention, you know?”

 

“I don’t think that’s pompous. You hear stories like ours on the news, and that’s the last thing I want,” she said with a grimace. She shook her head, dismissing the thought. “I was thinking that I’ve always wanted to hang out at a bar with a few friends. The kind of bar without the club atmosphere and dancing. Figure out how to play pool or darts or something. Maybe that sounds stupid.”

 

“It’s not stupid.” He ran his hand up and down her back absently, thinking it over. “In fact, that’s kind of brilliant. That’s exactly what we could use--a night to unwind. Nothing serious. Just a few friends hanging out. There’s no reason any of them have to know anything about what’s going on here. Pretty much the antithesis of all this heavy, complicated stuff.”

 

Her smile brightened. “Yeah. Exactly.”

 

“I’ll call a few people.” He tilted his head, looking at her. “Maybe you should call your friend. Siobhan, right?”

 

Bella nodded. “Then it’s a date. A friend date. Saturday night?”

  
“It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Quasi date night coming up next! 
> 
> So I started a Facebook group for my stories. I post a lot of spoilers etc in there. I accidentally refused someone (my phone was being a jerk!) so if you requested to be added to the group and didn’t get a response, please try again. Sorry about that!


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It’s Monday again. Why?

“Wow, Bella. You’re looking all kinds of good tonight.” Siobhan whistled when Bella opened the door. “You trying to impress someone?”

 

“Um.”

 

Before Bella could say anything, someone pulled the door open wider. She didn’t have to look to know Edward had appeared behind her. Siobhan’s eyes went wide. Bella smirked and blushed at the same time.

 

“Hello.” Edward offered his hand. “I’m Edward.”

 

“Siobhan.” She shook his hand with gusto.

 

“I’ll catch you ladies later. I have to pick up Benjamin,” Edward said, squeezing past them to head down the walk. He turned to look at Bella and reached out, brushing her arm in a quick gesture.

 

Siobhan whistled again. “Wow. So, you know how you watch those TV shows or movies where you can see a disaster brewing from a mile away? Yeah, that may or may not be our night.”

 

“What do you mean?” Bella asked. She tugged at her shirt.

 

Her friend grimaced. “Well...You know, Jacob still asks about you.”

 

A tendril of something uncomfortable churned in Bella’s gut. “What did you do?”

 

“Nothing. He just said he didn’t have anything to do tonight. He wants to see you.” Siobhan shrugged. “I told him where we were going to be hanging out, that’s all. Doesn’t mean he’ll show up.”

 

“That’s so comforting.”

 

“You said you and baby daddy weren’t together.” By necessity, Siobhan knew a warped version of the truth. She knew Bella had a daughter, with whom she was estranged, and that Edward was her daughter’s father.

 

“We aren’t.”

 

Siobhan hummed. “You know he wants to be, right?”

 

“Come in. I’ll give you a tour of the place.”

~0~

Bella had been through too much in her life to be naive. She was well aware Edward was attracted to her. She was a pretty girl, and he’d seen her naked. The feeling was mutual. Attraction was easy to recognize.

 

What threw Bella off was everything else. The way he looked at her sometimes was more than just attraction. It reminded her of before.

 

In the brief time they knew each other at Stanford, there had been a handful of intense moments. She remembered watching Edward blink blearily at his computer, his eyes red from strain. How at first, he’d been just a little bit annoyed that she kept asking him questions.

 

“Some of us aren’t art majors, doing creative art pieces. Some of us have to put work into their classes,” he’d said.

 

“Oh, oh, oh. It’s only because I know in five seconds your brain is going to catch up with your mouth and you’re going to say…”

 

“Shit, Bella. I didn’t mean it that way.”

 

Edward had pushed away from his desk and come over to her on his bed. They started talking, and he ended up with his head on her lap, his eyes closed to rest them. She ran her fingers through his hair and rubbed the spot just behind his ear.

 

When his eyes opened, Bella’s breath caught in her throat. There was just something in the way he’d looked at her. His eyes were sleepy and soft. It took her forever to realize she was staring and at least five seconds longer to realize there was no reason for her to feel ashamed; he was staring too.

 

He’d reached up and with the tenderest of touches she could imagine, a skim of his fingertips so light it almost tickled, he began to trace the lines of her face. She closed her eyes, breathless as he ran his thumb over her lower lip.

 

“Bella. Earth to Bella.” Siobhan laughed as she gave Bella’s arm a little shake. “Ah, I missed you. You and your space-out moments. Now, come on. Let’s go get our grubby bar on.”

 

“It doesn’t look so grubby,” Bella said. She was somewhat startled when Siobhan looped an arm through hers. It took her a second to sync their steps. Then, she wondered if she was supposed to let go.

 

Ah, the endless questions of the socially awkward.

 

“Hey. Over here.”

 

Edward and Benjamin were already there, tucked into a round booth. Bella hesitated, but Edward was already scooting over. She slid into the booth beside him.

 

“Got you this,” he said, sliding a tumbler over to her after he’d introduced her, as a friend, to his friend Benjamin.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Shot of Jim Beam with cherries in it.” He smirked. “Basically they’re alcoholic cherries.” He plucked a cherry off the top of her stack and popped it in his mouth.

 

“What would your mother think of you sticking your fingers in someone else’s food?”

 

“This is a drink.”

 

Bella fished a cherry out of her glass. “This is food.”

 

“There is no nutritional value in that.”

 

“I’m sure there’s something. Anyway. Stop sticking your fingers in my drink-food. No one knows where they’ve been.”

 

“Oooh.” Benjamin clapped. “I think she just accused you of masturbating and not washing.”

 

Edward turned to Bella. “You’ll find that one of Benjamin’s more charming qualities is his tendency to state the obvious thus making the joke realllllly awkward.”

 

Bella’s lips quirked.

 

When Edward’s friend Zafrina showed up, they had to squeeze together even tighter. Edward put his arm over the back of the booth to make more room. Bella was all but tucked up against him. He smelled good--the right amount of cologne.

 

It was easier than Bella would have expected to get along with their little group. Benjamin turned out to be hilarious, and Zafrina was interesting too, when they could get her to stop making eyes at Siobhan. Conversation was easy and light--exactly what they needed. Bella made an effort to let all her worries, even her worry that she was being accidentally socially awkward, aside.

 

Just as she was trying to figure out a way to insert herself in the current conversation, she was distracted by a touch to the back of her neck. A thrill shot down her spine, making her sit up straighter. She turned to the side, wondering what the hell Edward was doing, only to find him involved in a side-conversation with Benjamin.

 

He was stroking the back of her neck absently--an intimate touch that seemed entirely subconscious. She was still for a moment, enjoying the sensation of tender touch.

 

That was the other thing Bella remembered well about Edward. Her stepfather’s friends had touched her, of course. Touched her without her permission. Their touch was violent, even when it hadn’t hurt, even when she hadn’t struggled. Then others--the boys and men she’d come in contact with whose touches weren’t necessarily unwelcome, but they’d had one aim--clumsy touches of adolescent boys and young men with a single-minded purpose. She could have been anyone.

 

Then came Edward.

 

She’d seen the attraction in his eyes on the stairs the night they met. She’d seen his annoyance fade away, replaced by a want, and then he’d offered to take her to dinner. That was novel. No one had ever asked her out. Maybe that was a difference with college boys--at least you got dinner first.

 

She went. They talked. And talked. He kept his hands to himself and looked her in the eyes. He was involved in their conversation, and at the end of the night, he asked if she wanted to come with him to a lecture the next day. His touches then had begun just like this--innocent and tender. Absent--as though it was the most natural thing in the world to just need some part of him to brush against her.

 

On the other side of her,  a soft snicker alerted her to the fact her abstraction had been noticed. Again. "I'm sorry, what?" she said, blinking at Siobhan.

 

"I said I need a refill." Siobhan shook her empty glass, ice rattling.

 

“Oh. Okay. I’ll come with you.”

 

“No, no, no,” Siobhan said, a little too quickly. She turned and put her hand to Zafrina’s shoulder. “Zee wants to help me. What does everyone want?”

 

When they walked away, and Benjamin excused himself to go to the bathroom, Edward put his arm around Bella in a casual way. “Your friend likes my friend.’

 

Bella looked over at the bar where Siobhan and Zafrina were turned toward each other, grinning at each other. She smiled. “Apparently.”

 

He didn’t move to take his arm from around her shoulders. He tilted his head to speak low in her ear. “Now… please keep in mind I am very tipsy. I know it’s not appropriate for me to say so, but…” He pointed at them. “That’s hot.”

 

Not expecting that at all, Bella did a spit-take. That made Edward giggle. He straight out giggled. That made Bella laugh in between coughs. It felt good to laugh, and that only made things worse. Edward rubbed her back helpfully.

 

“It is kind of hot,” she said when she could breathe again.

 

He hummed his agreement. His head was still tilted down toward her. His breath smelled like whiskey and cherries. Bella realized too late she was staring at his lips. She raised her eyes to find him staring at her, and she was suddenly positive he was about to kiss her.

 

“Hey, Bella. There you are.”

 

Bella’s head snapped. She cleared her throat and smiled wanly. “Hey, Jacob.”

~0~

Here was the thing--Jacob had no chance. He’d never had a chance, really. Once upon a time, before all this, maybe she would have tried a date with him. He was attracted to her, and he was nice. He might have been a good step. That was what she had been doing before all this--taking one step after another, trying to figure out how to be a real, functioning human being.

 

That ship had sailed. That life had sailed, and maybe that was why tonight was so surreal. How much time had Bella spent wondering what would have happened if she’d told Edward she was pregnant? That ship had sailed too, and yet...here they both were. Two lives that hadn’t happened.

 

She was way too tipsy for this line of thought. Also, she was becoming increasingly more distracted.

 

“Okay. I can’t take this,” she said, pushing up from the booth.

 

Bella was tipsy. Edward was almost drunk, and it showed. She couldn’t help but smile. It had been a long while since she’d had anything to drink so it was affecting her more quickly than she remembered, but she could still handle her drink. Meanwhile, this guy…

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Bella put a steadying hand on Edward’s shoulder. “Step away from the pool table, slick. You’re about to hand this kid the game.” She winked playfully at Jacob as she took Edward aside. “Let me learn you a thing or two.”

 

“I’m good at this game,” Edward said, his smile large and lazy.

 

“Oh, you so aren’t.”

 

Edward shifted on his feet. “Oh. Right. Darts. Darts is the bar game I’m good at.” He looked at Jacob. “We should play darts.”

 

“I’m thinking pool is the way to go,” Jacob said, smirking. He leaned on his pool cue and waggled his eyebrows. “Come on. This sounds like it’s going to be quick and fun for me.”

 

“That what you told your last girlfriend?” Zafrina asked, making the others cackle.

 

“Give me a minute,” Bella said.

 

“That’s cheating,” Jacob said.

 

“Call it a handicap. Now hush.” She turned back to Edward. “Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of genius? This is all about math.”

 

“Math?”

 

“Yes. Math and keeping your stick straight and strong.”

 

He smirked. “I feel reasonably sure I can do the math part. Now tell me more about this straight stick business.”

 

Some minutes later, Bella was fixing his fingers around the pool cue, leaning over him as she guided his hand.

 

“How is this not emasculating to you?” Jacob asked, still teasing.

 

Edward looked up and raised an eyebrow. “Being bent over a pool table by a beautiful woman. This beautiful woman?” He huffed. “Worth it.”

~0~

Edward was drunk. He was also happy. It had been a long time since he’d felt this free. He sat in the booth, humming to himself.

 

“You have some very interesting friends,” Benjamin said, across from him. The girls and Jacob had gone to the restroom and to get the next round respectively. “I always wondered what you looked like when you relaxed. Been a stress-free few months for  you then?”

 

His head lolling on the back of the booth, Edward started to laugh. “Someday, you will understand how unbelievably hilarious that was.” He opened his eyes, staring straight at the ceiling. “But it’s been a good night.”

 

“Yeah. You know the pretty girl adores you, right?”

 

Edward knew he should play it cool, but the smile spread wide across his face before he could help it. “You think?”

 

“I think you could probably get laid tonight, ethics aside. Try again next week with less alcohol, and it’d be a sure thing.”

 

In spite of himself, all Edward’s blood rushed to his cock. He swallowed a groan, shifting in the booth. There were times it was very hard not to remember what it was like to have her pinned beneath him, her breathless laughter shaking the both of them, cut off by a gasp as he entered her.

 

Benjamin laughed. “Been awhile, huh?” He shook his head. “I did try to set you up that once.”

 

“I remember.” Edward straightened up, looking across the bar to where the women were making their way back. “I’m really not a blind date kind of guy.”

 

“The better for me. I went out with Tia myself.” He stretched with a grin. “I’m glad you’re so damn antisocial.” He craned his head back and greeted the returning ladies with a grin. “Did everything come out okay?”

 

Snickering, Zafrina bopped him on the nose. “You’re horrible.”

 

Bella scooted over, flashing a grin at Edward as she pressed up against his side again. “Hey.”

 

Her breath smelled sweet--like the lemon drop she’d drunk last. “Hey,” he said back, reaching up to brush her hair away from her eyes.

 

It was a good night.

~0~

Siobhan drove them home, since neither of them were in any kind of shape to get behind the wheel. They were all in high spirits though. Siobhan wouldn’t shut up about Zafrina. It was cute.

 

“Are you sure you guys will be okay alone?” Siobhan asked, laughing when Edward tripped as he got out of the car.

 

Giggling, Bella got her arm around Edward, holding him up. “We’ll be okay.”

 

“Okay, kids. Be good.” She waved at them as they went up the walk.

 

It took a few tries, but they managed to get inside the house. They stumbled into the foyer together.

 

“So Siobhan and Zafrina…” he said.

 

“Oh, are you still on that? You pervert.” She laughed. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

 

“It’s not that.” He slung his arm around her waist, bringing her to face him. “It’s just funny.”

 

“What’s funny?” Her hand was warm against his chest.

 

“I don’t know.” He sighed, and they swayed together. “Easy love stories.”

 

Bella’s smile gentled. She played with the collar of his shirt. “You never know how they’re going to turn out.” Her eyes met his. “We ran into each other on the library steps.”

 

“That does sound romantic.” He raised his hand to cup her cheek. “And easy.”

 

“You calling me easy?” she asked, teasing.

 

“No,” he answered, serious. “So…”

 

“So.”

 

He tilted his head, looking at her, drinking her in. Her expression was relaxed, serene. So why he chose that moment to ask the next question, he would never know. “That guy from your work. That Jacob kid.”

 

A grin spread across her face, and she giggled and that tipsy, tittering way. “The Jacob Kid. That sounds like an old west gunslinger or something.”

 

He grinned back, momentarily distracted. Her smile was so lovely. Smiles and laughter--they both needed more of that. “He likes you. The notorious Jacob Black.”

 

“I did get that impression,” she said, still smiling. “Of course, I knew that when we danced a few months ago.”

 

A shock went down Edward’s spine. His hands at her waist twitched. “You went dancing with him?”

 

There was mischief in her eyes. “Yes and no. We went out--a few of us from work--to a club. He convinced me to dance with him. I think if I’d stayed at work, he’d have asked me out. Just the two of us.”

 

He had the distinct feeling he was being teased, but she was also telling the truth. His hand spread wide over the small of her back. “Would you have said yes?”

 

Her eyes met his and the mischief faded. “I don’t know.”

 

He shuffled a step closer to her, swallowing more of the space between them. “If he asked you out now, what would you say?”

 

“No,” she said, the word soft. Her hands fell down his shoulders, making him shiver with pleasure.

 

“Because of Katie?” he asked.

 

Their lingering gaze was intense now. Her eyes searched his, and her answer was a whisper of breath. “No,” she said.

  
“Bella…”

 

His words were muddled by drink, but his thoughts had never been more clear. Rather, everything was blurry except her. She was the only thing he saw. He took her face in his hands, lost in her eyes. For the first time in months, his world was simple; an easy love story.

 

It had been years since he’d kissed this woman. Their last kiss had been a shocked, desperate goodbye. This one was like coming home. As their lips met, she sighed into his mouth, her body going soft and pliant against him. He wrapped his arms around her. Nothing, no one, had ever felt as right pressed to his chest. Her lips were soft and responsive to his. Her hands slipped into his jacket, her fingers pressed into his back.

 

They kissed once and again. Tender kisses that quickly turned hungry. Edward’s hands tightened at her waist, his fingers itching to begin tugging and pulling at cloth.

 

With a groan, Bella pulled away from him, panting. She didn’t let go; she simply pulled away from his kiss. His shirt was tangled in her fingers.

 

He kissed her once again, a small kiss, and groaned himself. “We need to stop, don’t we?” he asked, dizzy and breathless.

 

She licked her lips. “Um. Yeah. Yes.”

 

He groaned again and kissed her sweetly. “Are you sure?”

 

She laughed. A shaky sound. “No.” She closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. When she opened them again, her eyes were conflicted but pleading. “I’ve just… I’ve made so many mistakes in my life and had some made for me.” Her fingers traced patterns against his back.

 

“You don’t want this to be one of them,” he said, reaching up to run the backs of his knuckles down her cheek. They were both so very drunk, and everything about their lives uncertain right then.

 

“We were supposed to be trying to be friends,” Bella said.

  
He chuckled and kissed her forehead. “I think we tried that once before and failed then too.” He sighed and kissed her lips once more before stepping away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So!
> 
> How are we doing?


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am exhausted! Moving sucks. Oye. But the worst is over. :) How was your weekend?

Edward was nervous. Thanksgiving weekend was set to be one big deal after another.

Friday, they were going to introduce Katie to her room in their house. They wanted to show her the house and take her out shopping, so she could choose her own paint and furniture. She could even help them paint.

That Friday night would be the first night she stayed over. If it went well, she’d stay over Saturday night, too. They’d be that much closer to taking their baby home for good.

Before all that, though, they had to get through Thursday. Thanksgiving Day they were supposed to act out the pretty picture of the happily ever after, best case scenario. Edward and Bella would be at his parents’ house with their daughter. Charlie and his family would be there as well--two families melding together to form a larger one. Emmett and Jasper would be there--a happy and welcome part of their motley, unique family.

In reality, Edward and Bella would be arriving at Carlisle and Esme’s house without their daughter. She would arrive with Emmett and Jasper, and they were wild cards. Edward was sure they’d be polite, but this was another terrible first for them--the first Thanksgiving they’d have to share their baby, knowing next year they’d be visiting her, not bringing her. Charlie and his family got along well with Edward’s parents, but who knew what would happen when they swirled that whole mishmash together.

So, Edward was nervous.

“Honey, if you chop those carrots any finer, you’re going to have carrot juice.” Esme took the knife from Edward’s hand and smoothed his hair back.

Edward wrapped his arm around his mother’s waist and laid his head on her shoulder. She set the knife down, rubbing his back, and chuckled.

“What’s funny?” he asked.

“I was thinking about last year, when it was just the four of us. Your children get older, and you start to imagine what it will be like when your house is noisy again. Last year, I sat with you and Alice, and thought, wouldn’t it be nice if there was a tiny baby in your arms next year?” She laughed again. “Now, I have a full-fledged grandbaby with unique thoughts, opinions, and sass. And our house is going to be filled with children this year.”

“Not all of them are mine, though.”

“Oh, well. Thank goodness for that.” His mother winked at him. “I’d have been quite alarmed if you had a pre-teen, Edward. Think about that. Being an instant father to an almost-teenage boy?” She gave an exaggerated shiver.

Edward had to smile. His mother had an uncanny ability to dwell on the positive aspects instead of being wrought with anxiety. Edward wished he wasn’t so nervous. He wasn’t oblivious to the fact there were a lot of great things happening here. While he was sure Emmett and Jasper’s intimate Thanksgivings had been wonderful, he was eager to show his daughter what a big Thanksgiving surrounded by family and friends looked like.

Katie had met Carlisle and Esme the week after she met Charlie. While Edward was the tiniest bit jealous, he was also relieved at how easily she took to her grandparents. He had a whole bunch of pictures on his phone now of Katie sitting on the kitchen counter, chatting animatedly with Esme as his mother showed her some carpet swatches she’d been looking at. Then, there was a picture of Katie on Carlisle’s lap, his stethoscope in her ears as she listened to his heart. Carlisle had brought the thing specifically to tempt her, and it worked like a charm.

He sighed. “Is this life, Mom? Do you ever know what you’re doing?”

She scratched behind his ears in a tender motion. “No. Not at all. Though I don’t want you to think this kind of thing is normal, Edward. Life is complicated and difficult, but not to this degree.” She kissed his forehead and let him go. “I think you should mash the potatoes. Somehow, I think you’ll get all the lumps out.”

“Good idea.”

They worked in silence for only a few minutes before Esme started making careful inquiries about Bella. It had been an interesting month in that department, too. Edward and Bella were trying to be friends, trying to forget what it was like to share alcohol flavored kisses. His mother seemed to have noticed the change in the air between them. She wasn’t pushing, but Edward was almost a hundred percent sure she was aware.

“I’m getting almost as frustrated as she is with the job situation. She’s been on so many interviews. But despite the fact she comes home with aching feet and an aching back, she feels a little better now that she has this retail job.” Edward’s lip twitched. She’d been hired on for the holiday season.

“I can hear that tone in your voice, Edward,” Esme said, her own tone light.

Edward mashed with some force. “It’s just… We’re trying to figure out how to be a family. She’s missing part of Thanksgiving because she’s working. She’s probably going to miss part of Christmas. She should be here.”

Esme hummed. “Why does she feel better about it? Did she tell you?”

“She wants to contribute more. She wants to buy everyone presents for Christmas.”

“I figured as much.” Esme moved a pan to the back burner and stirred another. “She’ll be here well before dinner. As for Christmas, we’ll see what happens before then. She’s still looking for permanent work, right?”

“Yes.”

His mother touched his arm and smiled at him. “I’ll tell you something, sweetheart. Life has the worst possible sense of timing. It would be great if you could deal with one aspect of your life at a time, but it’s never going to happen. A good partner is supportive of what their partner needs. She’s needed a break like this, to make a little bit of money to buy her baby a Christmas present without help from her father or one of us.”

Edward stirred the potatoes, checking for lumps. “I guess it was a crappy thing to say.”

“Did you say it to her?”

“No. I’m not that stupid.”

“Then you did the right thing.” Esme patted his back and moved back to the stove. “I know you’re trying to be a good father. It’s a juggling act to be a good father and a good...you know. Whatever.”

Edward smiled, shaking his head slightly. “Partner works.”

“For now,” Esme said, her tone dripping with innocence.

“For now.”

~0~

Less than half an hour later, the doorbell rang. Edward opened the door to find Jasper, Emmett, and Katie on the doorstep. Katie beamed up at him and threw her arms around him. “Hi,” she said cheerily.

Edward put his hand to her head, hugging her back. “Hey, baby.”

Katie moved on to Esme, hugging her with enthusiasm. “Hi again, Grandma Mae.”

“Hello, sweetheart.”

Katie looked around. “Where’s my mommy?”

Edward gulped, crouching down in front of her. “Mommy’s at work, but she’ll be here soon.”

Still smiling, Katie reached behind her to take off the backpack she wore. “Okay. I brought stuff to make. You can make it with me.”

Edward looked to Esme who winked at him. She offered her hand to Katie. “Come on, sweetie. We can go set up while Daddy gets Jasper and Emmett something to drink.”

“Where’s Grandpa?”

“He went to pick up your aunt Alice from the airport.”

“Do you think she’ll like me?”

“Of course she will. Who wouldn’t like the best and prettiest girl in the world?”

Katie giggled. “Grandma, you’re silly.”

As they moved off, Edward turned back to the two men who were staring longingly after Katie from the foyer. Emmett blinked as Edward took the box he was carrying--filled with a crock pot and a covered dish--out of his hands. “Thank you. Come in,” he said.

They shuffled inside, and Edward put their dishes on the dining room table. “Please have a seat. We don’t usually do the game, but if you do, that’s fine. We can turn on the TV.” He turned to find them still standing there, looking somewhat lost. “Do either of you want a beer? Soda?”

The way they looked at him, Edward was almost positive they wanted to start yelling. In their shoes, he’d have had a few choice words. This was a farce. Neither of them wanted to sit here and watch their daughter be absorbed into a family they didn’t choose.

Jasper took a deep breath, glancing at his husband before he looked back to Edward. It was an obvious effort, but he smiled. “Beer would be great.”

Edward smiled back and moved to the ice chest. “Two?”

“Yeah,” Emmett said, his voice trembling just the slightest bit. “Thank you.”

“Katie’s really looking forward to making, um…” Jasper’s lip turned up the slightest bit at the corner. “She made us go through at least a thousand pages on Pinterest looking for the perfect thing to make.” He looked at Edward. “She said you told her it was a family tradition--that everyone six and over has to make something.”

“They talked about traditions in her class a couple of weeks ago. She asked if we had any traditions, and we do. She was happy she was old enough to make the cut and Tyler isn’t.”

Emmett snorted. “Yeah, she hates being told she’s too little to do something.”

“Edward, let’s switch places,” Esme said, coming into the living room. “Your daughter wants to make Oreo turkeys with you.”

It took quite a bit of willpower for Edward not to grin like an idiot. He didn’t think he would ever get tired of hearing his baby wanted him for anything. “Thanks, Mom.”

In the kitchen, he found Katie standing on a chair that had been dragged over to the counter. She was fishing bags of candy and cookies out onto the counter. “Oh good, you’re here.” She took a folded bundle of papers out of her backpack and smoothed it out on the counter. “I need an adult to cut the peanut butter cups.”

“Peanut butter cups? I thought we were making Oreo turkeys.”

She gave him a hilariously disparaging look. “Oreos are the biggest thing. Look.” She patted the paper instructions. “Look, see? It sits on an Oreo, and it has an Oreo as part of the tail and candy corns as the other.”

“Where does the peanut butter cup come in?”

“They’re the little ones.” Katie held up a bagof mini peanut butter cups. “That’s the body. You have to cut a little bit off the back, and I can’t do that. I can’t use a knife. An adult has to do it.”

“Well, I guess I’m your man.”

She looked up at him, mildly perplexed. “You’re my daddy.”

At that, he had to smile. “This is very true.”

~0~

Bella had a headache. And a foot ache. Her hips weren’t great either. She pulled up in front of Esme and Carlisle’s house and paused for a moment. She was already tired because she’d been awake since four in the morning. Gatherings were exhausting. A family dinner with people thrown together because of this bizarre situation was enough to make her want to crawl into the backseat, curl up, and sleep until next week.

Then again, the situation in question was her daughter.

Bella got out of the car and headed up the walk, her steps lighter despite the ache in her feet. Her daughter was in the house, and they were going to have their first Thanksgiving. She wasn’t too tired for that.

She knocked on the door. Edward opened it a moment later, but before either of them could say a word, a high-pitched scream rang out behind him. He turned, and they both watched in vague horror as their daughter launched herself at Tyler, little fists flying.

“Katie!” At least three voices cried out. It was Emmett who got to her first. He lifted her up into the air, away from his body while her limbs flailed.

“Katie Elaina. What’s gotten into you?” Emmett asked, bringing her closer to his body.

She pointed an accusing finger at Tyler, her eyebrows knitted in fury. “He said he’s my uncle.”

“I am,” he said, scowling from the safety of Charlie’s arms. “Mommy and Daddy said so.”

“You’re not!” Katie drew in a huge, gasping breath, her lower lip trembling. “You--”

“Hush,” Emmett admonished. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere where you can calm down.”

He and Jasper both moved toward the stairs as though they’d choreographed the scene. Bella looked to Edward. His expression matched hers--ache for Katie but annoyance at Emmett. They followed the couple and caught up just as Emmett had sat the little girl on the bed.

Katie looked thoroughly miserable by then, anger drained completely from her face as she cried. “Don’t be mad, Da--” She furrowed her brows, her eyes darting between Jasper and Emmett and Edward. “Just don’t be mad at me.”

“No one’s mad at you,” Edward said, speaking over Emmett and Jasper’s similar statements.

Emmett shot him a dirty look but quelled it quickly. “Tell us what happened.”

Katie bowed her head. “Tyler said he and Mike are my uncles,” she said in a soft voice.

Bella knelt by the bed in front of her. “They are your uncles, because they’re my brothers. That’s what uncle means. The sibling--brother or sister--of your mother or father.”

“But I don’t want other uncles!” Her eyes filled with tears again, and she continued to look down at her knees. “My daddies can’t be my daddies anymore, because I have a daddy. So you said, you all said they can be my uncles, and that means they’re special.” She looked up at Emmett and Jasper, tears falling harder. “I want you to be special.”

Jasper scooped her up, and Emmett put his arms around both of them. Bella again glanced at Edward. He looked as uncertain as she felt.

“You know what we all have going on here is complicated and confusing,” Jasper said, his voice soft as he rocked her. He set her on her feet and pulled back, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Edward knelt down near the trio. He took Bella’s hand and tugged her down beside him. “Katie, baby. It’s just that there’s no official name for what Emmett and Jasper are to you. Sometimes, people use Uncle when they mean a person whom you have a special relationship with. Uncle is just a label. You know in your heart what they mean to you. What you feel for them will be different than what you feel for anyone else on the whole planet. That’s what makes it special. That’s what matters.”

She studied Edward, somewhat dubious but less miserable than she’d been a moment before.

“Maybe you could come up with a word,” Bella said.

Katie brightened. “A special word of my very own?” She looked at Jasper. “Like when scientists make discoveries and they get to name things?”

He smiled, though Bella could see it took some effort. “Yeah. I think that would be really nice, sugar.”

She made a face. “If Tyler is my uncle, does that mean he can boss me around?” she asked, still looking at Jasper.

“No,” Bella said before anyone else could.

Katie looked to her. “Do I have to call him uncle?”

“No. You can call him Tyler. But you need to apologize to him, because it wasn’t very nice of you to hit him.”

The little girl ducked her head again. She looked to Jasper and Emmett. “Do I have to?”

Bella and Edward shared another glance, noting the difference between how Katie treated them and how she still looked at the other men. A cold, tired feeling came over her--another reminder of battles yet to fight.

“Yes, you have to apologize to Tyler,” Emmett said. “And I think you should apologize to everyone else for disrupting their day. There’s never an excuse for hitting someone like that.”

At that, Katie looked thoroughly chastened. “Okay,” she said in a small voice. She looked up. “I’m sorry.”

Emmett pulled her toward him, into a tight hug. “It’s okay, baby. I know you have a lot of mixed up feelings about everything going on, but there are better ways to handle them, right?”

“Yes,” she said, her voice still wavering. She stepped back, wiping at her eyes and taking a deep breath, as though she were determined to be brave. She glanced at Edward and back to Jasper. “Do I only have to say sorry?”

Emmett looked perplexed at that, but he answered before Edward could. “Yes. Say you're sorry and mean it.”

Edward closed his mouth, his jaw clenched in what Bella imagined was annoyance. He had been working on getting Katie used to the way he wanted her to apologize; the method he used in his classroom, which was much more than a simple “I’m sorry.” He and Bella had agreed it was the way they wanted to deal with Katie, and the little girl knew that. Bella waited, ready to back his play, but he let the moment pass. They all stood, and Jasper gave Katie a gentle push toward the door.

~0~

All things considered, Thanksgiving was a good, if a little awkward, evening. Carlisle and Esme went out of their way to be especially kind to Jasper and Emmett, making them feel welcome. Not that Charlie wasn’t welcoming, but it was hard to overcome their first meeting. All three of them were polite, but distant.

Alice, Bella observed, had an easier time with the idea of letting bygones be bygones. Despite the fact she’d been there for all of their worst moments, she was easy with Jasper and Emmett. She even got Jasper to crack a genuine smile. Of course, she adored Katie, and the feeling seemed to be mutual.

Despite the fact Bella could see Jasper and Emmett wanted to go home, they were good about staying as long as Katie was happy. That was one question answered at least. The novelty of having such a huge extended family was a positive in the clusterfuck that was their situation.

It was only after Katie had passed out with the rest of the kids that Jasper and Emmett made their good-byes. Edward and Bella, having found a moment to talk things out, followed them outside. Bella’s heart pounded with nerves as she watched Emmett put Katie in the car, coaxing her to go back to sleep.

This wasn’t going to be fun.

“Can we have a second?” Jasper asked as Bella was getting up the courage to ask the exact same question. Emmett stepped up beside him, arm around his shoulders.

Bella and Edward shared a glance, but she nodded. “Yeah, we wanted to talk to you as well.”

Jasper looked to Edward. “When you disappeared earlier, your mom and sister talked to Katie about her room. They want to paint it or something.” He waved a hand. “Anyway. Katie came to us afterward, and she was upset. We think… We think she’s just not ready to stay over. Not yet. Maybe we can put off her sleeping over until after the holidays.”

Bella balked, and Edward was already shaking his head. “No. Absolutely not.”

“If you--” Emmett started, but Edward cut him off.

“Listen. That’s what we wanted to talk to you about.” Edward gestured between himself and Bella. “Our roles in Katie’s lives need to change. I think she loves us. She looks forward to spending time with us. But right now, we’re more like playmates than parents to her. Today made it very obvious who she looks to for guidance, whose word she puts above all others, regardless of what she calls you.”

Bella took a deep breath, stepping in as she looked to both of them. “I will never be able to tell you how thankful I am, if I had to lose her, that she ended up with you. You loved her so well, and I’m grateful.” She took another shaky breath, fighting down the overwhelming emotion. “I wish I could do this without hurting you. I wish I could do this without hurting her, but you have to understand, it’s not your job to raise Katie anymore.”

They both looked so stricken it killed Bella. She really did hate hurting them. She hated that she had to take their daughter away in order to reclaim her.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Emmett said. “We’re not stopping this. We haven’t fought you on anything.”

“And you didn’t correct Katie when Bella told her to do something and she asked you if she had to,” Edward said, his tone even. “You didn’t defer to us.”

“Katie was upset because she was territorial about us,” Jasper said.

“Yes, but you should have let us handle the whole situation when she hit Tyler. It’s our rules she’s going to follow from now on, and our rules aren’t always going to match up with the way you would handle things. You need to follow our lead.”

They bristled. For a second, Bella was sure one of them was about to start yelling. Emmett swallowed hard. “Fine. You want to call the shots. I get that. But what does that have to do with letting her stay home a while longer? Just until she’s ready.”

“She’s never going to be ready,” Edward said, sounding sad. “None of us is ever going to be ready. It’s probably going to be awful, and I’m sure she’s going to think we’re the worst parents in the world. I’m sure you’re going to think the same. It’s going to suck, but it’s time. We gave her a timeline. We’re going to stick to it. And it has everything to do with the way she sees us. She’s known for a while now her life was going to change. It needs to change, so we can all start to adjust.”

The silence after Edward put his foot down was deafening. Bella grabbed his hand, and he squeezed so hard, she nearly cried out. Emmett and Jasper were glaring, animosity strong in the air between them. Bella tensed, waiting for the yelling to start.

“You’re the boss,” Emmett said, his tone dripping with venom. He tugged Jasper’s arm and, wordless, they got into the car, with Katie still peacefully asleep in the backseat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: How are you, dear ones?


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Judging by the comments of my pre-readers, this chapter is le sad.

Friday morning, Emmett woke up gasping. He stared at the ceiling, blinking sporadically through the pain of a kick to the gut and the confusion of being thrown into wakefulness. He turned his head and smiled.

Katie was wiggling, kicking as she slept between Emmett and Jasper. It was only another minute before Jasper woke with a cry, having taken a flailing hand to the face. Emmett chuckled. “Baby,” he said, his voice raw with sleep. “Baby, wake up. You’re beating us black and blue.”

He stroked her unruly hair out of her eyes. Jasper scratched her back. Katie yawned without opening her eyes. “Sorry, Emmy,” she mumbled and promptly fell back to sleep.

For the second time that morning, Emmett felt as though he’d been kicked. He looked up over Katie’s head and saw the same agony he felt reflected in Jasper’s eyes. His husband reached out and cupped his cheek.

They were grieving, their therapists had said. It was a death. In that way, Emmett and Jasper supposed they were lucky. Their baby wasn’t dying. They would get to watch their child turn into a sassy pre-teen, an obstinate teenager, a beautiful young woman.

Their baby wasn’t dying, but it was a death. The death of their dreams. The death of the journey they’d begun when they walked into the social services offices, interested in becoming foster parents with the intent to adopt. The death of the promise they’d made when they took that tiny, helpless baby into their home. Jasper wouldn’t get to help her with her advanced math homework. Emmett wouldn’t get to embarrass the hell out of her giving her the talk. They wouldn’t get to argue over which of them would walk her down the aisle.

Emmett closed his eyes, and Jasper scooted closer, smothering the space between the three of them. Katie grumbled. “Squishing me,” she complained.

Laughing, Emmett pressed a kiss to Katie’s forehead and raised his eyes, looking over at Jasper. They shared a bittersweet smile.

~0~

Emmett had always found brushing Katie’s hair soothing. Someone had once told him a parent’s job was preparing their baby to live without them. One by one, all the things Emmett and Jasper did for Katie, she began to do for herself. She was only six, so that list was limited. Still, she dressed herself, went to the bathroom herself. She could make her own cereal and get the celery sticks and carrots out of the fridge, along with the ranch dressing.

But this? Katie couldn’t do this for herself yet. Katie perched on the edge of the bed, and he carefully brushed out all her tangles. Jasper couldn’t do it. He always made her cry out. Only Emmett was gentle enough.

He wondered if Edward or Bella had the touch.

Emmett swallowed hard. “How about a braid today, baby?”

“Okay.”

Her tone caught his attention. “What are you thinking about?”

She was quiet, thinking. “Mommy and my daddy are going to let me choose all the things for my room.” She played with the hem of her shirt. “Is that cool?”

Emmett knew a thing or two about children and their allegiances. Growing up in the foster system, he’d seen countless parents manipulate their children when they visited. It didn’t take much. As Marcus had explained to them months ago, a child's mind was particularly malleable--not concrete. Their parents were their gods, and they wanted to please.

He’d seen it over and over again as a cop. Parents whispered whatever version of the truth they needed the cops to hear, and that became the child’s reality. He could do it. It wouldn’t even be hard. They still owned Katie’s heart and soul. She was confused. Her allegiance was wavering, but they still had her.

As both a foster child and a cop, he’d seen what happened to children whose allegiances were torn. He could whisper in her ear all he wanted, but he couldn’t take away the knowledge that Edward and Bella were her biological parents, that they loved her, and they had never given her up. Her heart and soul would be shredded. Confusion. Resentment. Fury.

He could ruin his sweet baby girl.

Emmett’s hands shook as he plaited her hair. He had to breathe in through his nose and out again, dispelling his own resentment and fury. She was more important. “Yeah, baby, it’s hecka cool.” He cleared his throat. It was hard to breathe when his ribcage was caving in. “Have I told you anything about the fine art of negotiation?”

~0~

The house was always too quiet when Katie was with her parents, but it was worse today. Today, Emmett knew it wasn’t a matter of waiting until it was time for Edward and Bella to drop Katie off. Katie wasn’t going to come home. He and Jasper weren’t going to be the ones to tuck her in bed. They wouldn’t wake up to the sound of her playing or pleading with them for pancakes.

Emmett was well aware his husband was watching him. They were opposites in their grief. Emmett was restless but also listless. He’d started a dozen projects and hadn’t finished any of them. The kitchen was half clean. He’d even started to work out and just...stopped. Now, he was wandering around the living room, staring out the window, picking things up, putting them down, turning on the TV and turning it back off again.

Jasper sighed and crossed the room. He took the remote from Emmett’s hands and guided him to the sofa to sit down. He tilted his head to rest against Emmett’s. “This is it, babe,” he said, voice soft and broken. “This is the part where we have to figure out how we’re going to survive this.”

Emmett closed his eyes. Jasper was way too good at that. Like he knew Emmett couldn’t sit still because if he did, if he stopped running, the sickening pain that had been gaining on him all day would hit him full force. He was a strong man, but he would be bowed by that pain. It was going to kill him.

“It’s not over yet,” Emmett said. “She’s still coming home.”

Jasper shook his head, his nose brushing Emmett’s cheek. “This isn’t her home. Not anymore. We have to start to accept that, Em.”

Emmett scooted to the side, out of his husband’s embrace, at once furious and so sad he could choke. “Sit back, and let those stupid kids raise our daughter? Like they know what the fuck they’re doing.” He spat the words, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. “Like either one of them went through what we did. They’re going to fuck her up. They’re going to do it wrong. They’re stupid, selfish children,” he said through gritted teeth. “What the hell do they know about raising a kid? We wanted this. We prepared. We planned for years before we got Katie.”

They’d been thirty-two and thirty-five respectively when Katie was born. Settled in their careers. A far cry from the seventeen-year-old girl and twenty-one-year-old boy who couldn’t even be trusted to use contraception correctly.

Edward and Bella were so different from Emmett and Jasper. So often in the past month, Katie had come home from being with them with a whole new attitude. Edward and Bella were strict about things Emmett didn’t agree with, and lenient in ways that made Emmett balk. They were just different. They were doing it wrong.

But that, some distant part of him recognized, was exactly why Edward had put his foot down. Doubtless, Edward and Bella had their own opinions about the way Emmett and Jasper had parented Katie. They wanted to do it right according to their own rules, and that meant that yes, Katie had to be theirs.

His shoulders slumped. He rested his elbows on his knees and ran his fingers through his hair, in a tight grip. Jasper touched his arm lightly. “I’m here with you,” he said.

“Yeah,” Emmett said, his tone bitter. “Like a few months ago when you were so pissed you could barely even look at me?”

For a time, when everything started, Jasper blamed Emmett. He’d been the one to run out the door the second he heard about the genetic test. If he hadn’t assumed Edward knew he was Katie’s father and therefore had to be stalking the girl or something like that, then none of this would have happened.

At the accusation, Jasper stiffened. He stood and paced a few steps away from Emmett and the couch. “We were over that. We’ve talked that out already,” he said, his tone betrayed.

They had. It was one of the first things they hashed out in therapy. Jasper wasn’t really mad at Emmett. He was just mad. They weren’t allowed to get too mad at Edward and Bella. Play nice, or the couple would have every legal option to tear Katie from their arms.

And now Emmett was angry he couldn’t stop this from happening, and he’d lashed out at the one person who deserved it least. He sighed and got up. He wrapped his arms around Jasper’s waist, pulling him back against his chest. “I’m sorry.”

Jasper was quiet for a long minute. “She’s worried about us, you know.”

“Katie?”

“Yeah. She asked me a whole bunch of questions the other night about what we were going to do without her.”

It was a good question. It was one of the more frightening of a long litany of questions Emmett didn’t have the strength to deal with, not with everything else happening.

Their therapists had said more than once that it took effort for a couple to survive a loss. It wasn’t just about grieving together. Emmett and Jasper had to learn how to be a family of two again. They had to learn how to define who they were without Katie.

“Do you remember when we took that trip to New Orleans when she was two?” Emmett asked, resting his head against Jasper’s.

“Of course. We thought she was too young to realize we’d gone to have fun without her.”

“She was mad for two days after we got home.” Emmett swallowed hard. The five days they were gone had been the longest he’d ever been away from his baby before or since.

The house was so quiet.

Right then, Emmett saw something that left him horrified. He released his hold on Jasper and reached behind the sofa, pulling out Katie’s worn baby blanket. When he held it up, Jasper’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no.”

Emmett knew what he had to do.

~0~

“This isn’t a good idea.”

“You already said that, babe,” Emmett said. “And yet you still got in the car.”

Jasper sighed and rubbed his eyes. “We should have gone back for the phones. They’re going to be pissed we came without calling.”

“Katie needs her blanket. You know she can’t sleep without it.” It wasn’t entirely true. Katie had slept just fine without her blanket any number of times, but when she wanted it, she would wake the whole house looking for it. Either way, Emmett had a feeling tonight was going to be a bad night for his baby. If all he could do about it was make sure Katie had her blankie if she wanted it, he was damn sure going to do it.

Of course, as much as he wanted Katie to be happy, the thought that she was perfectly content to be away from him and Jasper terrified him. What if they found her happy to be in her new home with her new parents? It would be wonderful for her, but it would break his heart.

He needn’t have worried. As they got to the front stoop, they could hear crying. Katie crying and screaming. They exchanged a glance and Emmett pounded on the door.

Edward opened the door a long minute later, his expression harried. His eyes went wide when he saw them. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Emmett didn’t answer. With the door open, he could hear exactly what Katie was screaming about.

“I want to go home! I want to go home! I want my, my, my… I don’t want you.”

Emmett pushed past Edward, needing to have his baby in his arms five minutes ago, but the other man grabbed him, hauling him back. “You can’t go up there.”

“She needs us,” Emmett argued. He knew he was strong enough to wrest out of Edward’s grip. In fact, what he wanted more than anything in the world was to shove the man away from him. It was taking every last shred of his rationality to keep himself still. He swallowed hard. “I...We came to give her this.” He held up the blanket. “Let us give it to her. Let us calm her down.”

He took a step forward but Edward stepped with him, looking between him and Jasper, who also looked like he was seconds from darting around him up the stairs. “You can’t. She can’t know you’re here.”

“She wants us,” Jasper said.

“Of course she wants you. That’s why you can’t be here.” Edward looked as furious as Emmett felt . He held his hands out, looking like that kid from the dinosaur movie, taming raptors. “Please leave.”

“What the hell is a matter with you?” Emmett asked through clenched teeth. “She needs us. We called Bella when Katie needed her. We called. You should have called us.” Katie’s cries had devolved into wordless screams, and it was tearing Emmett apart.

“That was different. You know that was different. She didn’t think Bella was real. This is just a fit.”

“This is more than a temper tantrum. You don’t know. You don’t know her. She’s never sounded like this. Let us help her,” Jasper said, and he moved forward.

Edward put a hand to his chest, pushing him back with a firm pressure. Emmett saw red. “Get your fucking hands off my husband.”

“Get. Out. Of. My. House,” Edward said, his tone just as fierce. “Don’t do this. We all knew tonight was going to get ugly. She has to know you’re not going to come rescue her from us. She has to know this is her home, and we’re her parents.” He thumped his chest. “Us. Not you. You storm in here and save the day, we all have to go through this again. You need. To leave.”

They all glared at each other. There was so much Emmett wanted to say. He wanted to call the younger man a monster. He wanted to push Edward down and go get his baby, because he couldn’t stand to hear her in that much pain for another second. Walk away? Surely, Edward had to be insane if he thought he was going to walk away.

“God dammit.” Emmett punched the wall so hard, the plaster cracked. He grabbed Edward by the collar and shook him. “You fucking asshole. You fucking asshole. You think you know what she needs? You stupid prick, look what you’ve done to my family. My family. You’re hurting my baby, and I will hurt you.”

“Emmett.” Jasper’s hand was on his shoulder, the grounding voice of reason as always.

But Edward didn’t look scared. He looked fierce. Protective. He didn’t raise a hand, didn’t raise his voice. “Please leave, and let me take care of my daughter.”

Emmett looked into his eyes and saw so much of what he felt reflected there. Edward was a daddy hellbent on protecting his family, his baby. He could see the hurt there, too. He didn’t want Katie to feel this. He wasn’t backing down from what he believed was right.

Taking a deep breath, Emmett released him. He took a step backward and looked around. He picked up the blankie from where it had fallen. “This might help,” he said, offering it to Edward.

“Thank you,” Edward said, taking the blanket. He held the door open.

Jasper threaded his fingers through Emmett’s. “Come on, Em,” he said, his voice shaky. Her cries were tearing all of them apart.

It was the hardest thing Emmett had ever done. He put one foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Away from his child. It felt unnatural and awful. He did it. Somehow, he did it.

Somehow, he got back in the car and started it and drove away from the sound of Katie’s torment. Somehow he made it as far as the next block before he had to pull over.

That was when the freight train he’d been trying to outrun hit him full force. He started to scream and couldn’t stop. He started to pummel the dashboard and the steering wheel. He didn’t care that Jasper was yelling for him to stop. He didn’t care that he was scaring the man he loved. There was too much pain, and he couldn’t possibly hold it in his body anymore. He wasn’t built for this. Growing up in the foster system, he’d promised himself he would have a family one day, and he would treasure and protect them. He’d put together a beautiful little family. He’d loved them, cared for them, done everything in his power to make them happy. His little girl was, even now, crying for him, and he was supposed to drive further away.

When he had no breath left to scream, he slumped forward over the steering wheel, wracked with sobs. Jasper touched his arm, and Emmett had just enough energy to shift, wrap himself around his husband instead of the steering wheel.

“I need you,” he whispered in Jasper’s ear, his voice a scratchy, trembling, weak noise.

Jasper was trembling just as badly as he was. “I’m here.”

~0~

It was over an hour before they were able to get themselves back home. Emmett hadn’t ever been more exhausted in his life. He walked in the door and stood in the foyer, unable to summon up enough energy to take another step. His insides were mangled except for his heart. There, he felt hollow.

Looking around this home that rang with the echo of his daughter’s laughter, his family’s happiness, Emmett thought he might start crying again. Jasper stood beside him, their fingers tangled, as though he was thinking the same thing Emmett was. How the hell were they going to survive this?

Emmett swallowed. “I want to move,” he said, breaking the silence after minutes.

Jasper started. “What?”

“When this isn’t her home anymore, really isn’t her home, I mean. When she calls their house home, I want to move. Not away. Not away from her. Just away from here.”

He almost expected Jasper to argue. Why take this away from Katie, too? She would visit. Wouldn’t she want to know that something somewhere would remain constant?

Jasper pulled him in and wrapped his arms around him. “Okay,” he said.

It was something.

 **  
**It was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sigh. Everyone needs a hug again, don’t they?
> 
> *hugs all around*


	21. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Merry Monday to you fine people!

In Bella’s relatively young life, she had known a wide range of agony.

There was the quiet, creeping pain of the injuries her mother inflicted on her. Renee’s neglect and verbal abuse had seeped into all the nooks and crannies of Bella’s soul, poisoning and mangling her over time. A parent’s resentment or worse, their apathy, became part of the definition of a child’s identity--a constant reminder to Bella that she was so bad, wrong somehow that she couldn’t even retain the love of the one person who should have loved her unconditionally.

James’s abuse was so much more than just physical pain, though that was far from negligible. With each harsh blow and every cruel word, her stepfather had cut her self-worth and self-esteem to shreds. He had made her own headspace, her own reality an awful place to exist. His were the wounds that had left permanent scars on her psyche, the kind of healed breaks that ached periodically like broken bones when it rained.

Then, there was the rending anguish that was the loss of a child. Death would have been one thing. Death was closure. What happened to Bella’s baby was a constant and persistent torture on her own heart. Bella’s lost baby was a jagged, bleeding wound. It was all skinned flesh and raw nerve endings--the kind of wound so unimaginable, trying to grasp the extent of it drove her to the edge of sanity time and time again.

But none of that could have prepared her for what it felt like to listen to her daughter’s pain. That was a level of agony Bella had no words for. Katie couldn’t be consoled, and Bella had never felt more guilty in her life. She choked on every bad choice she made that had led them here. If only she hadn’t been so stupid.

In the end, Edward had pulled Bella out of her room--the paint was still drying in Katie’s room--and into his. They had to let her cry, he said. This was an eventuality Marcus had done his best to prepare them for. Edward wrapped his arms around her, and they rocked together, both crying almost as hard as their daughter at the culmination of too much pain and confusion. All three of them cried themselves to sleep that night.

Neither Edward or Bella wanted Katie to wake up alone. They crept into the room in the early morning. Edward tucked himself into the sitting chair Bella had brought from her old living room. Bella lay on the bed, and as much as she wanted to hold Katie, she was careful not to touch her.. She didn’t want to make things worse.

It was only about a half hour before Katie woke. Her eyes fluttered open, and she winced.

Bella reached out and caressed her hair with a tentative touch. When Katie didn’t protest, she stroked her hair back. “Does your head hurt, sweetie?”

Katie’s lower lip trembled, but she took a deep breath and nodded. Bella pressed a thumb behind her ear, massaging. “How about some Tylenol? I know it probably doesn’t taste very good, but it’ll make your head feel better.”

As soon as Katie nodded again, Edward took off. He came back a minute later, Children’s Tylenol in one hand and an apple juice box in the other. Bella helped her sit up, and Katie dutifully took the little plastic cup of medicine and sipped at her juice. She didn’t look at either of them.

“How are you feeling today, baby?” Edward asked, brushing his fingers down her cheek.

At that, Katie finally looked up. She pressed her lips together as though trying not to cry. “Are you guys mad at me?” she asked in a heartbreakingly broken voice.

“No,” Bella said at the same time Edward said, “Of course not.”

Bella wrapped her arm around Katie and drew her close. “We talked about all of this, remember? It’s okay, Katie. So many things are changing. It’s very scary. Sometimes, when things are out of control, we get very upset. Are you upset now?”

“No,” Katie said a little too quickly.

“It’s okay if you’re still upset,” Edward said. “Just talk to us.”

Katie screwed her mouth up on one side. “Do you think Emmy and Jasper are mad?”

“Not at all. No one is mad at you.”

The little girl was quiet, thinking. Bella smoothed her hair back. “It’s still early. Do you want to sleep some more?”

Katie nodded. She let Bella curl her closer as they both lay down. Edward started to get up, but before he could get far, Katie rolled onto her back. She reached for him. “You sleep too,” she said. “With me and Mommy.”

Edward’s eyes darted to Bella. She scooted to the edge of the bed. “Yeah. Come on, Daddy. Let’s go back to sleep.”

With Bella’s permission, Edward let Katie pull him into bed. They all wiggled, finding a good position. The vice grip around Bella's heart began to ease, at least enough that she thought she could breathe again. Katie burrowed up against her, and hope, all but extinguished the night before, flickered back to life stronger than ever.

Bella closed her eyes, briefly overwhelmed by the enormity of the moment. Last night had been horrible--among the worst in her life. But here she was, her baby nestled safe in her arms. It was only understandable Katie would have her moments. They all would, but it didn’t mean she was unhappy. She’d been happy enough the day before. Well, she’d alternated between uncertainty and excitement. She’d loved choosing her own bed and furniture.

Katie’s breath evened out after only a few minutes, and Bella raised her eyes to look at Edward. His smile, as he looked back, was a reflection of what she felt--peaceful and, for the moment, serene. He didn’t speak. He reached out and caressed Bella’s cheek, running the pad of his thumb along the shape of her face.

Their little family. Bella sighed, letting the happiness of the moment lull her back to sleep.

~0~

Late that evening, when Jasper and Emmett arrived for dinner, Edward met them in the driveway. They seemed tense, which was understandable. Edward wasn’t surprised to see Emmett’s hand was in a cast. The knuckles of his other hand were scraped too. Obviously, he’d beat up another wall somewhere.

“About last night--” Edward started, but Emmett waved his good hand.

“I want to hire a handyman to fix your wall. If that’s okay.”

“Easier than saying you’re sorry, right?” Edward huffed, and continued before either of them could say anything. “I’m sorry. That was antagonistic.” He crossed his arms. “Look. She wants you. We all know she wants you. But she’s beginning to want us, too. She’s beginning to want to be here with us. Please don’t make that harder for her.”

“You know that’s not what we’re trying to do,” Jasper said. “But hearing her cry like that--”

“Whose fault was it that you were here for that?”

Emmett held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Okay. You’re right.” His jaw flexed. It was obvious he didn’t like having to admit it. “What do you want us to do?”

Before he could speak, the front door opened, and Katie came running out. She launched herself into the air, and Jasper caught her. He wrapped her up in a bear hug. Emmett put a hand to his shoulder and pressed a kiss to Katie’s forehead. “Hey, sugar,” Jasper said, pulling back.

Katie kissed his cheek and turned to do likewise with Emmett. She gasped and pointed to his hand. "Are you hurt? Oh no."

"It doesn't hurt so bad," he said, holding it up for her inspection.

Katie took his big hand between her small ones and examined it, running her fingers along the ridges of the cast. She leaned in and kissed it. "There."

Emmett's smile was adoring and his voice gruff with emotion when he spoke. "Thank you, beautiful girl. It feels much better now."

Jasper cleared his throat, giving Katie a bounce to draw her attention away from Emmett's watering eyes. “How was today and yesterday?”

Katie looked between him and Emmett, her expression gone cautious. Edward flexed his fists at his sides, instantly on the defensive. At the school where he worked, he’d often seen a child’s perspective change instantaneously depending on their parents’ reactions. An activity they’d enjoyed all day would suddenly become dull when they saw a parent’s disdain. A proud achievement would be shrugged off when a parent didn’t express enthusiasm or worse, told the child they could have done better.

“My grandpas are putting together all the things Grandpa Carlisle bought me,” she said, testing the waters.

“That’s pretty awesome,” Emmett said, smiling at her. “You want to tell us about it?”

She brightened. “I got so many cool things. My bed is like a bunk bed with steps instead of a ladder, because I don’t like ladders. But instead of a bed on the bottom, there’s a desk.

“Sounds fancy.”

“You want to see it?”

“Of course,” Jasper said, setting her on her feet. She took his hand and Emmett’s.

“Come on. I’ll show you. Grandma and Aunt Alice put planets and stars on the ceiling. It’s so pretty.” There was a hop in her step as she dragged them inside. “And I found a fan that has stars on it too. Grandpa Charlie says he’ll put it up when he visits next week.”

Edward’s released his breath in one long gust. He followed the three of them inside. If all went well, they would have dinner together. Then Emmett and Jasper would leave, and Katie would spend one more night with Edward and Bella. Hopefully a better night than the last.

~0~

“Mommy?”

Bella raised her head from where she’d been bent over the sink, brushing her teeth. She spat and wiped her mouth. “What’s up, buttercup?”

Katie giggled at that, and the sound of her laughter made Bella smile. She’d been quiet since everyone else left. Bella was just waiting for a repeat of last night's epic fit.

"Why do you have a different room than my daddy?"

Bella almost choked. That was a question she'd been both dreading and not expecting to come so soon. Surely Katie’s mind was preoccupied with other things. She covered by hitting her toothbrush on the side of the sink. She cleared her throat. "Umm."

"Are you and my daddy married?"

"No. We're not."

Katie furrowed her brows, trying to figure that one out. "Are you divorced?"

"No, baby. We were never married."

"Why? Don't you love my daddy?"

What a question. "Yeah, I love your daddy. But there are a lot of different kinds of love. There’s more to marriage than love." She put her arm around Katie's shoulder and drew the little girl into her arms. "But it's okay. We're both here with you, little love. And we're going to be here for you."

Katie said nothing to this. She wrapped her arms around Bella’s waist, resting her head against her side.

After a moment, Bella picked Katie up and settled her on the counter. She handed her the singing toothbrush--1D, God help her--and the toothpaste. When Katie's teeth were clean and she was in her nightgown, Bella took her hand to walk with her to Edward’s room where he was sitting up in bed, reading.

Rather than say goodnight as she was meant to do, Katie clambered into the bed, under the covers, and settled down, tucked up against Edward’s leg. The look of shock on his face would have been priceless if Bella wasn’t so surprised herself.

“What are you doing, baby?” Edward asked, peering down at her.

“I want to sleep here tonight.”

“O-kay,” Edward said, glancing at Bella to check if she thought it was a good idea. She shrugged, offering a small smile, trying to hide her disappointment. She’d been secretly hoping Katie wouldn’t want to sleep by herself tonight.

“You and Mommy.”

A chill went down Bella’s spine, and she stared at her daughter. “Katie, I don’t--”

Katie turned big, wide eyes on her. “Please, Mommy. Please.”

Oh, hell. The child had a secret weapon. Bella looked at Edward, shy and uncertain. They’d all slept together in the same bed that morning, but it was different somehow. It had been daylight then.

Bella huffed. She felt her cheeks heat, and that was ridiculous. What the hell were they going to get up to with a child between them?

It was a small comfort that Edward’s cheeks were glowing about as red as hers felt. He was smiling though, an amused smile. They both knew they were being manipulated. Edward patted the bed beside him. “Come on, Mommy. Come to bed.”

Both Edward and Bella turned their attention to Katie for a time, watching. The night before she’d begun to devolve in steps. First was that pensive look--the same she wore now--then the trembling lower lip, and finally she’d begun to beg to go back home until she had driven herself into a frenzy.

Hoping to comfort her before all that started again, Bella scratched along Katie’s scalp. She had vague memories of staying over at her Gran Marie’s house when she was very little. She remembered how her gran’s fingers moving through her hair soothed her.

Edward, likewise picking up on the beginnings of Katie’s distress, began to hum quietly. It was a soft song, and it took Bella a few minutes to recognize where it came from. It was a song she’d heard Carlisle singing to himself when he thought no one was listening.

She wondered if it was something that had comforted Edward as a child. What a strange, wonderful thing to think that maybe, many years from now when Katie had a child of her own, she would remember the way both her parents comforted her when she was upset. The melding of a family. Like she could see herself and Edward in Katie’s features, would she be able to see both of them in her personality?

Parenthood was a hell of a thing.

Their efforts worked. Katie stayed calm. She yawned, tucked herself tighter against Edward’s side--kicking Bella in the shins in the process--and fell asleep.

“Ooof,” Edward said a minute later. “The child wiggles.”

“Flails, I think is the better word.” Bella met Edward’s eyes. “I can go back to my bed, if you want. That would give you room. Or I can take her with me.”

“Is that what you want?” He reached out as he had that morning, and tucked a strand of hair behind Bella’s ear. “I’m not uncomfortable. Are you?”

“No.” That was the strange thing. Only a few short months ago, she had moved out on her own, away from her father and her siblings for the first time in six years. It was surreal to be here in this bed with Edward and their daughter. Surreal, and yet this wasn’t awkward. She was comfortable with him.

Bella smirked. “Well, I’d hate to think what Katie would say if we tried to get around her order.”

“She knows what she wants.”

At that, Bella’s smile fades. “I think she wants what she had--her parents in the same bed.”

“That’s understandable,” Edward said, and Bella could tell he was choosing his words carefully. “So much has changed. She’s searching for familiarity wherever she can get it.”

Bella hummed. “That could get interesting.”

 **  
**Edward chuckled--a wry sound. “Yeah.” He scratched his fingers briefly along Bella’s scalp just like she’d done for Katie not that long before. She closed her eyes against the jolt of electricity his touch kindled, but she sighed, soothed. “Go to sleep, Bella,” he said, his voice rough from whispering. “I’m beginning to figure out parents need as much sleep as they can get. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Shorty chapter.
> 
> How are you, my friends?


	22. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry, guys. I gotta break it before I can fix it. That’s why I’m posting on Sunday, coz Mondays shouldn’t be weighty. *hugs*

December passed. The time, the agony of it, was slow. Despite Jasper and Emmett’s wish that they would never have to let their child go, there was also something nerve-wracking about the lead up. They were in limbo, waiting for the final, terrible break.

Yet, time also flew by too quickly. They lived for the scraps of time they got with their daughter. She spent longer stretches with her parents. Less and less of her belonged to them. There was a countdown that had begun the minute Jasper had printed out the result of all the genetic tests Katie had run on her classmates and found that one, impossible match. Since that minute, Jasper and Emmett’s nights as Katie’s daddies were numbered. They couldn’t stop the onward march of the clock. They couldn’t keep their baby safe with them.

The night before New Year's Eve was the last night.

December had been equal parts happy and horrible for Katie. She was torn. She was happy in both her homes. She was worried about Emmett and Jasper, and yet she would have been sad for her mommy and daddy if, by some miracle, they’d been able to keep her. There were days she was miserable with the sense of betrayal she was unable, at such a young age, to articulate.

Their last night, Katie was quiet and clingy. She didn’t leave their side. She ate breakfast on Jasper’s lap, lunch on the couch squished between them, and dinner on Emmett’s lap. They played together. She smiled, but joy never lit her features. It was a somber day, and try as he might, Jasper couldn’t make it better. He knew Katie was picking up on their grief, but there was nothing to be done about it. Jasper and Emmett were dying inside.

Katie’s bedtime came and went. Jasper knew they should be trying to keep things steady and normal for her, but fuck that. At three o’clock tomorrow afternoon, Katie wouldn’t live here anymore.

It was clear to Jasper that Katie wasn’t really watching the movie they had on. She stared straight ahead, worrying her lip between her teeth. He shut off the TV and pulled her onto his lap, scooting over so he was pressed to Emmett’s side.

“You can talk to us, sugar,” Jasper said, stroking her hair back from her eyes.

“I know,” she said, her voice quiet. Not sad or angry. Just quiet.

“How do you feel?” Emmett asked.

“I don’t know.” She didn’t look at them but kept staring straight forward.

“What are you thinking?” Jasper tried.

Katie was silent for a moment. Her lower lip jutted out. “I think…” She furrowed her brow and played with the hem of her nightgown. “I think it’s no fair that someone took me from Mommy and my daddy when I was a baby, but it’s no fair that you have no more babies neither.”

Emmett sucked in a sharp breath. The words hurt to hear. Jasper kissed the top of her head.

“Things are supposed to be fair,” she said plaintively.

“I know, baby,” Jasper said, his voice shaky as he tightened his arms around her. “They teach you that in school, don’t they? That things should be fair.”

Katie nodded.

“You should always try to be fair,” Emmett said, touching his fingertips to her cheek. “But sometimes, Little Bit, that’s just not possible.”

She hunkered down against Jasper. “I don’t understand,” she whispered.

Jasper hugged his baby, and looked at his husband, seeing all the things he felt reflected in his conflicted, brown eyes. He was angry at the injustice of it. Angry, devastated, resentful--all the poisons on the emotional spectrum. Jasper closed his eyes tightly, because Katie was already hurting. She didn’t need to feel their torment on top of her own.

He leaned his head against Emmett’s cheek, the three of them snuggling as close as possible together. “Did you know that everything in the world had to be discovered?” he asked, making his voice as light as he could. “There was a time when no one on Earth knew how things worked.”

Katie screwed up her nose and tilted her head to glance up at him. “You mean like scientists figure things out.”

“Yes. Scientists and other people. There was a time when no one understood how anything worked, and no one knew how to explain about the things that happened. Like why some people died young or some people were born sick. Things like that. So, before they knew the real reasons for things, they made up stories. Stories are easier to understand sometimes.”

“And stories end happily ever after,” Katie said. All the stories they told her ended happily ever after.

Jasper smiled though his heart panged. “Yeah, baby. Most times. So I’m going to tell you a story.”

Katie wiggled on his lap, settling in to listen, her head on his shoulder. She picked up Emmett’s big hand in both of her little ones and began to play with his fingers as she’d done so many times before.

“So there was a princess,” Jasper said.

“You have to say ‘once upon a time,’” Katie said.

Emmett snickered, and Jasper smiled. “Of course. I’m sorry. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Bella.”

Katie gasped. “That’s my mommy.”

“Hush, sugar. You’re getting ahead in the story. First, there was just Princess Bella. Now, the life of a princess should be beautiful, but Princess Bella’s life wasn’t. There were mean people that made her life sad and hard.”

“Oh no.”

“Then, one day, Princess Bella met a handsome prince named Edward. They had adventures together. She made him laugh, and he made her happy. They fell in love.”

Over Katie’s head, Emmett grimaced. It was a point of contention with him. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around what Edward and Bella had been to each other, what they were supposed to be now, and how any of this had happened. He was a cop and naturally suspicious about the whole thing. Part of him, despite seeing how desperately Bella wanted her child back, still thought she’d abandoned the baby by a dumpster.

But Katie didn’t need to hear any of that. What she needed right now was to hear the simplest version of her story.

Jasper continued. “What Edward and Bella didn’t know was that there was a monster after Princess Bella. It came upon her when she was alone, and she had to run away from her kingdom to get away from the monster.”

Katie turned her head to hide her eyes against Jasper’s neck in mild fright.

“The thing was, the princess was going to have a baby. She ran to protect herself and her child. She found herself far away from home, all alone, with bad people coming after her. She had her baby, a beautiful little princess, but before she could make sure her precious girl was safe, the bad people came.”

“Oh no,” Katie groaned, clinging to Emmett’s hand.

Jasper rubbed her back. “There was a big fight. Princess Bella was hurt, and a bad person stole her pretty baby.”

“Oh no. Oh no,” Katie chanted.

“It’s okay, sugar. See, the bad person, she put the baby princess down and left her alone, which was a very careless thing to do. But bad people don’t do the right thing.”

“What happened? What happened to the baby princess?”

“Well, it just so happened that a humble peasant and his handsome husband were walking through the woods that day.”

Emmett snorted at this, a small smile playing at his lips.

“They found the baby,” Jasper said. “Now, this couple had no children of their own and so much love to give. They looked, and when they couldn’t find the baby’s mother or father, they took her home with them. They named her Katie and made her their very own.” He swallowed a thick lump in his throat. “They thought they were the luckiest peasants in the whole wide world.”

This was still true. They were all so very lucky. It would have taken a small twist of fate for their story to have a much different outcome. If Bella and Katie had remained connected, they would have likely died together. Or baby Katie, her body so much smaller and frailer than her mother’s, would have died while Bella barely survived. If the woman who had taken Bella’s baby hadn’t overdosed, Katie might have been raised on the street with a mother who was erratic at best. Any number of things could have happened to a helpless baby after Sasha overdosed.

They’d been lucky, even if it didn’t feel like it right then.

“For six years, the couple took care of Katie and loved her. They did their best, and the little princess grew up from a tiny baby to a brilliant, gorgeous little girl. And they were happy.”

Jasper closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This part of the story was the hardest. “But the thing is, for those same six years, while the two peasants were happy with the little treasure they’d found, Princess Bella and Prince Edward were horribly, horribly sad. They didn’t get to see their baby’s first smile or hear her first word. They didn’t get to see her grow and learn. For six years they were scared, because they thought the bad guys had gotten away with their princess.”

This was what he had tried to tell himself over and over every time he lamented how unfair it was he wouldn’t get to raise his baby. None of this was fair. It wasn’t fair that Bella had suffered tremendously while Jasper and Emmett had been happily raising her lost child.

“That’s so sad,” Katie said, her tone mournful.

“It is. They were very sad, until one day, against all odds, they found their long lost princess.”

Emmett took a shuddering breath, and Jasper looked to him as he finished the story. “Princess Bella and Prince Edward welcomed their daughter home. They were so happy. They would finally get to watch their daughter grow and learn. They get to live happily ever after with their beautiful princess Katie.”

“But that’s not all the story,” Katie said.

“No?”

“What about the peasants?”

It was Emmett who answered her. He pulled Katie into his arms, kissed her, and cuddled her. “The good princess and prince invited the peasants to live in their kingdom,” Emmett said with only a hint of sarcasm. “The peasants will be around, honey. Everyone in the kingdom loves the long lost, little princess.”

“Hmm.” Katie didn’t sound quite satisfied with that answer. “You know what I think?”

“What do you think?” Jasper asked.

She twisted her lips. “I think the peasants should find another baby. A baby all their own, so they won’t be sad.” She turned her head, hiding her face against Emmett’s chest. “But I don’t think they should forget about Princess Katie.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Jasper put his arms around her and Emmett, and they all clung to each other. “That’s just not going to happen. Who could ever forget about someone as sweet and special as Princess Katie?”

His voice cracked, and he tilted his head to lean against Emmett’s. He wasn’t going to cry. Not yet. He’d cried so much and so often these last few months. Tears of anguish, frustration, and helplessness. But this was something altogether different. This was total and utter destruction, and he couldn’t afford to let himself feel it yet. Not yet.

He found Emmett’s hand and squeezed as hard as he could, trying to ground himself. No, this time, once he started crying, he didn’t think he was going to be able to stop. His life, this life, was about to end, and it wouldn’t go peacefully. No, this was going to hurt. This was going to rip his guts out of him only to shove them back in shredded and bleeding. Not only that, but there wouldn’t be the relief of death. His body would survive, even if his heart didn’t.

So no. He couldn’t cry yet.

Katie fell asleep soon after that. She fought it, but she couldn’t help but succumb. Emmett and Jasper sat in silence. After a time, Emmett huffed. “I can’t tell if it’s better or worse to know in advance what’s going to be the worst day of your life,” he muttered.

Jasper had nothing to say to that. There was nothing to say that hadn’t been said. They’d raged, cried, begged, and prayed. This wasn’t what they wanted for their daughter. How could they help but see what Edward and Bella lacked? They were lax in places Emmett and Jasper were strict and vice versa. They’d celebrated Christmas at midnight on Christmas Eve instead of on Christmas morning. They weren’t bad people, nor would they be bad parents, but they weren’t the parents Emmett and Jasper thought their daughter deserved.

Of course, by the same token, Edward and Bella were also sure they were better parents for Katie than Jasper and Emmett could be. It was a happily ever after ending, after all. A happy ending was what they called it when kidnapped children were found and reunited with their parents.

In practice, life was never that simple.

Eventually, Jasper and Emmett rose, bringing Katie with them to their bed. They slept fitfully, each waking several times to find the other staring at their sleeping daughter.

When Katie woke, they put on the brave faces they’d been wearing for months now. Emmett combed her hair, and Jasper made them breakfast. They did a puzzle in the living room.

At lunchtime, they all got in the car. Jasper and Emmett had to pretend it didn’t feel like they were driving to their own deaths. Edward and Bella’s house was filled to the rafters. It was New Years Eve. Charlie and his family were there as well as all the Cullens. Jasper and Emmett watched as Katie was pulled naturally into her new family. She loved them and was loved by them. She grinned happily, and it was both the best and worst thing Jasper had ever seen.

When she was distracted, busy running around with Tyler and Angela, though every step was like a fresh stab wound, Jasper and Emmett walked away. It was impossible and terrible. It was every bad moment, every heartache, every physical pain, every horrible, awful moment either of them had ever had rolled into one heartrending feeling. On top of it all, Jasper was bewildered. He couldn’t comprehend how he kept breathing when his lungs were filled with burning hot lead, and his shoulders were stooped under the weight of an agony he had no words for.

Somehow, they got in the car. Somehow, they drove away without their daughter. Somehow they made it up the drive and into the house.

It was quiet. It was far, far too quiet, devoid as it was of the happiness and light Katie had brought with her when they first welcomed her into their home.

Neither of them seemed to be able to move further than the foyer. That was all the strength they had left. They sunk to the floor together, and when it was clear their bodies would keep breathing despite the fact their hearts had stopped, they clung to each other and started to cry.

Life, as they knew it, was over.

~0~

Not so far away, Edward, standing beside Bella, watched out the window as their daughter played. She ran around the backyard, cheeks red from the biting cold, playing with her aunt and uncles as her grandparents watched. Mikey scooped her up, swinging her around as she screeched in pleasure.

 **  
**Edward looked to Bella and beamed, seeing his happiness reflected in her eyes. Their daughter was home for good, and she was happy. Oh, likely there would be tears and struggle ahead, but she was with them. Edward leaned in and kissed the side of Bella’s mouth, nothing but thankful in that moment that she had given him this gift--their gorgeous daughter. He took her hand and tugged, ready to join the rest of their family, a new life about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m going to work on updating this again in the next couple of days, kids. So many thanks to my girls, Barburella, Packy, MoH, jessypt, songster. 
> 
> And thanks to you for bearing with me. We’re in the home stretch now.


	23. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry. This week got away from me. Sigh.

Katie was upset that Emmett and Jasper had left without saying goodbye, but that was to be expected. There was no way they were going to get through that last night without tears, but it had been decided between the adults that it would be best for Emmett and Jasper to leave when Katie was distracted. It was as clean a break as they were going to get.

After that were two difficult weeks. Edward and Bella had asked Emmett and Jasper for two weeks. Two weeks where they would have their daughter to themselves, where seeing her former daddies wasn’t an option. Actually, everyone was supposed to stay away. No grandparents, aunts, uncles. Just Edward, Bella and Katie, so they could get used to being their own unit within their larger, sprawling family.

It was amusing in some ways. More than once, Katie had smirked with mischievous pleasure when she ‘tricked’ Edward and Bella into letting her do something she thought she wasn’t supposed to do. She thought she was getting away with breaking rules when they allowed her to have a soda or to watch television in the afternoon. In reality, Edward and Bella simply believed in moderation rather than outright denial.

On the other hand, she’d also railed against rules she’d never had before. Katie was ever so slightly spoiled. She would put her own toys away, but she’d had no other chores living under Emmett and Jasper’s roof. Edward and Bella were of the opinion a small child should be expected to clean up after themselves. Sometimes, Katie liked climbing up on her little stool so she could wash off not only her plate but her parents’ as well as they all helped clean the kitchen. Other times, when she didn’t want to clean up messes she hadn’t had to before, she cried and ranted and begged them to let her talk to Emmy and Jasper, most likely so she could complain about how poorly she was being treated.

“Makes me wish I had Cinderella,” Bella said to her father over lunch one day. Her tone was wry, but she smiled with fondness despite herself. “She’s such a drama queen sometimes.”

“Mike had a terrible dramatic streak when he was three or so,” Charlie said. “Whenever he would break something--which was every other hour some days--he would throw himself on the mercy of the court. He’d get down on his knees with his hands clasped and say, ‘Don’t hate me, Daddy, please.’” Charlie chuckled, shaking his head. “I never knew whether to laugh or cry.”

“That’s heavy.”

“That’s parenthood.” Charlie cocked his head, looking her over. “Motherhood is a good look on you, Bells. I’ve never seen you this happy.”

Bella started at that. Was she happy?

Most days she felt overwhelmed more than anything else. She was constantly second guessing herself, especially when Katie was upset or sad. She kept wondering if her daughter would ever look to her with all the trust and love children gave their parents. Katie did love her, but she still didn’t look at her like she had Emmett and Jasper. It wasn’t the same, and it was worse for Edward.

But…

Her baby came home after school and ran to tell her all the things she’d done that day, showed off her art and her projects. She climbed onto Bella’s lap to ask endless questions and chat about all the little girl things that filled her head. She hadn’t told Bella she loved her, but she hung on to her frequently, hugged her, kissed her, and cuddled up against her when they were all watching television together.

Mostly, after so many years, so many endless nights of wondering what had happened to her baby, Bella would never get over how amazing it was to simply know. She always knew where her baby was now, and more often than not, she could just stare if she wanted.

Bella couldn’t fight her smile. “I am happy. It’s hard. I don’t know what I’m doing at all, but it’s like…” She rubbed her palms together, considering her words. “I wanted to be better for her. When I was pregnant, I used to talk to her and tell her I’d be a good mother, a good person.”

She looked down at the table, unable to look her father in the eyes. “I don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there. She saved me first--my baby. I was getting into some really bad things.” She’d started to drink, started to self-medicate with drugs, started to hang out with the wrong kind of people. “When I got pregnant, I stopped that, because I did want to be better for her. If you hadn’t been there, I would have gone back, I think. God, I wanted to. I wanted to forget for a little while, it hurt so much.” She rubbed at her chest, soothing the phantom ache there.

“I think about it all the time. If I hadn’t lost her, what kind of a mother could I have been? What kind of a mother can I be now? I can’t give her so much of what Emmett and Jasper gave her.” Bella wrung her hands as she glanced up at her father. “But I did get better. Even without having her, I got better with you, Karen, and the kids. I think I’ve gotten better at being a mother even though I didn’t have her. Now that I do, it’s like…I don’t want to say I’m complete, because that makes it sound like I’m perfect, and I’m not.” She laughed. “I’m so not, but it’s like I built my new life around this Katie-sized hole, and now she just fits. Does that make any sense?”

“Of course it does. I think most parents build themselves around the things they want to pass on, the person they want to be when they grow up.” Charlie gestured vaguely around them. “This is growing up.”

Bella glanced up at her father and smiled. “A crash course, huh? I had to grow up really quick when I got pregnant at seventeen.”

“Oh, honey. I think you grew up a long time before that.” Charlie’s lip twitched. “If your mother had told me…” He shook his head. “Anyway. Turns out I had a Bella-shaped hole in my life, and I didn’t know it. I can't imagine my life without you, kid. You, my beautiful granddaughter, and I can even appreciate Edward, you know...a little. "

Bella grinned. "He's good to us."

Charlie grunted, but he nodded. "Speaking of which, is the kid still trying to lay the parent trap?"

"She does try to make sure we do things together, and she still insists on sleeping with both of us." Bella blushed only a little. Charlie had seen her at her worst, after all. What was talking to her father about being in the same bed as her baby daddy to that?

"You should start getting her used to sleeping on her own soon."

"I know. It's just nice to have her right now. It's only been two weeks." She cocked her head, considering. "Plus, it makes it easy for Edward and I to connect. Every other minute of the day we're working or busy with Katie. That bit of time after Katie falls asleep is when we can talk about how we're doing with her."

Charlie fixed her with a sardonic expression. "That's an advantage of sleeping in the same bed as your partner. Sometimes, it's the only time you have to talk.”

He studied her a moment, and then huffed out a breath. Bella tensed. He had that look on his face that said he was going to talk about something he wasn’t comfortable with. “I’m going to say this to you not because I think you need my blessing, but because I know you get it in your head you’re not capable of handling things because of what you’ve been through. I’ve seen the way you look at Edward.”

“Dad,” Bella said with a groan.

“And I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It’s pretty natural. You live together. You have a baby.”

Bella hid her face behind her hands. “Oh hell.”

“All I’m saying, Bella, is if all that’s stopping you i s the possibility you might mess things up, don’t worry about it. The two of you both have good heads on your shoulders, and that’s more than a lot of couples will ever have.”

~0~

It was surprising how quickly life settled into a routine.

Bella found a steady job working customer support in early January, so mornings were hectic. Up until a month before, both Edward and Bella had been breakfast bar on the run kind of people. Now they had to slow down enough to make sure Katie was dressed, prepared for school, and sent off with a full tummy.

After school, Katie stayed with Edward in his classroom until he was ready to go home. Evenings were divided between homework, playtime, and dinner. Katie got a story from Bella or a song from Edward, kisses and hugs from both her parents, and assurances that the nightlight would stay on. Sometimes she stayed in her bed. Sometimes she ended up with one of them. Sometimes they all ended up in the same bed, a little family curled together.

The weekends were usually a mishmash of time spent together or with the family. They usually saw Emmett and Jasper for at least a couple of hours. Together. Edward and Bella were still a little wary of leaving Katie alone with them lest it set them, Edward and Bella, back in their relationship with their daughter.

Late one Saturday morning in February, Edward hit the mall alone with Katie for a little daddy-daughter bonding time. Of all the relationships, theirs was still the most strained. She was friendly with him, but leaned more on Bella. She still referred to him only as my daddy as a title rather than call him Daddy by name.

Still, she trusted him. She held his hand and plastered herself against his side whenever anyone smiled or waved at her. Edward petted her hair in reassurance, leading her over to the mall directory. “So what do you want to get for Grandma’s birthday?”

“Hmm.” Katie tapped her lips, staring up at the sign. “What’s this one?” She pointed to one of the bigger blocks.

“Nordstrom, and that’s way out of our league.”

She craned her head, looking up at him. “What does that mean?”

“It’s too much money, sweetie. Try again.”

Katie looked at the stores and pointed to another at random. “How about here?”

“Bath and Body Works. That’s doable. Do you want to get Grandma some nice smelling soap.”

“That’s boring.”

“My bad. My bad.” He ruffled her hair. “Maybe you should tell me what type of thing you want to get her.” He pointed at a store. “Books from Barnes and Noble? Or maybe something from Things Remembered. She might like that. A silver box for her jewelry with Grandma on it.” Edward smiled. It was still a little bizarre to think his mother was a grandmother. “We could get Grandma Esme etched on it.”

“Is it fancy? Grandma is a fancy lady.”

Edward laughed and looked down at his daughter. “What does that mean?”

“Well, her hair is always very pretty, and her makeup is never smudgy. She’s very neat. She never gets dirty at all. And she works in fancy houses.”

“That does sound pretty fancy.” He offered her his hand again. “Why don’t we head over to Things Remembered and see if there’s something you like?”

Katie was agreeable. “What about Valentine’s Day?” she asked as she walked.

“What about it?”

“Mommy is your sweetheart, right? Sweethearts are supposed to give each other things on Valentine’s Day. Not cards or candies like at school, but something special. And you should go out to dinner, too. And bring her flowers.”

“Hmm.” Despite his amusement, Edward’s stomach had begun to twist with nerves. “What if I want you to be my sweetheart this year?”

Katie shook her head. “No. That won’t work. You love Mommy, don’t you?”

Edward sighed. He and Bella had figured this was coming, but it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. “Of course I love your mother, but love and being a couple aren’t the same thing. We’re not a couple like Grandma and Grandpa or Emmett and Jasper are.”

They got to the shop, and Katie was distracted by the shiny, pretty things. After much discussion and debate, Katie chose a secret message box -- a very pretty, jewel-laden box in the shape of a pillow with a butterfly on top. She was fascinated at the idea any words she wished could be engraved into the slim, metal slip hidden inside the box.

“She’s going to love it,” Edward promised when Katie asked for the fourth time. The little girl was still sometimes unsure of her new family. She also loved to make the adults in her life smile. “How about some lunch?"

“Okay, I-- Oh!” Katie tugged on Edward’s hand, pulling him across the way. “I know. This is perfect. "

Edward thought Katie was slightly young for Hot Topic, but clearly something had caught her eye. He was amused when she scrambled over to the Funko Pop wall. "Mommy told Aunt Alice she needed toys for her desk. She likes this guy." She held up a Nightmare Before Christmas Jack Skellington figure triumphantly. "You should get it for her. If you get it for her and get her a pretty flower, I bet she would be your sweetheart."

"Katie," Edward said with an exasperated sigh.

"It’s okay. I know how to treat a lady.”

Edward had to press his palm to his mouth to smother his laughter. “This I have to hear.”

“See, you have to be charming.” She tapped on her lips, as though thinking. “You have to put on your best clothes and your extra special cologne. The one that makes you smell really manly, but good manly. Not sweaty manly. And you gotta have one flower and one present. Except it can’t be something silly. It has to be thoughtful.” She shoved the toy in his hands. “Mommy will like this. If you give this to her and then ask her to be your sweetheart, she’ll say yes.”

“Where did you learn this stuff?” Edward asked, beyond amused.

Katie’s easy smile fell and she looked down, tugging at the hem of her shirt. “Emmy used to mess up with Jasper sometimes. He said you have to work very hard to make your man or lady feel special.” She looked up at Edward, tilting her head. “You already let Mommy sleep in a different room. I don’t want her to go more far away.”

Edward found it hard to swallow around the lump that rose to his throat. It was never lost to him that he and Bella had taken her away from loving fathers. He could easily imagine her sitting on the bed while Emmett told her how he was going to make things right with his husband. And he could understand why she was afraid of further change.

“Okay, you win.” He looked down at the Jack Skellington toy in his hands. “Charming Mommy. Well, this is going to be interesting. You’re a very small little lady, do you know that?”

She brightened and grinned at him. “I know.”

He chuckled, ruffling her hair. He picked up the Baymax Pop figure Katie had been side-eyeing. “How about this? What if you and Mommy both were my sweethearts? And we could all go out to dinner?”

She seemed tempted but shook her head. “No. I don’t think so. I think Valentine’s Day isn’t for little kids like me. Grandma and Grandpa can watch me. You and Mommy need grown-up time.”

“You think your grandparents don’t have plans of their own?”

Katie considered this. “No. I think grandparents are too old for that kind of stuff.”

“I’ll be sure to tell them you said so.” He shook his head. Speaking of charmed. His kid had him wrapped around her little finger. “I’m sure they’d love to have you all to themselves for a few hours.”

“But you can still get me a Baymax for Valentine’s Day. That would still be okay,” Katie said, blinking in a picture of pure innocence.

Edward snorted. “Ah. It’s good you know the rules of Valentine’s Day, kiddo. I’d be lost without you.”

 **  
**All in all, he ended up taking Jack, Sally, and Zero for Bella, and Baymax and Honey Lemon for Katie. Anything for his sweethearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So many thanks to the gals in my Facebook group for constant inspiration. Youse guise make me really happy.


	24. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, chaps! Happy Tuesday to you. Let’s see what Valentine’s Day looks like for our friends, shall we?

Being fascinated with all things about mothers, on Valentine’s Day night, Katie opted to help Bella get ready. They sat together with the closet open, debating the merits of pants or dresses on a cold, rainy Seattle evening.

 

“What did you wear on your first date with my daddy?” Katie asked. She was sitting on Bella’s bed, picking through her limited makeup supply.

 

Bella sighed, trying to smooth her unreasonable nerves along with her dress. “I don’t think we’ve ever been on a date.”

 

“Then how did you fall in love?”

 

Katie looked so perplexed, Bella had to laugh. She brought her jewelry box over for her daughter’s inspection. “Daddy and I were never really boyfriend and girlfriend. We were friends for a while. I think that’s better--when you start out as friends with the person you fall in love with,” she said, choosing careful words to explain a situation that was so far out of any six-year-old’s understanding.

 

Because Edward was her friend, she’d known he was good and kind. Over and over, she returned to this point. This whole mess could have been so much uglier with someone else.

 

“Tell me a story about you and my daddy,” Katie said, offering her a necklace with an amber colored pendant.

 

Bella smirked because the dress Katie had wanted her to wear was dark blue. It didn’t go with amber, but she wasn’t going to tell her daughter that. “Hmm. A story.”

 

Whenever she thought about the people she and Edward had been when Katie was conceived, Bella’s heart ached. It was confusing, because she liked who she’d been with him. With Edward, she’d been a young woman sure of at least her immediate future. He’d looked at her and talked with her as though her words, her self, were worth something, and with each conversation, she’d become more sure of who she wished she could be.

 

“Well, okay. I suppose you have to know first that in high school, they have a lot of dances. The biggest one is prom, and it’s a big deal to have someone ask you to go,” Bella said. Her lips quirked. She’d never been innocent enough to dream about prom dates, and she’d tested out of school before it was a real possibility anyway.

 

“So at the university where we met, they held a prom. Kind of a nostalgia thing. Do you know what that means?”

 

Katie shook her head.

 

Bella thought a moment about how to explain. “It’s when you think about your past, and it makes you a little happy and a little sad.” As though people in their late teens and early twenties were so far from their teenage years. “It was a little silly, but a lot of people were going to go.

 

“When he was in college, Daddy studied all the time.” Bella exaggerated the words and made a show of making her eyes go wide so Katie giggled. “He told all our friends that he needed to study more than he needed to go to a silly party. Between you and me, I thought he could stand to relax, so I went over to his dorm with a...milkshake.” She coughed into her hand.

 

Milkshake, tequilla sunrise, what was the difference?

 

“Yum. Strawberry or chocolate?” Katie asked.

 

“Um. Strawberry-banana. Anyway,” Bella said. “I went over, and we talked, and drank our milkshakes while he studied. He asked me to tell him about my prom, and he got kind of upset when I told him I hadn’t gone to my high school prom.” She made a face so Katie wouldn’t think this upset her. “Dances weren’t really type of my thing, that’s all.

 

“So right after that, Daddy went to get us more, uh, milkshakes from the store down the street. It took him forever, but I found out that was because he had to walk to another store--”

 

“Why didn’t he drive?”

 

Because he was more than a little tipsy. “Because he didn’t have his car. He’d lent it to his roommate.”

 

“Oh. Okay,” Katie said.

 

“As I was saying, it took him a while to come home, because he had to walk to another store.” Bella smiled at the memory.  “He had a corsage for me, and really crappy decorations. He sent me to raid Tanya’s--that was his roommate--closet to find something that resembled a dress, and he put on his best clothes. He put on music, and he gave me a prom.”

 

“Oooh,” Katie said, looking a little starry-eyed.

 

Bella laughed. She stood and swept Katie up into her arms. The little girl giggled merrily, clasping her arms tightly around her mother’s neck. “I told him I couldn’t dance, and he danced with me anyway. Like this.” She swayed them gently. “It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me.”

 

“Did you kiss?”

 

Bella sighed and closed her eyes, nuzzling the side of her daughter’s hair.

 

When she saw what Edward planned, she remembered how she had to fight to keep a goofy smile from her face. Were her cheeks as bright red as they felt? When he’d shooed her off to find something to wear, she’d gone to the bathroom first. Sure enough, she looked flushed.

 

Then, when he’d pulled her into his arms, she thought surely he was able to feel the way her heart pounded against her chest. But then she’d been distracted by how perfectly she fit tucked up against his body. She rested her head on his shoulder and teased him for being a cheesy bastard. She’d wondered aloud if he’d liked slow dancing with his date, whomever she’d been.

 

He’d gone quiet at that, though he kept moving them around the room. When she looked up, her breath had caught in her throat. He was looking down on her with an expression she recognized. Hunger. Like her stepfather’s friends before they pulled her down onto their laps and put their hands on her. She should have been terrified.

 

Unlike her stepfather’s friends, though, there was a tenderness in his eyes that was anything but malicious. He’d kept one hand at the small of her back, the other holding hers close against their chest. Wordless, he’d raised their joined hands together to brush her cheek, and his gaze had fallen to her lips.

 

“We did kiss,” Bella said, answering her daughter as she shook the memory away. “It was nice.” They’d kissed and kissed, and Edward asked her, his expression a mix of mischief and hope, if she wanted the full high school prom experience.

 

She lost her virginity at prom. Bella snorted at the thought and her bizarre life.

 

“If you go dancing, maybe you’ll kiss again,” Katie said, her eyes bright and hopeful.

 

Bella set her daughter on the bed and touched her cheek briefly. “You know that even if Daddy and I don’t kiss like Emmett and Jasper, it doesn’t mean either of us are going anywhere. I love Daddy, and I love you.” She kissed her forehead. “And Daddy loves us both.”

~0~

“Thanks for doing this Mom, Dad,” Edward said.

 

He watched with his parents as Bella gave Katie last minute instructions. It was still difficult for her to leave Katie. They wouldn’t be doing this at all--not yet--except the little girl had insisted.

 

Carlisle smiled at him. “That’s our job, isn’t it? We’re the grandparents.”

 

The gleam in his parents’ eyes at that word made Edward smile. “First overnight stay with Grandma and Grandpa.”

 

“I’m surprised she chose us, to be honest,” Esme said. “I’d have thought she’d want to go with Emmett and Jasper. She knows they’re always up for babysitting.”

 

Edward frowned. “They told her they didn’t have plans for Valentine’s Day.” Who could blame them? Edward wouldn’t have felt like celebrating anything if he’d lost his precious baby girl. “She knows how to work them even better than she works us. She wouldn’t calm down until they promised to go on a date too.”

 

Carlisle looked to the little girl and smiled. “The world is simple in the eyes of a child. As long as Emmett and Jasper keep doing what they always did, nothing else has to change.” He looked to Edward and raised an eyebrow, a smile playing at his lips. “And if she can get the two of you to kiss, then she can make you into the image of the parents she’s used to.”

 

Edward rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, anyway. Thanks for taking her. I know she wants to stay the whole night, but she doesn’t have to. We’ll probably be back before eleven. The kid sleeps like the dead. She won’t even notice if we take her home.”

 

Esme laughed. “Are you kidding? Katie’s never had grandparents.” She threaded her arm through Carlisle’s and patted his hand. “We’re going to make sure she has more sugar than she could possibly want; she gets to stay up later than you would let her, and basically gets to break every single rule in the book. Honey, I’ve been dreaming about this part since your grandparents spoiled you and your sister rotten every time our backs were turned.

 

“Besides,” she said, looking every bit as innocent as her granddaughter could. “You never know. You may well need a night off.”

 

_“Mom!”_

~0~

Bella yelped with glee and surprise as a trapeze artist soared over their heads. She tittered, craning her head to follow the flight. “This place is bizarre,” she said, turning back to Edward. “How did you find it?”

 

“Groupon.” He winked at her. “I googled ‘How to show a lady a good time in Seattle’ and after I waded through all the porn content, I found a Groupon article. I didn’t even know Groupon had articles.”

 

The Pink Door featured Italian dinner--only mildly spendy--and a show. Tonight, the show was a trapeze and aerial gymnastics act with the lady performing right over the heads of the diners. Without a net.

 

It wasn’t possible they’d never had a mishap. Bella eyed the delicious antipasto plate.

 

“It would suck if she landed in the appetizers,” Edward said.

 

“I was just thinking that.”

 

Edward pretended to protect the food when the woman swung by again, and Bella laughed. He grinned back and shrugged. “Oh, well. Seeing as I found it on Groupon, I suppose it wouldn’t be such a big waste of money. Though the food…” He looked at it mournfully.

 

“I’ve never been on a date, but I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to talk about how much money you did or didn’t spend,” Bella said, teasing him. In reality, money was almost always forefront on both their minds.

 

Edward cocked his head, studying her. “You’ve said that before--that you didn’t date. Why didn’t you? Or, I guess, did you want to? Was it just circumstance or?”

 

Bella didn’t look at him at first. She moved bits of salami and pickled veggies around her plate before she finally looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes. “I don’t know if you understand how messed up I was when you first knew me. You know that quote? ‘You accept the love you think you deserve?’” Bella swallowed hard. “I don’t think you want to know what I thought I deserved before you came along, and that’s probably why I ended up running from you.”

 

She wiped a hand over her mouth, deep in thought now. “Trying to untangle all of that, seventeen years of conditioning and destructive thought processes on top of trying to cope with losing my baby?” Her voice cracked and she shook her head, overcome with emotion. “Six years isn’t a long time when you have so much of your life to figure out. For a long time, I was paranoid of people in general. Any of them could have been the ones who took my baby or people like my stepfather’s friends or even my mother. I didn’t trust people at all, let alone enough to date one. All of that had to be fixed too.”

 

Edward reached out, taking her hand away from her face. He smoothed a thumb over her knuckles. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

 

Somewhat frustrated--why the hell had she gone there when they’d been having fun--Bella shook her head. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“No.” He looked down at their joined hands, his lips working as though he were searching for words. “Do you ever resent me?”

 

Bella furrowed her brow. “For what?”

 

“I've always known I was lucky. I've worked hard in whatever I do, but I've had so many advantages." He looked to her with a sad smile. "I don't know if you realize how strong you are, Bella. The things you've been through, and you're so good.

 

"But mainly, I have no idea what it's like to lose a child. I get angry sometimes that I missed so much. But you missed all of it too and have to live with all the years you had no idea what was happening to her on top of everything else. How could you not resent me?"

 

Bella shuddered. "I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on anyone, least of all you. You gave her back to me when I was the one who lost her."

 

Edward squeezed her hand. "She came back to the both of us." He smiled more genuinely then. "And I can't say I'm unhappy that she insisted I take my best sweetheart out on the town."

 

Bella blushed and let go of his hand as the waiter came by with their meals. He was the biggest sweetheart she'd ever known.

~0~

It was a good night, and Bella found, as they got closer to home, she didn't want it to end. It was nice, and she found she wasn't awkward with Edward as she was with most people. He kept her in the moment when, in other social occasions, she often found herself drifting into her own thoughts.

 

When they got out of the restaurant, it was pouring freezing rain. Bella had to laugh. Theoretically, it was the perfect middle to a romantic evening--a stroll hand in hand. In reality, Edward grabbed her hand so they could run in the rain to the car.

 

By the time they got back home, Bella’s thoughts had returned to Katie. She was eager to see her daughter and wished Katie hadn't insisted on staying overnight with her grandparents.

 

"Well, we've satisfied our part of the bargain. You think Katie will be happy?" Edward asked.

 

Bella smiled. It was always nice to realize she wasn't alone in this. Their thoughts were so often in the same place. "I told her about our prom today. Do you remember?"

 

The way he looked at her then stole her breath. "Of course I remember." Of course he did. Regardless of what it had been to him, it had been the start of everything. It had been the beginning of what led to Katie and all this. "I always thought proms were a waste of time, but I liked dancing with you." His expression brightened. "In fact..."

 

He walked over to the cell phone dock, and pressed a few buttons on his phone before he connected it. Bella flushed but grinned when an easy Latin number came on. Edward held his hand out to her. "Dance with me?"

 

Just as it had years before, her heart began to pound. She took Edward's hand, nervous and thrilled at once. His arm went around her waist and they began to dance.

 

Bella took in a deep breath, shocked by the emotion that hit her as she settled into his embrace. It hadn't been fantasy or imagination. She fit with him. This had been the beginning of something beautiful.

 

What could they have become if she hadn't run from him?

 

Bella ducked her head, dropping her gaze. It was overwhelming to think about what might have been--the enormity of lost potential.

 

Edward stiffened and pulled back, though he kept her in the circle of his arms. "Bella. You're shaking." He studied her, and his eyes went wide. "Are you crying?"

 

She turned away from him. "I'm sorry. It's just... The what ifs are getting to me right now."  She laughed, the sound bitter. "It's silly. It's not like we were together. Just kids messing around."

 

He took her by the arm and turned her gently toward him. "For that alone you should know the what ifs aren't only you." He cupped her cheek, trying to get her to look up. "Don't you understand? I was the one who made it all about sex that night." He ran his thumb over her cheek. "I didn't have the words that night or any other night. I wanted you, but I seduced you instead. I thought it was easier. I thought we were both too busy for a relationship."

 

Bella closed her eyes. She was shaking all the worse, not quite able to shake the wave of despair. Everything seemed so hopelessly complicated just then.

 

“If you’d been my girlfriend, if you’d known what I felt about you, a lot of things might have been different," Edward said, his voice quiet. “Bella, open your eyes.”

 

She shook her head. Tears welled and squeezed past her closed eyelids, but she still didn’t open them.

 

There was no good option here. She was, after all, a human being, prone to all the insecurities of her species. She didn’t want to look at him and see only adoration and friendship. She was so deeply in love with him. He’d been the embodiment of the fantasies she indulged in to escape the nightmare that was her life; the handsome prince she dreamed would carry her off to a castle in the clouds. Now she lived in reality, and she knew better than to think he was perfect. She had fallen all over again, watching this man with his strengths and flaws struggle with her through this impossible situation. Of course, she loved him, and it would break her heart if he didn’t feel the same.

 

But if by whatever miracle he felt the same things she did, saw how well they fit, what then? Day by day, they were still struggling. Katie had issues. Edward and Bella were trying to find their stride as parents to a girl who still loved and felt allegiance toward her first parents. They were trying to figure out a long-term plan that didn’t involve depending on their parents for help. It was so much to deal with; were they really going to add the complexities of a new relationship to the chaos that was their life?

 

Edward stroked the tears from her cheeks cupping her face in his hands. “Baby, look at me.”

 

Bella drew in a deep breath through her nose and opened her eyes.

 

In an instant, Bella knew all her worrying, all her questions and fears about Edward were for nothing. She might be sure of nothing else in her life, but looking into his eyes, she knew how this part of their story began and ended. She was his, and he was hers. It had been so for all the time they’d been separated, and it would always be so.

 

Edward had been right months ago. They never could be just friends.

 

Bella tilted her head up, catching his kiss. It was a fervent kiss, but slow. She let the knowledge of her love for him, and his for her, seep into her veins. It spread like fire in her blood, consuming her. She threaded her fingers through his hair, and he wound an arm around her waist, each of them pulling the other closer.

 

Edward took a step backward, falling down on the couch and bringing her with him. Bella straddled his lap, sighing against his mouth because this felt more right than anything ever had.

 

After a long, breathless moment, Bella laughed.

 

Edward pulled back, panting ever so slightly. He rubbed his hands up and down her back, his eyes light and happy. “What’s so funny?”

 

“I can’t decide if we’re spoiling our kid. This is exactly what she wanted, isn’t it?”

 

“Ah.” He kissed her chin and the corners of her mouth. He pulled back again and traced the shape of her mouth with the tip of his finger. “Not exactly. She wants us in the same bed, among other things.”

 

Bella’s breath stuttered at his words and the way his voice had pitched low. There was hunger in his eyes when he looked at her. He swallowed hard and smiled. “But I don’t put out on a first date.”

 

Caught off guard by how incongruous those words were, Bella laughed. Then, she couldn’t stop. Her laughter turned to chortles. Her chortles turned to giggles, and she hid her face at Edward’s neck. She couldn’t help it. For just this moment, she wasn’t confused, scared, worried, or angry. She was nothing but happy, and that happiness made her giddy.

  
Beneath her, Edward chuckled and held her closer. When her giggle fit subsided, he shifted her in his arms so she was cradled against his side, her head tucked under his chin. “We’re going to do this right. Right for us. Whatever that means."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to MoH, songster, jessypt, barburella, and Packy 2.0. 
> 
> How are we feeling now, kids?


	25. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A lot of people wondered what Emmett and Jasper were up to on Valentine’s Day. I really consider this an outtake, which I wrote because it was in my head and because Packy asked me to. Heh, angst h00rs unite.
> 
> My goal is to update Fly Away Home and By Proxy before Saturday. :D

Like most everything else about him, Emmett’s love was loud. His displays of affection, public or private, were anything but subtle. Since he’d met the love of his life, Valentine’s Day was one of his favorite days of the year. It gave him an excuse to make a grand romantic gesture. Bigger, as far as Emmett was concerned, was better.

 

That Valentine’s Day, Emmett got off work first. As had become his custom, he made a beeline for the liquor cabinet before he even took off his uniform. Only after he’d had that first gulp did Emmett take off his gun. He tossed the belt over the back of the sofa. No point in securing it out of reach. There were no little hands to get into it.

 

Emmett downed the first tumbler, refilled it, and sat down in his armchair. Not for the first time, he thought about rearranging the living room furniture. From where he sat, he could see Katie’s playroom. He tried to get the energy to stand up, but he couldn’t summon it. Instead, he took another pull of his drink. He tried to find excitement for the coming evening out with his husband. That, too, was missing.

  
  


It was as though Emmett’s volume had been turned down. Everything good--joy, anticipation, excitement-had lost its vibrancy. Try as he might to find pleasure in things that used to make him happy, he couldn’t reach those emotions. Then again, it meant that he also couldn’t reach that soul-rending pain that had ripped him apart while his baby was being slowly torn from his arms. It was like his insides had been burned hollow by that last stab of impotent fury. When the flame of his anger went out, it seemed to have taken everything with it.

 

The front door opened, but Emmett didn’t move. He was still staring straight forward when Jasper came to stand in front of him.

 

“What are you doing?” Jasper asked, his tone steady.

 

Still, Emmett didn’t glance up. “I think that’s probably pretty obvious,” he said, draining the last of his second drink.

 

“I thought maybe you could take one night off from the drinking.” Jasper took the glass from his hand. “We’re supposed to go out tonight.”

 

“Yeah.” Emmett wiped a hand across his mouth. “I don’t think I’m up for it, babe.”

 

“You promised Katie.”

 

“So, we’ll lie to her.” Even as he said it, the words felt awful. He pushed up out of his chair and went to the liquor cabinet again, grabbing a new glass.

 

Jasper went and took that glass from his hands before he could pour. “Don’t I get a say in this?”

 

Emmett finally looked up. “Come on. You always said Valentine’s Day was a commercialized nightmare. Crowds. Cheesy bullshit. You’re going to tell me that this year of all years, you feel like celebrating?”

 

“I feel like keeping a promise I made.”

 

“We’re not even going to see her for another two days.” Old bitterness churned like bile in his stomach, and Emmett clenched his fists at his sides. “You think she’s even going to remember to ask us? And if she does, so what? We tell her we had a good time, and she’ll believe us. It’s that simple.” He yanked back the glass and poured himself another drink of whiskey.

 

An uncomfortable silence fell between them as Emmett sat back down. There’d been a lot of those lately--long, uncomfortable silences.

 

Jasper sighed as he sat down on the couch. “What if I wanted to go because I wanted to try?”

 

“Try what?”

 

“I don’t know, Emmett. Something. Anything.”

 

The anger in Jasper’s tone irritated him. “Are you going to get dramatic on me just because I don’t want to go out?”

 

“That’s not what this is about, and you know it.” His tone gentled then. “There’s got to be a first step. If you don’t want to go out, fine, but talk to me.”

 

“What is there to talk about? I just don’t feel like being out.”

 

Jasper made a disgruntled noise and stood up, only to kneel in front of Emmett so he could look up at him. To Emmett’s surprise, his eyes were much more scared than angry. “You’re pulling further and further away from me by the minute.” He took Emmett’s free hand. “We’re not going to make it, baby. We’re not going to last if we don’t figure out how we’re going to get through this together.”

 

Emmett’s breath was ragged. He wanted to argue. This was overdone. It was just that, if they went out tonight, it would be a farce. They’d be surrounded by loving couples making stupid, goo-goo eyes at each other, while they…

 

While they sat across from each other, making painful small talk like they had been for months now. Like strangers instead of loving partners who’d been together almost fifteen years.

 

“It’s like you’ve given up, Emmett. You quit therapy. You’d rather drink than talk to me.”

 

Emmett set down his drink and ran a hand over his eyes. Words hadn’t ever been easy for him. He stood and tugged Jasper up with him. He pulled him over to the sofa, to sit beside him, and wrapped his arms around him. He buried his face in his husband’s neck, breathing him in. He loved this man so much, but that, like everything else, had lost its vibrancy these last few months. “I just want to think about it,” he said finally. “I think about Valentine’s Day, and I start to wonder if her fancy-schmancy school does the same thing as the elementary school. Did she make Valentine’s cards for Edward and Bella?” His throat got tight, and he almost reached for his drink.

 

Jasper didn’t speak right away. He ran his fingers through Emmett’s curls and kissed his temple. “Last year, you remember how mad she got when you teased her about if she was going to ask any of the kids in her class to be her Valentine?”

 

Emmett’s laugh was strangled. His lips quirked up as Jasper’s words brought to mind five-year-old Katie, her face tomato red as she refuted his claims. It was such a precious memory, but God how it ached.  

 

“Or the year before that we gave her a giant heart-shaped lollipop and before we knew it, her entire face was red and sticky?”

 

Emmett closed his eyes tightly shut. “Why are you doing this?” he whispered.

 

Jasper stroked the back of his neck. “Because I don’t want to forget, Emmett. I don’t want to put it away like it’s something we don’t dare talk about because it hurts too much. She’s part of us. Part of our story.”

 

They were both quiet again at that, but it wasn’t an awkward, heavy silence as it had been before.

 

“You remember, I think it was the second or third date we had, when you got a call in the middle of dinner. You’d picked me up, so you didn’t have time to drop me off before you rushed off to the hospital.”

 

“Liam,” Emmett said, an even older ache twisting in his gut. Liam had been a foster brother once upon a time. “Asshole got himself stabbed. He was dying, and he asked for me.”

 

“Yeah. It was strange, you know? I could tell this guy was bad news, and you were a cop. What the hell business did a cop have with this guy? But I watched you hold his hand and tell him the things he needed to hear before he died.”

 

Emmett straightened up a bit where he sat, staring down at their joined hands. “I thought for sure I’d never get a third date after that.”

 

“You told me about growing up in the foster system; growing up without your parents.”

 

The foster system gave kids a roof to sleep under, clothes on their backs, and attended to their basic needs. What the system couldn’t promise, what it rarely delivered, was consistent, unwavering love.

 

“You said you wanted to adopt a kid out of that system,” Jasper said. “You wanted to save one of them.”

 

Emmett closed his eyes, but there was some comfort in the kisses his husband peppered along his hairline. Years later, when they’d started to plan their life together, they were both eager to start a family. They would have taken an older child. In many ways, Emmett prefered older children who were harder to adopt, but that wasn’t the hand fate dealt. No. Their home came available just when Katie needed it, and they fell in love with her.

 

Jasper shifted and took Emmett’s face in his hands. “Once, before I knew we would get her, I watched you with her. She was such a tiny baby. You had her on your chest while we watched TV. She looked like a kitten, curled up asleep with you.” Jasper’s breath shuddered. He kissed Emmett once, gently. “That was the first time I hoped they wouldn’t find her biological family.”

 

Dropping his hands to Emmett’s shoulders, Jasper kissed him again and sighed. “Watching you be a daddy to our daughter has been one of the greatest joys of my life, Em. You were always so gentle with her. And I think having her healed some part of you, some part of your past, that I could never touch.” He tilted his head so their foreheads bumped gently. “I think, maybe, that’s what’s broken.”

 

Emmett shuddered and brought his hand up to cup Jasper’s cheek. Was it possible this man had no idea what he’d done for him? They were grown-up boys from broken homes. In Jasper, he’d found the steady love and acceptance that had been missing most of his life. Jasper had believed in him, had walked with him. Often, like now, he was Emmett’s voice, giving him the words he could never find. His husband was so good at reading him.

 

When he was a young boy, Emmett had vowed to himself that he would never let his family fall apart. Jasper was his family, and they were falling apart. Katie was still his family, and he wouldn’t disappoint her either. He’d already lost something precious to him--the relationship he could have had with his daughter as she grew. He wouldn’t lose this. He wouldn’t lose his husband, too.

 

Emmett wrapped an arm around Jasper’s shoulder and pulled him closer. "Hey, I know where we can go without a reservation on Valentine’s Day. Have you outgrown Denny's?"

 

Jasper raised his head, a smile tugging at his lips. "I'm never above Denny's ."

 

Emmett stroked his cheek. He did adore this man, and he hoped he was still capable of showing it. They'd met at a Denny's in the middle of the night. Emmett had just gotten off duty, and Jasper had been forced out of his lab by the irritating human necessity to eat. Emmett thought he was adorable--hunched over a table-full of paperwork, glasses sliding down to the tip of his nose, muttering crossly to himself. He’d gone over to tell him to relax; no one should be that worked up at three-thirty in the morning. They were still there at five-thirty, Jasper’s work long forgotten.

 

"Maybe we can start over," Emmett said. Then he grinned wickedly, remembering how, as their early morning conversation ended, he’d wondered if he could coax Jasper home to his bed. "Except this time, I'm fairly sure I can get laid on the first date."

 

Jasper grinned back at him, wrapping his arms around his neck. "So sure of yourself, are you,  stud? I'm not easy. You're going to have to impress me if you want to get in my pants."

 

Emmett snorted. "I've got moves, babe. Don't you worry."

 

They kissed then. Slow, sweet kisses that were an apology and a promise. Rekindling a romance that Emmett hadn't even realized had slipped away while he was busy wallowing.

 

When their kiss broke, they sat panting, still wrapped up in each other’s arms, their hot breath mingling in the air between them. Jasper brushed light kisses against the tip of his nose and his cheeks. When Emmett opened his eyes, he could see, for the first time in months, a spark of happiness and light in Jasper’s eyes.

 

“We’re going to be okay,” Jasper said as though promising both of them. “Just stick with me, babe. We’ll be okay.”

 

Emmett winced. So much of him still wanted to lash out, to scream of course it wouldn’t be okay. His daughter could never be his again. Their little, beautiful family was destroyed, and that would never, ever be okay.

 

He took a deep breath and kissed Jasper again. “Count on it,” he said.

  
After all--hadn’t the rest of his life taught him that there could be beauty again even after total destruction? He had his husband. Maybe he couldn’t claim his daughter, but he would always be a big part of her life.

  
It wasn’t what they’d planned, but they would be happy again. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oi. How are we doing?


	26. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Today I have learned that bourbon kicks my ASS. Oye. Onward.

Edward had a Master of Education in Learning Design and Technology. It was why he was well suited for a school like the one where he worked. The curriculum was designed around the student’s needs, abilities, and specialties, so teachers needed to be able to analyze that information. He loved his job. When he was deciding what direction to take his career, he remembered the perfect sense of rightness and peace that had come over him when he decided to work with children.

 

The problem now was money. It hadn’t been a problem when he started at the school just two years ago. He was young and single. What he made was more than enough to pay the rent on his apartment, cover his living expenses and put a little aside.

 

It was a whole different ballgame now. Now he had a small three bedroom house in a part of town he really couldn’t afford. He’d had every intention of sending his children to public school, but now he had a smarty-pants six-year-old who was used to her expensive private school. Bella was even worse off. Before he’d come knocking on her door with news of their long lost daughter, she’d just been gearing up to go back to school so she could do more than customer service or accounts receivable. Pie in the sky--Edward wanted to be able to support all of them for a few years while Bella got a degree, if that was what she wanted. She was looking at various certificate programs as well. Either way, everything cost money they didn’t have.

 

So Edward found himself job hunting in the private sector. The business world wasn’t where he wanted to be, but his degree qualified him for a number of jobs in evaluation and training.

 

“You’ve had a charmed life, Edward,” Carlisle had told him when they sat down for a heart to heart several days before. “Not to say that you’re not a hard worker. You are, of course, but your life has always gone as planned. You went to college straight out of high school. You finished on time. You got a job right away.

 

“Sometimes, though, you have to make a choice between what you want to do and what’s best for you and your family.” Carlisle had clapped him on the shoulder. “You can plan all you want, but life is bound to take you places you’d never expect. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”

 

Edward had made peace with the idea. After all, he was still looking for work in a field that would both interest and challenge him. His wasn’t a hard-knock life type of story where he had to be grateful for a backbreaking job that might or might not offer him enough hours to put food on the table. He was disappointed, and more than a little frustrated at having to start the job hunt all over again, but he strongly suspected he’d live.

 

The shuffle of little feet alerted him to Katie’s presence, and he looked up from his laptop to see her hovering. He furrowed his brow when he got a good look at her. She’d been quiet all morning. She’d barely touched her breakfast and was listless when he tried to play with her. Edward had left her to her blocks and make believe. Now she just looked...off. She stood there with her bedraggled baby blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and said nothing.

 

Edward put his laptop to the side. “What’s a matter, sweet girl?”

 

Her lower lip trembled slightly, but she took a deep breath. “I want Mommy.”

 

Edward’s heart gave a familiar pang, and he got up to go to her. Though she was comfortable and caring toward him, Katie never wanted him. The worst was when she woke up from a nightmare, calling for “Daddies!” Once, when she woke up, she’d yelled at Edward that she didn’t want him. She’d let Bella soothe her then but not Edward.

 

He squatted by her side. “Mommy’s at work for a little while, remember?” Bella had jumped at the chance of Saturday overtime. “She’ll be back in four more hours. Then we’re going to hang out.”

 

Katie’s lip jutted out even further, and she began to whimper. “I want her now,” she said, more plaintive than demanding.

 

Edward sighed. “I’m right here. Come tell me what’s the matter.”

 

She took few more deep breaths, as though trying to calm herself down, but the whimpers won out. Katie’s lower lip crumpled, and she wound her arms around his neck, clinging to him as she began to cry quietly. “Baby,” Edward said, confused and aching at the sound. He stood with her in his arms, his hand against her back.

 

Katie was warm. Too warm.

 

“Oh, honey,” Edward said, realizing belatedly what was happening. He could have kicked himself for not recognizing the signs sooner. He was a teacher, for goodness sake. He knew a sick child when he saw one. “You don’t feel good at all, do you?”

 

“No,” Katie said, her whining voice muffled against his neck. “Hurts.”

 

“I bet.” Edward smoothed her hair away from her forehead and pressed a kiss there. “Come on. We’ll get you some Tylenol to help you feel better, and then how about a nap, hmm?”

 

Katie made some kind of grunting groan. Like most kids, she hated medicine, but she was likely feeling too lousy to put up much of a fight.

 

He dosed her with Tylenol and helped her change into her jammies. She refused to let him go when he tried to go get her a water bottle, so he carried her to the kitchen and back upstairs with him. She only growled when he tried to set her in bed.

 

Edward sighed again, this time ruefully. He hid a small smile against Katie’s hair as he kissed the top of her head. “I guess Daddy’s taking a nap too, hmm?”

 

He laid down with Katie draped over his chest and rubbed her back, singing softly as she drifted off. He meant to get up as soon as she was asleep. He had things to do, and he wondered if they had tomato rice soup. He liked tomato rice soup when he was sick. He’d liked when his mother made it for him.

 

In the end, though, he got wrapped up enjoying this quiet moment with his daughter. He hated that she felt bad, but despite the fact she radiated an uncomfortable amount of heat, he was glad he could do this for her. He was glad he could get her to stop whimpering, and that, even if he wasn’t her first choice, she felt comforted in his arms.

 

He’d worried, when this all began, that he couldn’t love her the way he was supposed to. Now, he realized how ridiculous the thought had been. He loved his little girl. The emotion of it filled him to the point of bursting. Having her and Bella was more than a fair trade for giving up the job he loved.

 

He must have fallen asleep, because next thing he knew, he was awakened by a click and a flash. “Whazit?” He blinked, trying to figure out what was going on, why he was so hot, and why there was a rock on his chest.

 

A squishy rock with soft hair and a raspy breath. Right. Sick kid.

 

Edward looked up to see Bella in the doorway, putting away her cell phone. He had to smile. He’d always wanted a picture of him sleeping with his child asleep on his chest. It was the obligatory daddy picture. Of course, when he’d thought about it in the past, he’d imagined his child being a baby, but that was beside the point.

 

“Don’t tell me I was asleep for four hours,” Edward said, rubbing at his eyes.

 

“I don’t know. Depends on how lazy you are.” Bella perched on the edge of Katie’s bed. “I’m home early, if that’s what you mean. Systems went down. Less pay for me, but I get to come home.”

 

He hummed and tilted his head up invitingly. Her cheeks flushed, and she kissed him. A sweet kiss. He found it adorable how shy she could be about these things. They were still feeling their way around their ever-changing relationship. A kiss like this, while he held their daughter, felt much more intimate than almost anything else they’d done.

 

“Lay down a minute?” he asked, extending a hand toward her. He knew he should get up. He still had things to do, and his chest was damp with sweat from Katie laying on him. But he wanted both of his girls in his arms for a minute. Just a minute.

 

Bella took his hands and let him draw her down. The bed was far too small to hold all three of them. She had to lay on her side tucked right up against him, but that was exactly what he wanted. Bella smiled at him, pressing a kiss to the tip of his chin.

 

Her gaze went to their daughter. She ran her fingertips along Katie’s cheek and gasped. “She’s really warm,” she said, pressing her palm to Katie’s forehead.

 

“Hence the daytime nap. She was achy earlier.”

 

“What do we do?” Bella said, and Edward was surprised to hear a frantic edge to her voice. “Listen to her breathing. That doesn’t sound good. Do we need to take her to the hospital?”

 

“Calm down, Bella. She’s fine. She’s just sick, that’s all.”

 

Bella furrowed her brows, obviously displeased at this pronouncement. “You’re sure she’s okay? How high is her fever?”

 

“I didn’t check. It’s not that high. Hush.” He ran his hand along her back as he’d done for Katie. “Kids get sick. It’s perfectly fine. She’ll be cranky and dripping goo for a few days, that’s all.”

 

Bella blew out a breath and rested again with her head on his arm. “Sorry. I know. Mikey, Angela, and Tyler were always getting the sniffles. I didn’t mean to freak out.”

 

“You’re fine. Every new parent is entitled to a few panic attacks.”

 

She eyed him. “What about you? I haven’t seen you panic.”

 

He snorted. “I’m sure my time is coming.”

  
~0~

Since he had sick time and Bella didn’t, Edward stayed home with Katie. Bella called to check on them several times. Rationally, she knew her baby was fine. Irrationally, Bella couldn’t help but worry. She had the fear in her now, because she had the certain knowledge that her child could be taken from her. It happened once. It could happen again.

 

Edward was patient with her calls. He let her listen as he teased their daughter. He called her ‘Sassy Baby Crankypants’ because, as he’d predicted, she was in a horrible mood. Every time he did, Katie would make a disgruntled sound. Edward teased her and tickled her until she was equal parts growling and giggling.

 

“See, baby? I love you even when you make crankypants faces like this.”

 

Whatever he did, Bella could hear Katie giggling. “I don’t look like that.”

 

“You totally do. Just like this.”

 

He must have made the face again as Katie’s giggles redoubled, accompanied by coughs, of course. Bella smiled hearing them. Katie had been way too miserable to laugh the day before.

 

“She’ll be okay, Bella,” Edward said.

 

“Ice cream would make my throat better,” Katie said, her voice oozing sweet innocence.

 

Edward and Bella both laughed. “Good try, sweetheart, but dairy products are the last thing you need.”

 

“How about I pick up pho for dinner, and I’ll bring her one of the ice drinks?” Bella asked.

 

“Mm. That sounds good. Baby, Mommy wants to know if you want a strawberry iced drink or watermelon.”

 

Time ticked by too slowly that day, but finally, Bella went home to Edward and Katie. She saw with her own eyes that Katie was much more active. She didn’t cough as much and ate much more of her dinner than she had in the last two nights.

 

“I think we should keep her home one more day,” Edward said after Katie was in bed. “I have enough time. It shouldn’t be a problem. She’s well enough that I can take her with me to pick up her homework. That’d probably be the responsible thing to do. Though, even at our school, she’s not going to be that far behind missing two or three days of first grade.”

 

Bella snorted, and he looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “Sorry,” she said. “It’s just strange sometimes.” She shifted on the sofa, her body angled toward his. “When we planned all of this, decided we were going to be a family, I didn’t see how it would ever work. You and I were strangers. Katie was happy with Emmett and Jasper.” She blushed and ducked her head. “I don’t know. It’s just the way you said that. It’s so old married couple. Like we’ve been doing this for years.” She sighed. “Like we had her from the beginning. Like…”

 

Edward put his arm around her and scooted closer. He traced the shape of her jaw, and with his finger propped underneath her chin, he guided her head up to look at him. “Like we’ve been at this together for years instead of months?” he asked.

 

Her heart picked up a quickened rhythm, and she nodded.

 

He hummed, his eyes following the path his fingertip took as he traced the lines of her face. “Like sometimes you forget we’ve skipped a few very important parts?”

 

“I don’t know about forget,” Bella said, her tone light. Somehow, without thinking, she’d begun to trace patterns on his knee. “I don’t forget the important parts.”

 

His breath caught, and she tried to hold back a smirk, half proud of herself and half embarrassed at her double entendre. He laughed and tilted her chin up again to kiss her. As their lips met again and again, and chaste kisses turned to something much more serious, Edward ran his hand down her arm. He skimmed her thigh and hooked his fingers behind her knee, tugging up. Bella shifted, throwing her legs up over his lap. She leaned into him, balancing with her hand splayed over his chest.

 

It had been just under a month since Valentine’s Day. Most of their time and energy went to Katie, particularly learning how to be first-time parents to a brilliant six-year-old. But here and there, they stole a moment for them. They were both being careful with the flame they carried for each other. There was too much at stake to throw caution to the wind and give in to their lust.

 

But, oh, the lust. When Edward kissed her like this, when he held her and his questing fingers sent a thrill down her spine, it was all she could do not to jump him.

 

His hand came up to cup her breast and though he’d done it before, somehow, today, she was done. She’d reached the limit of her self-control, and she couldn’t find a compelling argument to justify holding back. Not anymore.

 

Every relationship was a leap of faith. She’d given this man her heart before she knew it was worth anything. It was the wrong time. The wrong way.  
  


This was right.

 

With a gasp, Bella broke their kiss. Edward blinked, his hand still firm on her thigh. He swept his tongue over his lip. “Bella?”

 

Bella pushed away from him, trying to disentangle herself. In her fervor, she ended up on the floor on her ass. “Bella!” Edward said, startled. He stood up, looking down at her as she pushed up onto her elbows, panting. “What’s wrong? What happened? What did I do?”

 

She shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. Some people could be so suave at moments like these. She wasn’t one of them.

 

“Can we, um. Can we go upstairs?”

 

His confused look remained for one, two, three heart-stopping moments. Then, his eyebrows arched skyward. “Are you--”

 

“I’m sure.”

 

She didn’t need to say anything else. Almost before those two words were out, he’d pulled her to her feet and was all but dragging her toward the stairs. She laughed. “Damn. You’re easy.”

 

Halfway up the stairs by then, Edward stopped and pinned her up against the wall. He kissed her--a hard, thorough kiss. “Bella, you should know up front, this is going to be embarrassingly fast.”

 

She laughed again. “That’s so sexy.”

 

He looped an arm around her waist, pulling her up the remaining stairs. At the top, he caught her face between his hands and kissed her again. “We have time.” He led her into his room and closed the door behind him. “We have time for slow.” His grin turned wicked. “Later.”

 

They devolved then into kisses, touches, and tugs. He pulled her shirt. She fumbled at his buttons. She stepped out of her pants, and he picked her up. Fast was the operative word. He tossed her on the bed and was over her in the next heartbeat, his body over hers, his lips moving with hers.

 

Bella was breathless under his attack. She ran her fingers through his hair as he kissed her chin, her neck, her collarbone. Just before he got to her breasts he pulled back so he could look at her. His gaze seemed to burn a line down her body, right between her breasts to her belly.

 

His expression changed from one moment to the next. In one heartbeat, his look turned from devourer to something unreadable. Bella was confused until she realized he was looking her belly. More specifically, he was looking at her stretch marks.

 

They weren’t dark as they once had been. They’d long ago faded, like etching on her skin. She’d never thought much about them, which seemed strange to her in that moment. What was he thinking, she wondered. What was he thinking about the journey he’d begun with her, but had no part of?

 

Before she could give in to the urge to cover herself with her hands, he looked at her. He pressed his palm to her chest, feeling the erratic beat of her heart. “Are you nervous?”

 

“Yeah,” she admitted in a whisper.

 

He stroked her cheek, the movement and the look in his eyes so tender, she thought her heart might break. “Don’t be,” he said, ducking his head to kiss her sweetly. His fingers trailed along the faded spiderweb veins. “We’ve done this before, remember?” He kissed along her cheek, down her neck. “I’m going to be so good to you, baby.”

 

The mood had swung. He’d predicted it would be over quickly. It wasn’t. He lowered his body to hers and kissed her. She was shaking. She didn’t notice until that moment, but she was. Not because she was scared. She wasn’t really. This was just… so much.

 

No amount of therapy could have prepared her for what it felt like to be here with him, accepted by him for all she was. He had all her secrets--her worst moments, her worst deeds, the darkness of her past--and yet he was still here, his eyes, his every touch full of love for her. All of her.

 

“Want you,” she murmured against his lips when she thought she might go insane if he wasn’t inside her. She needed it, needed him. He was part of her. She’d carried him inside her even after she’d run away from him, and she wanted him to come home again.

 

He rolled away from her only long enough to get a condom from the nightstand. He held himself above her, propped up on his hands. Bella stroked her fingers down his chest. She was smiling. It was a foolish, lovesick smile, and she couldn’t honestly recall having ever been as content as she was right then.

 

Content and yet… hungry. She was desperate for him.

 

He lowered himself down again, lining up their bodies. Her legs spread to accept him, and he pushed inside her slowly. She took deep breaths, whimpering with a mixture of pleasure and surprise. Yes, there was a stretch and burn, but it wasn’t bad.

 

No, it was the polar opposite of bad.

 

“Fuck, Bella.” His full weight was on her. He pressed his face beside hers into the pillow, groaning.

 

She bucked her hips up against his, encouraging him to move. He didn’t need much prodding. Together they set a slow, rocking rhythm. Their eyes were open, taking in every detail. She wrapped her legs around him, crossing them at the small of his back, pulling him in deeper.

 

When he hit a sweet spot deep inside her she gasped, digging her fingernails into the fleshiest part of his ass.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked

 

Bella nodded, beyond speech for the moment. Then, with his thrust, she let out such a loud moan it startled them both.

 

“Shhh,” Edward shushed, laughing. He kissed her and drowned his own moan in her mouth.

 

They were still lip locked when they came, one following the other.

 

Neither of them spoke afterward. Bella combed his hair with shaky fingers. He laid his head on her breasts, closing his eyes at they caught their breaths.

  
They fell asleep, sticky, content, and thoroughly together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As you might have noticed, we’re nearing the end of our tale. I predict 1-2 chapters max, but we’ll see. Either way, I know you’re getting at least one extra chapter coz I want to tell Charlie’s story, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
> 
> How are we doing?


	27. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, my friends. We come to the end of another tale. You’ll be getting a posttake that will include what happens to Jasper and Emmett as well as how our little family is doing. You’ll also be getting a pre-take because I really did love writing this Charlie. I just have to SEE what it was like for him, getting a call that his daughter, whom he had no idea existed, was in the hospital. Weee.
> 
> Onward.

“Mommy! You’re going to fall over.”

 

Bella snapped awake and sat up straight at the table. It took her a few muddled moments to figure out she’d started to doze off. With a groan, Bella rubbed at her eyes, trying to cast off the haze in her mind.

 

Edward came into the kitchen from where he had been in the living room. “What’s going on?”

 

Katie, homework forgotten, hopped down from her chair and went to Edward. She took his hand, bringing him over to the table. “Mommy was swaying. I thought she was going to fall over on me. You have to take care of her.”

 

“I’m fine,” Bella said, tamping down an odd edge of irritation. She put her fingertips to her temples and pressed. “We’re almost done, Katie. You’re almost caught up from the days you missed. Just settle down a minute, and we can get everything done.”

 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Bella?” Edward sat next to her at the table. He tried to put his hand to her forehead, but she shrugged it off.

 

“I’m fine. It’s just a headache.” Some distant part of her was horrified at the anger in her tone. “Forget about it. Let’s get this done, so we can get on with our lives.”

 

“I can help Katie,” Edward said, his tone gentle. “Maybe you should lay down a minute. You do look wiped.”

 

“No,” Bella said, the word coming out with a growl. “No. I can do this. This is important.”

 

Bella worried nearly constantly that she couldn’t be a good enough mother. Watching her father and Karen had been a revelation in what a good parent looked like, but she’d lived most of her life with her mother. Like she’d told Edward once, there had been a lot of good about her mother, but mostly, Renee shouldn’t have ever tried to raise a child. Bella recognized that just like herself, Renee had wanted her baby, wanted to be a good mother. She’d simply been incapable at the end of the day.

 

Good mothers were patient and fastidious about things like homework. It was first grade, for fuck’s sake. She could get through a round of first grade homework.

 

Bella ran a hand over her eyes, embarrassed. Why the hell did she feel like she was going to cry?

 

“Is it just your head that hurts?” Edward asked.

 

She blew out a gust of air, suddenly too tired to snap at him. Besides, his words had made her aware that beyond being tired--and she was exhausted--her whole body ached. “Everything,” she said.

 

Katie gasped. “Oh no. Mommy, you’re getting sick.”

 

“Ugh. No. I don’t have time to be sick.”

 

“You have to put her to bed,” Katie said, tugging on Edward’s arm. “And make her take medicine.”

 

Edward put a hand to Bella’s forehead, and this time she let him. Now that Katie said it, she knew that was exactly what was happening. “You have a fever.”

 

“I’m sorry, Mommy. I didn’t mean to give you my sick.”

 

Despite how rotten she felt, Bella smiled. She reached out to cup her daughter’s cheek. “It’s okay. I should have taken more vitamin C or something.” She sighed and shook her head. “I can still help you finish. Then, I’ll lay down.”

 

“Uh oh,” Edward said, eyeing Katie with a small smile. “You see, this is where you get your crankypants nature. You’re a baby crankypants when you’re sick. This is the mommy crankypants.”

 

Bella made a face at Edward, though she knew he was right. She was moody as all hell.

 

Katie giggled. “Is she a sassy mommy crankypants?”

 

Edward shook his head. “No. She’s a stubborn mommy crankypants. But that’s okay. We know what’s best for her.”

 

Bella gave a little yelp as she found herself swept up into Edward’s arms. “What are you doing?” she asked with a gasp, hanging on to his neck.

 

“I think Dr. Katie is right,” he said, kissing her cheek tenderly as he carried her toward the stairs. “I’m going to put you to bed with some medicine to help you feel better.”

 

“But the homework.”

 

“I’ve got it tonight, Bella. It’s okay.” He put his lips close to her ear. “There’s going to be a lot of homework. Lots of nights. Let me get this one.”

 

With that, Bella gave up the fight. She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. “I can walk, you know.”

 

“I know,” Edward said, but he still didn’t put her down. He carried her to his room--the master bedroom--and asked Katie to turn down the blankets for him. “Take care of Mommy a minute, baby. I’m going to get her medicine.”

 

Bella huffed, somewhat disgruntled at being taken care of, but she had to admit Katie in caretaker mode was adorable. Her daughter pulled the blankets up and tucked her in as best she could. “It’s okay. I can rub your back.”

 

“NyQuil knocks me out,” Bella said, making a face when Edward came back into the room with water and medicine.

 

He perched on the edge of the bed and smirked. “That’s the idea,” he said, pouring the recommended dosage into the little plastic cup. “Sleep is good.”

 

“Sleep is the best thing when you’re sick, because it helps your body get better,” Katie said, ever the know-it-all.

 

“Oh, well. I guess I can’t argue with that,” Bella said, dutifully swallowing the nasty stuff. She made a face.

 

“Don’t worry, Mommy.” Katie clambered into the bed beside her, and hugged her. “We’ll take care of you.”

 

The last of Bella’s bad mood faded, and she squeezed her daughter’s hand. She looked to Edward and saw there a reflection of her adoration. This family of hers was a wonderful, loving family. She extended a hand toward Edward and he took it, letting her pull him into bed. She sighed, feeling better as Katie stroked her hair with clumsy fingers and Edward stroked her back.

 

“I shouldn’t have done that. You’re going to get sick too,” Bella said. Her eyelids drooped as drowsiness began to kick in. Katie was likely immune, seeing as she’d just been through this, but Edward was vulnerable.

 

He leaned forward and kissed her, a soft, quick peck. “Worth it.”

 

Between them, Katie grinned. She was used to seeing her parents kiss by now, but it made her happy. “Go to sleep, Mommy,” she said, copying Edward’s tender kiss.

 

Bella yawned and let lethargy win. She closed her eyes. “Love you, ducks.”

~0~

The next day, Katie got away from her teachers to find Edward several times throughout the day. She fretted about Bella. She’d wanted Edward to stay home to take care of her, but settled for calling her every few hours. It sucked that Bella was sick as much as it had sucked that Katie was sick, but he couldn’t regret this new closeness with his daughter. She sat on his lap as she chatted with Bella.

 

“You need to stop running away from your teacher,” Edward said to Katie when she was done talking to her mother. He left his class with the parent who was helping out that day and took his daughter by the hand to lead her back to where her class was playing outside.

 

“I know, but she won’t let me call Mommy,” Katie said, fixing him with a pout.

 

Edward ruffled her hair. “Mommy’s fine. I promise she’s taking care of herself.”

 

Katie sighed dramatically. “I know, but I get worried.”

 

He sent her off with a kiss on her cheek. His eyes followed her until he caught on that someone was glaring at him. Rosalie Hale, here at the school as one of the parent helpers for the day in the first grade class. He gave her a tightlipped smile and nodded. As he fully expected, she turned away without acknowledging the gesture.

 

The woman didn’t like him. Not that he could blame her. She was a good friend of Emmett’s, and the whole situation between all of them, in her estimation, was bullshit. She’d told Edward that to his face often enough. Edward thought it was likely that Emmett vented to her. He wasn’t an idiot. He’d read the hate and anger in Emmett and Jasper’s eyes more often than not, but they were smart enough not to let Edward or Bella hear it, for the most part. They all knew they had to play nice. Katie would suffer if they couldn’t get along. Rosalie had no such qualms. She snipped as often as she was within earshot of Edward.

 

Thankfully, it wasn’t often.

 

Shaking that off, Edward returned to his classroom. After he set his kids to a new task, he retreated to his desk to ponder a few things.

 

Katie was an obedient child. Even at the height of her acting out period, when she mistrusted her teacher, she hadn’t run off. He wondered if she was like Bella in that way too--that there was still some part of her that thought her life was going to fall apart again. She’d had that one nightmare about losing Bella, after all.

 

It was natural, or so he’d been told by the therapists. It would be a while before Katie would trust that her world was stable. Probably sometime after everything became normalized--when they all, Emmett and Jasper included, got used to the situation as it was. She was better since Edward and Bella had begun to be demonstrably affectionate toward each other; that fit her definition of how parents should behave. As Emmett and Jasper got over their heartbreak, she would feel better, too. They weren’t there yet; it was still too easy to read their agony, and Katie had to pick up on that.

 

They all had a ways to go, but looking back on where they had come from, Edward had every hope in the world everything would work out. At the start of all this, everything seemed like they were tiptoeing around a minefield of potential ugliness. The four of them and Katie were past that part at least.

 

The clatter of quick footfalls down the hallway drew Edward’s attention. He looked up as one of the oldest kids peeked his head in the classroom. “Are you Mr. Cullen?”

 

A cold tendril of fear curled in the pit of Edward’s stomach. He stood up. “Yes.”

 

“Katie fell. She’s hurt.”

 

Edward was already running before the last word was out of the boy’s mouth. The second he got out the doors, he could hear Katie crying. His stomach churned, and he ran faster.

 

A few days before, he’d told Bella that it would be his turn to panic someday. He never would have dreamed that day would come so soon. A million different scenarios played themselves out as he ran. It must have taken only seconds to get across the field, but it felt unforgivably longer.

 

As he got closer, he could hear that her cries weren’t wordless. “Dadddddddyyyyy. Daddddy. I want my daddy!” she yelled, twisting in the arms of her teacher.

 

“I called them, sweetheart. I called your daddies,” Rosalie was saying just as Edward pushed through the little crowd that had gathered. Some very small part of him was irritated at the gall she had, but he was too busy being terrified to react to that.

 

“Katie.” He dropped to his knees beside her, relieved to see her in one piece and horrified all at once. Her leg. It was twisted at an odd angle. Broken. “Oh, honey.”

 

“Daddy!” Katie pushed her teacher away and reached for him, winding her arms around his neck. “Daddy, I need you. Daddy, it hurts. Help me.”

 

He gathered her close as carefully as possible, looking up as the school nurse knelt at their side.

 

“Everyone take a big step back,” the nurse said in a booming voice.

 

“She got her leg caught on the top rung of the rope ladder,” her teacher said, nodding at the equipment to the right of them. “She’s been moving her head and back okay, I think.”

 

Katie had turned her head into Edward’s chest to muffle her cries there. She clung tightly to him when the nurse tried to pry her away.

 

“Katie, honey. I just need to look at your back, okay?” the nurse said.

 

“It’s okay, baby. There’s my brave girl,” Edward pried her away from him and stroked her hair back, surreptitiously checking her head for bumps.

 

Katie whimpered, calming down considerably now. “I tripped on top,” she said plaintively. “It hurts, Daddy.”

 

“I know, baby girl. You’re so brave. I’m proud of you.” He eyed the nurse, watching her examination. Fear made his blood run cold, but he kept his tone steady. “Give us one more minute, and we’re going to go to the hospital, okay? We’ll get you feeling better.”

 

“Her back and neck are fine, it looks like,” the nurse said. She looked to Edward. “You want to drive her to the hospital?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve got her.”

 

Katie shivered and huddled against him as soon as the nurse let her go. “Cold,” she said.

 

“Shock,” the nurse said, and she frowned. “It’s normal, but it’d be better if someone else could drive so you can hold her. Keep her warm.”

 

“If you drive, I can hold Katie,” Rosalie said. “Katie, wouldn’t you like to come with me?”

 

Katie knew Rosalie well. The woman had been her primary babysitter almost all her life when Emmett or Jasper had date nights. Rosalie’s son Henry was one of Katie’s best friends. So both Edward and Rosalie were surprised when Katie turned her head back into his chest and clung to his neck. “Want my daddy. Don’t let me go, Daddy.”

 

It struck Edward then that Katie had been calling him Daddy. It was him she’d wanted, him she’d been screaming for when she got hurt. He sucked in a breath, holding his daughter close to him. Rosalie had even told her she’d called Emmett and Jasper--her daddies. Katie still wanted him. “I’ve got you, baby girl,” he said in a whisper near her ear.

 

Rosalie sighed. “I’ll drive.”

 

“Thank you,” Edward said, meaning it. There was no part of him that wanted to let go of his baby girl.

~0~

Edward called his parents and asked them to pick Bella up. He knew Rosalie had called Emmett and Jasper. They were held back, of course. Bella was let through, although with a mask on since she was sick.

 

Katie was in much better spirits after she’d calmed down a bit. Her leg hurt, of course, but she was a brave little kid. She started asking questions quickly. “Emmy said once that he saw a man with his bone sticking out of his leg.” She looked up to Edward with wide eyes. “Is that what’s going to happen?”

 

“Oh, honey, no. No.” Edward smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. “It won’t just pop out. I promise.”

 

Across from him, holding Katie’s other hand, Bella shook her head. She was a lot calmer too than she had been when she’d come running in here. “First sick and first hospital visit on our watch in one week. I’d appreciate it if you’d dial it back a notch, kiddo.”

 

Katie gave her mother a perplexed look. “That mask makes you look funny,” she said in the blunt way of children. “It’s like in a zombie movie.”

 

Bella pretended to look horrified. “How many zombie movies have you seen?”

 

“Zombies aren’t real, Mommy. It’s impossible to live on brains. That’s science.”

 

“Oh. That’s a relief. What about vampires?”

 

If anything, Katie’s expression became even more skeptical. “I don’t know about vampires, but if they get hurt by the sun, wouldn’t they be extinct? The sun is everywhere.”

 

Edward cackled. “I always thought vampires were pretty dumb as monsters go.”

 

By the time Katie had been examined, x-rayed, and casted, Carlisle and Esme had moved everyone off-site, back to Edward and Bella’s house. Everyone who could be was there. Even Charlie had made it down. It was quite a bit more fanfare than a normal childhood injury necessitated, but Katie was precious to all of them. Charlie, Carlisle, and Esme’s first grandchild. Emmett and Jasper had expected they would be the ones to hold her hand through something like this, so it made sense they wanted to be there.

 

Still, Edward couldn’t help but wish they could have Katie to themselves just then. He wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. He wanted to cuddle and coddle her just a bit. He wanted to be her only daddy for a few more hours.

 

Katie, somewhat stoned by drugs, was cooperative when Edward lifted her out of the car. Her casted foot hung down heavy, and she wasn’t as animated as usual in his arms. But she brightened when the door open, and Emmett and Jasper peered out at her. Edward could see it was taking all their self-control not to run to the little girl, see for themselves that she was okay. He felt a rush of defensiveness, as though he could hear their thoughts. Would this have happened on their watch?

 

It was a ridiculous question. No parent could keep their child safe a hundred percent of the time. But regardless, Edward had to acknowledge he felt guilty - as though he should have been able to keep his daughter from pain. Emmett and Jasper still intimidated him in that way. They always seemed to know what they were doing as parents; Edward was still stumbling along.

 

“Hi! Look. I have a cast. The doctor said I could have pink, but I like blue better. You can draw on it,” she said by way of greeting, reaching for Emmett and Jasper.

 

Reluctantly, Edward passed her to Jasper’s arms. He and Emmett petted and hugged her, looking her over as if to find other wounds.

 

Katie was oblivious. She chattered, her eyes half-hooded. “I have crutches. Daddy said I can try them when I’m not stoned. What’s that mean?”

 

Edward coughed into his hand, trying his hardest not to grin like an asshole. He could see Katie calling him Daddy had hurt the other two men. He didn’t enjoy their pain, but he couldn’t help the rush of glee that went through him.

 

He was still Daddy. To Emmett and Jasper’s face, he was still Daddy.

 

Jasper smiled tightly at her. “It means you’re high as a kite, sugar.”

 

“Oooooh,” Katie said as though she understood, though she clearly didn’t.

 

They only visited for a little while. Katie had been near to passing out in the car. She got her second wind with all the attention she received, but that too faded quickly. She zonked out on the couch even as Emmett and Jasper doodled on her cast.  Edward, understanding their need to do something for Katie, let them carry her to bed.

 

When they came back down, the grandparents had all retreated to the kitchen. Edward invited them to stay for dinner--pizza was on the way--but the couple refused. They weren’t ready yet to be friends, though Edward very much hoped that was where all of this was heading.

 

Some day. Eventually.

 

When they said their goodbyes, Emmett held out his hand to shake Edward’s. He held it for a beat, looking straight in his eyes. “You take care of my baby,” he said.

 

Jasper stepped up beside him, threading an arm through his as he looked at both Edward and Bella. “Thank you for being good to her.”

 

A knot rose to Edward’s throat. He nodded, knowing instinctively they were letting her go. Not that they wouldn’t be there. For the rest of their lives, Katie would be the daughter of their hearts, but they were putting their trust in Edward and Bella now.

 

Beside him, Bella took his hand and squeezed, leaning against him as she looked at Emmett and Jasper. “Thank you. For her. For everything.”

 

They smiled with sad eyes and left. When they’d backed out of the driveway, Bella turned into Edward’s embrace. Edward kissed the top of her head, and rocked her in his arms.

 

“This is it, isn’t it?” she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

 

“What?”

 

“This is the part where I have to believe none of this is a dream.” She rasped and coughed. Then she laughed. “This is what happily ever after looks like, huh? There aren’t supposed to be broken hearts. Katie isn’t supposed to have a broken leg. And I’m not supposed to be all stuffed up and gross.”

 

He chuckled. “Maybe it was my happily ever after. Did you think of that? I’m healthy. I have two gorgeous girls, both of whom I’m fairly certain will recover from their maladies. We’re living off our parents more than I’d like, but hey, that means we have loving, supportive parents, right?” He sighed and turned her to face him. He kissed her. “It’s never going to be perfect, but I’ll take it.”

 

She grinned and kissed the tip of his chin. “Yeah. Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Endless thanks to barburella, songster, MoH, Packy 2.0, and jessypt for their endless support and handholding. So many thanks to all of you for coming with me on another journey.
> 
> Like I said, we have two very hefty chaps ahead of us, so let’s not say goodbye just yet, but let’s mark this tale as told. 
> 
> On a personal note, my latest book, Finding Purgatory, will be free on Amazon tomorrow through the seventeenth. There’s a link in my profile.
> 
> See you soon, ducks.


	28. Outtake Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, so… my intention was to have this be a quick outtake. It’s still quick enough that I don’t want to make it its own story - though it certainly could be. However, it’s long enough that I need to split up the chapters. Three parts, I think. I know, I know. Kris is a wordy beesh.

Edward had pushed up her shirt and was tracing the faded lines of her stretchmarks again. Bella sighed, her eyelids heavy with sleep. She yawned and idly scratched her fingers through his hair. “Why do you always do that?”

 

He scooted up the bed, lying beside her, splaying a hand wide across her belly. She was surprised to see his expression was serious. “Bella, do you want other kids?”

 

Bella started at that, her hands stilling in his hair. “What?” she asked, breathless.

 

His lip twitched. “I guess that answers my question.”

 

“No!” Bella said, too loud. Grunting, she sat up in bed and waited as he sat up with her. “Damn. You have to ease a girl into a conversation like that.” The words came out shakier than she wanted, and her heart was pounding like crazy. She rubbed at her chest as though she could get it to stop that way.

 

“I didn’t mean to freak you out,” Edward said, rubbing her knee.”If it’s not something you want, I’m okay with that.” He grinned. “Besides, Katie loves being an only child.”

 

Bella rolled her eyes. “She won’t always love it.” She drew her legs up and rested her head on her knees looking at him. “I’ve thought about it before. You know, Mom was an only child. Dad is too, but he has Karen. Karen is a good partner. James never was.”

 

She still shuddered when she spoke her stepfather’s name, but she was comforted by Edward’s hand at her back. “When my grandparents were dying, my mother was alone. All their care, all the decisions, all the running back and forth between our house and theirs--she had to do it all herself. I was too young to be much help, but I remember one night, when I was trying to comfort her from a crying jag, she said, ‘I should have had another kid. I shouldn’t have made you go through this alone.’”

 

Edward snorted. “Oh, yeah. _That’s_ what she shouldn’t have put you through.”

 

With a sigh, Bella shifted and rested her head on his shoulder. “I didn’t really get what she was talking about until I was with Charlie. I saw the way Angela and Mikey were together. They can fight like nothing else, but they--and Tyler too, of course--are the only ones who know what it’s like to be raised in their particular family with their parents. They have this connection I can’t touch because I didn’t grow up with them.

 

“Anyway, the thing with that is it’s already too late for Katie.” She huffed. “It’s definitely too late for Katie to grow up the same way any of her siblings would.”

 

“Well, yeah. That ship sailed eight years ago.”

 

“Yes, but I also don’t want her to be the only one to have to deal with us when we’re decrepit.” She nuzzled along Edward’s neck. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, yes, I want more kids. In fact, I want two, because if I can’t give Katie the benefit of a partner to experience childhood with, then I’d want another baby to have that.”

 

She was startled when Edward got up out of bed. “Where are you going?”

 

“Hold on. I need to go flush your birth control pills down the toilet.”

 

Taken aback, Bella laughed. His comment had the desired effect. The somber mood that surrounded them lifted the slightest amount. “Come back here,” she said, and she curled up in his arms when he did.

 

He kissed the side of her hair. “Can you have kids, Bella?” he asked quietly after a moment.

 

Bella’s breath caught and shook as she released it. “I think so.” What had gone so terribly wrong when Katie was born had been a matter of Bella being unable to take care of herself. She’d been starved and dehydrated, exhausted. Her body hadn’t been able to recover from the effects of the severe beating she’d suffered at James’s hands. In all honesty, they were all lucky she’d only had an abruption.They were lucky an unnamed person had called 9-1-1 and gotten help to her so quickly.

 

She always wondered if it was Sasha or if the person had seen Sasha take her baby. Unanswerable questions. The phone call had been anonymous and the person absent when help arrived minutes later.

 

Bleeding out the way she had, left to die in the streets, hadn’t done her any favors. “I was… You know that whole time is fuzzy to me, and I didn’t give a damn about other babies when my baby was missing.” She shook, and he held her tighter. She took several deep, calming breaths. “I think I remember the doctor explaining that any other pregnancy I had would be automatically considered high risk, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try. High risk just means more check-ups so they can catch potential problems.”

 

They were both quiet. Edward simply stroked the side of her arm in the silence.

 

Bella pulled away from him as the implications of the conversation sunk in. “You’re serious. You want this now?”

 

“Well… yeah. I don’t see the point in waiting.”

 

“We’re _almost_ on our own two feet. Almost, but not quite.”

 

Edward’s lip twitched. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but even if you were to get pregnant tonight, kids take most of a year to bake. You’re six months from finishing your program, and you have job prospects lined up. The whole reason you chose medical coding and billing is because you could do some of it freelance at home, right? So if you needed to chill out for a bit, we could still make ends meet. This isn’t going to stop us from moving forward.”

 

Bella cocked her head, thinking. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I’m actually considering this.” She looked at him. “This is what you really want?”

 

In a heartbeat, Edward had tipped them so Bella was flat on her back, him over her. He kissed her. It was a deep kiss but not one meant to initiate anything. He pulled back and looked down on her with adoration on his face. “Yes, this is what I want, but it’s not up to me, Bella. Not really. I’m not the one with the uterus.”

 

He kissed her cheek as he rolled to the side, propping himself up on one elbow. “Although, it’s not the only option. If you did want more children and you didn’t want to carry them, there are other options.”

 

“Yeah. We could ask Emmett and Jasper about their adoption experience.”

 

It had been two and a half years since Bella had been reunited with her lost baby and Edward. There had been a lot of strife, but for the most part, how could she see herself as anything other than lucky? The one regret she couldn’t let go of, couldn’t soothe by reminding herself her baby girl was home and whole, was that her joy had come at the expense of two loving, wonderful men.

 

Edward stroked his fingers along the line of her face. “You know what happened was a rarity. Adoptions work out just fine most of the time. It’s not a bad way to have a family.”

 

“No, you’re right. It’s beautiful. What Emmett and Jasper did for Katie was beautiful.” She took a deep breath and blew it out again. “But that’s not what I want.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

She took his hand and pressed it to her belly, just to feel, to imagine for a moment. “I used to imagine you with me,” she said in a whisper, watching him. Except for that one, awful argument, he’d never reproached her, never threw it in her face that he should have been there, but that didn’t mean Bella didn’t hear it anyway. “I would pretend there was some chance in hell you wouldn’t hate me. That you could stand to touch me. That you were there with me, telling the baby stories.”

 

It was a fantasy. They both knew that even if she had told him she was pregnant, it was highly unlikely they would have been so tender together. Not after she lied about her age. Not when it was complicated, and they were both just a little too young to deal with the situation with total maturity.

 

She moved his hand to her cheek and pressed it there, looking in his shining eyes. “Yeah, Edward. I want this with you.”

 

His grin was blinding. He surged forward, kissing her hard. She laughed at his exuberance and kissed him back again and again.

 

Then he was over her, his hand up her shirt, his fingers at her nipple. She gasped, and her hips bucked against his. “What, you want to try right now?” she asked, giggling.

 

“Well. We can practice anyway.”

~0~

Jasper rolled his eyes fondly, glancing away from the report he’d been looking over when Emmett began to use his stomach as a percussion instrument. He was only drumming with the pads of his fingers, so it didn’t hurt. He tapped out what Jasper thought was a Metallica song. He put his report down and ran his fingers through his husband’s curly hair.

 

When Emmett looked up at the end of the song, Jasper’s breath caught in his throat. He had a look on his face that usually lead to trouble. Not the sexy kind.

 

“I want another kid,” Emmett said without preamble.

 

Jasper winced.

 

It had been the first question on everyone’s mind back when they first lost Katie. Their well-meaning friends had peppered conversation with that damning question. “Are you going to try again?”

 

Their therapist had been hard pressed at the time to convince them it wasn’t a question they needed to answer immediately. They were in too much pain. Their grief had threatened to split them for a time, and so they had a lot of work to do on themselves and their relationship. They tabled the question, and brushed off their friends’ concern.

 

Emmett had alway been brash and spontaneous. Often, he sprung into action the same split second he made a decision. Jasper knew this about his husband, and so he didn’t have to ask if he was sure.

 

“Give me a minute, sugar,” Jasper said, his voice trembling. Just because Emmett was ready didn’t mean he was. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. Of course he had, but every time, a terrible, painful fear had threatened to overtake him. He’d pushed the thought out of his head telling himself he would figure out the answer to that question later.

 

His time was up, and he needed to face this fear.

 

Emmett ducked his head, tracing soft, slow kisses along the line of Jasper’s neck and shoulder. The gesture had a calming effect. Jasper closed his eyes and let himself bask for a few minutes in his husband’s love. He sighed.

 

First, he let himself remember the early days. Those days when he’d told himself he didn’t have time for a relationship; he had science to do. But then there was this big, beautiful man taking up space, demanding attention. He’d reminded Jasper there was more to life than his work. He’d made him a more lighthearted version of himself, a person he hadn’t realized slipped away sometime between grad school and work at the lab. This grown man who saw no shame in roughhousing with his boyfriend in the park. The gentle giant who loved showering him with gifts and over-the-top surprises. He remembered that Emmett had tears in his eyes when they took their vows.

 

Jasper took several deep breaths when his trip down memory lane got to Katie. As always, his heart gave a painful lurch.

 

_“She’s not a Jane,” Emmett said one day when they’d had her for almost a month. “I don’t even like the name Jane. We should pick a name for her. I’m sick of calling her Baby Girl. She needs an identity.”_

_Jasper had tightened his arms around the baby and ducked his head against her downy hair. “We shouldn’t count our chickens. We might not get her.”_

_Emmett had snorted. “Give me a break. Her mother’s dead. An open and shut drug overdose with no foul play. You know damn well the father isn’t going to answer the advertisement. They never do. Babe.” His grin was huge, gleeful as he grabbed Jasper’s hands. “Babe, she’s going to be ours. Our daughter.” He slipped his arms around Jasper’s waist, pulling him closer. “And we should name her. The girl deserves a name. A good name.”_

 

Coming back to the present, Jasper put his arms around Emmett. His husband got the idea quickly. He shifted, cuddling him closer until they were nose to nose, brushing each other with Eskimo kisses. Jasper breathed in and out. In and out. He closed his eyes and tried to find his bravery.

 

Their journey started with a word: “How?”

 

When he opened his eyes, he found the world hadn’t ended. In fact, the way Emmett was looking at him, his eyes lit up, Jasper found it easier to hope that they could still have a child, a unique person they could cherish and raise. There was every reason to believe this time they could have what so many people took for granted--a child to call their own.

 

Obviously, though, they needed help, neither of them possessing a uterus or eggs.

 

“You remember what Alice said?” Jasper said before Emmett could speak.

 

Surprisingly enough, it had been Edward’s sister who’d done the most to bridge the gap between Emmett and Jasper and the Cullen family. The Cullens had always been more than happy to pull them into their fold. They were family. They made that clear over and over again. They just weren’t Katie’s daddies.

 

It was a rock and a hard place for them. They had to appreciate it on some level. Edward and Bella were under no obligation to cater to them, after all. Still, they would always be the people who had destroyed Emmett and Jasper’s beautiful, perfect family.

 

Enter Alice. It was easier to be friends with Alice. Esme, Carlisle, and Charlie were all very nice people, but they were parents. It was different. Once, Alice had overheard Emmett and Jasper grumbling about the big deal Edward made about apologies.

 

“I know, right?” she’d said, making them jump. “Edward is overdramatic about absolutely everything.”

 

She’d made it easier for all of them to be lighthearted and comfortable enough to speak their minds, within reason. Family get-togethers were easier when they knew they could always talk to her without any awkwardness getting between them.

 

About a year before, Alice had taken them aside.

 

“I know you’re not ready to think about this yet, but it’s pretty clear you two were meant to be daddies. I’d understand if you didn’t want to adopt again, so I wanted to let you know. I have no desire for children, but I wouldn’t mind being pregnant. If you wanted a surrogate--hell, if you wanted a donor--I’d say yes.”

 

“Tempting, isn’t it?” Emmett said, swiping his thumb over Jasper’s jaw. “It seems right in a way. The baby would be related to Katie.”

 

Jasper eyed his husband. “But?”

 

Emmett’s lips twitched up and he met Jasper’s gaze. There was fear there, but there was also certainty. “I want to get a kid out of the system, babe. The way we talked about originally. An older child. One of the harder to adopt ones.”

 

Jasper’s heart lurched, but he swallowed down his anxiety. “You don’t want a baby?”

 

“I don’t need a baby. We raised a baby. I want a kid now. A messed up kid like me.”

 

“Sugar, I don’t think there’s a less messed up kid than you in the whole world,” Jasper said, sealing the comment with a kiss.

 

Emmett kissed him back but then pulled away. “Hey. You just called me immature.”

 

“Don’t think about it too hard, big guy.” Jasper winked at him. Then he sighed, his light expression falling. “You don’t want to foster first, do you?”

 

Emmett shook his head vehemently. “No. I can’t. I can’t do that.” He breathed in through his nose, calming himself. “One thing I’ll say for all this damn therapy--I know my limits. I don’t want to have to take a kid to visitation with a parent who just keeps fucking up. And then to take care of a kid only to have a chance that we have to give them back? No.

 

“I still want to adopt out of the foster system, but we’re talking a straight out adoption. One where we know both parents’ rights are done. Signed, sealed, delivered.”

 

Jasper said nothing for a minute. He let the reality of what they were discussing sink in. He let it drift past the defenses that screamed for him to say no. No. How could he risk this? At least if they went with a surrogate and one of them was the biological father, the child could never, ever be taken away from them. No. There had to be another way.

 

But no. The choice was made, and knowing their kid, their son or daughter, was out there as they spoke made Jasper’s arms ache to hold them. “I’ll call the agency first thing in the morning,” he said.

 

They were both silent. It was surreal. Weird. Good?

  
Emmett ducked his head, burying his face in Jasper’s neck. He said nothing, but grabbed Jasper’s hand and held on tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: More gratuitous story soon! Thanks to MoH, Barburella, songster, and Packeh 2.0. 
> 
> I’m off to Yellowstone, but I’m hoping to finish a chapter of Fly Away Home while I’m there. 
> 
> Smooch!


	29. Outtake Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Part two of this overgrown outtake. Enjoy!

As promised, Edward and Bella had let Jasper and Emmett remain a big part of Katie’s life. They picked her up from school most days. That month, however, between a special outing with her grandmother, gymnastics, an overnight piano competition, and Emmett and Jasper’s hectic schedules, they hadn’t seen each other for almost two weeks.

When Katie spotted them, she ran. Emmett held his arms open, and she threw herself into them with an excited squeal. He closed his eyes and spun her around. The sound of her giggles, the sight of her smile, was still one of the best things in his world.

He set her down and she turned to fling herself into Jasper’s arms.

“Hey, sugar,” Jasper said, giving her cheek a big smooch.

“Hey, Nino J.”

By then, Emmett was used to the automatic twinge in his heart whenever she used that title. It was sweet, in a way. Back when she had been deciding what to call them--uncles wasn’t nearly special enough for her--one of her classmates had given a presentation about Mexican culture. Nino was godfather in Spanish, and to many Mexicans, being a Nino had less to do with religion--though that could play an important role as well--and more to do with that person’s position in the family. It was a special title, a special role that had to be chosen, not one a person was born into. She started calling them Nino to make sure they knew they were more special than her blood-related uncles, Mike and Tyler.

Still, Emmett didn’t think it would ever stop hurting that Katie would never call him Daddy again.

Katie chattered the whole way home, catching them up on everything they missed. When they got out the car, she jumped up, clinging to Emmett’s neck. “Oof,” he said, pretending to stumble. He readjusted her higher on his back and wrapped her legs more securely around him. “You’re going to break me someday, you know that?”

It was a ridiculous thing to say. Katie had always been smaller than her age. She was almost nine, but she could have passed for seven. She seemed to have inherited her aunt Alice’s waifish bone structure.

“I can’t break you,” Katie said, giggling.

Emmett stooped and grunted as though each step was difficult. He heard his husband’s rich chuckle join Katie’s laughter, and he smiled.

“Phew.” In the house, he switched Katie around to his arms, carrying her like a baby instead. “You’re much lighter when you’re not trying to break my back.”

“I can’t break you,” Katie insisted again, swinging her legs. “You’re too big.”

Somewhat reluctantly, Emmett set her on her feet again. She set about moving the furniture in their living room. She dragged the coffee table off to the side and pushed the couches back.

“Baby, what on earth are you doing?” Jasper asked, hands on his hips as he watched her.

“I want to show you all my new moves,” she said, sitting down with her legs spread wide to stretch.

Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance. Gymnastics in the house was one of the things they wouldn’t have allowed if they were her parents. However, it wasn’t something they chose to quibble about as babysitters.

After she’d showed off her new routine, Katie settled in her favorite place in their new house: a window seat surrounded by books. She started off reading but, as always, ended up staring outside with a dreamy look on her face.

“Pretty space cadet,” Jasper murmured, coming to sit with Emmett on the couch. He sighed and tilted his head to rest on Emmett’s shoulder.

After a moment, Jasper lifted his head to look at Emmett. “Are you okay, babe?”

Emmett huffed. His husband was an observant bastard sometimes. “Just thinking about when we have the kid,” he said, trying to sound casual. He laughed at himself. “You want to hear something dumb?”

“What’s that?”

“Even though we started the process already, and everything is going great, saying things like that feels so unreal, you know? Like it’s never really going to happen for us.”

“I know what you mean,” Jasper said, his voice quiet.

“But at the same time, even after all this time, I’m worried about how Katie will feel. Will she think we’re trying to replace her?”

Jasper brushed his fingers through his hair. “She used to ask us all the time when we were going to have another baby.”

Emmett winced. That question had been a knife through his heart each and every time she asked. “I know.” He pointed in Katie’s direction with his chin. “I think about it sometimes, though. Seeing another kid bugging her when she wants to read. Or maybe they would play together.” He chuckled. “Or maybe, if we get a teenager, she’d be the one bugging him. Or her. Whatever.”

Jasper squeezed his hand. “We’ll find out soon.”

They only had Katie for about an hour before Edward came by to pick her up. When the doorbell rang, Katie’s eyes lit up. She hopped down from her perch and went running, jumping into Edward’s arms with a cheerful, “Daddy!” as soon as he’d stepped in the door.

“You’re in a good mood today,” Edward said, giving her nose a kiss before he set her down.

“Yup. Is Mommy home tonight, or is it just us?”

“Mommy has school. You know what that means.”

“Daddy-daughter date.” Katie bounced on her feet. “I want Mexican.”

“You’re the boss.” Edward tucked Katie under his arm and looked to Emmett and Jasper. There was a touch of apology to his expression. He knew seeing scenes like that ached. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow, then?”

“Is Bella going to be with you tomorrow?”Jasper asked.

Edward tilted his head, his expression curious. “Yeah.”

“Do you think we can drop her off at your house tomorrow? There’s something we need to talk to you about.”

“Sure. Is everything okay?”

“It’s nothing bad. Just touching base,” Emmett said, wrapping his arm around Jasper’s shoulders.

It was so weird to speak so casually about something so huge and… yeah, he could admit it, really scary. His stomach was tying itself into knots. He was defensive, and that was ridiculous. It was even more ridiculous that he was imagining Edward and Bella’s response to their news.

Some people were wary of foster children. When they had Katie, more than one set of parents had questioned them. They’d asked what was wrong with Katie, what issues she had. Even after they explained she’d been with them since infancy, those parents had remained skeptical at best--often watching like hawks as Katie interacted with their children--and at worst had said they preferred not to arrange a playdate. As though children in the foster system had some kind of disease that made them bad influences.

If Edward and Bella decided that they didn’t want Katie near whatever child Emmett and Jasper chose to adopt…

Well, again, that was ridiculous. Emmett hadn’t always liked Edward and Bella, but they were good people. Not only that, he didn’t think they’d be such massive hypocrites when they knew how easily Katie could have languished in that system.

“Okay,” Edward said. “Talk to you then.”

“It feels like another end, doesn’t it?” Emmett asked, watching Katie walk down the driveway, her hand in Edward’s. “She’s still our daughter, but our concentration is going to be with this kid.”

Jasper tilted his head so their foreheads touched. “It is another end. Our life is about to change again. But it’s also a new beginning.”

~0~

Whenever Emmett and Jasper asked to talk to them, Bella always got the weird feeling she was in trouble, as if she’d been called to the principal’s office. She’d been working, living on her own, paying her own bills for almost five years. She’d been a mother--with a child to raise--for almost three years. It still astounded her to remember she was an adult.

Emmett and Jasper had always intimidated her in that way. They were adults the way her father and Karen were. They had their shit figured out, and came at things with maturity and dignity. They’d never said it, but she thought it must drive them crazy to see their daughter being raised by kids who had no idea what they were doing.

Reminding herself she was a good mother, and if they were here to scold her for something they could go straight to hell, Bella sat up straighter. Besides, it was a ridiculous thing to think. They’d never said anything before; they weren’t going to start now.

She hoped.

When she was shooed away, Katie looked like she might argue. She was as curious as any child, especially when it came to the four most important people in her life. However, she was a good girl and obediently went to play in her room.

The two couples sat across from each other at the table, each clutching their significant others’ hand. Emmett chuckled, shifting his weight. “We all look so nervous.”

“This is… I don’t know. We feel like you should know what’s going on,” Jasper said. He cleared his throat. “A few months ago, we started to look into adopting again. Our paperwork just cleared. It’s just a matter of matching us with a child now.”

Bella blinked. Whatever she’d been expecting, it wasn’t that. Then, as their words sank in, a rush of pure joy went through her. She was out of her seat so fast, her chair fell backward. She was already over to their side of the table before it hit the ground. She threw her arms around Jasper, hugging him tightly. “That’s fantastic.” She threw her arms around Emmett next, and he patted her back in surprise. “That’s… that’s perfect. That’s great. Wow.”

By then, Edward had made his way to their side of the table. He took her hand and pulled her to him gently. To her embarrassment, Bella had started to cry. She covered her face with her hands and made a sound that was part laughter and part growl of exasperation. “Oh, man. I’m sorry. I just..” Her voice cracked, and Edward tucked her under his arm. “You guys were such good dads to Katie. I hated that. I hated taking that away from you. I wanted this for you so much. I know it’s not the same but--- Agh.” She turned her head, hiding in Edward’s chest.

Edward rubbed her back. “Sorry,” he said to Emmett and Jasper, who, Bella imagined, were staring at her as though she’d gone insane. “She’s been a little emotional lately.”

That was putting it mildly. Bella was driving herself crazy these days.

“Are you pregnant?” Emmett asked, sounding shocked.

Bella laughed and raised her head and glanced at Edward. He was beaming. That was answer enough, but she gave Emmett and Jasper a watery smile. “Yeah.” She sniffled, wiping at her eyes. Despite the fact this baby was very planned, Bella had been struggling--hence the weepiness. She was happy, but her first pregnancy and all the trauma surrounding it had left a deep mark. “Six weeks, but Katie doesn’t know yet. We were going to tell her, but I’m glad we waited.”

“Sincerely, congratulations,” Edward said.

“Right back at you, apparently,” Emmett said, his lips twitching up at the corners.

“So tell us your plans. What kind of timeline do you think you’re looking at?” Edward asked. As he spoke, he led Bella back around to their side of the table. He righted her chair, and when she sat, he stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders.

Bella smiled, warmth finding its way in between the cracks of uncertainty she felt. She listened to Emmett and Jasper explain what they had decided and how adopting straight out of the foster system worked.

“We came to talk to you, because we don’t want there to be any issues,” Jasper said. There was an edge to his voice, a hardness to his expression as he looked across at them. “We love Katie. As of this particular moment, she’s still the most important thing in our world. Things are going to change, of course, but we still want to be a part of her life. We want her to be able to come stay with us like she does now.” He paused, his eyes flicking between Bella and Edward. “Even if there are other kids in the house.”

Bella furrowed her eyebrows. She was picking up a defensive vibe from both of them, but she wasn’t sure she understood it. “Katie loves spending time with you guys, and I know you love her.” She huffed. “Personally, I think she’ll like your kids more than she likes her own sibling, at least for a while. She likes being an only child.”

“The thing is, we’re planning to adopt an older child,” Emmett said. “Kids in the system haven’t usually had an easy life. They’re not dangerous. They can be troubled, though.”

“Oh. That’s not…” Edward looked to Bella, and his eyes were questioning. They had a brief, silent conversation, but he knew her well. He turned back to the men. “That’s never going to be something you have to worry about.”

“Are you kidding?” Bella said, and she smiled at them. “How big of an asshole would I have to be to have that kind of a problem?” She shook her head. “My dad saved my life. Who knows what would have happened, what I would have become, if he hadn’t been there for me. If you can do that for a kid like me…” Her voice cracked again, she made a disgruntled noise. Quickly wiping away fresh tears, she looked back at them. “That’s something I want Katie to see. To know that people are valuable, even when they’re damaged.”

Emmett looked at her with a strange expression then, as though he was seeing her for the first time. It occurred to her that they weren’t so different. They were both troubled, broken children who’d worked hard to overcome their separate pasts, to be the parents and partners their loved ones deserved. He nodded at her. “That’s… yeah,” he said, ducking his head.

“So, I guess we should figure out how to tell Katie.” Edward dropped back into the chair beside Bella and put his arm around her. He splayed his hand over her flat belly. “That’s going to be a lot of changes in a short amount of time for our family.”

“Good changes all around,” Bella said, finding some satisfaction in that fact. Finding Katie, though it had been the greatest joy of her life, had been a very traumatic change. And it had been worse for Emmett and Jasper. She was fairly sure there was only heartache on their side of that whole situation. All of this, she hoped, would be the antithesis of that.

 **  
**Jasper and Emmett looked at each other and clasped hands on the table. “Very good changes,” Jasper said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One more part coming up. Then I think we’re done. 
> 
> Mwah.


	30. Outtake Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, I still intend to write Charlie and Bella’s story. For now...let’s wrap this overblown outtake up.

Bella woke up screaming.

 

Rather, she woke with a cry. The screaming had all been in her head. Her nightmares.

 

“You’re okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

 

Bella groaned, but she leaned blindly into Edward’s embrace. The fear hadn’t left her; she wasn’t entirely sure where she was yet, but she knew she was safe in his arms.

 

“Fuck,” she muttered a few minutes later when her heartbeat had returned to normal. She sighed and rested her head against his chest. “Did you know you say the exact same thing to Katie when she has a nightmare?”

 

Edward brushed her hair back from her face. “Well, you’re both my sweethearts.” He cupped her cheek and tilted her head up. “And I have you.” He kissed her forehead and let his lips linger there. “You want to tell me about it?”

 

“I don’t know why this is happening. It’s been years since I’ve had nightmares like this.”

 

Edward’s lips twitched. “Really? You don’t know why this is happening?” He drew his fingers down Bella’s arm, tickling lightly. He cupped his hand over the swell of her belly. “I think I have some idea.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “It was James again then?”

 

Bella shuddered and nodded. She put her hand over his, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as a wave of fierce protectiveness went through her. “He was standing over me again.” She breathed in and out, steadying herself. “And he was going to hurt me and the baby.”

 

Edward shifted, and they moved until she was cradled in his arms, her back against his chest. He slipped his hands under her shirt. Bella leaned back, calmer and more content by the minute. Edward was so endearing about her pregnancy. He was right. She knew exactly why she was having nightmares about James. It was no warped fantasy--they were memories. Her first pregnancy had been such a desperately lonely, frightening time.

 

“I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you,” Edward said, kissing along her jaw. “Not to you or Katie or our little alien.”

 

Bella remembered how alone she’d felt in her mother’s house, how she’d stayed up so many sleepless nights, her legs tucked up and her arms wrapped around her belly. She used to talk to her baby, to imagine it was there with her, its warm little body and happy gurgle filling the emptiness she’d felt

 

She leaned her head on Edward’s shoulder. No. This was the opposite of what her first pregnancy had been. While she ached because of what her isolation had cost her, she couldn’t let herself dwell on it. She wasn’t alone anymore. She had a wonderful family, both her own little family and her extended support system. They were all looking out for her, Katie, and her baby.

~0~

It was impossible not to have some lingering doubts, regrets, and resentments about a situation like theirs. Edward reminded himself frequently there were positives about how everything had gone down. He liked to believe he would have been able to give Bella all the help she needed, but that was probably untrue. If she’d told him when she was pregnant with Katie, she might never have found her father, discovered what it was like to be given unconditional love and support from a parent. Her mother and stepfather had warped her psyche. All of that might have gone untreated, and she might not have been the great parent or partner as she was now.

 

Still, it chafed. Yes, the intervening years had made them both better adults, and better for each other, but he’d still missed six years of his daughter’s life. Nothing could undo that.

 

This pregnancy had done a lot to soothe old wounds, though. He could fume all he wanted that he would have been the perfect partner during her first pregnancy, but now he could live that reality.

 

Lately, Bella had been obsessed with crappy, processed cheese--the kind that came in individual packages. He’d gone with a coworker at lunch time to Costco and gotten a huge block of the stuff.

 

“You are going to love me so hard right now,” Edward said as he came in the door.

 

Bella quirked an eyebrow at him. “Right now? I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We don’t want to traumatize our daughter with public sexcapades.”

 

Before he could quip back, the daughter in question finally cottoned on to the fact he was home. “Daaaaddddddddyyyyyyyy!” she called gleefully as she ran down the stairs.

 

Of course. He’d just interrupted homework time. He was a hero.

 

He opened his arms so Katie could leap into them. Rather than release him right away, she wrapped both her arms and legs around him. She was a little needy these days. Nothing too drastic; just moments like these where she tended to be clingier. She’d been the star of her world all her life, first with Jasper and Emmett and then, when she joined Edward and Bella’s family. She was used to being the only. The only child. The only grandchild, all the more special because of their unique situation.

 

Normal, Edward figured, and he liked the extra hugs.

 

“Guess what,” Katie said, releasing him enough so that she could look him in the eyes as he carried her to the living room.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“I decided on a name for my baby brother.”

 

They’d found out they were having a boy a week before. Katie wanted to name him. They had come to the compromise that each of them--Edward, Bella, and Katie--would submit a name, and they would decide from that pile.

 

“You didn’t tell me you’d picked out a name,” Bella said, ruffling her daughter’s hair as Edward set her down on the sofa.

 

“I just decided.”

 

“What is it?” Edward asked, sitting on Bella’s other side and putting an arm around her.

 

Katie tilted her head. “Do you have your names picked out? I think I want to hear them all at once.”

 

Edward looked to Bella and raised an eyebrow. He was curious about that himself. He knew that if Katie had been a boy, she’d wanted to name him Edward, but he’d put a kibosh on that this time around. He preferred babies to have their own names, unique in the family.

 

“I’m ready if you are,” Bella said.

 

“You first, Mommy.” Katie bounced in place.

 

“I like Xavier.”

 

Edward raised an eyebrow. “Like the X-Men?”

 

“Yeah.” Her smile was bashful. “I used to like the cartoon. I watched it a lot when I was young. The professor was wise, but he could kick ass when he needed to.”

 

A rare happy memory from her childhood, he recognized, and he squeezed her hand. “What about a middle name?”

 

“Xavier Cameron. I like Cameron. I don’t know why.”

 

“Cameron is weird,” Katie said, crinkling her nose. “I know a boy and a girl Cameron. That’s why it’s weird.”

 

Bella crossed her arms. “Pffft. I think it’s nice. It’s okay if it’s a boy and a girl name.”

 

“It’s nice. Just weird.” Katie gave her mother a consoling pat.

 

“I like it,” Edward said, squeezing Bella. He loved that both Bella and Katie could get wrapped up in beautiful fantasies.

 

“What about you, Daddy? What did you choose?”

 

“Hmm.” Edward rubbed his chin. It was strange how he felt almost protective of the name. As though the name were attached to a baby he could already hold in his arms, and if he lost the name game, he could lose the baby. “Rowan Charles Cullen.”

 

“Charles?” Bella asked, her eyes shining.

 

“I know what I said about not liking the idea of naming a kid after someone in our lives, but it’s a middle name.” He reached over to brush Bella’s cheek. “I’m so glad you found him, Bella, and that he loves you so much.”

 

“Yeah,” she said. “I really like that.” She took a breath. “Rowan sounds like a fantasy hero.”

 

“I think so.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, and she put her hand to his chest.

 

“Our little adventurer,” she murmured and kissed his cheek.

 

“Okay, kiddo. It’s your turn now,” Bella said, turning to Katie.

 

Katie pulled her feet up on the couch and angled herself so she was facing her parents. “I thought it’d be cool if he had a science name. Because I’m going to be a scientist, so maybe he can be too.”

 

Edward nodded, hiding a smile. “Sure. It’s all in the name.”

 

She gave him a disparaging look. “Well, no, Daddy. Just because you name him like a scientist doesn’t mean he’ll be a scientist. He’s his own person.”

 

“Oh, yes. That’s right. I’m sorry.”

 

“Anyway. I really don’t like geneticists’ names, except for Nino Jasper, and you can’t name him that.”

 

“Right,” Bella said, looking amused.

 

“So I like Nikola. Like Nikola Tesla. Nikola Galileo,” Katie said proudly.

 

Edward’s eyebrows shot up. “Galileo. That’s a mouthful.”

 

Katie furrowed her brows. “Galileo is my favorite. And it’s only a middle name. I think it’s cool.”

 

“It is cool.” Nikola had some merit, after all, and both Edward and Bella liked unique names.

 

“I think we should ask, Brother,” Katie said. She slid off the couch onto the floor and rested her head against Bella’s stomach. She’d taken a liking to this after she saw Edward do it, and she chatted frequently with her little brother. She knocked on Bella. “Hello in there? Will you tell us your name? Do you like Nikola Galileo?”

 

After a moment, Katie peered up at Bella. “Did he move?”

 

Bella ran a hand through Katie’s hair. “I think he’s sleeping right now.”

 

“Maybe you just have to listen.” Edward got on his knees on the floor and lifted Bella’s shirt so he could rest his ear against her skin. “Hey, buddy. Are you an Xavier, a Rowan, or a Nikola?”

 

Laying her ear against Bella’s opposite side, Katie giggled. “Mommy, your tummy is talking.”

 

“Have you considered that maybe it’s your brother? Maybe he’s not a baby but a sea monster.”

 

“Ewwwww. That’s gross.”

 

Bella laughed, and Edward liked hearing it through her skin. He felt her fingers in his hair and craned his head up to see her smiling down at him.

 

The past didn’t matter anymore. His present and his future looked amazing.

~0~

“Are you sure I can’t go with you?” Katie pouted as she looked over at Jasper. “I can help.”

 

Jasper smiled. “I know you could, sugar, but I think it should be me and Emmett this time.” He reached back to squeeze her knee. It had been a difficult decision--Katie would always be their daughter in their hearts--but it was only fair to their perspective child that clear lines were drawn. Katie would be a special person in their lives, but she couldn’t be the same. She wasn’t a part of their immediate family unit. “But I think it’s great you’re so excited.”

 

“Well, yeah. I could tell him or her that it’s great being at your house. That you get to go to lots of museums, and Nino Emmy is really funny. And you’re really smart.”

 

“Hey,” Emmett said from the driver’s seat. “Does that mean you think I’m not smart?”

 

“No. You’re smart, but it’s not the same kind of smart. Like being a cop is not the same as being a scientist, that’s all. It’s still really cool though.”

 

“Thanks for your vote of confidence, kid.”

 

The next day, Jasper was so nervous he couldn’t sit still as they drove to the park where the adoption event was being held. “Seems so weird to pick a kid out like you go to the pound.”

 

Emmett shrugged. “Means to an ends, babe. A lot of these kids have been in the system way too long. If there’s a chance, they need to take it. Besides, it works. Easier to want to adopt a kid when you have a connection, you know?”

 

“I know. It’s just one of those things. I wish it’d never gotten to that point for any of these kids, but if it hadn’t, we wouldn’t have this chance.”

 

They pulled into a parking space, and Emmett took Jasper’s hand. He brought it to his lips, locking eyes with his husband. “We got this,” he said.

 

Jasper shivered. He was scared, but as always, he was calmer when he remembered Emmett was still there by his side. “Course we do.”

 

They got out, and their social worker checked them into the event. Once she was assured they had no questions, she set them loose to wander.

 

It was more heartbreaking than not. Children of all ages were scattered around the park. Some of them were simply playing, looking as carefree as any child should. Others were glancing around warily.

 

As Jasper understood from their conversation with the social worker, these kinds of events could be stressful for kids. Most of them knew they were on display. The less jaded children put on a show, trying to make themselves more attractive to prospective parents. Some of the older children, who had dared to hope before only to be disappointed time and time again, were hanging around, trying to look like they didn’t care as much as they truly did.

 

Jasper took Emmett’s hand and squeezed, needing the comfort. There were so many children here in need of homes. So many frightened and hopeful faces. Beautiful, unwanted kids. He wanted to help them all.

 

As they strolled, Jasper began to wonder how this was supposed to work. Was it like when he’d picked a puppy out at the pound? His mother had told him to go in without any expectations. The one who comes up to you, interacts with you, calls to you, that’s your dog.

 

Children weren’t pets, and Jasper wasn’t quite sure where to start.

 

They’d stopped walking. Jasper tore his gaze away from a little girl who looked too much like Katie, and turned to see where his husband was looking. He was looking at a set of sullen, pre-teen boys who were sitting on a picnic table, isolated from the larger group. Emmett looked to Jasper and quirked an eyebrow.

 

Before Jasper could nod his acquiescence that they could go talk to the lads, something very small barrelled into his legs. “Oof,” said a tiny voice, and Jasper looked down to see a brown haired, brown eyed girl shaking herself off. She was wearing a pretty dress, but it was rumpled, bits of dirt and debris stuck to it as though she had been rolling in the dirt recently.

 

“Oh, man. Are you okay?” Emmett asked as the girl climbed to her feet.

 

The girl looked up and her eyes went wide. She craned her head to look all the way up at them. “Whoa. You’re tall.” Her eyes went even wider as she concentrated on Emmett. “And big.”

 

Jasper chuckled. “Are you okay?” he repeated for his husband. “You’re bleeding. I think you should get that looked at.”

 

“Huh?” The little girl looked down and extended one leg in front of her to look. She teetered, and Jasper had to stop himself from steading her. “Oh, that’s nothing. Doesn’t even hurt.”

 

Before any of them could say anything else, a boy about the girl’s age--perhaps a little older--came romping up. He threw his arm around the girl’s shoulders and grinned up at Jasper and Emmett. “Hi. I’m Felix. Me and Heidi are best friends. Huh, Heidi. Huh?” He tickled the little girl as he spoke.

 

All at once, Heidi’s features twisted. She growled and threw herself at the boy. Despite the fact he was built sturdy and she was a tiny slip of a thing, she knocked him over. They began to wrestle and yell at each other.

 

Jasper started, somewhat shocked, and Emmett took a step in their direction. One of the social workers called the kids’ names. Before any of the adults could step in, another child--an older boy--ran up to them. He grabbed Felix under the arms and dragged him to his feet. “Hey, why’d you do that?” he demanded. “You know she don’t like that.”

 

The boy turned and scooped Heidi up in his arms. She automatically hid her face at his neck. He looked at the adults. “She didn’t mean it, I swear. She told Felix before not to tickle her. She don’t like it, that’s all.” He looked over to Jasper and Emmett. “She’s a good girl. Really.”

 

The social worker sighed and turned toward the men. “Demetri, Felix, and Heidi are all in the same foster home along with three other kids.” She craned her head, scanning the park as though looking for them, but gave that up after a moment. “Heidi and Felix don’t always see eye to eye.”

 

“I was just tickling her, Miss Ramos,” Felix said, scowling at Heidi. “It’s just a tickle. It’s just to make her laugh.”

 

“I don’t like it!” Heidi’s words were muffled against Demetri’s neck.

 

“He was just trying to play with you, Heidi,” the social worker said.

 

Emmett cleared his throat. He stepped cautiously closer to Demetri and Heidi, and patted the little girl’s back with a gentle touch. “You know what I think?”

 

She lifted her head, giving him a dubious look.

 

“I think that it doesn’t matter if he was trying to make you laugh. If you don’t like what someone does, I don’t think they should do it.” Emmett glanced at the social worker. “It’s her body. If she doesn’t feel comfortable being tickled, Felix shouldn’t do it.”

 

“But--” Felix started, but the social worker held her hand out.

 

“Come on, Felix. There’s a couple just over the hill who are looking for little boys like you.” She gave Jasper and Emmett a wan smile before she wandered off with Felix.

 

Demetri made a disgruntled noise, watching the social worker retreat. He looked back to Emmett and smiled, then he looked to Heidi. “I like what he said. You told Felix to stop before, and he should have stopped. You know Carmen would have stopped him.”

 

“Who’s Carmen?” Jasper asked gently.

 

Demetri smiled at him. “She’s our foster mom. Cool lady.” He sat down with Heidi still on his lap.

 

Her mood seemed to have swung again. She was pressed up against Demetri, staring at Jasper and Emmett. “You don’t think I’m a bad girl?”

 

Jasper squatted so he could look up at her. “I think there are other ways to handle things than hitting someone, but no. You’re not a bad girl. It sounds like Felix doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself, huh?”

 

Heidi nodded, her big brown eyes wide and mournful. “I just don’t like it,” she said, hiding her face again.

 

“That’s okay. I understand that.”

 

“Is this your sister?” Emmett asked Demetri.

 

Demetri seemed somewhat surprised by his attention, and again he smiled. “Oh, nah. Not like… blood or anything. She’s in my house right now.” His smile grew wider. “That’s how I know she’s such a good kid.” He nuzzled Heidi’s cheek--apparently she trusted him enough that she giggled instead of freaking out on him. “Heidi-Idaho, show them your trick.”

 

She ducked again and shook her head. “No, they won’t like it.”

 

“I’m pretty sure we will,” Jasper said.

 

Heidi eyed him, but she slid off Demetri’s lap. She opened her hands, palms up. “See my hands?” she said, displaying them first to Jasper then to Emmett.

 

They both nodded and she flipped her hands over for good measure. When she was satisfied her small audience had examined her hands well enough, she flipped her hand again, revealing a shiny quarter. Jasper and Emmett made a big show of gasping in surprise and wonderment. Heidi beamed.

 

“How old are you?” Emmett asked.

 

“Five,” Heidi said. She reached back and patted Demetri’s knee. “An’ this is Demi. He’s thirteen. That’s almost grown-up. But he still needs a forever family. Coz Mommies and Daddies are supposed to love you forever, even when you’re all grown up.”

 

Demetri ruffled her hair. “Don’t worry about me, kid. They want little cuties like you, not big kids like me.” He shrugged in Jasper and Emmett’s direction. “Don’t worry. I know how it goes. Heidi is the coolest little kid, though. For real. I’ve lived with a lot of brats, right? She’s cool.”

 

They chatted a while longer, and Jasper wasn’t at all surprised when his husband turned to him as they walked away.

 

“Yes,” he said before Emmett said anything.

 

Emmett’s smile was blinding.

~0~

“Demetri is very protective of Heidi,” their social worker--not the same woman who had led Felix away--explained. She grimaced and gave them a sad smile. “He found out she suffered a very similar trauma to what he suffered, and so he started to watch out for her. She does have some anger problems on occasion--the same kind of thing you witnessed where someone touches her in a way she doesn’t like--and he’s been particularly effective in calming her down.”

 

The woman brightened as she looked at them. “But she’s not so far out of hand that she can’t be reached. She’s been working with a therapist who’s very optimistic. A little consistency and love, and Heidi will be fine without Demetri. She’s a sweet child most of the time.”

 

“You misunderstand us,” Emmett said, glancing at Jasper and then back to the woman in front of them. “We want them both.”

 

“I...oh!.” She gave a blustering kind of laugh. “Oh, my. I’m sorry. That’s not what I expected.”

 

“Assuming it’s a good match, of course,” Jasper said. “The… trauma that they suffered. How would they handle living with two men?”

 

“Well, they have no problem with their foster father. Demetri has been in the system longer. He’s had the occasional problem with a foster father or brother, but I think that has more to do with… well…”

 

“He’s gay,” Emmett said.

 

The woman flushed, but she smiled again. “Yes. And because of what happened to him, that causes perhaps more than the usual confusion.” She cocked her head, stroking her chin. “Perhaps that would make you an ideal match. It would be good for him to have two positive role models in his life.”

 

Emmett and Jasper looked at each other again, excitement and hope growing stronger. Emmett had tried to keep it tamped down--hope was dangerous--but he just couldn’t any longer. “How do we make this happen?” he asked the social worker.

**~Two Months Later~**

**~Katie’s PoV~**

“They’re here, they’re here, they’re here, they’re here.” Katie bounced around the living room, bubbling over with excitement. “Is Baby Brother ready?”

 

Her mother raised an eyebrow at her and yawned. Mommy was always tired. Baby Brother cried all night long. “Calm down, Katie,” she said. “You’re going to scare the poor kids.”

 

“I’ve already met them.” Mommy also forgot a lot of things. But Grandma had said Katie needed to be patient with Mommy and Daddy and Baby Brother. The baby was only two weeks old, and he was exhausting, she said. “Remember, I told you? Demetri carries Heidi around everywhere. She’s just a baby, but maybe Tyler can still play with her.”

 

Bella snorted. “Honey, you’re not that much older than her.”

 

Katie shrugged. That was a ridiculous thing to say. She was not even close to five.

 

“You said you liked Heidi,” her father said, coming into the room.

 

Katie shrugged again. “She’s very pretty. I like Demetri.” She went over to where her mother was changing Baby Brother on the sofa, and she tickled his tummy. She liked when he kicked his legs like that. “I think it’s cool Heidi has a big brother. He likes to carry her around.” She shook her head. “Anyway. Is everyone ready?”

 

“Yeah,” Edward said, putting his arm around her. “They’re in the back, though. They don’t want to overwhelm the poor kids.”

 

“They can handle it. They’re tough,” Katie said. That was what Nino Emmy had said about them. Tough kids. But not in the bad way. Not like mean. He only meant that they had been through a lot of bad things. But they were here now, and Katie had told them that Emmy and Jasper wouldn’t let bad things happen to them. They were good daddies. “I’m going to say hello.”

 

“Katie--” her mom and dad said, but she was already out the door. She darted down the driveway just as Demetri was hopping out of the car.

 

“Hi, Demi,” she said, liking the name Heidi called him.

 

“Hey,” he said. He seemed more quiet than before. Like he was scared. He looked over at the door.

 

“Everyone’s here,” Katie said, peering around him to where Heidi was struggling with the strap of her car seat. Jasper had gotten out to help her. “Everyone came. Even Grandpa Charlie and my uncles and aunt. My uncle Tyler is younger than me. Isn’t that weird? And--”

 

Nino Emmy put his hand over her mouth. “Settle down, Katie,” he said. He sounded amused. “This is a lot for Demetri and Heidi to take in.”

 

Heidi, by that time, had made her way to the other side of the car. She lifted her arms up, and Demetri picked her up, hugging her close. Katie wondered if he was strong enough to pick her up. Maybe she would ask him later.

 

“She’s been so excited for today,” Daddy said. He had followed her outside. Mommy was right behind him, and that made Katie happy.

 

“Look, Heidi, look. You want to meet my baby brother?” Katie asked, pointing at the baby Mommy had against her shoulder.

 

Her mother smiled at her Ninos. “She’s been calling him Baby Brother since he was born. You would think he didn’t have a name.”

 

“I know his name,” Katie said, frowning at her mother. She looked up at Heidi. “His name is Lucas Charles Cullen. Charles because that’s my grandpa’s name. Lucas because that’s what we all liked. You want to see him? Mommy, let Heidi and Demi see him.”

 

“Katie,” Daddy said, a warning in his tone.

 

“Please let them see him,” Katie corrected.

 

Heidi was curious as she craned her head to look. Demi ducked his head and smiled at Edward and Bella. “Cute kid.”

 

“We like him,” Daddy said, putting his arm around Mommy. He was smiling really big.

 

Katie told Demetri and Heidi her mommy and daddy’s names. Then she told them about everyone waiting inside, and how they were all very nice.

 

“This is a good family,” she said, nodding.

 

When they headed inside, Katie hung back. She took Emmett and Jasper’s hands, walking with them toward the house. “Hey, know what?”

 

“What’s that?” Jasper asked, looking down at her. She liked how their hands were so big.

 

“I’m happy you get to be daddies again. I think this is our happily ever after for everyone.”

 

They both grinned and they leaned down, each of them hugging her for a long moment. “I think you’re exactly right,” Emmett said.

 

When they let her go, Katie ran ahead. She took her daddy’s hand and then wrapped her other arm around her mother’s waist.

 

It was a really, really good family.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Many thanks to the lovely ladies of my group for helping me come up with boys’ names. Thanks to barburella, myonlyheroin, songster, and Packy 2.0 for making my docs a wonderful place.
> 
> Like I said, I’m planning on writing Charlie and Bella’s story, but I have to catch up on some of my other fics. So ta ta for now. It’s been wonderful as always.


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